# Parents What Do You Do About Your Kids And Porn **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 17, 2009, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-what-do-you-do-about-your-kids-and-porn/489729 "2009-03-17T07:24:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2009, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-what-do-you-do-about-your-kids-and-porn/489729/21 "2009-03-17T20:13:33Z")
Make sure they know they can talk to you without getting into trouble if something is going on online that they are uncomfortable with. You don’t want them hiding a bad online situation from you for fear of what you’d say or do, any more than you want them driving home from a party drunk because they don’t want to admit to you that they’ve been drinking. > [@davekhps](#): > > Smart kids will quickly figure out that they DON’T need one-- which opens up the whole other can of worms you mention RE: file sharing, piracy, surfing very bad forums, etc. Which they should know about before they go looking for porn that they can access without a credit card, so they know how to avoid trouble. Just like they should know about safe sex before they’re actually having sex. ---
**Author:** ![gurujulp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ba9def/32.png) [@gurujulp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gurujulp)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2009, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-what-do-you-do-about-your-kids-and-porn/489729/22 "2009-03-17T20:29:26Z")
> [@SHAKES](#): > > Once my kid becomes smart enough to bypass all my internet firewalls then he’s free to look at all the porn he want’s. The only thing I gave him a “speech” about was the trouble he (or I) could get into should he decide he wants to trade pics with a girl who is under age. (His smartassed response was “Well, duh, Dad.”:rolleyes: ) > I’m not sure I buy into the idea that porn can damage a young kid’s mind. > > My parents NEVER prevented me from watching R-rated movies at any age. My Dad kept Playboys in the bathroom unhidden. > > I’ve always been a big fan of the female form for as long as I can remember. But naked boobies were never really much of a wow factor for me as a child. Or at least not as much as it was for other kids. > [@flyboy](#): > > We’re very open with our daughters about sex. We haven’t come right out and dumped every possible thing at the older one (12), but we’re happy to answer any questions honestly and we let her know not to believe what she hears at school until she comes to us for the real story. I don’t think we’ve directly addressed porn, but I think she knows it exists on the web. > > She mostly plays games and does email online, and we sometimes will check the browsing history to make sure. I have no idea what she does at her friends’ houses. She’s just hitting puberty now, and some of her friends are right in the middle of it, so I know the topic is getting closer. When it pops up, I figure we’ll be honest with her and let her know it’s not happening in our house and that she shouldn’t be watching it with her friends. That will probably lead into the “But if you do see it…” discussion. There have been a couple instances where my daughter has found an inappropriate DVD in the dvd player- she just scolds me for leaving my ‘girl movies’ out and about and tells me not to watch them unless she is having a sleepover at someone else’s house, and to put them away before she gets home. There have been Suicide Girls books on the bookshelf for at least three years- hasn’t been an issue- she isn’t interested. Anyway- I expect that she already knows more at six and a half then I did at eleven, just from overhearing other kids on her school playground. Even in elementary school they talk pretty raw these days. Mixed with the fact that she has ‘Crazy Bitch’ by buckcherry and some Eminem on her ipod, and she’s got basic ideas. I draw the line at Geto Boys, however. That is a bit too explicit. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2009, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-what-do-you-do-about-your-kids-and-porn/489729/23 "2009-03-17T20:55:38Z")
> [@gurujulp](#): > > Anyway- I expect that she already knows more at six and a half then I did at eleven, just from overhearing other kids on her school playground. Even in elementary school they talk pretty raw these days. She may know some stuff that ain’t so, though. I heard the “gum stays in your stomach for seven years” story on the playground. I doubt the playground grapevine is any more of a trustworthy source of information on sex, computing, or law than it is on digestion. One example: A lot of kids think it’s OK to download music or share music online without the permission of the copyright owner. You can get in legal trouble for doing that. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2009, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-what-do-you-do-about-your-kids-and-porn/489729/24 "2009-03-17T21:26:49Z")
> [@Shirley\_Ujest](#): > > I’ve tried to impart to my kids that anyone doing porn has run out of options in their life. No, anyone NOT “doing” porn is limiting themselves. Anyone open minded enough to include porn among life’s many other pleasures is _increasing_ their options. It’s like the old saying, “Don’t use bad words. It just shows you have a limited vocabulary,” which was tried on me when I was young(-er). “No, since I have the same vocabulary as you do PLUS a few more that you won’t use, it shows that my vocabulary is _greater_ and more expressive than yours.” ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2009, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-what-do-you-do-about-your-kids-and-porn/489729/25 "2009-03-17T22:32:07Z")
> [@davekhps](#): > > So, you lied to them? 😉 Who pays for porn anymore? File-sharing is _very_ simple-- I can’t imagine a teenager eager for porn wouldn’t figure out BitTorrent, Rapidshare, etc. very quickly. I didn’t lie to them. This was about 10 years ago when the average porn site (at least the ones they found) had a “free section” featuring about six dozen popup windows, a page of links to other sites and JOIN NOW banners plastered over all the models’ genitalia. They’re in their 20’s now. If they’re paying for online porn it’s their own damn fault! ---
**Author:** ![shy\_guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a6a055/32.png) [@shy\_guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shy_guy)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2009, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-what-do-you-do-about-your-kids-and-porn/489729/26 "2009-03-17T22:32:13Z")
> [@davekhps](#): > > All true, which is why I zinged about the “you need a credit card for the hardcore stuff.” Smart kids will quickly figure out that they DON’T need one-- which opens up the whole other can of worms you mention RE: file sharing, piracy, surfing very bad forums, etc. No kidding. If my mom, when I was a teenager, had tried to tell me that I couldn’t access any kind of porn without a credit card, I don’t think I would have been able to keep myself from laughing in her face. And that was back in the late-90’s. In general I think that potential legal consequences are just about the worst tack a parent can take. Realistically, absolutely nothing is going to happen no matter how much porn a teenage boy torrents, and the teenager in question knows this. I don’t have kids, but when I do I can’t imagine being too strict regarding porn. Raiding my dad’s Playboys helped me figure out I was gay back in the day, and internet porn was, in all seriousness, something that helped me accept my sexuality much earlier than I would have in its absence. ---
**Author:** ![BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2009, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-what-do-you-do-about-your-kids-and-porn/489729/27 "2009-03-18T02:14:26Z")
> [@davekhps](#): > > So, you lied to them? 😉 Well, it’s vaguely true, depending on your definition of “hardcore.” 🙂 > [@Argent\_Towers](#): > > When I turned 12, my parents gave me the antique pornograph (made in 1879) that has been passed down to every generation of males in my family since the days of my great-great-great-grandfather. I still have it, right here on my desk, in fact. It’s seen its fair share of abuse - the needle has been replaced countless times - and the brass trim around the edges has long since lost its sheen, but the hand-carved reliefs in the wood panels of the cabinet - depicting every conceivable orifice being penetrated by rock-hard cocks - are as beautiful as ever. The thing is probably worth around 25,000 dollars, but I’ll be damned if I’ll ever sell it. When I have a son, I’ll pass it down to him when he’s at the right age, and I’ll give him the same talk that my father gave me. I’ll tell him the history of the family pornograph, and explain that while it may provide great thrills, it is no substitute for real human companionship, and is to be used only in the absence of an actual female partner. But I will make it clear to him that when he is in times of need, that venerable old antique will be of far greater value to him that any newfangled computer machine. I think this is a joke, but if not, pix plz 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-what-do-you-do-about-your-kids-and-porn/489729.md?page=1)