# Parenting tips and tricks **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 18, 2009, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parenting-tips-and-tricks/500183 "2009-06-18T15:36:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Avarie537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/48db29/32.png) [@Avarie537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avarie537)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2009, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parenting-tips-and-tricks/500183/61 "2009-06-23T00:57:43Z")
> [@Velma](#): > > We set up a system with my 4 year old where he gets ‘coins’ (little wooden circles he painted himself, but buttons or anything would do) that he can spend on screen time for the day. For example, he gets 4 coins each day that are equivalent to 15 min. screen time (in our house, that is computer, tv, or Wii.) He is allowed to use them all at once, or spread them out, or save them up for another day, etc. It is ending the ‘can I play Wii?’ fights since he has control over how / when he uses them, and he seems to accept that once the coins are gone, they are gone and doesn’t beg for more time. I think because it removes me as the bad person witholding the screen time and puts it in a different mindset for him - you need a coin to watch tv and you don’t have any more, sorry I can’t help you. > > It is also teaching him the concepts of using something all at once, or the pleasure of saving for later. I try not to coax him one way or the other as hard as it is sometimes when it is 10am and he has no more time left for the day. > > Once in a while I will give out extra coins for good behavior or a family movie night or something, or he will have one taken away for bad behavior. > > We have also used the coins in the past as rewards he earned for going to bed / doing the bedtime routine well. He saved them up in his treasure chest and when it was full he turned them in to buy a prize. So the coins have served our household well. I have a three year old who is going to learn about this very very soon! He’s really active, but also totally addicted to Noggin (we think he has ADD). Sometimes I don’t want to fight the fight, but this might work! Genius. ---
**Author:** ![Dottygumdrop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Dottygumdrop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dottygumdrop)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2009, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parenting-tips-and-tricks/500183/62 "2009-06-23T06:43:59Z")
> [@Kiber](#): > > Specific tip for passifiers: When we wanted to wean my oldest off her passy, we took her to the toy store and let her pick out a toy of her choice. Then - she “paid” for the toy with her passy. I let her hand it to the clerk and then, when my daughter wasn’t looking, handed the clerk a credit card. Worked like a charm. We did something similar with our daughter, but we took all the pacifiers to the doctor’s office with us, because Dr Jean needed them for the new babies in the hospital. In exchange for giving the pacifiers to the babies, the babies (aka Mummy, via Dr Jean) gave my daughter a new toy! For the first week after that, whenever my daughter would whine or cry for her pacifier, I just reminded her that the babies in the hospital had it now and she had her new toy! ---
**Author:** ![Butterscotch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dc4da7/32.png) [@Butterscotch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Butterscotch)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2009, 9:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parenting-tips-and-tricks/500183/63 "2009-06-23T09:26:20Z")
I know a mom who weaned her six children off pacifiers by telling them (in the year they turned 2) that they had to leave it for Father Christmas in exchange for their presents. Worked like a charm! ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2009, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parenting-tips-and-tricks/500183/64 "2009-06-23T14:41:04Z")
I thought our little girl was gonna graduate high school with her pacifier, but our trick worked: one day, not long after her second birthday, we just hid or tossed all the pacifiers, and told her that they broke. “You know how you’re two years old now? Your binkies were two years old, too, and they broke.” And amazingly, she just accepted that. It’s been over two months now, and she doesn’t even seem to miss them. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2009, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parenting-tips-and-tricks/500183/65 "2009-06-23T14:57:22Z")
> [@PandaMom](#): > > don’t get hung up on eating COOKED veggies. My son would never eat cooked mixed veggies, but when I served him a 1/2 cup’s worth of FROZEN veggies, he went crazy for the, and asked for MORE! Or you might have a kid like me, who eats cooked vegetables but not raw ones. Do be willing to be flexible on how you prepare foods, especially vegetables. Your kid may never like Brussels sprouts the way your mom used to make them, but might eat them if they are cooked differently (try cooking them for less time- that means no sulfurous smell or mushy texture). Don’t try to make your kid clean their plate. That teaches them to keep eating when they’re not hungry, and that’s not something anyone needs to learn in a first-world country today. ---
**Author:** ![Jumpbass](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jumpbass/32/147_2.png) [@Jumpbass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jumpbass)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2009, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parenting-tips-and-tricks/500183/66 "2009-06-23T16:44:59Z")
Having multiples of a security toy is a great plan. Our oldest daughter was given a plain cloth diaper as a “wubby” when she was an infant. They come in packs of five or so. Always a clean one, and if they get destroyed, go buy more! The best tip we ever got when we found out we were having twins was: put them on the same schedule. Naptime, mealtime, bathtime, whatever. If they’re on different schedules, you will never get that needed nap yourself or any time at all to get anything else done. They will adjust fairly quickly. ---
**Author:** ![flodnak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/838e76/32.png) [@flodnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flodnak)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2009, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parenting-tips-and-tricks/500183/67 "2009-06-23T18:01:38Z")
When a child has to take a medicine with an unpleasant taste, put a glass of koolaid/squash/bug juice in the freezer for ten minutes or so. Let the child take a few sips of the very cold, sweet drink, then quickly give the medicine. Then the kid can drain the glass. What you’re doing is temporarily freezing the taste buds so the kid won’t taste the yuck, and chasing it down to make sure every last bit of the taste is gone before the child’s tongue recovers. And then vow to ask before the pharmacy technician decides to add the licorice-caramel flavoring to the antibiotics next time. I only wish I was kidding. ---
**Author:** ![nofloyd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nofloyd/32/2870_2.png) [@nofloyd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nofloyd)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2009, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parenting-tips-and-tricks/500183/68 "2009-06-23T20:13:10Z")
> [@PandaMom](#): > > When my kids were 5-6, they started to get really picky about the food they would eat. So, we served the same things, but called them something else, and it became edible! Raw carrots? Who would want to eat those??? Now, What’s Up Doc Sticks… now THAT is appetizing!!! Eating a hot dog in a bun with your hands??? NO WAY! Cut the dog in the bun into sections, and have them eat them with toothpicks! (works with meatballs, and veggies – although trying to spear a pea can be a problem!) Baked beans are Cowboy Beans… etc. Got us through some difficult meals. Also, don’t get hung up on eating COOKED veggies. My son would never eat cooked mixed veggies, but when I served him a 1/2 cup’s worth of FROZEN veggies, he went crazy for the, and asked for MORE! I had a good run with … ‘chicken flower’ Mound corn in the center of a plate. Arrange the beloved chicken nuggets into a ring around the corn (petals), create stem and leaves with broccoli. ---
**Author:** ![ianjohnson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a3d4f5/32.png) [@ianjohnson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ianjohnson)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2009, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parenting-tips-and-tricks/500183/69 "2009-06-23T20:29:05Z")
If you are still expecting your first and are looking for a rocker, get one that reclines. When you are trying to get them back to sleep at 3:30, you will hate trying to keep your head up and wish you can just fall asleep with them. Swaddle blankets are a miracle. Remember the 5 "S"s- Swaddle, Shake, Suck, Shush, Side. Swaddle them tight in the blanket (learn the actual swaddle, not just a simple wrap) Shake - gently jiggle their head, or walk around Suck - give them a pacifier Sush - a strong SSSSHHHH in the ear Side - hold them on their side with their head cradled in your hand. These things remind a new baby of the womb and work really well to calm general fussiness in the first 9-12 months. Once you figure out that they aren’t hungry, hurt, or need changing, start working your way down the S’s and you will probably have them calm before you have applied all 5. Keep a change of clothes in the car for each child in case motion sickness strikes. If one throws up, you might need all of them if a sibling happens to be a sympathy puker. When a child is not obeying, I try not to escalate beyond the “Dad Voice”. When I feel like shouting, instead I get their undivided attention and tell them quietly that if they do that one more time/don’t do what I said, some consequence will happen that I am willing to follow through with immediately and without hesitation. If they make any attempt to test me, they will discover that I mean business. Don’t bluff, don’t threaten punishments that you don’t think you will have to follow through with. Don’t threaten punishments that affect the rest of the family, like “If you don’t shape up we will stay home and not do the fun thing we planned”. It’s not fair to the sibling that is being good. My wife kept making the “We can leave Disneyland and go home right now” threat (we are local and have annual passes), but as the little sister is getting older it’s become “If you disobey one more time you will have to sit out the next ride and watch everyone else have fun”. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2009, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parenting-tips-and-tricks/500183/70 "2009-06-23T20:39:52Z")
Dips are more fun for kids than foods with sauces. For kids who have texture issues with food, dips also mean the food isn’t sitting in the sauce and getting soggy. The Captain Cook reverse psychology technique might work on some others. The story goes that Captain Cook wanted to get his crew to eat sauerkraut to stave off scurvy, but they were not too hot on the idea. What he supposedly did was initially restrict the sauerkraut to the ships’ officers, and later made it available to the crew, who then ate it willingly. If your kid doesn’t like some food, tell them “it’s grown-up food”. That might make them more willing to try it again. Most kids love to show how grown up they are. It works for coffee and beer- very few kids like those when they try them at first, but most will eventually acquire a taste for them. ---
**Author:** ![MissTake](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misstake/32/3189_2.png) [@MissTake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissTake)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2009, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parenting-tips-and-tricks/500183/71 "2009-06-23T21:10:47Z")
When TheKid was maybe 7 or so, we created a chore list with appropriate pricing. If she did a listed chore, she would earn maybe $2/week. However, she also had debits. If I had to ask her twice in 10 minutes to do something, she lost money. If she was mouthy, she lost money. These were credits and debits she and I both agreed upon and were clearly listed on a piece of paper above a blank check register on our fridge. It worked well, for the most part. There were a few weeks where she owed me money. I disbanded it when things would slide until she found something she _really_ wanted and would try to coerce me into paying more: “Mom, I vaccuumed! Another .50c!” Child, you vaccuumed two hours ago, doesn’t count. “That’s not FAIR!” And my response to “That’s not fair!” has always been “Life’s not fair, highness, and anyone who tells otherwise is trying to sell you something”. For the food challenged: Have a day where you and your child go the the grocer and pick out whatever fruit/veggie piques your interest - the weirder the better. Then have a picnic. I was raised with a very limited palate, and did not want TheKid to have the same. We would try maybe 5-8 new things every few weeks, just for giggles. It was always a part of something bigger, such as going to the park to try new fruits, or curl up in the afternoon in our jammies to try new veggies. We _both_ had to at least try everything. Veggies would be (if possible) made a few different ways. It worked. Clean rooms: I used to nag TheKid to clean her room. Once every few months I would sweep though, demanding a spotless room. Then I looked at the rest of the house, saw the dust bunnies, the papers on the table… I quit. She cannot have food in her room, nor can she hoard glassware/cups. She must be able to close her bedroom door. I will not go in there for any reason, including laundry. When I’m doing laundry, you bring it to me. She relished having a pigsty until about two years ago (age 13). Now it’s cleaned every week. IOW, pick your battles. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2009, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parenting-tips-and-tricks/500183/72 "2009-06-23T23:16:06Z")
Remember, there are no guarantees. You can do everything right and still not have your kid turn out the way you want. You can do everything you’re supposed to do to create an adventurous eater, and the kid can still turn out as a picky eater. You can do everything possible to encourage neatness, and still have the kid end up a slob. You can do everything you can to encourage your child to follow your religion and have the kid grow up to convert to a different religion, or become an atheist. There’s absolutely no technique that’s guaranteed to make a kid turn out the way you want. You’re not in control of the outcome here. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parenting-tips-and-tricks/500183.md?page=3)