# Pants-wetting airline passengers doing the terrorists' job **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 20, 2006, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pants-wetting-airline-passengers-doing-the-terrorists-job/369430 "2006-08-20T06:54:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2006, 10:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pants-wetting-airline-passengers-doing-the-terrorists-job/369430/81 "2006-08-22T10:21:34Z")
Anyway, if we make our flight security decisions based on children’s anxieties, at the least we’ll have to leave the cabin lights on all night to keep the monsters from crawling out of the toilet. ---
**Author:** ![coffeecat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/coffeecat/32/3405_2.png) [@coffeecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coffeecat)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2006, 10:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pants-wetting-airline-passengers-doing-the-terrorists-job/369430/82 "2006-08-22T10:26:59Z")
[QUOTE=faithfool] I just wonder, after we’re all made to fly naked (like was suggested somewhere above), when will the cavity searches begin? Surely we can’t be too careful. And if that’s the case, those anal probes just might be designed by Jenna Jameson. :eek: [/QUOTE] Or _How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Terrorists_ ---
**Author:** ![crowmanyclouds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crowmanyclouds/32/19884_2.png) [@crowmanyclouds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crowmanyclouds)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2006, 10:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pants-wetting-airline-passengers-doing-the-terrorists-job/369430/83 "2006-08-22T10:33:03Z")
[QUOTE=DanBlather] …To date their success bombing planes has been rather limited, but that is because of constant vigilence such as…no fly lists… [/QUOTE] [ > [@](#): > > **Airline passengers to U.S. to be checked against ‘no-fly’ list** > Thu, Aug. 17, 2006 > WASHINGTON – Airline passengers will soon have their names checked against the U.S. “no-fly” list before flights take off for the United States, the homeland security chief said Wednesday. > > The requirement, resisted by the airline industry for fear of costly delays, could be in place by early next year. It would make permanent a security measure temporarily put in place for flights from Britain after last week’s foiled plot to bomb trans-Atlantic flights. > > Currently, airlines must submit their passenger lists for international flights 15 minutes after takeoff… ]([http://www.dfw.com/mld/dfw/news/nation/15294276.htm](http://www.dfw.com/mld/dfw/news/nation/15294276.htm))If they don’t check the list until after the plane takes off, isn’t it more of a “fly list” than a “no-fly list”? CMC fnord! ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2006, 10:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pants-wetting-airline-passengers-doing-the-terrorists-job/369430/84 "2006-08-22T10:48:06Z")
…and if you’re on the list, they don’t land? ---
**Author:** ![Martiju](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e8c25b/32.png) [@Martiju](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martiju)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2006, 10:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pants-wetting-airline-passengers-doing-the-terrorists-job/369430/85 "2006-08-22T10:48:39Z")
What I didn’t understand was why the complainers weren’t told that they didn’t have to remain on the flight…seems far more logical to me. ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2006, 10:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pants-wetting-airline-passengers-doing-the-terrorists-job/369430/86 "2006-08-22T10:52:50Z")
[QUOTE=Rayne Man] WRONG, it was the actions of the stupid passengers in spreading false stories and causing panic which would have upset the children. By all accounts the two men were sitting by themselves, looking at their watches and wearing their thick coats. [/quote] I’m just thinking about the chronology of how it would have happened: six passengers refused to board, therefore the flight will not have been pushed back on time. The guys understandably start clock-watching, as anybody would. At the same time, the rumours are starting, at which point half the plane are sneaking glances at them. And, my God, they’re _looking at their watches_ in a suspicious way! > [@](#): > > Another thing that should be taken into consideration is that this was a late-night flight. I imagine that a certain amount of liqueur would have been consumed by some of the passengers, and will all know how drink and rational judgement don’t always go together. Yikes, it was a 3am departure. No wonder the kids were crying. ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2006, 10:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pants-wetting-airline-passengers-doing-the-terrorists-job/369430/87 "2006-08-22T10:55:39Z")
[QUOTE=Martiju] What I didn’t understand was why the complainers weren’t told that they didn’t have to remain on the flight…seems far more logical to me. [/QUOTE] They were screaming and causing havoc, the Asian guys were sat quietly waiting to fly home. Easier to get the oh-so-helpful Spanish police to ‘investigate’ the two ‘suspicious’ characters than pacify a bunch of hysterical Mancs. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2006, 11:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pants-wetting-airline-passengers-doing-the-terrorists-job/369430/88 "2006-08-22T11:01:50Z")
[QUOTE=The Flying Dutchman] Well yah. Thanks to George Bush ! (I’m partially kidding) If you were living in Iraq, Afghanistan or Israel you might think differently. [/QUOTE] I live in Spain’s “terrorist country” and I don’t think differently. Before they came up with the notion of “kale borroka” and some genius of a judge decreed that it’s “not terrorist activity”, one of the steps in the training of ETA’s puppies was to blow up the big electric station in my home town. The Guardia Civil has taken more than one to the hospital after he managed to do more damage to himself than to the transformer. I know people who have survived attacks from ETA, been to funerals of people who were killed by ETA; at age 8, I was in ETA’s death list and so were all my cousins, uncles and great-uncles, my 2yo bro and my 2mo bro (yeah, apparently ETA doesn’t like our lastname). I’ve been called a murderer just for being from my homeland; I’ve been called a traitor to my foreparents for being from my homeland and not a separatist (FFS, one of my foreparents signed the unification treaty!) And I’m not dumb enough to “complain about flying with a bearded muslim”. I’ve got better things to do with my life than shit my pants, thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Rayne\_Man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/df705f/32.png) [@Rayne\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rayne_Man)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2006, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pants-wetting-airline-passengers-doing-the-terrorists-job/369430/89 "2006-08-23T11:18:51Z")
The two men involved have now given a newspaper interview :- [Daily Mirror](http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/tm_objectid=17607948%26method=full%26siteid=94762%26headline=exclusive%2d%2dmalaga%2djet%2dmutiny%2dpair%2ds%2dshock%2dat%2dplane%2dejection-name_page.html) As you can see they were speaking Urdu and not Arabic, they were wearing windcheaters and not a heavy coat, and they must be Muslim fundamentalists because they had been on a boozy holiday. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2006, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pants-wetting-airline-passengers-doing-the-terrorists-job/369430/90 "2006-08-23T11:40:17Z")
Actually, they were probably the only people on the plane dressed in suitable clothing for an arrival at sunny Manchester in the dead of night. Now I think about it, I’ve caught a flight with a ludicrous amount of clothing (bulky overcoat et al) given the mild weather at Stansted. But this was because I’d checked the forecast in Glasgow, and didn’t fancy waiting for a train at Prestwick in sub-zero temperatures in just a shirt should Ryanair decided to lose my bags. ---
**Author:** ![SpaceDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spacedog/32/9932_2.png) [@SpaceDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpaceDog)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2006, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pants-wetting-airline-passengers-doing-the-terrorists-job/369430/91 "2006-08-23T12:25:37Z")
From the article linked by **Rayne Man** : > [@](#): > > But lecturer Jo Schofield - travelling with husband Heath and daughter Isabel, 12 - tried to explain why panic gripped the 150 passengers on the flight. > > She said: “Everyone agreed the men looked dodgy. Some passengers were very panicky and in tears. There was a lot of talking about terrorists.” Now I know that’s just a snippet but I wish she’d been a bit more apologetic. The undertone I get from that is “Well it’s OK, 'cos we all agreed they looked a bit dodgy. Better safe than sorry, init.” Bollocks. If there’s a slippery slope anywhere it’s this mob mentality and the condoning (or not condemning) of it. How long until a mob or a couple of have-a-gos tackles a ‘dodgy’ character? Kudos to the boys for taking it so well and being level headed in that article. And for not threatening to sue everyone in sight. ---
**Author:** ![yojimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yojimbo/32/232_2.png) [@yojimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yojimbo)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2006, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pants-wetting-airline-passengers-doing-the-terrorists-job/369430/92 "2006-08-23T13:30:00Z")
[QUOTE=The Flying Dutchman] It wasn’t just the “colour of their skin”. They spoke in an incomprehensible language, overdressed, and scruffy looking. European airport security is not up to El Al standards… check Airplanes are a primary terrorist target…check Flight originates in Britain, a terrorist target…check Flight ends in Spain, a terrorist target…check Terrorist most likely an Arabic speaking man…check Suicide bombers require heavy clothing…check [/QUOTE] Someone coming back from Spain a bit worst for wear? A person on a plane traveling between countries not speaking English? Say it aint so. The two say they weren’t wearing heavy clothes > [@](#): > > The friends deny claims they were wearing heavy leather jackets which aroused suspicion. They insist they merely had on light windcheaters, T-shirts and jeans. [http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/tm\_objectid=17607948%26method=full%26siteid=94762%26headline=exclusive--malaga-jet-mutiny-pair-s-shock-at-plane-ejection-name\_page.html](http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/tm_objectid=17607948%26method=full%26siteid=94762%26headline=exclusive%2d%2dmalaga%2djet%2dmutiny%2dpair%2ds%2dshock%2dat%2dplane%2dejection-name_page.html) They were coming home from a holiday like a lot of Brits. > [@](#): > > The fun-loving pair visited the Spanish resort for a quick recce ahead of a proper holiday later in the year. > > They are so far removed from extremism that they even spent the day boozing and tucking into a McDonald’s burger. > > Khurram admitted: “As Muslims we are not supposed to drink alcohol, but we did have a few.” > > Yet as they waited aboard the jet to fly home they had little inkling of the ordeal to follow. Fellow passengers claimed they were acting suspiciously and some grew so hysterical they burst into tears. > > Yet the students had no idea they were suspected of being suicide bombers until security officials told them after they had been marched off at gunpoint. > > Khurram said: "We just didn’t twig. Why would we? Then we heard a child crying. I looked around and there was a girl of about 12 looking at me, pointing and crying. > > “Her parents were putting their arms around her protectively and staring at us.” The people on the plane were moronic fucking gobshites. The kind of people who buy the same kinda of bollocks you seem to. Yes there are dangers in this world but there has been for a long time. Governments are ramping up the fear and the press are helping. > [@](#): > > To get back to the EL Al situation. No people have been terrorized like the Israelis, but you don’t hear them freaking out when boarding El Al. That is because they take terrorism seriously and fucking deal with it. Your pitting should be directed at western governments that take security measures in a half assed fashion. There was **no** danger on the plane. Only morons. ---
**Author:** ![Rayne\_Man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/df705f/32.png) [@Rayne\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rayne_Man)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2006, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pants-wetting-airline-passengers-doing-the-terrorists-job/369430/93 "2006-08-23T13:43:29Z")
If you read this [BBC article](http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/5276504.stm) you will see that the woman sitting next to the two was supposed to have overheard them saying “we have only 30 minutes to live”. But according to the _Mirror_ article they were speaking Urdu and that woman couldn’t understand what they were saying. So a false story gets the boys thrown off the plane. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2006, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pants-wetting-airline-passengers-doing-the-terrorists-job/369430/94 "2006-08-23T14:51:38Z")
[QUOTE=saoirse] And as thousands of comedians (including a few on this board) have pointed out, the only way to keep it from getting on a plane is to have everyone fly naked. As a rail travel enthusiast, I have no prblem with air travel becoming so inconvenient that only people abandon it, but others who fly regularly would disagree, I’m sure. [/QUOTE] Actually, the simple solution is to arm all the passengers as they get on the plane and then retrieve the weapons as they disembark. ---
**Author:** ![Rayne\_Man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/df705f/32.png) [@Rayne\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rayne_Man)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2006, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pants-wetting-airline-passengers-doing-the-terrorists-job/369430/95 "2006-08-23T14:55:17Z")
[QUOTE=Clothahump] Actually, the simple solution is to arm all the passengers as they get on the plane and then retrieve the weapons as they disembark. [/QUOTE] Arm them with what? Guns that will shoot holes in the plane’s fuselage? If this had been the case on the Malaga to Manchester flight I wonder how long before one of the ignorant chavs had opened fire? ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2006, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pants-wetting-airline-passengers-doing-the-terrorists-job/369430/96 "2006-08-23T15:21:47Z")
[QUOTE=Clothahump] Actually, the simple solution is to arm all the passengers as they get on the plane and then retrieve the weapons as they disembark. [/QUOTE] Heh. That’s funny. I bet no one would ever take a crap on a dessert cart again. ---
**Author:** ![yBeayf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/e274bd/32.png) [@yBeayf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yBeayf)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2006, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pants-wetting-airline-passengers-doing-the-terrorists-job/369430/97 "2006-08-23T15:22:08Z")
> [@](#): > > Arm them with what? Guns that will shoot holes in the plane’s fuselage? If this had been the case on the Malaga to Manchester flight I wonder how long before one of the ignorant chavs had opened fire? Tasers. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![yojimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yojimbo/32/232_2.png) [@yojimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yojimbo)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2006, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pants-wetting-airline-passengers-doing-the-terrorists-job/369430/98 "2006-08-23T15:25:47Z")
Nah, the Manc gobshites would just constantly tase each other for the craic and then sure the airline. Actually, that’s not a bad idea … ---
**Author:** ![Orbifold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/779978/32.png) [@Orbifold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orbifold)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2006, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pants-wetting-airline-passengers-doing-the-terrorists-job/369430/99 "2006-08-23T22:57:37Z")
[QUOTE=Clothahump] Actually, the simple solution is to arm all the passengers as they get on the plane and then retrieve the weapons as they disembark. [/QUOTE] “Oh my God they’re coming right at us!” BLAM BLAM BLAM… ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2006, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pants-wetting-airline-passengers-doing-the-terrorists-job/369430/100 "2006-08-24T13:31:53Z")
[QUOTE=yojimbo] Nah, the Manc gobshites would just constantly tase each other for the craic and then sure the airline. Actually, that’s not a bad idea .. [/QUOTE] You wouldn’t need an in-flight movie. And once you’re in the air, passengers could bet on who’ll be left standing when the plane lands. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pants-wetting-airline-passengers-doing-the-terrorists-job/369430.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pants-wetting-airline-passengers-doing-the-terrorists-job/369430.md?page=6)