# Parents: how did you handle the gimmes? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 10, 2010, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-how-did-you-handle-the-gimmes/553298 "2010-09-10T15:23:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2010, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-how-did-you-handle-the-gimmes/553298/81 "2010-09-12T18:46:35Z")
> [@Markxxx](#): > > Would he be old enough to understand this: > > Get someone to watch him and then, say “Sorry you can’t come with Mommy, 'cause of the tantrum you had, when you can assure me you can behave you can come with Mommy again. I’ll be back in a hour” Or something like that. > > Or is he not old enough to get that concept yet? Perhaps if he’s old enough to understand there are not only short term but long term consequences to his behaviour he’d get it. But I don’t know if he’s too young to understand that. I don’t think that would be a great idea. The underlying message is “I’m leaving you behind because you’re bad”, and I think it could have unintended consequences, such as anxiety when the child has to be left with a sitter for good, legitimate reasons, and anxiety that Mum may walk out any time the child is naughty. I might be wrong, but I think four is a little young for that. I think your friends have given you terrible advice, **overly verbose** , and you should keep in mind this incident any time those same parents try to give you other parenting advice. You now know what their advice is worth. I agree with pretty much everyone else in the thread, and I’m another who would have been a lot more brief in my explanations to the child. “No, we’re not buying that today” would have been explanation enough for me. My Mum told me once when my daughter was small that I needed to teach her that Mum always wins and while that advice is not perfect, I try to keep it in mind when we have confrontations. Sorry to the rest of you who would like to see the screaming child removed from the store but I find leaving to be an example of Mum not winning and, though I will wind it up as quickly as possible, I will finish my errand first. If I abandoned my shopping to drag her outside, I’d anticipate the natural reaction to be tantrums any time we’re some place she doesn’t want to be. ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2010, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-how-did-you-handle-the-gimmes/553298/82 "2010-09-12T18:48:35Z")
I think **elbows** said it perfectly. I have no nefarious plans related to the school buses. Just thanks for the clarification and use as carrots for continued clarity. I can be a tad dense sometimes, so I need all the help I can get. 🙂 And no fair comparing me to **norinew**. Like most Doper moms, she rocks! (I also hear she makes a mean batch of cookies, so if I get in good with her, I’m set.) ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2010, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-how-did-you-handle-the-gimmes/553298/83 "2010-09-12T19:30:58Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > And overlyverbose, you sound like a much better mom than norinew:p, who wouldn’t give me a school bus even if I earned it:dubious: Ah, no, you misrepresent what you said. You said > [@](#): > > If you buy me that school bus, I’ll do better in the future So, you are promising better behavior _in the future_ for a reward _now_. That is _not_ the way it works, my dear! 😉 > [@overlyverbose](#): > > And no fair comparing me to norinew. Like most Doper moms, she rocks! (I also hear she makes a mean batch of cookies, so if I get in good with her, I’m set.) Not to mention a not-sub-par rum and Coke. So yeah, by all means, get in good with me. I accept graft in the form of dark chocolate, microbrew beer, and of course, pie. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2010, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-how-did-you-handle-the-gimmes/553298/84 "2010-09-12T21:07:53Z")
> [@norinew](#): > > Ah, no, you misrepresent what you said. You said > > So, you are promising better behavior _in the future_ for a reward _now_. That is _not_ the way it works, my dear! 😉 But Mmmm-o-o-o-o-o-mmmm!!! Mrs. overlyverbose said I could have one!! ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2010, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-how-did-you-handle-the-gimmes/553298/85 "2010-09-12T23:03:12Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > > [@norinew](#): > > > > Ah, no, you misrepresent what you said. You said > > > > So, you are promising better behavior _in the future_ for a reward _now_. That is _not_ the way it works, my dear! 😉 > > But Mmmm-o-o-o-o-o-mmmm!!! Mrs. overlyverbose said I could have one!! Well, I don’t care _what_ Mrs. overlyverbose said. _I_ am the mother here, and what I say, goes! Now, who needs a time-out? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2010, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-how-did-you-handle-the-gimmes/553298/86 "2010-09-12T23:56:43Z")
> [@norinew](#): > > > [@TriPolar](#): > > > > But Mmmm-o-o-o-o-o-mmmm!!! Mrs. overlyverbose said I could have one!! > > Well, I don’t care _what_ Mrs. overlyverbose said. _I_ am the mother here, and what I say, goes! Now, who needs a time-out? 😛 Thus concludes tonights presentation on how to say ‘no’. Credits: Mom: norinew Brat: TriPolar Tritagonist: overlyverbose Fake Shemp: Joe Palma ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-how-did-you-handle-the-gimmes/553298/87 "2010-09-13T17:12:43Z")
Additional disclaimer: No toy school buses were stolen in the production of this drama. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-how-did-you-handle-the-gimmes/553298.md?page=4)