Ok, person who was bullied as a kid checking in.
My parent’s advocated non-violent solutions too. My mom told me I was “born” a pacifist, and that she had to insist I stand up for myself against a bigger toddler. I was just old enough to walk. I just took getting beaten with a stick, and did nothing to defend myself. That encounter ended one day when I got a stick (smaller than the one being used on me) and hit the girl back. She layed me out, and I refused to go near her again.
Fast forward to kindergarten. There was a girl in my class who had to repeat kindergarten. She was head and shoulders taller than me, and always had snot on her face, though her clothes were clean if faded. She was always picking on me, coloring red spots on my pale blue dresses and such. One day, I was waiting patiently in line at the drinking fountain after recess. There had been 3 people in line in front of me, and the first kid was taking a LONG drink. “Alice” asked me if she could have “cuts in line”. Knowing that the teacher had said not to give cuts, that this was a rule, (Mom taught me to obey the rules quietly) I said "No,but look there were 3 people in front of me when I got in line, and there are 3 people in front of you, I’m not very thirsty so I won’t be long. She called me a name I had never heard before, but I knew it was BAD. (Bitch) Without even thinking I made a fist, spun around to my left, and gave her a wicked right hook. It bloodied her nose. (Horrors!)
She got the teacher, who immediately got the prinicipal. I whispered the word the girl had called me after being promised I would not get in trouble for saying it to the teacher. They called my mother. I had to sit in the office. Mom later let me know that she had told them that they had better not dare to punish me without punishing “Alice” too. (It was the '70’s after all) So, I got no actual “punishment”,because they were unwilling to punish poor “Alice” since she was the “victim” and had the bloody nose. Believe me the office visit alone was enough deterrant. I began to double my temper control. I still have no idea why a word caused me to bloody someone’s nose to this day. The whole thing still deeply disturbs me, and I am still ashamed.
Fast forward to 2nd grade. There was a boy, “Joe” who delighted in threatening me, mocking me, and actually hurting me. He was bigger than me, and a year older too. (I was small for my age.) One day, he cornered me against the brick wall and told me he was going to punch me out. He cocked his fist back, and I ducked. He hit his fist full force on the serrated brick wall. He actually had the nerve to run to the playground teacher and tell her that “She MADE me hit my hand on the brick wall!” showing his bloodied knuckles and crying. The teacher asked me what had happened, and I told her the truth. He got detention for lying, and fighting too I think.
When he found out what had happened, my dad told me I had the right to defend myself against a physical attack, and not to be afraid to do it. Mom added that it should only be if I knew I had to do it to get away safely. Mom was proud, and so was he.
(Note, the names in these accounts have been changed.)
I think he got enough of a scare by being called into the office to give a report to the police. He may even have nightmares about it. (I did) If you think it might help him, print my accunts out, and let him read them, so he knows he’s not alone.
I’d reduce the sentence halfway, too. I’d also think of at least collecting copies of the incident reports, in case you do end up needing a restraining order. I’d also let the school administration have it good, for actually allowing mixed seating on the buses. WTF were they thinking?!! Of course something like this was bound to happen, and they also bear responsibility. They should have insured your child’s safety. Good luck, and Blessings on your family.