# Parents, was it harder to go from 0 to 1 child or 1 to 2? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 21, 2020, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-was-it-harder-to-go-from-0-to-1-child-or-1-to-2/928550 "2020-12-21T17:28:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2020, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-was-it-harder-to-go-from-0-to-1-child-or-1-to-2/928550/21 "2020-12-21T20:53:33Z")
Definitely 0 to 1 for us. Number 2 came when number 1 was almost 5 and a human being. Planned that way to avoid paying college tuition for two at the same time. 0 to 1 involves getting up in the middle of the night for feeding, being limited where you can go, and having to load up with baby stuff when you go out. The second was much less stressful since the first managed to survive. The first was “omg, the baby’s crying, should we go to her, what’s wrong,” versus number 2 “the baby’s crying. Big deal.” Number 2 was also easier, which helped. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2020, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-was-it-harder-to-go-from-0-to-1-child-or-1-to-2/928550/22 "2020-12-21T20:54:10Z")
Absolutely zero to one for me. We had the second child two years later, and that was a breeze compared to the first, where we were learning as we went. And after a little bit the second child and first child largely took care of each other. They are both very good at entertaining themselves. ---
**Author:** ![Andy\_L](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c67d28/32.png) [@Andy\_L](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Andy_L)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2020, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-was-it-harder-to-go-from-0-to-1-child-or-1-to-2/928550/23 "2020-12-21T20:55:11Z")
And now I see that Happy\_Lendervedder used the same clever metaphor I thought I was bringing to this thread. Sigh. ---
**Author:** ![BippityBoppityBoo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bippityboppityboo/32/5745_2.png) [@BippityBoppityBoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BippityBoppityBoo)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2020, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-was-it-harder-to-go-from-0-to-1-child-or-1-to-2/928550/24 "2020-12-21T21:12:47Z")
And I was suitably impressed with the both of you expressing what I tried to say so picturesquely and eloquently. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2020, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-was-it-harder-to-go-from-0-to-1-child-or-1-to-2/928550/25 "2020-12-21T21:43:57Z")
The transition from 0 to 1 was certainly big for us. From 1 to 2 wasn’t so much because the 2nd came so soon, we just kept doing some things with the younger one while moving on to new things with the older. But neither transition is much of anything, it’s over quickly, they’re still cute when they’re young and they haven’t started talking back yet. You are still left with a lot of years after either transition, that’s the hard part. ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2020, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-was-it-harder-to-go-from-0-to-1-child-or-1-to-2/928550/26 "2020-12-21T22:26:53Z")
I have heard from more than one person with a large family that 2 to 3 is the hardest and 3 to 4 the easiest. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2020, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-was-it-harder-to-go-from-0-to-1-child-or-1-to-2/928550/27 "2020-12-21T23:04:29Z")
I agree. 0-1 was by far harder than 1-2. We were lucky enough that ours are only about 2.5 years apart and are both boys, so we still had all the clothes and gear, as well as some experience as to what was useful and what wasn’t the first time around. 1-2 was more an exercise in how to juggle kids doing different things than it was a total lifestyle change. Which I think was easier in that you’re already used to not having the time you used to have, etc… while 0-1 means that you have to readjust your entire life around your children’s needs, especially when they’re younger than about 5. ---
**Author:** ![penultima\_thule](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penultima_thule/32/3833_2.png) [@penultima\_thule](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/penultima_thule)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2020, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-was-it-harder-to-go-from-0-to-1-child-or-1-to-2/928550/28 "2020-12-21T23:43:07Z")
> [@Dinsdale](#): > > IMO 0 to 1. > > But 2 to 3 was tougher than either. Now there’s somebody who knows their onions. First arrival you become a parent and realise you know bugger all about parenting. Even your own parents just give you tired, knowing smiles. 3rd arrival confirms that you still know bugger all about parenting … and you only have two hands. ---
**Author:** ![DemonTree](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demontree/32/8646_2.png) [@DemonTree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DemonTree)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2020, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-was-it-harder-to-go-from-0-to-1-child-or-1-to-2/928550/29 "2020-12-21T23:47:19Z")
> [@Dinsdale](#): > > A problem we had w/ 3 was that they seemed to always team up as 2 against 1. The alliances changed, but it always seemed like 1 kid was being left out. I could ask my parents since I’m one of three. We had the 2-against-1 shifting alliances thing for sure. > [@Andy\_L](#): > > And now I see that Happy\_Lendervedder used the same clever metaphor I thought I was bringing to this thread. Sigh Is this a baseball metaphor? I’m afraid I’m not familiar. ---
**Author:** ![Andy\_L](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c67d28/32.png) [@Andy\_L](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Andy_L)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2020, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-was-it-harder-to-go-from-0-to-1-child-or-1-to-2/928550/30 "2020-12-21T23:55:05Z")
Basketball - you can defend against the opposing team by having each one of your team guard one of the other team - or you can assign each of your team to a certain zone of the court. With two parents and three kids, you can’t have one-on-one coverage, so you have to go to “zone defense” (one parent keeping track of whichever kids are in the kitchen and one keeping track of whichever ones are up to mischief elsewhere, for example). ---
**Author:** ![BippityBoppityBoo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bippityboppityboo/32/5745_2.png) [@BippityBoppityBoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BippityBoppityBoo)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-was-it-harder-to-go-from-0-to-1-child-or-1-to-2/928550/31 "2020-12-22T00:17:02Z")
Both are also done in football, at least American football.🏈🏈🏈🏈🏈 ---
**Author:** ![Andy\_L](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c67d28/32.png) [@Andy\_L](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Andy_L)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-was-it-harder-to-go-from-0-to-1-child-or-1-to-2/928550/32 "2020-12-22T00:19:05Z")
You’ve detected the limits of my sports knowledge ---
**Author:** ![BippityBoppityBoo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bippityboppityboo/32/5745_2.png) [@BippityBoppityBoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BippityBoppityBoo)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-was-it-harder-to-go-from-0-to-1-child-or-1-to-2/928550/33 "2020-12-22T00:21:08Z")
And I have just exposed my own… ---
**Author:** ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-was-it-harder-to-go-from-0-to-1-child-or-1-to-2/928550/34 "2020-12-22T00:37:11Z")
The big surprise going from 1 to 2 (IME) was “ZOMG … I remember babies being _hard_. Babies are so easy! They just lie there and you do things with them when they need it! Now toddlers OTOH…” In other words, my workload had been ramping up infinitesimally over the previous 2 1/4 years and I never realised it until I had a new comparison point ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-was-it-harder-to-go-from-0-to-1-child-or-1-to-2/928550/35 "2020-12-22T01:11:27Z")
It doesn’t matter if you have a zone defense or cover them one on one, once they hit 2 years old they’re faster than you are and have more stamina too. ---
**Author:** ![Andy\_L](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c67d28/32.png) [@Andy\_L](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Andy_L)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-was-it-harder-to-go-from-0-to-1-child-or-1-to-2/928550/36 "2020-12-22T01:14:05Z")
That’s true. You think you are being smart by running them around in the afternoon so they’ll sleep well that night - but even if it works the first few times, you’re just building up their stamina… ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-was-it-harder-to-go-from-0-to-1-child-or-1-to-2/928550/37 "2020-12-22T01:32:00Z")
My second child turned out to be twins, so I went from 1 to 3. But in terms of how much your life changes, the first one is the real groundbreaker. After that, it’s mostly a problem of just having to do more, more often. ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-was-it-harder-to-go-from-0-to-1-child-or-1-to-2/928550/38 "2020-12-22T01:57:53Z")
I only have one, but looking back, I also think I would have been more willing to let a second baby chill. With one, I worried so much about everything, and felt really guilty if I were less than perfectly responsive. I feel like with a second I would have been a lot more flexible on ways that wouldn’t have hurt at all. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-was-it-harder-to-go-from-0-to-1-child-or-1-to-2/928550/39 "2020-12-22T02:11:37Z")
Ya want a challenge, be like a guy in my office and go from 0 to 3. Triplets outta the gate. That poor schmuck’s life is over. ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-was-it-harder-to-go-from-0-to-1-child-or-1-to-2/928550/40 "2020-12-22T04:07:20Z")
1 to 2 for me, and I did it twice. Both times child number 1 was easy. They slept well straight out of the gate. When they were asleep, we could sleep. On the other hand, both number two children were nightmares. Bad sleepers, bad feeders, tummy problems, etc. then later on they were more aggressive and had bigger tantrums in their twos and threes. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-was-it-harder-to-go-from-0-to-1-child-or-1-to-2/928550.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-was-it-harder-to-go-from-0-to-1-child-or-1-to-2/928550.md?page=3)