# Parents, What Do Your Children Call Other Non Related Adults? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 27, 2011, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-what-do-your-children-call-other-non-related-adults/583376 "2011-05-27T00:45:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2011, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-what-do-your-children-call-other-non-related-adults/583376/41 "2011-05-27T23:51:56Z")
I reject the power semantic and how you address me is how I’ll address you. I was taught to refer to people as Miss, Mrs., Mr, Lastname until they instructed me otherwise but as an adult now, I feel perfectly free to make my own rule which is that we shall converse on equal terms or not at all. ---
**Author:** ![ENugent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/4af34b/32.png) [@ENugent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ENugent)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2011, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-what-do-your-children-call-other-non-related-adults/583376/42 "2011-05-27T23:52:40Z")
Teachers and other authority figures in school are Mr. or Ms. Lastname (including me, in my role as Girl Scout leader). Daycare teachers are Ms. Firstname. Friends and their family members are generally first names unless the adults express a preference for last names. Family members are referred to as Uncle Firstname, Aunt Firstname, or Grandma/Grandpa, except that the Uncle or Aunt title often gets dropped in direct conversation. Cousins are first names. A couple of unrelated friends have an honorary “Uncle” title. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2011, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-what-do-your-children-call-other-non-related-adults/583376/43 "2011-05-28T01:55:16Z")
> [@Markxxx](#): > > Certainly I’d rather be called Mark than the “fake” Uncle Mark, you know the uncle/aunt thing you assign to close non-relations. Not I. I’m a southern boy and that’s what we do. I’m Uncle Clothahump to all my friends’ kids. ---
**Author:** ![chizzuk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@chizzuk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chizzuk)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2011, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-what-do-your-children-call-other-non-related-adults/583376/44 "2011-05-28T03:40:10Z")
No kids, but I’m 23 and was taught to call non-related adults Mr./Ms. Surname. I think I would have found the idea of calling an adult by their first name shocking. Uncle/Aunt was reserved for actual relatives who fit those roles only. I’m a student in a clinical program that works with kids and they are taught to call us Miss Firstname. Students and clinical supervisors are referred to in the same way, and the supervisors and parents correct kids who call us by first names only. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2011, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-what-do-your-children-call-other-non-related-adults/583376/45 "2011-05-28T04:11:24Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > Did we time warp back to the 1950s or something? The responses in here amaze me. People get offended when a kid calls them by their given name? > > As a kid in the late 60s and 70s I don’t remember anyone calling anyone Uncle, or Mister or whatever. We all just called people by their name; well except teachers maybe. > > This is weird. I keep thinking what would those people do upon ecountering an Iturriagagoitía or a Sáenz de Tejada… maybe that’s the reason we didn’t do that even when my parents were little, we have some serious mouthfuls for lastnames. ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2011, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-what-do-your-children-call-other-non-related-adults/583376/46 "2011-05-28T04:14:02Z")
My sweetie’s sons…and therefore mine by marriage, hehe, if only part-time…call me by my name, because I prefer it. They already have a confusing situation with 2+dads \ and they call them all Dad. They made me lovely mother’s day cards, and I love them to death, but I’d like them to be solid with just one mom, since that’s at least a little bit of stability. 😛 What’s going to happen when they have friends over, and what the friends will call me, I don’t know…“Mrs Salgado” will be fine, even though I didn’t trade my last name for his when we married. (I took it as my middle name, but that’s too confusing for adults to understand, apparantly, so I’m not going to try to explain it to 10-year olds) Something to think about! But Mrs. Salgado will suit me fine. Thanks for making me think about this before it comes up. 🙂 However…ETA…there is a lovely cultural thing in the south that I picked up when I lived in Virginia, calling people Miss \, which lends a slight air of formality without going overboard. I think I like that. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2011, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-what-do-your-children-call-other-non-related-adults/583376/47 "2011-05-28T04:26:59Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > I keep thinking what would those people do upon ecountering an Iturriagagoitía or a Sáenz de Tejada… maybe that’s the reason we didn’t do that even when my parents were little, we have some serious mouthfuls for lastnames. We usually shorten them, or go for the Mr/Mrs/Ms. first name. So, something like Mr. Wojciechowski might be “Mr. Wojo” or even “Mr. W” much in the same way Duke basketball coach Mike Krzyzewski becomes “Coach K.” Honorifics were standard issue when I grew up (I’m 35) in Chicago, in both languages I grew up with (English and Polish). I personally still find it odd to address the parents of my friends by their first name and continue calling them Mr. and Mrs. last name. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2011, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-what-do-your-children-call-other-non-related-adults/583376/48 "2011-05-28T15:03:17Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > I personally still find it odd to address the parents of my friends by their first name and continue calling them Mr. and Mrs. last name. Me too! There are a few of my parents’ friends who have said, “You know, you’re old enough to call me Firstname now,” and it always feels so _weird_! One of my teachers sent all the students a nice graduation note, with a wonderful bit about how we’re going to be great nurses and don’t despair, all recent nursing grads feel a bit hopeless but we’re all doing just fine. She ended it with, “…and now that we’re nursing colleagues, please call me Polly.” It literally brought me to tears. It was a clear signal that, to her at least, I’m a \*nurse \*now. Wow. Names are powerful things, apparently. But as moved as I was by her gesture, she’ll always be Mrs. Lastname to me! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2011, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-what-do-your-children-call-other-non-related-adults/583376/49 "2011-05-28T15:36:01Z")
I’m 41 and from the south. We always did the Mr/_Misruz_ First Name if it was someone close. Super-close, like my mom’s best friend, was Aunt First Name. There were some who went by Title Last Name, like the preacher or elders. I never even thought to do it. When my oldest was little she called my best friend Aunt FN because my friend had her kid’s use that title for me. I generally taught her to call adults by their title/last name unless we’re close, then just first name will do. ---
**Author:** ![flodnak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/838e76/32.png) [@flodnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flodnak)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2011, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-what-do-your-children-call-other-non-related-adults/583376/50 "2011-05-28T18:58:51Z")
We’ve raised our kids to call adults what they ask to be called. Most of our friends have asked the children to call them by their first names. This might be a cultural thing; here in Troll Country, pupils call teachers by their first names, too. ---
**Author:** ![mattj74](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/73ab20/32.png) [@mattj74](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mattj74)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2016, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-what-do-your-children-call-other-non-related-adults/583376/51 "2016-01-12T02:32:03Z")
In Maryland all children call adults Mr. firstname or Miss firstname. I don’t consider Maryland to be southern apart from some of the Eastern shore or very southern counties, certainly Baltimore and suburban Washington parts of Maryland seem Northern to me but I guess that tradition has held for generations. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2016, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-what-do-your-children-call-other-non-related-adults/583376/52 "2016-01-12T13:36:01Z")
> [@mattj74](#): > > In Maryland all children call adults Mr. firstname or Miss firstname. I don’t consider Maryland to be southern apart from some of the Eastern shore or very southern counties, certainly Baltimore and suburban Washington parts of Maryland seem Northern to me but I guess that tradition has held for generations. Huh, I’ll have to ask my (local) husband about this. I didn’t grow up that way and it’d never occur to me to teach my kid such an archaic usage. I can’t even remember the last time I used a title outside of the most formal of work settings. It seems strange to me to make kids do it when that’s not how people operate in the real world. ---
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2016, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-what-do-your-children-call-other-non-related-adults/583376/53 "2016-01-12T14:03:38Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > I can’t even remember the last time I used a title outside of the most formal of work settings. It seems strange to me to make kids do it when that’s not how people operate in the real world. People certainly do use titles in the real world, at least until asked to shift less formal. The “most formal of work settings” is among the most important of “real world” applications of dealing-with-people skills. You don’t call the client who’s paying for your work, who you just met, by his first name. You don’t call the official whose approval you need on a variance by hers. You don’t call the supplier whose botched delivery you’re complaining about, who you’re on the phone with directly for the first time, by his. These people don’t know you, you don’t know them, and it is essential that they take you seriously. ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2016, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-what-do-your-children-call-other-non-related-adults/583376/54 "2016-01-12T15:04:00Z")
My children address adults as Mr/Mrs [Lastname]. Most of our neighbors have gotten the hint, and their kids address us as Mr and Mrs Magill, which I greatly prefer. Mr Tim sounds stupid. ---
**Author:** ![Ruken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f475e1/32.png) [@Ruken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruken)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2016, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-what-do-your-children-call-other-non-related-adults/583376/55 "2016-01-12T15:41:08Z")
> [@Peremensoe](#): > > You don’t call the client who’s paying for your work, who you just met, by his first name. You don’t call the official whose approval you need on a variance by hers. You don’t call the supplier whose botched delivery you’re complaining about, who you’re on the phone with directly for the first time, by his. These people don’t know you, you don’t know them, and it is essential that they take you seriously. Maybe in the 1950s. This does not describe any reality I’ve experienced. ---
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2016, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-what-do-your-children-call-other-non-related-adults/583376/56 "2016-01-12T16:02:36Z")
> [@Ruken](#): > > Maybe in the 1950s. This does not describe any reality I’ve experienced. Really? You would, unbidden, address an adult you’ve never met, in a professional context, by their first name? Exactly what line of work are you in? ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2016, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-what-do-your-children-call-other-non-related-adults/583376/57 "2016-01-12T16:32:57Z")
The default option in our house is that our three sons should refer to other adults with due respect as Mr., Mrs., Ms. etc. unless the adult insists on being called by first name. Then they can do that. ---
**Author:** ![Ruken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f475e1/32.png) [@Ruken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruken)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2016, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-what-do-your-children-call-other-non-related-adults/583376/58 "2016-01-12T16:33:47Z")
> [@Peremensoe](#): > > Really? You would, unbidden, address an adult you’ve never met, in a professional context, by their first name? Exactly what line of work are you in? Usually firstname lastname, followed by firstname thereafter. I used to be a lab chemist. Lately I’ve been doing some work for a giant consulting firm. A coworker and I occasionally address each other as Dr. Lastname when we’re fooling around, but that’s about it. ---
**Author:** ![missred](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missred/32/14096_2.png) [@missred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missred)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2016, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-what-do-your-children-call-other-non-related-adults/583376/59 "2016-01-12T18:52:25Z")
> [@Ruken](#): > > Usually firstname lastname, followed by firstname thereafter. > > I used to be a lab chemist. Lately I’ve been doing some work for a giant consulting firm. > > A coworker and I occasionally address each other as Dr. Lastname when we’re fooling around, but that’s about it. My world is more like **peremensoe** ’s. Even the tech who collects my urine sample addresses me by Ms. Red. Anytime that I’m dealing with someone for the first time, I use the title as a courtesy. If the person requests something else, we go with that. ---
**Author:** ![Lisaren](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecccb3/32.png) [@Lisaren](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lisaren)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2016, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-what-do-your-children-call-other-non-related-adults/583376/60 "2016-01-12T19:35:51Z")
I am 47, I used Mr./Mrs. when growing up if I addressed an adult. My children take the lead of the adult. If they are introduced James Smith, they know to call the adult Mr. Smith. If the adult is introduced as James or says to call him James, they do so. I prefer the children in my life to use my first name and introduce myself accordingly. I do not even expect my nieces and nephews to use Aunt. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-what-do-your-children-call-other-non-related-adults/583376.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-what-do-your-children-call-other-non-related-adults/583376.md?page=4)