# Parents Don't Properly Punish Me-What Should I Do? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 23, 2011, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-dont-properly-punish-me-what-should-i-do/579436 "2011-04-23T03:58:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f04885/32.png) [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qin_Shi_Huangdi)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2011, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-dont-properly-punish-me-what-should-i-do/579436/1 "2011-04-23T03:58:45Z")
I feel that my parents don’t propery punish me enough, so what should I do? :(😕 ---
**Author:** ![heathen\_earthling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/13edae/32.png) [@heathen\_earthling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/heathen_earthling)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2011, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-dont-properly-punish-me-what-should-i-do/579436/2 "2011-04-23T04:00:26Z")
Punish you for what? ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2011, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-dont-properly-punish-me-what-should-i-do/579436/3 "2011-04-23T04:00:44Z")
You should appreciate your parents’ kindness and give them some credit for knowing what they are doing. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2011, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-dont-properly-punish-me-what-should-i-do/579436/4 "2011-04-23T04:04:33Z")
First of all, see if you can do chores or odd jobs around the neighborhood for some money. Save it up until you can afford to buy one of [these](http://gd.image-gmkt.com/mi/989/307/401307989.jpg). You can get one from an online sex shop. Then, whenever your parents fail to punish you you can flagellate yourself. Do this while quoting Deuteronomy 21:18-21 repeatedly. ---
**Author:** ![Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f04885/32.png) [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qin_Shi_Huangdi)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2011, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-dont-properly-punish-me-what-should-i-do/579436/5 "2011-04-23T04:07:22Z")
> [@heathen\_earthling](#): > > Punish you for what? [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=599969](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=599969) ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2011, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-dont-properly-punish-me-what-should-i-do/579436/6 "2011-04-23T04:08:06Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > Save it up until you can afford to buy one of [these](http://gd.image-gmkt.com/mi/989/307/401307989.jpg). You can get one from an online sex shop. Or a regular sex shop. Let’s not be limiting here; the OP might not have a credit card. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2011, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-dont-properly-punish-me-what-should-i-do/579436/7 "2011-04-23T04:12:05Z")
> [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](#): > > [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=599969](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=599969) Are you growing hair on your palms yet? ---
**Author:** ![Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f04885/32.png) [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qin_Shi_Huangdi)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2011, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-dont-properly-punish-me-what-should-i-do/579436/8 "2011-04-23T04:14:07Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Are you growing hair on your palms yet? Not for that but for the other thing I’ve happened to mention. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2011, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-dont-properly-punish-me-what-should-i-do/579436/9 "2011-04-23T04:15:59Z")
Wouldn’t it be more in keeping with your philosophical leanings to not leave punishment up to your parents in the first place? ---
**Author:** ![Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f04885/32.png) [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qin_Shi_Huangdi)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2011, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-dont-properly-punish-me-what-should-i-do/579436/10 "2011-04-23T04:16:30Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > You should appreciate your parents’ kindness and give them some credit for knowing what they are doing. Thank you for the comment. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2011, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-dont-properly-punish-me-what-should-i-do/579436/11 "2011-04-23T04:21:13Z")
I’m sorry, that was uncalled for, **Qin**. ---
**Author:** ![Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f04885/32.png) [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qin_Shi_Huangdi)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2011, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-dont-properly-punish-me-what-should-i-do/579436/12 "2011-04-23T04:22:27Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > I’m sorry, that was uncalled for, **Qin**. That’s alright. ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2011, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-dont-properly-punish-me-what-should-i-do/579436/13 "2011-04-23T04:22:52Z")
You might perform chores/deeds/acts you find boring/tedious/detestable. If you feel you need to make atonement: do so. Mow the lawn. Use the weed-eater. Mop the floor. Clean windows. Making yourself useful and taking some of the burden from your loved ones instead of flogging yourself. Help people. Commit acts of kindness. I guarantee you will reap more reward from kind acts than you will from flogging yourself. Eventually, you will gain control of your emotions and Act Right. Until then: make up for your mistakes and do chores for those who care for you. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2011, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-dont-properly-punish-me-what-should-i-do/579436/14 "2011-04-23T04:23:11Z")
If the point of the punishment is to correct behavior, then grow up and fix the behavior yourself. If the point is vengeance, then trust in their power of forgiveness. If you think you know how to properly punish a teenager, then wait until you’ve got teenagers of your own and implement your plan. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2011, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-dont-properly-punish-me-what-should-i-do/579436/15 "2011-04-23T04:26:38Z")
Sometimes I think you’re just too hard on yourself, **Qin**. Unless your parents are letting you run around wild, staying out all hours and NEVER disciplining you, I think you need to accept that they’re judgment. Have you ever had this talk with them? ---
**Author:** ![Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f04885/32.png) [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qin_Shi_Huangdi)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2011, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-dont-properly-punish-me-what-should-i-do/579436/16 "2011-04-23T04:31:28Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Sometimes I think you’re just too hard on yourself, **Qin**. Unless your parents are letting you run around wild, staying out all hours and NEVER disciplining you, I think you need to accept that they’re judgment. Actually they barely let me hang out outside at all, they almost always desire some sort of adult supervision over me. > [@](#): > > Have you ever had this talk with them? [/QUOTE] Yes, they don’t seem to actually remember this. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2011, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-dont-properly-punish-me-what-should-i-do/579436/17 "2011-04-23T04:33:33Z")
Your parents probably regard the behavioral issues you mention as being part of your Aspeberger’s (or at least think it _might_ be) and are uncomfortable about punishing it. The thing is, if you already know and understand that its inappropriate, then you don’t need punishment, you just need to stop doing it. If you _can’t_ stop doing it, then punishment is even more pointless. Do you find your parents emotionally responsive to you in general, or do you find them detached? It occurs to me that you might be subconsciously engaging in those behaviors specifically to try to provoke some kind of emotional response from them. The “burning with lust” thing is completely normal and natural, by the way. It isn’t wrong and everybody does it. Your dad does it. Your clergyman does it. President Obama does it. Jesus did it. It’s fine. ---
**Author:** ![chacoguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/50afbb/32.png) [@chacoguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chacoguy)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2011, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-dont-properly-punish-me-what-should-i-do/579436/18 "2011-04-23T04:39:30Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > The “burning with lust” thing is completely normal and natural, by the way. It isn’t wrong and everybody does it. Your dad does it. Your clergyman does it. President Obama does it. Jesus did it. It’s fine. You failed to mention that girls do too. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2011, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-dont-properly-punish-me-what-should-i-do/579436/19 "2011-04-23T04:40:31Z")
> [@chacoguy](#): > > You failed to mention that girls do too. I think girls are included in the set of “everybody”. ---
**Author:** ![chacoguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/50afbb/32.png) [@chacoguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chacoguy)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2011, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-dont-properly-punish-me-what-should-i-do/579436/20 "2011-04-23T04:44:20Z")
It seemed reasonable that girls get special mention. 🙂 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-dont-properly-punish-me-what-should-i-do/579436.md?page=2)