# Parents: How would you have handled this playground situation? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 12, 2015, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-how-would-you-have-handled-this-playground-situation/709654 "2015-01-12T21:46:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![delphica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9a140/32.png) [@delphica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/delphica)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2015, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-how-would-you-have-handled-this-playground-situation/709654/41 "2015-01-13T20:41:37Z")
Missed the edit window. I wanted to add that the moment another kid’s behavior TO ME is bratty, rude, or whiny, I have no problem going right to “HEY KID KNOCK IT OFF.” ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2015, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-how-would-you-have-handled-this-playground-situation/709654/42 "2015-01-13T20:56:08Z")
I think the other parent screwed up by not regulating his kid’s behavior, and I think the OP screwed up by not modeling good conflict resolution skills. ---
**Author:** ![TroutMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troutman/32/6721_2.png) [@TroutMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroutMan)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2015, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-how-would-you-have-handled-this-playground-situation/709654/43 "2015-01-13T21:24:02Z")
> [@Grotonian](#): > > Um, no, no one has argued that slides are always down-only. Is there any one of us who hasn’t climbed up a slide? The argument is that THAT slide had a down-only rule posted and the rules should be followed when the playground’s busy. Hmm, I wonder where I got that idea. Oh, right… > [@Grotonian](#): > > Also, every school-aged kid in this country knows slides are for sliding, ladders are for climbing. ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2015, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-how-would-you-have-handled-this-playground-situation/709654/44 "2015-01-13T21:44:56Z")
“Hey buddy, someone is trying to come down that slide. Hop down for me, okay?” ---
**Author:** ![Grotonian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c2a13f/32.png) [@Grotonian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grotonian)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2015, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-how-would-you-have-handled-this-playground-situation/709654/45 "2015-01-13T22:03:29Z")
> [@TroutMan](#): > > Hmm, I wonder where I got that idea. > > Oh, right… Well if that quotation was causing confusion on this thread, I’m glad to have cleared that up. (I also think swings are FOR swinging, but I don’t object to spinning in them if you can do it without kicking the kid next to you.) ---
**Author:** ![TroutMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troutman/32/6721_2.png) [@TroutMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroutMan)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2015, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-how-would-you-have-handled-this-playground-situation/709654/46 "2015-01-13T23:22:33Z")
> [@Grotonian](#): > > Well if that quotation was causing confusion on this thread, I’m glad to have cleared that up. (I also think swings are FOR swinging, but I don’t object to spinning in them if you can do it without kicking the kid next to you.) Well now you’re just talking crazy. You’ll puke all over if you spin around. (That’s one’s burned into my memory.) ---
**Author:** ![yellowjacketcoder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/4bbf92/32.png) [@yellowjacketcoder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yellowjacketcoder)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2015, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-how-would-you-have-handled-this-playground-situation/709654/47 "2015-01-14T00:39:10Z")
> [@you\_with\_the\_face](#): > > I think the other parent screwed up by not regulating his kid’s behavior, and I think the OP screwed up by not modeling good conflict resolution skills. Given that OP started this thread with the explicit goal of improving his conflict resolution skills with other parents, maybe some advice would be in order? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2015, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-how-would-you-have-handled-this-playground-situation/709654/48 "2015-01-14T01:56:09Z")
> [@Grotonian](#): > > So the “be polite” rule is no “rule” at all. Gotcha. What does this even mean? ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2015, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-how-would-you-have-handled-this-playground-situation/709654/49 "2015-01-14T02:34:54Z")
> [@Labrador\_Deceiver](#): > > “Hey buddy, someone is trying to come down that slide. Hop down for me, okay?” Thats pretty much how I would have said it. Most likely the kid would have waited because he didnt think or know anyone was coming down. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2015, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-how-would-you-have-handled-this-playground-situation/709654/50 "2015-01-14T02:53:29Z")
> [@yellowjacketcoder](#): > > Given that OP started this thread with the explicit goal of improving his conflict resolution skills with other parents, maybe some advice would be in order? 🙂 Starting by telling the other kid “hey, it isn’t safe to climb up the slide when someone is coming down - especially when the person coming down is so much littler than you.” Then if the kid continues - you can go harsher. Though most kids that age stop short when a strange adult corrects their behavior. However, my guess is that the parent who stepped in is one of those that takes offense whenever people parent other people’s children. Or talk to them. And whatever you said would have caused him to step over. Possibly with the urging of the not-bothering-to-parent-parent sitting on the bench. Which is why I’m not confrontational and prefer the “would you like to swing” approach. People get weird about their kids. Sometimes conflict resolution skills are avoiding the conflict to start with. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2015, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-how-would-you-have-handled-this-playground-situation/709654/51 "2015-01-14T04:16:07Z")
> [@TroutMan](#): > > You aren’t the Sheriff of the Playground. You can certainly correct behavior that has the potential to impact your son (“please don’t climb the slide while my son is trying to go down”) but I think it’s overstepping and being a busybody when you try to enforce the rules outside of that (“Slides aren’t for going up!”). You never climbed a slide as a kid? When I was about six, I encountered a kid coming up the slide I was going down (it was a spiral slide). I told him he wasn’t supposed to climb up in that direction; he called me “fucker,” and ran off. I’d never heard that word before, but I guessed it wasn’t intended as a compliment. I rolled that word around in my head for some three months or so before I decided to try it out on some kid in my neighborhood. I can tell you it wasn’t the first time HE had heard it. He ran and told his dad, who informed me that if I ever used it again, he’d knock my block off. 'Course, this was over fifty years ago, when the concept of “it takes a village” was actually in practice, at least in suburban America. ---
**Author:** ![GusNSpot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gusnspot/32/436_2.png) [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2015, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-how-would-you-have-handled-this-playground-situation/709654/52 "2015-01-14T05:54:08Z")
> [@Bone](#): > > If you are using your body as a physical barrier, what do you do when the kid at the bottom tries to circumvent your restriction? I think if you take that step unless you are willing to physically restrain the other kid then you aren’t able to follow through. Standing right at the edge of the opening. Beside it, or in front if need be if the slide was one I could hear my kid coming down. Standing at the bottom did not mean that I was blocking the exit. Maybe I could have been more clear. I also would not be right there until my kid was the one coming down if the kids going up were the only problem. Problems on the ladder going up would be a whole nother thang… I hope I would be paying that much attention or I might as well go home and not worry about it at all. And if you mean that a older kid might try to get past me & go up anyway? Bawahahahaha, yeah, right… Of course I am old now and I might need to watch out for a young grand kid. But I think I still just might be imposing enough to stop almost all kids that might be around a slide. ( Think big dirty old biker ) 😃 If they are old enough to think they are big enough make me let them through, then they are not ‘kids’ anymore IMO and they are really really dumb on top of that. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Grotonian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c2a13f/32.png) [@Grotonian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grotonian)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2015, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-how-would-you-have-handled-this-playground-situation/709654/53 "2015-01-14T12:48:24Z")
> [@bengangmo](#): > > What does this even mean? That when they break the “be polite” rule, “have at it.” ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2015, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-how-would-you-have-handled-this-playground-situation/709654/54 "2015-01-14T13:15:18Z")
> [@Grotonian](#): > > That when they break the “be polite” rule, “have at it.” sorry… I speak Kiwi…which is obviously a very different language to you:confused: ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2015, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-how-would-you-have-handled-this-playground-situation/709654/55 "2015-01-14T14:05:51Z")
> [@yellowjacketcoder](#): > > Given that OP started this thread with the explicit goal of improving his conflict resolution skills with other parents, maybe some advice would be in order? 🙂 You’re right; my initial response wasn’t all that helpful. I think your tone was too harsh with the kid. I could understand if he was being mean or hostile, but it sounds like he made the type of honest mistake that kids engaged in play tend to make. Kids are not naturally observant or self aware, and so a more compassionate approach was called for. “Hey kiddo! My son is about to use the slide and I don’t want him or you to get hurt. Come down and maybe play over there [pointing to the swings or something]? When we’re finished here, I will let you know, ok? Thanks, big guy.” A lot of conflicts can be prevented just by allowing someone to save face. The above response would’ve have spared the kid hurt feelings, allowed you to steer him to another area in the park, and would have likely not prompted inteference from the other parent. Your son will learn from you how to treat others. Empathy, temperance, and tact are things that must be taught, just like compliance with rules must be taught. ---
**Author:** ![Grotonian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c2a13f/32.png) [@Grotonian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grotonian)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2015, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-how-would-you-have-handled-this-playground-situation/709654/56 "2015-01-14T14:53:38Z")
> [@bengangmo](#): > > sorry… > > I speak Kiwi…which is obviously a very different language to you:confused: Does, “have at it” not mean, “go ahead” in New Zealand? Because that was my interpretation. ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2015, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-how-would-you-have-handled-this-playground-situation/709654/57 "2015-01-14T16:33:30Z")
I’d say you were way too harsh with Kid A. You’re a law and order “slides are for going down ONLY” kind of guy, but a lot of people aren’t. Climbing up slides is fun, it uses your muscles and balance in different ways, you learn what works and what doesn’t. It also requires consideration and cooperation when others want to use the equipment too. It’s a teaching moment, not of “follow the rigid rules set by the playground overlords” but of understanding the needs of others, how to play without harming the little ones. Free play is important, it gives kids a chance to learn things they won’t learn by just getting in line like the adults want you to. ---
**Author:** ![Cubsfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Cubsfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cubsfan)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2015, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-how-would-you-have-handled-this-playground-situation/709654/58 "2015-01-14T19:21:37Z")
Who cares how you told the kid to knock it off? Every moment in life isn’t a teaching moment. People are way too territorial about other adults disciplining their kids. It’s not like you punched him. I actually remember a crusty old dude, probably around 75yrs old, who threatened to shoot me and my cousins with his shotgun if we didn’t stop sledding on his hill. Ah, those were the days… ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2015, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-how-would-you-have-handled-this-playground-situation/709654/59 "2015-01-14T21:15:38Z")
> [@](#): > > Me: “Hey Kid, Knock it off! Slides aren’t for going up!” > Kid A leaves > Some Parent: “Hey, you don’t have to talk to kids that way!” > Me: “You want to do some parenting over here?”\*\* > SP walks over in a huff > SP: “First of all, that’s not my kid,” > **Me: “Wait, then why do you care?”** The point in bold also jumped out at me. “Why do you care?” Well, obviously SP cared because he/she thought you had hurt a kid’s feelings unnecessarily. Perhaps they have a “it takes a village” attitude and decided to speak up on those grounds. If my child had just been disrespected by an adult who has seemingly assumed the worse about his intentions (he’s breaking the rules!!!) rather than addressed him calmly and kindly, I’d rather witnesses intervene than sit there like bumps on a log. You probably feel like SP didn’t have that right, but that’s only because you don’t think you did anything wrong. But obviously he felt you did something wrong. For me, it’s hard to judge SP as a busybody bully, because they were more of a disinterested witness to your behavior than you are. ---
**Author:** ![AnaMen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@AnaMen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnaMen)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2015, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-how-would-you-have-handled-this-playground-situation/709654/60 "2015-01-14T21:23:09Z")
I care about kids besides my own being mistreated and I thought we were all supposed to. Definitely an odd question. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-how-would-you-have-handled-this-playground-situation/709654.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-how-would-you-have-handled-this-playground-situation/709654.md?page=4)