# Parents - if your children could attend any university **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 18, 2014, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-if-your-children-could-attend-any-university/707586 "2014-12-18T17:28:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2014, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-if-your-children-could-attend-any-university/707586/21 "2014-12-19T02:20:41Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > The thing is that, for the most part, the kids who spend hours working on their science fair entries or practicing violin do so because they love those things. Just like the boys who spend hours each week exercising and training for football do so because they love it. So they _are_ “pursuing their interests.” Exactly. And for those kids those types of schools match their interests. Had my kid been one of those kids who wanted to play piano endlessly - instead of being the kid who I had to nag to practice - or the one pursuing Science experiments as a hobby, I would have been all about finding her the support she needed - but she isn’t, and hasn’t been, and I’m no dragon mother. ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2014, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-if-your-children-could-attend-any-university/707586/22 "2014-12-19T05:37:44Z")
Stanford. It’s close and in an area of the state I like to visit. ---
**Author:** ![Double\_Foolscap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/85e7bf/32.png) [@Double\_Foolscap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Double_Foolscap)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2014, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-if-your-children-could-attend-any-university/707586/23 "2014-12-19T10:38:56Z")
Cambridge, for purely selfish reasons. I’d also like him/her to study what I studied, only be better at it, get a doctorate, teach there, and give me an excuse to always visit. Although in reality I’ll be happy if my hypothetical children make it to adulthood without any major trauma and end up doing some thing they find fun and rewarding. I’d just like my kid to be the third generation (on their mother’s side) of Cantabridgians because I don’t like change. ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2014, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-if-your-children-could-attend-any-university/707586/24 "2014-12-19T11:47:25Z")
If I actually had to commit now, I’d probably go with [Claremont College](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Claremont_Colleges), just because they have the structure of a small liberal arts school with the variety and prestige of a major school. And they generally take good kids, in my experience (with one glaring exception that I am still irritated about). ---
**Author:** ![freckafree](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freckafree/32/3050_2.png) [@freckafree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freckafree)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2014, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-if-your-children-could-attend-any-university/707586/25 "2014-12-19T11:58:02Z")
Since my son is majoring in Japanese, I guess I’d choose Kyoto University, as long as, along with your international airport, you’re covering the airfare to come back to the states several times per year. (In reality, he’s such a homebody, I can’t imagine him choosing an international university for four years. It’s going to be a big leap for him to spend a semester in Japan next academic year.) ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2014, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-if-your-children-could-attend-any-university/707586/26 "2014-12-19T12:00:05Z")
Cambridge. Excellent university, lovely city, and we’re thinking of moving there anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Ken001](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/43a26b/32.png) [@Ken001](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ken001)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2014, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-if-your-children-could-attend-any-university/707586/27 "2014-12-19T12:07:53Z")
Otago University, New Zealand. > **[University of Otago](https://www.otago.ac.nz/)** > > The University of Otago is ranked in the top 1% of universities in the world. Choose Otago for academic excellence and an outstanding student experience. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2014, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-if-your-children-could-attend-any-university/707586/28 "2014-12-19T15:08:03Z")
The college I Secretly want him to go to is listed there. Although it would be a challenge for him, he has the straight As and the activities to just make the cut and it has a great program in Exactly what he wants to do. He’d never get even close to enough financial aid for us to be able to afford it though. It hurts because I know that he’d do well there. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2014, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-if-your-children-could-attend-any-university/707586/29 "2014-12-19T15:18:04Z")
We took our 8yo on a tour of Princeton telling her that this was the college she was going to work for. We also told her that it wouldn’t be a big deal if she didn’t go to Princeton, but we wanted her to get in the habit of setting hard-but-attainable goals and working for them. Currently she’s in NJHS, takes 2 honors classes in 7th grade, has “A’s” in most of her classes, does about 200 hours of volunteer service a year (camp counselor, altar serving, food bank docent)… probably not Princeton-level work, but, if she continues, will get her into a quality school nonetheless. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2014, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-if-your-children-could-attend-any-university/707586/30 "2014-12-19T15:20:07Z")
> [@Count\_Blucher](#): > > The college I Secretly want him to go to is listed there. Although it would be a challenge for him, he has the straight As and the activities to just make the cut and it has a great program in Exactly what he wants to do. > He’d never get even close to enough financial aid for us to be able to afford it though. > > It hurts because I know that he’d do well there. You won’t know if he gets enough financial aid until he applies to the school, is accepted (a long shot for any of the schools on the list) and you apply for financial aid. The private schools in the US that are on the list have generous endowments and offer substantial financial aid. ---
**Author:** ![2ManyTacos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/2/3da27b/32.png) [@2ManyTacos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2ManyTacos)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2014, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-if-your-children-could-attend-any-university/707586/31 "2014-12-19T15:39:00Z")
I’m not a parent, but my younger sister is about to graduate from high school so she’s looking into all of this stuff right now. Out of that list, I chose UCLA, just because it was the school that **I** almost went to straight out of high school - I’d been accepted & everything - but it was just too Gawddamn’d expensive (being ~$35k for room/board at the time). I ended up going to junior college for three years & I currently attend a nearby CSU that nobody outside of southern CA has probably even heard of. In hindsight, it was probably the best move for me to not go to UCLA; I wanted to get into LA’s film school (which is more selective than Stanford Medical School & only admits students at the Junior level), so if that hadn’t have panned out I would’ve wound up as a college Junior with mountains of debt and tons of useless credits for a degree that I couldn’t attain anyway. Out of all schools, though, my top pick for my younger sibling is actually CalArts. She’s extremely artistic, & thankfully she listened to me by applying to that school this past fall. It’s still more unlikely than not that she ends up actually going there, given the mountains of cash it costs to attend the school in the first place; however, you never know what could happen. ---
**Author:** ![KCB615](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ea666f/32.png) [@KCB615](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KCB615)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2014, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-if-your-children-could-attend-any-university/707586/32 "2014-12-19T16:07:24Z")
The little KCB wants to be “a penguin doctor” when she grows up. I applaud her enthusiasm, but the kid’s got the brain of two engineers stuffed into her little head. Need something to hold up a book while you read? She’ll be back in a few minutes with a solution. Want to build a suspension bridge across the stair railings? She’ll take care of it (and not tell you before you come down said stairs). During the summer, builds rivers and drainage systems in the back yard. Knows how to operate a backhoe (you’re welcome). Kid’s a born and bread civil engineer. We still have over a decade to pick colleges, but she has Worcester Polytech or RPI written all over her. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2014, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-if-your-children-could-attend-any-university/707586/33 "2014-12-19T16:21:25Z")
St Olaf College. Or maybe another of the small midwestern colleges like it. I’ve been more impressed by their campuses and academics than I have any of the Ivy or even big name state schools. And the overall success of their graduates is high. ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2014, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-if-your-children-could-attend-any-university/707586/34 "2014-12-19T16:29:17Z")
> [@Count\_Blucher](#): > > The college I Secretly want him to go to is listed there. Although it would be a challenge for him, he has the straight As and the activities to just make the cut and it has a great program in Exactly what he wants to do. > He’d never get even close to enough financial aid for us to be able to afford it though. > > It hurts because I know that he’d do well there. 1. No one with merely straight As, test scores and activities can be confident about any of those schools any more; those plus really good essays, interviews and recs get you on the table, but after that, its a lottery. 2. You would not believe how good the financial aid can be if you do win that lottery. . .so he should apply. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2014, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-if-your-children-could-attend-any-university/707586/35 "2014-12-19T18:00:05Z")
Harvard I suppose. It’s typically one of the best schools in the US and I like Boston a lot more than New Haven, San Fran/Palo Alto or Princeton. > [@Voyager](#): > > I have two kids, and the answer would be different for each of them. > My oldest went to Chicago “Where fun goes to die” and where the dean and students gleefully noted that they wound up dead last in the list of party schools. Throwing a toga party would show that mean old dean a thing or two! > [@Dangerosa](#): > > I may be a horrible parent because I wouldn’t want my kids to end up at Harvard or Stanford or one of those schools. And it isn’t just sour grapes of not being able to get in. If we’d raised my daughter to try and get into a competitive school, she’d have a chance (except Julliard, she SUCKS at music) - we didn’t raise her that way though. The thing is that I’ve wanted my kids to be kids. To be able to get Bs and know that that’s OK. To be able to pursue their interests, even if they involve binge watching Doctor Who instead of working on their Science Fair entry or practicing violin. And that’s fine. Our kids will need someone else’s kids to work for them.😃 ---
**Author:** ![BetsQ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/fbc32d/32.png) [@BetsQ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BetsQ)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2014, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-if-your-children-could-attend-any-university/707586/36 "2014-12-19T18:02:12Z")
I voted Chicago, because the spouse and I went there and it needed a vote or two. However, I would never in a million years send kid #1 there. He would not enjoy anything but Off Off Campus (the improv group) and possibly Scavenger Hunt. I’m not sure what the right fit for him will be, but we’ll find it. #2 is a maybe for Chicago. She enjoys learning just for the sake of learning something new and I could see her turning into the sort of ambitious person who could benefit from a place like that. There’s a long way to go, though. Could the new airport be built in Lake Michigan, like Meigs Field? ---
**Author:** ![buddy431](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6a8cbe/32.png) [@buddy431](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddy431)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2014, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-if-your-children-could-attend-any-university/707586/37 "2014-12-19T18:29:32Z")
Like was mentioned earlier, there are a few jobs where there are really several schools that you pretty much have to go to. But other than that, there’s no need to go to a top 20 school or whatever, and (in my opinion), it’s much more important to go to a school that you will enjoy (and therefore do well at). And be able to afford, although I guess for this poll that’s taken away, but in my opinion it’s an extremely important part of choosing a school. I went to a state school to study a science, and I had gotten into places like MIT and Caltech. I don’t regret doing so for an instant. I did well in an environment where there were a lot of students, studying a lot of different things. Not everyone does well in such an environment. If my kids want to go to a school just to party, I won’t be super thrilled about it, but in general it’s not really my decision to make. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2014, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-if-your-children-could-attend-any-university/707586/38 "2014-12-19T20:22:59Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > Throwing a toga party would show that mean old dean a thing or two! They’d definitely throw a toga party. But you’d have to speak Latin at it. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2014, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-if-your-children-could-attend-any-university/707586/39 "2014-12-20T01:30:50Z")
> [@MandaJo](#): > > 1. No one with merely straight As, test scores and activities can be confident about any of those schools any more; those plus really good essays, interviews and recs get you on the table, but after that, its a lottery. > > 2. You would not believe how good the financial aid can be if you do win that lottery. . .so he should apply. He has applied to a number schools; actually as luck would have it, today he found he was accepted to one with a pretty decent scholarship. Popped a bottle of wine we’d been saving with dinner. We’ve looked into quite a few schools, driven him across America & have submitted that FAFSA form. The line “And the moon rose over an open field…” is awesome when your kid is crashed in the back seat, you’re drinking too much coffee, driving way too late at night, and you finally have a single reason to be thankful for that stupid XM radio. Also, he told me privately that when he was at their campus, he didn’t like it. That’s important too. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-if-your-children-could-attend-any-university/707586.md?page=1)