# Parenting advice about a picky eater... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 24, 2012, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parenting-advice-about-a-picky-eater/610501 "2012-01-24T15:01:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Sattua](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sattua/32/11906_2.png) [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2012, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parenting-advice-about-a-picky-eater/610501/81 "2012-01-26T19:45:26Z")
Aw. See, we love swiss chard. We grow it in our garden. My husband says its his favorite vegetable. I sautee it with garlic and balsamic vinegar, fwiw. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2012, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parenting-advice-about-a-picky-eater/610501/82 "2012-01-26T20:02:00Z")
I make delicious tacos out of it from that what’shisname Mexican cookbook - little bit of lard, steam the chard with beef broth, serve on tortillas with fried onions and queso fresca and homemade salsa. Mmm. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2012, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parenting-advice-about-a-picky-eater/610501/83 "2012-01-26T20:03:03Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > I think I hijacked the thread. > > Eating meals with suppliers, or customers, or clients is done all the time; I do it all the time. > > I would personally be embarrassed if I couldn’t eat what was being offered. Sounds like it’s just me then. I’ve never had to worry about it. > > Last week I was in Toronto and lunch was brought in. No one asked me what I wanted, and thankfully there wasn’t an issue. If there was, how would I have handled that tactfully? “Sorry, I can’t eat any of this. I’ll be back in an hour.” > > How is that not embarrassing? We had a consultant stay in our factory for a month; he was a vegetarian. Lunch was brought in every day and dinner would often be quite late even by local standards; often, late enough that it was best to also have it brought in. Javi and I were in the team he was working with; unlike everybody else in that team, we’d been pulled from the weekend shift. We had nothing to lose by offending anybody’s delicate sensibility so long as what we said wasn’t illegal - after all, it’s not like we could get a timeout in the weekend shift, we lived in it 😛 We suggested bringing homemade meals; we suggested speaking with a woman who had a “homestyle meals” deli and asking her to prepare vegetarian versions; we suggested vegetarian sandwhiches… but none of that was acceptable, the meals had to be brought in from the usual place, which means the guy was reduced to his choice of potato omelette or pizza margarita - and as Javi said, “good thing he eats egg and cheese! What would they have fed him if he hadn’t?” We were ashamed, but not for him - for our bosses, who weren’t able to find him better meals in a place famous for its vegetables. ETA: queso fresco. And you ladies are lucky my mother doesn’t read English, she can’t come here and get ideas! ---
**Author:** ![Moonlitherial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2012, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parenting-advice-about-a-picky-eater/610501/84 "2012-01-26T20:22:42Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > God I hope my daughter comes to this realization some day. My son was like your daughter for years. Restaurant order was always chicken fingers and fries and he was picky at home too. He wouldn’t eat tomatoes or any sauce including them with the exception of pizza sauce and ketchup. He ate few vegetables and no fish. It wasn’t until 2 years ago that he started trying new foods and now he eats everything. After the first few things he always thought he hated that he found he liked he has been actively seeking out new foods. During the year that he and his sister shared a house they ate a couple of times a week in the huge number of ethnic restaurants in Toronto - traveling around the city to find new things. A couple months ago I became the lone member of our family who won’t eat sushi. It’s an odd feeling, for years I was the adventurous one but they’ve all improved and I’ve stagnated. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2012, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parenting-advice-about-a-picky-eater/610501/85 "2012-01-26T20:23:47Z")
Whoops - I was so worried about getting it right that I got it wrong. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2012, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parenting-advice-about-a-picky-eater/610501/86 "2012-01-26T20:53:27Z")
**Sattua** , neither of my kids slept through the night until they were over eighteen months, even though they were on solids. They weren’t hungry, they were just frigging crummy sleepers. I’m glad yours sleeps through sometimes. Mr. Lissar went through a ten-year phase of mostly eating mac’n’cheese, toast, and chicken nuggets. He’s much better now, especially since he married me and I introduced him to a whole lot of ethnic cuisines. He is currently being karmically punished by our four-year-old, who has started a pretty picky phase, but is still cruelly forced to at least try things. ---
**Author:** ![lindsaybluth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90db22/32.png) [@lindsaybluth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lindsaybluth)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2012, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parenting-advice-about-a-picky-eater/610501/87 "2012-01-27T00:17:07Z")
This is slightly off the main gist of the OP but I thought a good thread to ask it in – is there anyone here who has\d a picky kid in spite of the fact that both they _and_ their spouse are not picky? Most kids I saw who were picky were conditioned to be AND one parent ate very limited foods. But my SO and I are bothy wide-ranging eaters, so I’m wondering what the chances are that we’d have a kid who was picky. ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2012, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parenting-advice-about-a-picky-eater/610501/88 "2012-01-27T00:55:19Z")
My husband and I are foodies, and our three-year-old won’t eat any vegetables at all, not even with the kid-friendly cheese sauce or ranch dressing. Last night she took two whole bites of a half-sour pickle at the restaurant we went to for dinner, and I was so happy. Thankfully, she likes most meats, some seafood, and fruit. ---
**Author:** ![ENugent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/4af34b/32.png) [@ENugent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ENugent)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2012, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parenting-advice-about-a-picky-eater/610501/89 "2012-01-27T01:24:22Z")
My husband and I both eat a wide variety of foods, and our daughter is moderately picky, but getting better (she’s almost 8). Our son is 3 1/2, and his food range is definitely narrowing right now - I think it’s the age. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2012, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parenting-advice-about-a-picky-eater/610501/90 "2012-01-27T01:32:10Z")
> [@lindsaybluth](#): > > This is slightly off the main gist of the OP but I thought a good thread to ask it in – is there anyone here who has\d a picky kid in spite of the fact that both they _and_ their spouse are not picky? > > Most kids I saw who were picky were conditioned to be AND one parent ate very limited foods. > > But my SO and I are bothy wide-ranging eaters, so I’m wondering what the chances are that we’d have a kid who was picky. Good question. My wife is picky. So, maybe there’s a genetic element. I don’t know. ---
**Author:** ![RaftPeople](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6f9a4e/32.png) [@RaftPeople](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RaftPeople)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2012, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parenting-advice-about-a-picky-eater/610501/91 "2012-01-27T01:38:03Z")
My 2 cents: Don’t worry about it. My oldest and youngest both had a pretty limited diet, specific things for each meal - we made sure there were some fruits and veggies. Pediatrician said not to worry, they will eat what they need when they need it. My kids are grown, healthy, not very picky eaters today - it all just naturally evolved to a normal late teen/adult diet ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2012, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parenting-advice-about-a-picky-eater/610501/92 "2012-01-27T02:10:15Z")
At that age and dropping weight, don’t stress about what she eats too much, just make sure she is eating - and something approximately balanced and not a diet of junk. My kids are twelve and thirteen. My daughter doesn’t like spicy foods, but they aren’t picky eaters (escargo, sushi, pad thai, fish, most vegetables, fruits). At that age they ate a lot of rice and peas and cubed hot dogs. ---
**Author:** ![Emmy2635](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/919ad9/32.png) [@Emmy2635](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emmy2635)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2012, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parenting-advice-about-a-picky-eater/610501/93 "2012-01-27T02:43:34Z")
Have you considered an oral sensory processing issue? A friend of mine has a child with almost those exact behaviors and he was finally diagnosed with it. Our pediatrician told us to never talk about food at the table. You put the food down in front of them and take it away when the meal is over. If they are hungry later you give it to them again with absolutely no discussion of food. The idea being that you just completely eliminate the power struggle. ---
**Author:** ![Sattua](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sattua/32/11906_2.png) [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2012, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parenting-advice-about-a-picky-eater/610501/94 "2012-01-27T03:16:21Z")
**Emmy2635** , I googled “oral sensory processing” and found some websites about it and other processing disorders that terrified me, as a parent… because so many of the symptoms of various disorders listed seem more like “being a unique person” than “having a disorder”. Is there no end to the things we’re supposed to worry about? I don’t think that Mimi has one though, because she displays a couple of symptoms of both the hyper and hypo sensitive version. She appreciates a wide variety of textures, temperatures, and intensity of flavors… her preferences just change all the time. Really I don’t think her eating is different from any other “food optional” baby (love that term, and yeah, she’s also “sleep optional”). I just wanted input on whether, given her dropping weight percentiles, I’d do better to get food into her now or to avoid picky eating later. She ate well today–she’s on a blue tear for feeding herself baby cereal. This pleases me because it’s nutritious, and I can mix it with cream and purees for extra nutrition. Only down side is the cleanup after meals… ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2012, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parenting-advice-about-a-picky-eater/610501/95 "2012-01-27T03:36:24Z")
> [@Sattua](#): > > She ate well today–she’s on a blue tear for feeding herself baby cereal. This pleases me because it’s nutritious, and I can mix it with cream and purees for extra nutrition. Only down side is the cleanup after meals… One trick is to gradually introduce new foods into foods she likes. So a little peach into the cereal, or even squash. Not enough that she’ll reject it as “different” just enough that she starts down that “20 times until she likes it” path. Kids are extraordinarily frustrating. For two years they’ll LOVE cheese, then suddenly, cheese is the devil. Or one day they love applesauce - you stock up - and they never eat it again. My kids didn’t like broccoli until they were old enough to “play giraffe” and eat little trees - they’ve never stopped liking it. And the younger they are, the worse it can be. This is NORMAL. We have had - since the kids were about four - a “peanut butter sandwich rule” - you can eat what we are having for dinner - or you can make yourself a peanut butter sandwich (and clean up after yourself). Mine seldom invoke it. Granted, at four the making and the cleaning up wasn’t great, but it kept dinnertime fights down, and I really don’t think kids should be forced to choke down beet salad simply because I like beets (my son does, my daughter doesn’t, my husband weighs in with my daughter and I can’t make her eat something he won’t). After all, most grownups - even those that aren’t picky eaters - will turn down some foods as not being to their taste. We also have a “popcorn as a snack” rule - not a lot of butter though. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2012, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parenting-advice-about-a-picky-eater/610501/96 "2012-01-27T03:48:09Z")
Wife’s advice, regarding dogs or kids: Short rations. Keep it up until they play nice. It takes more willpower than a dog or kid has to starve to death. Though, even then, Daughter was feeding what she didn’t like to a dog, which was pretending we didn’t see had crawled, snout-first, into the high chair. ---
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2012, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parenting-advice-about-a-picky-eater/610501/97 "2012-01-27T04:35:28Z")
> [@Sattua](#): > > **Emmy2635** , I googled “oral sensory processing” and found some websites about it and other processing disorders that terrified me, as a parent… because so many of the symptoms of various disorders listed seem more like “being a unique person” than “having a disorder”… A very astute observation. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2012, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parenting-advice-about-a-picky-eater/610501/98 "2012-01-27T05:45:11Z")
> [@lindsaybluth](#): > > This is slightly off the main gist of the OP but I thought a good thread to ask it in – is there anyone here who has\d a picky kid in spite of the fact that both they _and_ their spouse are not picky? Dad would eat anything which didn’t move (specially in his youth, hereby defined as “before turning 40”); Mom can take a while to accept a new ethnic cuisine but eventually she’ll eat anything. Littlebro, like I said, eats because it’s something he can’t avoid doing; he finds no pleasure in food and is the pickiest eater I know who isn’t so for medical reasons. When he was 3 we were on vacation in a place that back then produced about half the rice in Spain; the hotel included meals, but you didn’t pick, it was no-choices daily menu. So the first day, the waiter brings Mom’s paella, Littlebro looks at it and says in a voice which could have cut steel “is that the only option?” Waiter: “uh, yes” Littlebro, looking at the waiter: “bring mine without all that shite on it” Waiter: :eek: Mom, looking at Littebro: “do you think you could get the cook to make him some white rice? I know him, he can go without eating for days if the only option is ‘rice with shite on it’” Ever since, my family refers to white rice as “rice with no shite” and to any other variety as “rice with shite on it”. ---
**Author:** ![Weedy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/weedy/32/301_2.png) [@Weedy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weedy)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2012, 7:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parenting-advice-about-a-picky-eater/610501/99 "2012-01-27T07:31:52Z")
My youngest was a bit like that, too busy to eat, and fussy about what she did eat. The baby clinic nurse said that keeping her weight up was the most important thing, and to feed her what she liked. By the time she got to 2-3 years, she got much better about eating when she was hungry. She eats a fair range of things now (age 11) and is not particularly difficult to feed, but she does go off her food easily, and sometimes forgets to eat. The reason the nurses gave for weight being important is that if she got sick, and went off her food, she would have no reserves, as she was in the bottom 10% for weight, but bottom 40% for height. Some people said I should be stricter about feeding her only at mealtimes, and if she was hungry enough she’d eat. She didn’t, though. She just got cranky, and couldn’t sleep and was generally miserable. It seemed to take her a while (as in, a few years) to work out what hunger meant, and that food would alleviate it. Until that point, food had to be interesting, or tasty for her to eat, and there not be anything else around that was more interesting than food. Grazing was also really helpful. Don’t know if this rings any bells with you, but I would give her mostly what she wants to eat but keep trying some new things as well. ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2012, 7:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parenting-advice-about-a-picky-eater/610501/100 "2012-01-27T07:57:21Z")
I haven’t read the whole thread, but I did a combo of 2 and 3, mostly 3. I also give my kid a baby multi vitamin since his first birthday. Carefully read the labels to see if it is right for his age. He sees it as a candy treat. I also have the " fruit with TV just before bed" -tradition. When everybody sits down in front of the tv, I sit with them, with a plate with a a pear and an apple. I peel and remove the core and slice and give everybody a piece of fruit they can eat without even looking at it. Both my husband and my kid get a lot of fruit in this way. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parenting-advice-about-a-picky-eater/610501.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parenting-advice-about-a-picky-eater/610501.md?page=6)