**Author:**  [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\
**Post date:** [May 17, 2012, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/paranoid-the-birds-are-plotting-against-us-against-us-alll-paranoid-newslink/622258/1 "2012-05-17T22:37:20Z")
Yes, those cute little tweetie-pies are out to get us!
The Turks think they are!
> **[Turkey villagers see Israeli spy in migratory bird](https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-18092775)**
>
> Villagers in south-eastern Turkey sound the alarm after mistaking a migratory bird - a common European bee-eater - for an Israeli spy.
> [@](#):
>
> A migratory bird has caused alarm in a village in south-eastern Turkey after locals mistook it for an Israeli spy.
>
> An official at the ministry told the BBC that it took some effort to persuade local police that the little bee-eater posed no threat to national security.
>
> At one point a counterterrorism unit became involved in the case.
And now, they’ve been assigned **code numbers**! And been trained in Escape & Evasion! Like the ones in Tokyo!
> **[Escaped penguin spotted in Tokyo Bay](https://www.digitalspy.com/fun/a382130/escaped-penguin-spotted-in-tokyo-bay-waters/)**
>
> Penguin that escaped from an aquarium two months ago has been found.
> [@](#):
>
> Escaped penguin spotted in Tokyo Bay waters
>
> The penguin, only known by the number 337, is likely surviving on small fish during the day and returning to shore to rest at night.
>
> To escape, 337 climbed up a rock wall 13 feet (4m) high and managed to get through a barbed wire fence.
337, International Bird Of Mystery!
There is only one way, one path, to stopping the Avian Mencae.
We must hold Thanksgiving early!
And pass the gravy, please…
---
**Author:**  [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\
**Post date:** [May 17, 2012, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/paranoid-the-birds-are-plotting-against-us-against-us-alll-paranoid-newslink/622258/2 "2012-05-17T22:41:08Z")
> [@](#):
>
> The penguin, only known by the number 337
“I am not a number! I am a penguin being!” \
---
**Author:**  [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\
**Post date:** [May 18, 2012, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/paranoid-the-birds-are-plotting-against-us-against-us-alll-paranoid-newslink/622258/3 "2012-05-18T21:54:42Z")
Somewhere, in a basement monitoring station in Greece, a high-five is happening.
---
**Author:**  [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\
**Post date:** [May 18, 2012, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/paranoid-the-birds-are-plotting-against-us-against-us-alll-paranoid-newslink/622258/4 "2012-05-18T21:57:47Z")
He is number 337 but who is number 1?
---
**Author:**  [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\
**Post date:** [May 18, 2012, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/paranoid-the-birds-are-plotting-against-us-against-us-alll-paranoid-newslink/622258/5 "2012-05-18T22:00:20Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#):
>
> Somewhere, in a basement monitoring station in Greece, a high-five is happening.
Greece cannot afford a high-five; make it a high-three.
---
**Author:**  [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\
**Post date:** [June 7, 2012, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/paranoid-the-birds-are-plotting-against-us-against-us-alll-paranoid-newslink/622258/6 "2012-06-07T05:33:46Z")
#337 is [back behind bars](http://www.globalpost.com/dispatches/globalpost-blogs/weird-wide-web/japan-escaped-penguin-337-caught-tokyo).
---
**Author:**  [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\
**Post date:** [June 7, 2012, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/paranoid-the-birds-are-plotting-against-us-against-us-alll-paranoid-newslink/622258/7 "2012-06-07T05:42:22Z")
> [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](#):
>
> **\ The Birds Are Plotting Against Us! Against Us ALLL\**
>
> Yes, those cute little tweetie-pies are out to get us!
Considering that we are building [flying cat cyborgs](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=654066) that seems a perfectly reasonable position for them to take.