# Parents, was it harder to go from 0 to 1 child or 1 to 2? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 21, 2020, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-was-it-harder-to-go-from-0-to-1-child-or-1-to-2/928550 "2020-12-21T17:28:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Bear\_Nenno](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bear_nenno/32/3358_2.png) [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-was-it-harder-to-go-from-0-to-1-child-or-1-to-2/928550/61 "2020-12-22T17:56:06Z")
Going from 2 to 1 is probably the hardest. ---
**Author:** ![BippityBoppityBoo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bippityboppityboo/32/5745_2.png) [@BippityBoppityBoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BippityBoppityBoo)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-was-it-harder-to-go-from-0-to-1-child-or-1-to-2/928550/62 "2020-12-22T18:09:08Z")
Yes, this. Definitely. Thank you for bringing it up. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-was-it-harder-to-go-from-0-to-1-child-or-1-to-2/928550/63 "2020-12-22T18:18:15Z")
Going 0 to 1 was the bigger change but going from 1 to 2 was harder in my opinion. With 1 baby, we grabbed what we needed, got the baby ready and went. Usually we could still eat out as one kid was manageable. It often felt like when you got one kid ready, then the second one would get unready. Also if you went to a nice place to eat, 2 kids equaled being the noisy family that everyone else stares daggers at, so for several years its Friendlies and AppleBees for you. Two kids then get old enough to fight and tease each other. ---
**Author:** ![carrps](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carrps/32/2957_2.png) [@carrps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrps)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-was-it-harder-to-go-from-0-to-1-child-or-1-to-2/928550/64 "2020-12-22T19:26:27Z")
> [@Andy\_L](#): > > A high school friend of mine had three under three (not triplets, just three very close together) Yeah, my older sister didn’t turn 3 until four months after my younger sister was born. My brother didn’t arrive for 3 more years. ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-was-it-harder-to-go-from-0-to-1-child-or-1-to-2/928550/65 "2020-12-22T20:03:48Z")
Hands down, 0 to 1. I lost all sense of agency and ownership of my own body, any sense of personal space or myself for about 2 years. It never occurred to me until I had the second that the first probably hadn’t read all the baby books I’d read. Child #2 was hard for the guilt (suddenly I’m not self-actualizing kid #1 like the books say I should (note to self: read fewer childrearing books)), but child #2 was also a do-over kid, where I was suddenly physically incapable of being as neurotic and type A as I was with the first kid. ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-was-it-harder-to-go-from-0-to-1-child-or-1-to-2/928550/66 "2020-12-22T20:09:55Z")
> [@Dinsdale](#): > > But 2 to 3 was tougher than either. I stopped at one child, so can’t speak from experience, but just about everyone I’ve ever known who has had three or more children says that, so I tend to think it’s true for most people. ---
**Author:** ![Melbourne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Melbourne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melbourne)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-was-it-harder-to-go-from-0-to-1-child-or-1-to-2/928550/67 "2020-12-22T20:59:33Z")
> [@DemonTree](#): > > Oh right. Is this normal after abdominal surgery then? I’ll be pretty nervous if I have to have any if so. Is there anything doctors can do? Constipation, urinary retention? Sure. For minor surgery, better in a couple of hours, urinary catheter inserted while anesthetized when indicated, laxatives later when indicated, solid food withheld, chewing gum when fully conscious. Caused by anesthetics and by muscular spasm. Screaming all night? Only for some other reason. The only people I’ve ever heard of screaming at night were psychotic / demented (actually, seems to be fairly common – apparently hospitals are full of old people). When I’ve been hurt, I certainly don’t feel like screaming – and after appendicitis, it hurt when I moved or breathed. I don’t know what doctors can do: the fact that screaming at night with gas bloating is rare indicates that whatever they are doing, it mostly works. ---
**Author:** ![P-man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/p-man/32/3606_2.png) [@P-man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/P-man)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-was-it-harder-to-go-from-0-to-1-child-or-1-to-2/928550/68 "2020-12-22T21:27:48Z")
1 to 2 was harder, but only because number 2 didn’t sleep more than a couple hours at a time the first 2 years. He’s been easier as a teenager and young adult. Number one has struggled with college, although he’s getting it together a bit. Number 2 has killed it in college. ---
**Author:** ![K2500](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f6c823/32.png) [@K2500](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/K2500)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-was-it-harder-to-go-from-0-to-1-child-or-1-to-2/928550/69 "2020-12-22T23:58:31Z")
Can confirm. 0 to 1 was life changing. 1 to 2 was strategy changing. 2 to 3 was game changing. 3 to 4 saw the whole dynamic changed because the older ones can help and still want to. 4 to 5 was the same with a heavy dose of “meh, what’s one more”. Biggest transition over all was 0 to 1. If you include a change in the number of parents it starts to get harder 2/1 to 1/1 is hard 2/5 to 1/5 is something else. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2020, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-was-it-harder-to-go-from-0-to-1-child-or-1-to-2/928550/70 "2020-12-23T12:44:24Z")
> [@Hari\_Seldon](#): > > For example, the nurses in the hospital (where my wife spent 7 days) were absolutely obsessed with the idea that the baby’s skin make no contact with the mother’s. This is bizarre to me. What was their rationale? ---
**Author:** ![DemonTree](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demontree/32/8646_2.png) [@DemonTree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DemonTree)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2020, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-was-it-harder-to-go-from-0-to-1-child-or-1-to-2/928550/71 "2020-12-23T13:06:51Z")
Yeah, that’s very strange. Midwives here are all about encouraging ‘skin-to-skin’. Another complete reversal of recommended child-rearing practices. ---
**Author:** ![Jumpbass](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jumpbass/32/147_2.png) [@Jumpbass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jumpbass)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2020, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-was-it-harder-to-go-from-0-to-1-child-or-1-to-2/928550/72 "2020-12-23T15:20:01Z")
0 to 1 was tough for us, she was born with a pretty severe cleft lip and palate. First surgery at two months old, and a string of them plus orthodontia hell for two decades. However, I’d say that 1 to 3 was worse. Twins. Just what we needed as we entered our 40’s. We could just afford two kids, three was a hard stretch and _nobody_ got enough sleep. On top of that, we live in a small two bedroom house, so all three girls are jammed into one room. Thankfully, they all get along very well, especially now as the twins are approaching twenty years old. ---
**Author:** ![slalexan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@slalexan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slalexan)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2020, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-was-it-harder-to-go-from-0-to-1-child-or-1-to-2/928550/73 "2020-12-23T16:05:40Z")
Well, I am not sure. I have 1 child now. She is 6 years old. The transition from 0 to 1 was drastic. However, I am currently pregnant with our second child so, if all goes well, I’ll be able to tell you more about the transition from 1 to 2 in about 6 months time. ---
**Author:** ![DemonTree](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demontree/32/8646_2.png) [@DemonTree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DemonTree)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2020, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-was-it-harder-to-go-from-0-to-1-child-or-1-to-2/928550/74 "2020-12-23T16:17:25Z")
Congratulations! I hope everything goes well for you. ---
**Author:** ![Kimera757](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kimera757/32/3765_2.png) [@Kimera757](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimera757)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2020, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-was-it-harder-to-go-from-0-to-1-child-or-1-to-2/928550/75 "2020-12-23T16:54:03Z")
> [@Andy\_L](#): > > That’s true. You think you are being smart by running them around in the afternoon so they’ll sleep well that night - but even if it works the first few times, you’re just building up their stamina… People nearby are wondering why I’m almost crying with laughter. Beware! You’re increasing the little one’s power level! ---
**Author:** ![Andy\_L](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c67d28/32.png) [@Andy\_L](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Andy_L)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2020, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-was-it-harder-to-go-from-0-to-1-child-or-1-to-2/928550/76 "2020-12-23T17:07:31Z")
Glad to bring a little unexplained laughter to your life. ---
**Author:** ![janis\_and\_c0](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/janis_and_c0/32/21_2.png) [@janis\_and\_c0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/janis_and_c0)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2020, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-was-it-harder-to-go-from-0-to-1-child-or-1-to-2/928550/77 "2020-12-23T17:59:29Z")
When the first kid eats dirt, you panic and call the pediatrician. When the second kid eats dirt, you shrug and help rinse out their mouth. When the third kid eats dirt you wonder if you need to feed them lunch as well… ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2020, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-was-it-harder-to-go-from-0-to-1-child-or-1-to-2/928550/78 "2020-12-23T21:59:03Z")
This was in 1967 and I assume they were concerned with infection, although I don’t think they ever explained. Although my wife is fluent in French, she has almost no German and that’s what the nurses mostly spoke. ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2020, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-was-it-harder-to-go-from-0-to-1-child-or-1-to-2/928550/79 "2020-12-23T22:01:38Z")
Oh, my condolences. ---
**Author:** ![CookingWithGas](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cookingwithgas/32/485_2.png) [@CookingWithGas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CookingWithGas)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2020, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-was-it-harder-to-go-from-0-to-1-child-or-1-to-2/928550/80 "2020-12-26T17:43:38Z")
My kids are 2.5 years apart. When you have the first one, everything is all about the baby, you don’t know anything, and you freak out about everything. It is high joy/high stress. The second one is easier on the nerves, since you now know what the routine is going to be, but more challenging since you now have to take care of a new baby and also the other child. And when things defy routine, it’s a scramble. It’s like those performers that spin plates on the end of a stick. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-was-it-harder-to-go-from-0-to-1-child-or-1-to-2/928550.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-was-it-harder-to-go-from-0-to-1-child-or-1-to-2/928550.md?page=5)