# Parents Don't Properly Punish Me-What Should I Do? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 23, 2011, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-dont-properly-punish-me-what-should-i-do/579436 "2011-04-23T03:58:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2011, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-dont-properly-punish-me-what-should-i-do/579436/61 "2011-04-27T03:26:54Z")
> [@China\_Guy](#): > > One observation is that you are often quite literal. Someone asks a question and you you give a succinct answer but devoid of backfill that might add some context. Isn’t that a common trait of Aspergers? ---
**Author:** ![Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f04885/32.png) [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qin_Shi_Huangdi)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2011, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-dont-properly-punish-me-what-should-i-do/579436/62 "2011-04-28T00:52:10Z")
> [@Alan\_Smithee](#): > > What did they say? Do they think you your behaviors don’t deserve punishment, that you can’t control them, that they punish you for them already, or are they unwilling or unable to mete out punishment? I think they basically didn’t want me to dwell on it and simply not do it on the future. > [@China\_Guy](#): > > Qin, maybe you’re overthinking and your parents do have a good handle on things. Or at least doing the best they can. I mean, you \*do \*have a lot going on what with Aspergers, puberty, raging hormones, a fundamentalist Christian upbringing and possibly community, not sure if you’re in a public high school or other education situation, how involved your parents are, etc. Just being 14 is nearly overwhelming for a lot of 14 year olds, and you have more than “just” that on your plate. > > One observation is that you are often quite literal. Someone asks a question and you you give a succinct answer but devoid of backfill that might add some context. I do go to a public high school BTW. But as for being literal, I don’t thing its really an Aspergers related problems-I get idioms and jokes for instance. I just prefer simple and blunt answers. ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2011, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-dont-properly-punish-me-what-should-i-do/579436/63 "2011-04-28T05:56:09Z")
So why do you want them to punish you? Is it like I speculated, that you want to change your behavior but need help? You feel like they don’t care? You feel guilty and want to “pay”? You think they have a moral/religious duty to punish you and they are too lax? What are your reasons? And whatever they are, did you explain them to your parents? What did they say? ---
**Author:** ![Nancarrow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c37758/32.png) [@Nancarrow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nancarrow)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2011, 11:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-dont-properly-punish-me-what-should-i-do/579436/64 "2011-04-28T11:01:14Z")
> [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](#): > > I feel that my parents don’t propery punish me enough, so what should I do? :(😕 Stop being so fucked up? Slightly more serious answer: there are plenty of websites out there where you can find ladies who will punish you however you like for a modest fee. Ask your parents if you can borrow the money, and be sure to explain carefully what you need it for. And let me know how it went. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2011, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-dont-properly-punish-me-what-should-i-do/579436/65 "2011-04-28T13:47:18Z")
> [@Alan\_Smithee](#): > > Unnecessary, perhaps, but not unhelpful, especially for a child, which **Qin** still is (barely, but a child nonetheless). He’s a child, sure, but I think once you’re old enough to recognize and articulate the need for “punishment”, you’re a moral agent responsible for your own actions. You have a very good point that we all benefit from accountability to others when we’re trying to change our behavior, though. ---
**Author:** ![pinguin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ac8455/32.png) [@pinguin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinguin)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2011, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-dont-properly-punish-me-what-should-i-do/579436/66 "2011-04-28T15:06:22Z")
Get a mother-in-law! ---
**Author:** ![KellyCriterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b3f665/32.png) [@KellyCriterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KellyCriterion)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2011, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-dont-properly-punish-me-what-should-i-do/579436/67 "2011-04-28T15:29:39Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > My daughter will be 32 in June. When she was a teen, _ **I usually revoked privileges** _ Yeah, my mum used this “tactic” on me as well. I’m convinced it’s the main reason I now, as an adult, don’t ever show much interest/excitement/anticipation for anything, having decided that if I do, people can use it against me. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2011, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-dont-properly-punish-me-what-should-i-do/579436/68 "2011-04-28T18:25:17Z")
> [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](#): > > I think they basically didn’t want me to dwell on it and simply not do it on the future. > > I do go to a public high school BTW. > > But as for being literal, I don’t thing its really an Aspergers related problems-I get idioms and jokes for instance. I just prefer simple and blunt answers. True, but if someone asks you a question, they often need more than a “simple and blunt answer”, you know? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f04885/32.png) [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qin_Shi_Huangdi)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2011, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-dont-properly-punish-me-what-should-i-do/579436/69 "2011-04-29T00:28:11Z")
> [@Alan\_Smithee](#): > > So why do you want them to punish you? Is it like I speculated, that you want to change your behavior but need help? You feel like they don’t care? You feel guilty and want to “pay”? You think they have a moral/religious duty to punish you and they are too lax? What are your reasons? > > And whatever they are, did you explain them to your parents? What did they say? A mix of most of those reasons, I think. As for your second question, I didn’t ask them in the sense of “Please punish me.” > [@Guinastasia](#): > > True, but if someone asks you a question, they often need more than a “simple and blunt answer”, you know? 😉 Yes, 'tis quite true,. 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-dont-properly-punish-me-what-should-i-do/579436.md?page=3)