# Panda Porn and other ideas
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/panda-porn-and-other-ideas/60158
**Category:** Factual Questions
**Created:** [March 30, 2001, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/panda-porn-and-other-ideas/60158 "2001-03-30T20:19:51Z")
**Posts on this page:** 10
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)
#### Post date: [March 30, 2001, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/panda-porn-and-other-ideas/60158/1 "2001-03-30T20:19:51Z")
Well ok, I’m totally dry on panda porn ideas.
But why aren’t we artificially inseminating these ladies? Or having test tube panda babies?
These pandas are obviously “not in the mood” or else they’re very prudish and shy and don’t want the world to watch them procreate. So what do we do?
jarbaby
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### Author:  [@Zyada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyada)
#### Post date: [March 30, 2001, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/panda-porn-and-other-ideas/60158/2 "2001-03-30T20:40:12Z")
Which pandas are we talking about?
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### Author:  [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)
#### Post date: [March 30, 2001, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/panda-porn-and-other-ideas/60158/3 "2001-03-30T20:52:42Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Zyada \*
> Which pandas are we talking about?
I’m talking about any pandas in captivity. It seems that getting them to mate and get pregnant is always a big chore…and just this week I heard on the news (I don’t have a cite) that they considered a new male panda a flop because he wouldn’t mate with the two females they’d provided him with.
I say, take the semen from the Panda, put it in the female…what’s the biggie? They do it with other animals all the time, don’t they?
jarbaby
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### Author:  [@Zyada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyada)
#### Post date: [March 30, 2001, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/panda-porn-and-other-ideas/60158/4 "2001-03-30T21:08:18Z")
Actually, they are using artificial insemination if necessary, but I think the researchers want to know as much about pandas as they can - which means they want to see pandas mating and what leads up to it. Perverts 😉
There is an article in this month’s Smithsonian (don’t know if it’s on the news-stands yet) about the new pandas at the National Zoo and it talks some about pandas mating. They’re not old enough yet to be seeing panda porn \. Here’s an intro to the article [http://www.smithsonianmag.si.edu/smithsonian/issues01/apr01/panda.html](http://www.smithsonianmag.si.edu/smithsonian/issues01/apr01/panda.html)
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### Author:  [@Zyada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyada)
#### Post date: [March 30, 2001, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/panda-porn-and-other-ideas/60158/5 "2001-03-30T21:14:01Z")
And there’s a link at the bottom of that page to another older article titled “The Rarest of the Rare” which also discusses the issues of breeding animals in captivity. In some animals, placing the semen inside the female isn’t enough and if you don’t know what else has to happen, the insemination won’t be successful.
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### Author:  [@dublos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dublos)
#### Post date: [March 30, 2001, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/panda-porn-and-other-ideas/60158/6 "2001-03-30T21:14:04Z")
Oh, Jarbabyj, I am so very disappointed.
You come up with “Panda Porn and other idea” and all you can come up with to put in the body is the scientifically dry idea of artificial insemination?
Have you looked at [this page](http://www.geocities.com/RainForest/3019/news.html)?
I got **way too much information** about panda sex there. From the description of male panda’s “equipment” and “sexual technique” I really feel sorry for the lady pandas.
I’m sorry, the size of a human **thumb** when fully erect? On a critter **that** size? Can you say “Is it in yet?”
-Doug
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### Author:  [@Padeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Padeye)
#### Post date: [March 30, 2001, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/panda-porn-and-other-ideas/60158/7 "2001-03-30T22:25:54Z")
And I thought this was about an underground Walter Lantz cartoon with Woody, Buzz and Andy.
PS to dumbasses: I’m not talking about _Toy Story_😃
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### Author:  [@DougC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DougC)
#### Post date: [March 31, 2001, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/panda-porn-and-other-ideas/60158/8 "2001-03-31T01:00:39Z")
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- Every time I hear anybody mention Pandas I get a flashback to my early teens, watching a pair of Pandas (blank)ing - _on the evening news_.- MC
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### Author:  [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)
#### Post date: [March 31, 2001, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/panda-porn-and-other-ideas/60158/9 "2001-03-31T02:52:27Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by MC \*
> \*\* - - - Every time I hear anybody mention Pandas I get a flashback to my early teens, watching a pair of Pandas (blank)ing - _on the evening news_.- MC \*\*
And suddenly…we all understood MC.
jarbaby
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### Author:  [@DougC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DougC)
#### Post date: [March 31, 2001, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/panda-porn-and-other-ideas/60158/10 "2001-03-31T03:03:53Z")
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- There was only a couple Giant Pandas in the US, and they borrowed one or two from China because the US ones wouldn’t mate - (or maybe they were the same sex, I don’t remember exactly) - but anyway, when they started doing it, it was a Really Big Deal. Videocameras were there, and it was shown on the evening news. Car crashes, Pandas boinking, and the weather report. I swear. - MC