# Panty Thief? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 22, 2011, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/panty-thief/572276 "2011-02-22T20:28:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/panty-thief/572276/21 "2011-02-22T23:31:59Z")
I would love to see how Sherlock Holmes would handle this. ---
**Author:** ![Fell\_through\_the\_Ice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a9adbd/32.png) [@Fell\_through\_the\_Ice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fell_through_the_Ice)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/panty-thief/572276/22 "2011-02-22T23:33:58Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Is there anyone who visits your house besides you and your SO? A neighbour/friend/family member/utility person/etc? I’d suspect the cleaning lady. Victoria’s Secret ain’t cheap. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2011, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/panty-thief/572276/23 "2011-02-23T00:11:13Z")
I might have missed something, but are you sure your boyfriend didn’t take them? ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2011, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/panty-thief/572276/24 "2011-02-23T01:09:31Z")
I have a friend whose place was broken into by the guy cutting a round circle out of a window glass, then reaching in and opening the door. All that was taken was panties, and the glass was set back in place. She only realized what had happened when the sun was shining in through the window and she saw a large handprint against the light, and then the cut glass. If you keep your underwear in a drawer, it’s unlikely your dogs are getting them. Walk in the house with a large Victoria’s Secret bag and then set up a motion sensor camera in your bedroom. ---
**Author:** ![BottledBlondJeanie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/0ea827/32.png) [@BottledBlondJeanie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BottledBlondJeanie)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2011, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/panty-thief/572276/25 "2011-02-23T01:28:49Z")
I’m in the house this week. **needscoffee** , I’m bringing home new pairs tomorrow in the pink striped bag. They’ll be put in my drawer, Then I am counting. I’m out of here on Friday, and no one is scheduled to be in the house for the next week. I’ll drop by late next week and recount. If there are any missing I am freaking out, and setting up the webcam. I trust the cleaning lady like my mom. She’s helped me for over 5 years and would have the opportunity to take better stuff than panties. My SO really doesn’t come to my house. I can’t even recall if he knows the new alarm code. He has ample panty pilfering available to him at his/our house, but those numbers stay relatively similar. And I just rechecked the dryer vent with my brush of doom and a flashlight–one sock, no panties. ---
**Author:** ![xoferew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/e9a140/32.png) [@xoferew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xoferew)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2011, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/panty-thief/572276/26 "2011-02-23T01:47:55Z")
If you mention to the cleaning lady your mystification about the panties and your intention to install hidden motion-detection cameras, while clearly not blaming her at all, and then the panties stop disappearing, you may have an answer and a solution without actually spying on or confronting her. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2011, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/panty-thief/572276/27 "2011-02-23T02:46:19Z")
Victoria’s Secret panties suck these days, anyway. Time was their cotton panties were the best around, but now they’re awful - sizing is inconsistent, there are seams that hurt, they ride up my ass, etc. Try Soma - I got a bunch from them and couldn’t be happier. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2011, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/panty-thief/572276/28 "2011-02-23T02:57:52Z")
The good news is that the police usually keep baskets full of panties for evidence when they catch low level sex offenders. The bad news is you are going to have one hell of a time convincing them they are yours based on your screen name. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2011, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/panty-thief/572276/29 "2011-02-23T03:08:18Z")
[Here’s the scary explanation.](http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1321764/Pilot-Colonel-Russell-Williams-broke-girls-bedrooms-steal-underwear.html) [Here’s the adorable explanation.](http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/punctuated-equilibrium/2011/feb/19/1) ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2011, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/panty-thief/572276/30 "2011-02-23T03:17:24Z")
> [@xoferew](#): > > If you mention to the cleaning lady your mystification about the panties and your intention to install hidden motion-detection cameras, while clearly not blaming her at all, and then the panties stop disappearing, you may have an answer and a solution without actually spying on or confronting her. That is a great suggestion. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2011, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/panty-thief/572276/31 "2011-02-23T04:43:08Z")
Hmmm… how to track panties… (What…?) Batteries go dead on anything that transmits fairly quickly and we’re talking a several week interval. Anything with a half life thats that trackable/ traceable by an electronic device would probably make your alt BR uninhabitable. The same with those bank-teller type dye-packs (although that pink-caked look on a culprits face would be priceless). Don’t they make powders that show up under black light? Folda pair, sprinkle, repeat…and close the drawer. Then mark on your calendar 10 days hence for an impromptu game of flashlight tag. 😉 Or go super low-tech old-school, **BBJ**. Maybe there’s a light scent which could be added to those undies (no, not that) which your dogs would bark at and/or follow? I could almost see you holding back a team of leashed bloodhounds through the neighboring hills, shot-gun at the ready, dogs a-beying… :eek: 😃 “What we have heah, boy, is a failya to respect mah silky undah-things…” ---
**Author:** ![Heyoka13](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Heyoka13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heyoka13)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2011, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/panty-thief/572276/32 "2011-02-23T05:03:09Z")
I live in a house of mysteries. My socks and underwear routinely vanish. I buy them in bulk at Costco now. No idea where they go. I never catch my housemates wearing them, and the washing machine plumbing and the dryer ductwork never plug up. Also, we have a slowly growing accumulation of weird stuff that nobody ever eats piling up in the pantry. For instance, canned clam chowder. I warmed up a can a while back(we have a pile of the stuff) and nobody would eat it. Nobody confesses to buying it either. Then where in the name of God does it come from? Maybe the socks and underwear are quantum mechanically transconfiguring themselves into canned goods? Maybe the OP should check the pantry? ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2011, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/panty-thief/572276/33 "2011-02-23T05:16:20Z")
**Heyoka** , maybe you have a [phrogger](http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=phrogging). ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2011, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/panty-thief/572276/34 "2011-02-23T05:17:51Z")
1. Collect underpants 2. …? 3. Profit ---
**Author:** ![Heyoka13](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Heyoka13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heyoka13)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2011, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/panty-thief/572276/35 "2011-02-23T05:35:07Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > **Heyoka** , maybe you have a [phrogger](http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=phrogging). Surreal that an uninvited guest would subsist on socks and underwear, and donate bizarro canned goods. I found several cans of creamed corn, everybody gags when I threaten to warm up a can at mealtime. We have a plethora of pickle varieties, I only eat hamburger chips, and NO ONE else here likes pickles at all. I sure as heck ain’t buying this crap. I think I am going to have a lawyer draw up an agreement for all of us to sign, and the gist of it will be anyone caught bringing something into the house that is weird that nobody likes will have in effect given their legal permission to not contest their commitment in the mental institution of my choice. And then I put a hidden camera in the pantry and get ready to have a spare bedroom again. ---
**Author:** ![Heyoka13](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Heyoka13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heyoka13)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2011, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/panty-thief/572276/36 "2011-02-23T05:36:38Z")
What kind of surveillance options can we come up for the OP? Night vision security cameras are getting cheaper all the time, but VCRs to record the footage conveniently are getting scarce . . . . ---
**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2011, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/panty-thief/572276/37 "2011-02-23T05:53:04Z")
You don’t happen to know anybody in your neighborhood by the name of [Arnold Layne](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQTFRq1hjtM&feature=related)? ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2011, 8:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/panty-thief/572276/38 "2011-02-23T08:10:14Z")
I would take steps to better secure my house when I’m not around. Also, this may have been asked, but does the cleaning lady ever let other people hang out with her while she’s cleaning your house? ---
**Author:** ![xoferew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/e9a140/32.png) [@xoferew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xoferew)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2011, 11:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/panty-thief/572276/39 "2011-02-23T11:02:37Z")
Yeah, it could be that a neighbor has learned that while the cleaning lady is there the house is unlocked, and if she is obviously running the noisy vaccuum, won’t hear someone sneak in and zip out with the panties. ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2011, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/panty-thief/572276/40 "2011-02-23T13:09:02Z")
Are you in Austin? My friend lives there and woke up to a panty burgler standing in her bedroom doorway last week. She screamed bloody murder and took off out the balcony. Later she found out two more apartments had been broken in to that night, both were single women and both weren’t home at the time (so they think he was waiting for the girls to leave before breaking in). The only thing they found amiss was their underwear drawers were dumped out, and most panties had been folded except for some pairs missing. If you are in Austin call the police, they have a running file on this guy and need all the reports they can get. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/panty-thief/572276.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/panty-thief/572276.md?page=3)