# Parents: a strange adult assaults your four-year-old. How tempted are you to react violently? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 28, 2015, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-a-strange-adult-assaults-your-four-year-old-how-tempted-are-you-to-react-violently/729192 "2015-08-28T18:06:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-a-strange-adult-assaults-your-four-year-old-how-tempted-are-you-to-react-violently/729192/41 "2015-08-29T06:30:55Z")
These sort of questions really make it obvious what different universes people live in, depending on their past experience. I would almost certainly, in that situation, be with the “protectors” - my first duty is to make my child safe. But assume that wasn’t the case. Assume my child has already run off and is being securely comforted by a family member. Assume that I’m furiously angry. Assume that I want to HURT this person. In that case … well, of COURSE I wouldn’t go for physical violence. Why pick a fight in my worst stat? It wouldn’t even begin to occur to me, if I wanted to hurt someone, that hitting them (or to be more precise ME hitting them) would be an effective method of doing so. I’m not much of a yeller either, mind you. But I think if I were sufficiently steamed I might be able to do someone damage with a tongue lashing. But I know, deep in my bones, that in a physical altercation between me and Other Person, then Other Person is the one who wins. This may not actually be _factually true_, but it doesn’t change the fact that I know it deep in my bones. The difference between “hit” and “don’t hit” is not necessarily in how angry you are. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-a-strange-adult-assaults-your-four-year-old-how-tempted-are-you-to-react-violently/729192/42 "2015-08-29T07:08:50Z")
Don’t have a child. Do have a wife. Put her in the child’s place, and dude who hit her better be bad enough to take me, because he’s gonna have to. ---
**Author:** ![JustinC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justinc/32/8083_2.png) [@JustinC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JustinC)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-a-strange-adult-assaults-your-four-year-old-how-tempted-are-you-to-react-violently/729192/43 "2015-08-29T07:19:38Z")
I’d run over as fast as possible, probably screamingly like a lunatic with his hair on fire, and scoop up the little toddler and comfort them with breathless, panicky words of comfort that actually made him/her feel worse. Then I’d shout at the individual who struck him/her, further worrying my child. The option of fighting some stranger who thinks it’s okay to hit a four-year-old seems justified but what if that stranger has family/gang members in the same park? ---
**Author:** ![pool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pool/32/4152_2.png) [@pool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pool)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-a-strange-adult-assaults-your-four-year-old-how-tempted-are-you-to-react-violently/729192/44 "2015-08-29T07:36:26Z")
Unless there’s some immediately obvious good reason for the slap like my kid was about to run in front of an oncoming car or for some bizarre reason my kid was about to stab another kid with scissors or something then the person who hit my kid is about to be in a world of hurt, man or woman makes no difference. I don’t care to go into specifics but a couple of years ago something somewhat similar did happen, not with a stranger but a family member and I basically battered them around the room like a sack of potatoes. Hasn’t the OP started a few threads with slight variations of this same theme, what’s the preoccupation with the subject? ---
**Author:** ![Lacunae\_Matata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lacunae\_Matata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lacunae_Matata)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 7:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-a-strange-adult-assaults-your-four-year-old-how-tempted-are-you-to-react-violently/729192/45 "2015-08-29T07:44:03Z")
If my child needs beating, I’ll handle it. If an adult stranger were to hit my child? My first instinct would be violence, but I’d call the police instead. I can’t hit as hard as the judicial system can.Unless it were to prevent that other adult from continuing to hit my child, I wouldn’t strike back myself, no matter how badly I wanted to. But I’d really, really want to! ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 9:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-a-strange-adult-assaults-your-four-year-old-how-tempted-are-you-to-react-violently/729192/46 "2015-08-29T09:26:55Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I’m sure you meant to say that you’d grab your baby, THEN get away… Yes? Yes, yes, of course. The reality is unless the guy is tiny, I’m not going to be winning any fist fights. ---
**Author:** ![BrightSunshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b3f665/32.png) [@BrightSunshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrightSunshine)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 11:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-a-strange-adult-assaults-your-four-year-old-how-tempted-are-you-to-react-violently/729192/47 "2015-08-29T11:23:43Z")
> [@Aspidistra](#): > > These sort of questions really make it obvious what different universes people live in, depending on their past experience. This is so true. As a parent to a soon-to-be four year old, my first to fifth reactions to this scenario is fear, not anger. Physically, I am no match for ~95% of adult non-elderly men, and well over half of adult non-elderly women. And a person who slaps a child would likely have far more practice with hitting people than I. So chances are that I will lose a fight. Since they have already shown that they are willing to hurt my kid, running away with the kid would be the far safer option. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-a-strange-adult-assaults-your-four-year-old-how-tempted-are-you-to-react-violently/729192/48 "2015-08-29T12:06:27Z")
I carry my lawyer’s business card in my wallet. I’ve never needed it before, but I assume I would in the OP’s scenario. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-a-strange-adult-assaults-your-four-year-old-how-tempted-are-you-to-react-violently/729192/49 "2015-08-29T13:39:03Z")
> [@China\_Guy](#): > > Is this a trick question? > > Assuming that this is an open and shut, slap, my kid crying, could only possibly the one adult, well then I only know of one way to make sure there isn’t a second violent assault on my child and that is to neutralize the perp so he isn’t a threat. Whatever that takes. I don’t do gotchas. The question is not about what you should do or would do; it’s about your impulses, and how high violence is among them. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-a-strange-adult-assaults-your-four-year-old-how-tempted-are-you-to-react-violently/729192/50 "2015-08-29T15:08:19Z")
My first and only impulse would be to neutralize the threat to my child. Quickly and violently if necessary. After that he/she can speak to the local constabulary. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-a-strange-adult-assaults-your-four-year-old-how-tempted-are-you-to-react-violently/729192/51 "2015-08-29T15:20:22Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > The OP does not specify the sex of the attacker, so your “more interesting question” mostly indicates a lack of attention to detail. > [@TriPolar](#): > > I would carefully and calmly beat him mercilessly. If it happened to be a woman attacking my child I would get the child away, then call my wife who would come over and beat her mercilessly. She wouldn’t be as calm and careful as I would. ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-a-strange-adult-assaults-your-four-year-old-how-tempted-are-you-to-react-violently/729192/52 "2015-08-29T16:11:28Z")
If I didn’t see the smack - I can’t be sure who did the smacking - charging in and attacking the individual that may, in fact, be comforting the now crying child over a smack like sound may not be the best, first approach. First step is to determine what actually happened, and then deal with it as appropriate. If, in fact, I see the smack - regarudless of wether or not the kid “needed” it - the other person will be answering not only to me, but to law enforcement (likely from a hospital bed). ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-a-strange-adult-assaults-your-four-year-old-how-tempted-are-you-to-react-violently/729192/53 "2015-08-29T17:08:25Z")
I don’t have children, but I know self-defense and I have a wicked tongue. That person would be extremely lucky if all I used was my tongue. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-a-strange-adult-assaults-your-four-year-old-how-tempted-are-you-to-react-violently/729192/54 "2015-08-29T17:31:10Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > That person would be extremely lucky if all I used was my tongue. And the trophy for showing self restraint goes to . . . **kayaker**!! ---
**Author:** ![Bone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bone/32/407_2.png) [@Bone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bone)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2015, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-a-strange-adult-assaults-your-four-year-old-how-tempted-are-you-to-react-violently/729192/55 "2015-08-30T04:49:05Z")
I’ve actually had something similar to this happen in real life though I was closer and saw events transpire. Suffice to say, I reacted quickly and physically. ---
**Author:** ![China\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@China\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/China_Guy)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2015, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-a-strange-adult-assaults-your-four-year-old-how-tempted-are-you-to-react-violently/729192/56 "2015-08-30T06:31:54Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I don’t do gotchas. The question is not about what you should do or would do; it’s about your impulses, and how high violence is among them. That was rhetorical tounge in check. Equation is pretty simple: threat becomes a non threat, then seconds later take care of my child. ---
**Author:** ![LH75](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lh75/32/4438_2.png) [@LH75](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LH75)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2015, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-a-strange-adult-assaults-your-four-year-old-how-tempted-are-you-to-react-violently/729192/57 "2015-08-30T11:56:32Z")
I will carry this a step further: My daughters are 34 and 37. A strange man slapping one of them will result in a confrontation with me that could very likely result in violence. ---
**Author:** ![LH75](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lh75/32/4438_2.png) [@LH75](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LH75)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2015, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-a-strange-adult-assaults-your-four-year-old-how-tempted-are-you-to-react-violently/729192/58 "2015-08-30T11:59:07Z")
Oddly enough, my last physical encounter (many years ago) started from a similar incident. A man was slapping his small child in a store. I intervened and told the guy to pick on someone his own size knowing full well that I would be the target. He chose…poorly. ---
**Author:** ![Fat2FitMama](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7cd45c/32.png) [@Fat2FitMama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fat2FitMama)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2015, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-a-strange-adult-assaults-your-four-year-old-how-tempted-are-you-to-react-violently/729192/59 "2015-08-30T13:09:16Z")
Oh I’d probably go all mama bear on that asshole. Because slapping my child is NOT an option, especially not for a stranger. Asking them to not do something because they need to share/it’s dangerous/whatever? Yeah sure. Go for it. But slapping and then screaming at my kid? No bueno, senor. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2015, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-a-strange-adult-assaults-your-four-year-old-how-tempted-are-you-to-react-violently/729192/60 "2015-08-30T15:14:28Z")
When our kids were four, my main concern would have been not getting between my wife and the guy who slapped our kid. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-a-strange-adult-assaults-your-four-year-old-how-tempted-are-you-to-react-violently/729192.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-a-strange-adult-assaults-your-four-year-old-how-tempted-are-you-to-react-violently/729192.md?page=4)