# Parents lose settlement due to daughter's Facebook. Legal? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 5, 2014, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-lose-settlement-due-to-daughters-facebook-legal/682886 "2014-03-05T01:20:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![andrewm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c57346/32.png) [@andrewm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andrewm)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2014, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-lose-settlement-due-to-daughters-facebook-legal/682886/21 "2014-03-05T14:18:17Z")
> [@Projammer](#): > > Unlikely. The settlement terms usually contain language against pursuing any further legal action related to the matter. Surely you’re no longer bound by the terms after you give the money back. There’s no more consideration, so no more contract. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2014, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-lose-settlement-due-to-daughters-facebook-legal/682886/22 "2014-03-05T14:59:32Z")
> [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](#): > > I do feel bad for the dad, I know I could never have kept such a secret from my teenager still living in my home. Knowing that, he should have either refused the offer or had a heart-to-heart with his daughter. ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2014, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-lose-settlement-due-to-daughters-facebook-legal/682886/23 "2014-03-05T15:06:41Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > Knowing that, he should have either refused the offer or had a heart-to-heart with his daughter. Yes, you would hope that spelling out to her that if ANY WORD of this gets out then no $80k and no whooping it up in Paris would get through to her. But then this is a teenager we’re talking about. ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2014, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-lose-settlement-due-to-daughters-facebook-legal/682886/24 "2014-03-05T15:40:11Z")
> [@Eliahna](#): > > If the father was forbidden to speak to her about it, could he even tell her not to talk about what she’d observed? You’d have to read the exact words of the agreement, but I’ll bet he was simply forbidden from disclosing the terms of the settlement. If so, then he would certainly be allowed to say “I’m sorry honey, I’m not allowed to disclose the terms of the settlement.” If he was smart he would also have told her not to say _anything_ to _anyone_ that even _hinted_ that she might have been told the terms of the settlement. ---
**Author:** ![Bill\_Door](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@Bill\_Door](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bill_Door)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2014, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-lose-settlement-due-to-daughters-facebook-legal/682886/25 "2014-03-05T16:06:50Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > (snip)I don’t envy the daughter. The ride home after the hearing must have sucked. In all fairness, that daughter has probably cost them 10 times that $80,000 already with plenty more to come. When it comes to kids, 80K is a drop in the bucket. It stings coming all at once though. ---
**Author:** ![ZenBeam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/3ab097/32.png) [@ZenBeam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZenBeam)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2014, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-lose-settlement-due-to-daughters-facebook-legal/682886/26 "2014-03-05T18:05:55Z")
From **thelurkinghorror** ’s link: > [@](#): > > 1. Confidentiality. . . [T]he plaintiff shall not either directly or indirectly, disclose, discuss or communicate to any entity or person, except his attorneys or other professional advisors or spouse any information whatsoever regarding the existence or terms of this Agreement. . . A breach . . .will result in disgorgement of the Plaintiffs portion of the settlement Payments. He wasn’t allowed to even acknowledge the existence of the agreement, so it didn’t matter if the daughter was told the amount. Also, it looks to me like the agreement is still in force, it’s just that “the Plaintiffs portion of the settlement Payments” won’t have to be paid. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2014, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-lose-settlement-due-to-daughters-facebook-legal/682886/27 "2014-03-05T20:31:49Z")
> [@ZenBeam](#): > > From **thelurkinghorror** ’s link: > He wasn’t allowed to even acknowledge the existence of the agreement, so it didn’t matter if the daughter was told the amount. > > Also, it looks to me like the agreement is still in force, it’s just that “the Plaintiffs portion of the settlement Payments” won’t have to be paid. How is that even enforceable, then? The daughter is going to know that they suddenly have more money, and that legal action has been withdrawn. There’s no way for the plaintiff not to indirectly acknowledge the agreement with someone living under his own roof and supported by his money. It sounds to me like this thing was set up so that they would fail. There’s just no way this sort of thing should be limited to one’s spouse instead of household. You can expect the daughter not to tell, but not for her not to know. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2014, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-lose-settlement-due-to-daughters-facebook-legal/682886/28 "2014-03-05T20:40:50Z")
> [@Bill\_Door](#): > > In all fairness, that daughter has probably cost them 10 times that $80,000 already with plenty more to come. When it comes to kids, 80K is a drop in the bucket. It stings coming all at once though. If I had been the girl, I would have pleaded with the judge to send me to jail. At least I would be spared the ass-whuppin’ waiting for me at home. ---
**Author:** ![Karen\_Lingel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/karen_lingel/32/18649_2.png) [@Karen\_Lingel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Karen_Lingel)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2014, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-lose-settlement-due-to-daughters-facebook-legal/682886/29 "2014-03-05T21:52:10Z")
> [@Eliahna](#): > > Daughter: Dad, how did the meeting with the lawyers go? Did we win? Dad: The matter is over, and I cannot discuss it. YOU cannot discuss it! You are not to say anything to your friends; you are to post nothing on Facebook. No Tweets, nothing! If anyone asks you anything about it you say ‘The matter is over and I cannot discuss it.’ Capiche? ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2014, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-lose-settlement-due-to-daughters-facebook-legal/682886/30 "2014-03-05T23:39:05Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > How is that even enforceable, then? The daughter is going to know that they suddenly have more money, and that legal action has been withdrawn. There’s no way for the plaintiff not to indirectly acknowledge the agreement with someone living under his own roof and supported by his money. First of all, how is she going to know her parents have more money? Does she have access to their financial records? Her dad is working at another headmaster job; it’s not like they were destitute and about ready to lose their house until a sudden windfall came into their lives and made itself really fucking obvious. Second, perhaps he could have discussed his concerns with his attorney beforehand and had “or offspring” written in. Alternately he could have claimed that his lawyer insists that he can’t talk about the case anymore, to anyone, ever ‘and that’s all behind us now, dear’ etc. etc. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-lose-settlement-due-to-daughters-facebook-legal/682886/31 "2014-03-06T01:38:36Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > Would it make a difference if it was the spouse who told the kid? No. With confidentiality agreements, you are obligated to make any party you share information aware of the confidentiality and bind them to the same agreement. If you do not feel they are able to keep the secret, you don’t tell them. > [@DataX](#): > > But in general - if you find out from other means - you aren’t bound. Some of the NDAs I’ve signed specifically mention this - some do not. However, this agreement would not have been binding on the daughter, so had she just guessed, it would not have been a problem. > [@Eliahna](#): > > If the Dad hadn’t admitted telling the daughter, would the following scenario still have cost him the settlement? > Daughter: Dad, how did the meeting with the lawyers go? Did we win? > Dad: Honey, I’m really sorry but I can’t discuss that with you. I know it’s been a stressful time, and that’s why your mother and I think the family could use a vacation. We were thinking of going to Europe this summer, and wondered if you had any input on places you’d like to see while we’re there. > \ No, it should not have cost him. > [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > Second, perhaps he could have discussed his concerns with his attorney beforehand and had “or offspring” written in. Alternately he could have claimed that his lawyer insists that he can’t talk about the case anymore, to anyone, ever ‘and that’s all behind us now, dear’ etc. etc. I wouldn’t have thought about my kid blabbing. This reminds me of when I was about 6 or 7 and my mother decided to switch dentists because she didn’t like him, but to finish out the round he was working on. There were five of us kids with lots of cavities, so there was a lot of work. Being six, then I go in and tell him I know a secret. He calls my mother and they didn’t do the final round. My mother was really pissed at me, but looking back, you simply don’t tell six-year-olds secrets. I am surprised that [del]if he told his daughter, he didn’t threaten her for 6:30 bedtimes until she was 35 if she told anyone.[/del] he told her. Kids are going to talk. ---
**Author:** ![chorpler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chorpler/32/2888_2.png) [@chorpler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chorpler)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-lose-settlement-due-to-daughters-facebook-legal/682886/32 "2014-03-06T02:36:39Z")
> [@Karen\_Lingel](#): > > Dad: The matter is over, and I cannot discuss it. YOU cannot discuss it! You are not to say anything to your friends; you are to post nothing on Facebook. No Tweets, nothing! If anyone asks you anything about it you say ‘The matter is over and I cannot discuss it.’ Capiche? In general, are you even allowed to say “the matter is over”? Or is that giving out information? ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-lose-settlement-due-to-daughters-facebook-legal/682886/33 "2014-03-06T05:34:25Z")
Let’s reverse it, say they cut the deal, and the institution told it’s accountant to cut the check, but the accountant said to themselves ‘I never liked that bitch’, and diverts the money to an untraceable charity. Suppose, further, that the institution _cannot_ come up with another 80k, should the father still have to keep his mouth shut, still protect the institution from embarrassment? ---
**Author:** ![epbrown01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ba0ec/32.png) [@epbrown01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/epbrown01)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-lose-settlement-due-to-daughters-facebook-legal/682886/34 "2014-03-06T07:12:38Z")
> [@Karen\_Lingel](#): > > Dad: The matter is over, and I cannot discuss it. YOU cannot discuss it! You are not to say anything to your friends; you are to post nothing on Facebook. No Tweets, nothing! If anyone asks you anything about it you say ‘The matter is over and I cannot discuss it.’ Capiche? In my experience, that merely leads to the gossip being prefaced with “Don’t tell anyone, but…” And when the leak is discovered, the explanation is “I only told \ and I told them not to say anything! How’s this **my** fault?” And for some reason, tech-savvy younger folks can’t grasp how public everything on the internet is, along with how untrustworthy their contemporaries are - no matter how often it’s demonstrated. ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 10:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-lose-settlement-due-to-daughters-facebook-legal/682886/35 "2014-03-06T10:33:29Z")
Ironically, I’m now dying of curiosity as to how the daughter and family is handling this, so NOW I want someone to spill. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-lose-settlement-due-to-daughters-facebook-legal/682886/36 "2014-03-06T11:20:18Z")
> [@TokyoBayer](#): > > No. With confidentiality agreements, you are obligated to make any party you share information aware of the confidentiality and bind them to the same agreement. If you do not feel they are able to keep the secret, you don’t tell them. No, per the agreement he voluntarily signed, he wasn’t allowed to tell \*anyone \*other than his spouse about the outcome of the case. Period. It didn’t say, “And if you DO tell anyone else, you have to get them to pinky swear that they won’t tell anyone else.” The second he divulged the outcome to his daughter, he was in violation of the agreement. Had she kept her mouth shut, the school would have never known he violated the agreement. But she didn’t, he’s in clear violation of the terms he agreed to, and now he has to forfeit the cash he was given in exchange for his silence. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-lose-settlement-due-to-daughters-facebook-legal/682886/37 "2014-03-06T13:00:39Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > First of all, how is she going to know her parents have more money? Does she have access to their financial records? Her dad is working at another headmaster job; it’s not like they were destitute and about ready to lose their house until a sudden windfall came into their lives and made itself really fucking obvious. I had no access to my parents’ financial records, but it was perfectly obvious to me whenever money came in. Mom’s one of those people who suffer from a certain allergy where holding money in their wallet makes their hands itch, know anyone like that? ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-lose-settlement-due-to-daughters-facebook-legal/682886/38 "2014-03-06T15:47:18Z")
Ranger Jeff’s Rules for Secret Keeping: A. Don’t tell anyone the secret you’re keeping. 2 - Don’t tell anyone you’re keeping a secret. In the service, you can get around 2 by stating “I’m sorry, Sir, that’s classified”. “Sorry, Sir, I can’t talk about that”, or “Sorry, you don’t have a ‘Need To Know’” and generally people will drop the topic. As for Dad in this case, all he should have told daughter is “The suit is over. We came to an agreement.” and nothing more. ---
**Author:** ![Death\_of\_Rats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a6a055/32.png) [@Death\_of\_Rats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Death_of_Rats)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-lose-settlement-due-to-daughters-facebook-legal/682886/39 "2014-03-06T16:44:20Z")
Actually, based on the wording that appeared in **thelurkinghorror** ’s link, even saying “We came to an agreement” would violate the agreement. He was not allow to even acknowledge the existence of the agreement, directly or indirectly, let alone it’s terms. His lawyer was a pure grade idiot to allow this wording into the settlement let alone allow his client to sign it. ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-lose-settlement-due-to-daughters-facebook-legal/682886/40 "2014-03-06T16:58:39Z")
> [@HubZilla](#): > > Basically, the guy won an age-discrimination lawsuit and were awarded an $80,000 lawsuit. Their teenager daughter then posted this on her public Facebook: > > [“Mama and Papa Snay won the case against Gulliver. Gulliver is now officially paying for my vacation to Europe this summer. SUCK IT.”](http://www.cnn.com/2014/03/02/us/facebook-post-costs-father/) > > Now, the school says they broke the confidentiality agreement and therefore does not have to pay the $80,000 settlement. > > Granted, the teenager is a brat and didn’t think too hard before posting. > > But is it really fair or legal to reverse a settlement over something your impulsive daughter did? Most of the articles I’ve seen online lambast the Facebooking daughter, but don’t go into the legality of whether a teenage daughter’s posting should erase a settlement. I have to imagine the parents had no idea she posted that at the time. Seems perfectly fair and legal to me, the confidentiality agreement is as much a part of the settlement as the 80k. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-lose-settlement-due-to-daughters-facebook-legal/682886.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-lose-settlement-due-to-daughters-facebook-legal/682886.md?page=3)