# Pardon me, but I actually DO have that right (a System Admin rant)
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pardon-me-but-i-actually-do-have-that-right-a-system-admin-rant/271527
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [October 27, 2004, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pardon-me-but-i-actually-do-have-that-right-a-system-admin-rant/271527 "2004-10-27T20:00:10Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)
#### Post date: [October 27, 2004, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pardon-me-but-i-actually-do-have-that-right-a-system-admin-rant/271527/1 "2004-10-27T20:00:10Z")
I’m a financial DBA at my company. One of my responsibilities is to act as the admin for the program my company uses to keep track of our finances. Our product is old and clunky, so it has several screens that only one user can access at a time. This usually causes me no end of frustration, due to trying to figure out which of our 10,000 employees across the continental U.S. is in the screen.
Today I get a call from our San Diego office. The guy needs to post some bills, but he hasn’t been able to get into the bill posting screen for over an hour. Would I please look into it?
It turns out that one of the billing supervisors went into the screen and left for lunch. I walk over to her desk and close the screen and call the guy up to tell him he can now access the screen. Problem solved.
Just now, the frigid bitch called me up to yell (actually yell) at me about how I have no right to do what I did. She only has one more invoice to post, and now she has to wait for some guy 3,000 miles away to get out of the screen. She knows that only one person at a time can access that screen, so by leaving for lunch when she did she was causing a whole bunch of trouble.
This evil bitch actually screams at me over the phone. “You have no right to do that! I was saving the screen so I could do it when I got back!”
I ask her, “If you only had one more invoice to post, why didn’t you finish it up before you went to lunch?”
Her response? “Don’t you _ **EVER** _ enter my office again without me there!” She then slams the phone down.
Okay, listen you evil, sour, cunt from hell, and listen good. I am the system administrator for the program in question. I have to keep the program working for EVERYONE, not just you. You were holding up another person from doing his job. I fixed the problem. You don’t just log into the screen and walk away. You know that, and have been told that countless times.
I will go into your office whenever my job requires it. See, I have a skeleton key to every office in this building, just in case I have to get into someone’s office without them being there. Why did they give me that key?
_ **SO I COULD DO MY FUCKING JOB YOU FUCKING WHORE!!** _
And don’t ever raise your voice to me again. Ever.
---
### Author:  [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)
#### Post date: [October 27, 2004, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pardon-me-but-i-actually-do-have-that-right-a-system-admin-rant/271527/2 "2004-10-27T20:17:10Z")
IT admin here. Same shit. Listen whore, you don’t own the office, you don’t own the door, you don’t own the lock, and you better damn well believe you don’t own the computer. The company owns all that. The company tells me that it my responsibility to keep things working. And if I need to use a company door, a company lock, and a company computer to do it, you can garantee that I will.
Have you had a chat with her supervisor yet? I love the apologies when they are…_corrected_.
---
### Author:  [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)
#### Post date: [October 27, 2004, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pardon-me-but-i-actually-do-have-that-right-a-system-admin-rant/271527/3 "2004-10-27T20:36:29Z")
Ah, yes. In my office its the rogue DHCP server. “We just set up that Linux box, we didn’t realize it was handing out IP addresses!” Well, thanks, in addition to wasting several hours of my time, you’ve also kept several hundred people from working while we tracked you down to kill you.
But it sounds to me like she knows you are right. If she thought she could keep you out of the office, she’d complain to her (or your) manager. Since she is just yelling at you, she knows she doesn’t have a leg to stand on, and in fact, you have a valid complaint with her manager about her tying up the system, causing you work, impacting the availability for other users…
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### Author:  [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)
#### Post date: [October 27, 2004, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pardon-me-but-i-actually-do-have-that-right-a-system-admin-rant/271527/4 "2004-10-27T21:02:11Z")
> [@Lord Ashtar](#):
>
> I’m a financial DBA at my company. One of my responsibilities is to act as the admin for the program my company uses to keep track of our finances. Our product is old and clunky, so it has several screens that only one user can access at a time. This usually causes me no end of frustration, due to trying to figure out which of our 10,000 employees across the continental U.S. is in the screen.
Egads! That’s an evil program. Does it not have auditing to track who is using it or the ability to kick sessions? Egad, I can’t imagine ten thousand users and that kind of system. We’ve got systems with 4-6k users and if they had those kinds of bottlenecks there would be hell to pay. Those systems would get replaced toot sweet.
> [@](#):
>
> Okay, listen you evil, sour, cunt from hell, and listen good. I am the system administrator for the program in question. I have to keep the program working for EVERYONE, not just you. You were holding up another person from doing his job. I fixed the problem. You don’t just log into the screen and walk away. You know that, and have been told that countless times.
Are your policies written down? Published? Drop her a copy of it and CC her supervisor/manager. Leave a little note to the effect of, “Pursuant to our conversation earlier today, here are the published guidelines for using Application X. Please note the provisions of only having Screen Y up during active data entry. Violation of these provisions may result in your session with Application X being shut down and any data you were currently entering being lost. Thank you, and have a pleasant day.”
> [@Dangerosa](#):
>
> Ah, yes. In my office its the rogue DHCP server. “We just set up that Linux box, we didn’t realize it was handing out IP addresses!” Well, thanks, in addition to wasting several hours of my time, you’ve also kept several hundred people from working while we tracked you down to kill you.
Heh, that happened here too. I laughed and laughed and laughed. The guy who set it up is one of those insufferable blowhards and it was nice to see him get his comeuppance from real sysadmins.
Enjoy,
Steven
---
### Author:  [@bughunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bughunter)
#### Post date: [October 27, 2004, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pardon-me-but-i-actually-do-have-that-right-a-system-admin-rant/271527/5 "2004-10-27T21:16:02Z")
There are several ways to manage this situation…
For instance, you could file a complaint against her with HR. But unless it’s a pattern that consitutes harassment that’s liable to go nowhere.
Or, you could convince the CTO to set a policy making such a behavior a punishable offense, sending her a clear but discreet message that she was indeed wrong.
But my favorite way to deal with the situation would be to recode that screen to introduce a 60-second delay on each record retrieved using that screen… for her and only for her. And during that delay, the screen closes and becomes available for any other user who wishes to use it.
That would serve her right. 😃
---
### Author:  [@Yeticus\_Rex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeticus_Rex)
#### Post date: [October 27, 2004, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pardon-me-but-i-actually-do-have-that-right-a-system-admin-rant/271527/6 "2004-10-27T21:25:25Z")
Can you change her password and notify her onscreen to contact you each time she needs to log on? Just to let her know her place in the food chain, so to speak…each and every time. You can call it the new “Time Managed Invoice Program”.
Otherwise, for a nominal fee (plus travel expenses), I can go to her office, pull down her pants/skirt, and bare-ass spank her…professionally of course. :rolleyes:
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### Author:  [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)
#### Post date: [October 27, 2004, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pardon-me-but-i-actually-do-have-that-right-a-system-admin-rant/271527/7 "2004-10-27T21:48:46Z")
Ai caramba.
When I was in the budget group, we shared access to our budget database. One user at a time, thank you.
I can’t tell you how many times this happened. Thankfully the guy who often was in it during his lunchbreak sat right next to me and I could boot him off myself. 🆒
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### Author:  [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)
#### Post date: [October 27, 2004, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pardon-me-but-i-actually-do-have-that-right-a-system-admin-rant/271527/8 "2004-10-27T21:50:13Z")
> [@Yeticus Rex](#):
>
> Otherwise, for a nominal fee (plus travel expenses), I can go to her office, pull down her pants/skirt, and bare-ass spank her…professionally of course. :rolleyes:
I can’t believe my eyes glazed over this the first time around. You sir, are wicked.
---
### Author:  [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)
#### Post date: [October 28, 2004, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pardon-me-but-i-actually-do-have-that-right-a-system-admin-rant/271527/9 "2004-10-28T13:59:19Z")
> [@Mtgman](#):
>
> Egads! That’s an evil program. Does it not have auditing to track who is using it or the ability to kick sessions? Egad, I can’t imagine ten thousand users and that kind of system. We’ve got systems with 4-6k users and if they had those kinds of bottlenecks there would be hell to pay. Those systems would get replaced toot sweet.
I can find out who’s in the screen with a simple SQL script. The problem is that nobody in this company ever answers their phone. They just log in and walk away like this lady did.
> [@bughunter](#):
>
> For instance, you could file a complaint against her with HR. But unless it’s a pattern that consitutes harassment that’s liable to go nowhere.
I prefer to stay out of HR. Don’t make waves and all that.
> [@Yeticus Rex](#):
>
> Can you change her password and notify her onscreen to contact you each time she needs to log on? Just to let her know her place in the food chain, so to speak…each and every time. You can call it the new “Time Managed Invoice Program”.
I’m not going to do anything against company policy or anything, but there are several ways I can make a user’s job more difficult, if the situation warrants. I can make her chase down higher ups for approvals if she wants me to do anything, for example.
Bottom line, you just do not fuck with the Sys Admin.
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### Author:  [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)
#### Post date: [October 28, 2004, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pardon-me-but-i-actually-do-have-that-right-a-system-admin-rant/271527/10 "2004-10-28T14:54:45Z")
> [@NurseCarmen](#):
>
> IT admin here.
Wow.
I really thught you were, you know, a _nurse_.
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### Author:  [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)
#### Post date: [October 28, 2004, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pardon-me-but-i-actually-do-have-that-right-a-system-admin-rant/271527/11 "2004-10-28T15:10:48Z")
Well that certainly blows. I know you want to stay out of HR, but perhaps you could inform her boss of the misconduct she threw your way. I also agree that sending her policy with her boss CC’d would be a good idea.
If that doesn’t work, sneak into her office with some fish. Split her chair in half, by lifting the top portion off. Put said fish in the chair and close it…Wait…
🙂
I’m kidding of course, and I believe that suggestion was in Maxim…
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### Author:  [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)
#### Post date: [October 28, 2004, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pardon-me-but-i-actually-do-have-that-right-a-system-admin-rant/271527/12 "2004-10-28T15:49:06Z")
Can you install VNC or something on her machine so that you can log in remotely and disconnect her that way? (if she hogs the thing while actually absent again, that is)
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### Author:  [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)
#### Post date: [October 28, 2004, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pardon-me-but-i-actually-do-have-that-right-a-system-admin-rant/271527/13 "2004-10-28T16:00:53Z")
> [@Elenia28](#):
>
> Wow.
>
> I really thught you were, you know, a _nurse_.
Heck. I’m not even a Carmen.
Yep. I’m a guy.
Hey Elenia…how _you_ doin?
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### Author:  [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)
#### Post date: [October 28, 2004, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pardon-me-but-i-actually-do-have-that-right-a-system-admin-rant/271527/14 "2004-10-28T16:11:15Z")
> [@Mangetout](#):
>
> Can you install VNC or something on her machine so that you can log in remotely and disconnect her that way? (if she hogs the thing while actually absent again, that is)
Yeah, I guess I could do that. Hadn’t crossed my mind. Good idea.
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### Author:  [@Yeticus\_Rex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeticus_Rex)
#### Post date: [October 28, 2004, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pardon-me-but-i-actually-do-have-that-right-a-system-admin-rant/271527/15 "2004-10-28T16:25:31Z")
> [@scout1222](#):
>
> I can’t believe my eyes glazed over this the first time around. You sir, are wicked.
Drastic problems require drastic measures. 😉
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### Author:  [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)
#### Post date: [October 28, 2004, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pardon-me-but-i-actually-do-have-that-right-a-system-admin-rant/271527/16 "2004-10-28T18:27:13Z")
> [@NurseCarmen](#):
>
> Heck. I’m not even a Carmen.
Damn, man, you have just blown _all_ my (mis)conceptions about you. It wasn’t way back when I found out you were a guy. Heck, lots of guys are nurses. But now I learn you aren’t a Nurse or even a Carmen?
I … I don’t know what to think. I’m shattered.
[Stones] shay-oo-bee [/Stones]
---
### Author:  [@lee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lee)
#### Post date: [October 28, 2004, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pardon-me-but-i-actually-do-have-that-right-a-system-admin-rant/271527/17 "2004-10-28T18:42:55Z")
I will not be yelled at at work. When this happened to me, the user (who was in HR) chose to do it in public, I went to my boss and told him that I would not be treated that way. Later that day she gave me a public apology. She was already my enemy, and I never had to listen to her tirade again. She is evil and has reduced many coworkers to tears, but she never raised her voice to me again.
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### Author:  [@Sean\_Factotum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sean_Factotum)
#### Post date: [October 28, 2004, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pardon-me-but-i-actually-do-have-that-right-a-system-admin-rant/271527/18 "2004-10-28T19:25:56Z")
> [@Mtgman](#):
>
> Are your policies written down? Published? Drop her a copy of it and CC her supervisor/manager. Leave a little note to the effect of, "Pursuant to our conversation earlier today, here are the published guidelines for using Application X.
And make sure you leave it in her office, on her desk, when she’s not there.
Hilarity will ensue.
---
### Author:  [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)
#### Post date: [October 28, 2004, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pardon-me-but-i-actually-do-have-that-right-a-system-admin-rant/271527/19 "2004-10-28T19:28:06Z")
> [@Sean Factotum](#):
>
> And make sure you leave it in her office, on her desk, when she’s not there.
> Hilarity will ensue.
An excellent idea, and one that shall be used.
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### Author:  [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)
#### Post date: [October 28, 2004, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pardon-me-but-i-actually-do-have-that-right-a-system-admin-rant/271527/20 "2004-10-28T20:10:04Z")
> [@Sean Factotum](#):
>
> And make sure you leave it in her office, on her desk, when she’s not there.
> Hilarity will ensue.
I don’t know. That seems a little passive-aggressive to me. **Lord Ashtar** doesn’t need to establish a hostile relationship with the lady. The less of those you’ve got in the workplace the lower your stress levels, at least in my experience. **Lord Ashtar** did nothing wrong and there is no need to take it to a personal level. A nice, professional, completely impersonal note with a simple reminder that usage guidelines will be enforced is all the situation seems to require. Plus it is kind of satisfying to meet irrational rage with a cold, impersonal wall of established procedure. The bitch has caused enough stress already. Paste the usage guidelines to your palm and let her talk to the hand. You’ve got better things to get grey hairs over.
Enjoy,
Steven
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