# Parents who won't discipline their children because they're afraid of CPS **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 5, 2014, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-who-wont-discipline-their-children-because-theyre-afraid-of-cps/677954 "2014-01-05T17:24:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2014, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-who-wont-discipline-their-children-because-theyre-afraid-of-cps/677954/61 "2014-01-07T04:54:51Z")
> [@Crafter\_Man](#): > > A bit OT, but your 15 year old daughter had a boyfriend over 20 years old? If so, I can only assume your parenting skills were very questionable, and perhaps contributed to her delinquency. Do you have any opinions that aren’t terrible? ---
**Author:** ![gracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8e7dd6/32.png) [@gracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gracer)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2014, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-who-wont-discipline-their-children-because-theyre-afraid-of-cps/677954/62 "2014-01-07T15:26:14Z")
> [@TokyoBayer](#): > > If the question in the OP can be restated with the following qualifications: Are there reasonable, well meaning, thoughtful and reasonably intelligent parents (e.g. not stupid) who refuse to set limits on their children because they are afraid of CPS? then probably. > > The population of the US is over 300 million. There’s got to be a few paranoid people who worry about such things. That doesn’t work: if they’re paranoid they’re not really reasonable. So going by that, no, there are none. If they refuse to discipline their children for fear of CPS then they are either not reasonable, not well meaning, not thoughtful or not intelligent. But among a population of 300 million there must be plenty of people who lack one of those characteristics, and many more if we can count all the world. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2014, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-who-wont-discipline-their-children-because-theyre-afraid-of-cps/677954/63 "2014-01-07T16:45:40Z")
> [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](#): > > Did she add that, when CPS is investigating what ends up _ **not** _ being actual abuse, the adults involved are often quick to say _ **the exact same things** _ about lies and/or stuff being made up? Since, in such cases, the adults would of course be telling the truth? Reminds me of a recent L&O:SVU when the detectives investigate kids’ allegations against their teacher. It turns out to be a hoax so the teacher says how he told them he was innocent and they pursued it anyway and now his life is ruined. The detectives actually stand around looking ashamed of themselves. As if they could have just taken his word for it?! ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2014, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-who-wont-discipline-their-children-because-theyre-afraid-of-cps/677954/64 "2014-01-07T16:59:29Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > Reminds me of a recent L&O:SVU when the detectives investigate kids’ allegations against their teacher. It turns out to be a hoax so the teacher says how he told them he was innocent and they pursued it anyway and now his life is ruined. The detectives actually stand around looking ashamed of themselves. As if they could have just taken his word for it?! The problem there is that someone’s life can be ruined by allegations, before they are proven true. ---
**Author:** ![Washoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ecae2f/32.png) [@Washoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Washoe)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2014, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-who-wont-discipline-their-children-because-theyre-afraid-of-cps/677954/65 "2014-01-07T22:04:48Z")
> [@gracer](#): > > (Also, is there an _Ask the_ thread for fostering? I’d like to do that one day when I’m making actual money and can afford a house with a spare bedroom.) Yo tambien. ---
**Author:** ![eclectic\_wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ac91a4/32.png) [@eclectic\_wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eclectic_wench)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2014, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-who-wont-discipline-their-children-because-theyre-afraid-of-cps/677954/66 "2014-01-07T23:31:28Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > Reminds me of a recent L&O:SVU when the detectives investigate kids’ allegations against their teacher. It turns out to be a hoax so the teacher says how he told them he was innocent and they pursued it anyway and now his life is ruined. The detectives actually stand around looking ashamed of themselves. As if they could have just taken his word for it?! I’d assume they weren’t looking ashamed of themselves, they were looking disturbed by the fact that their job has moral complexities with real-world implications: of course you have to investigate allegations, but you do run the risk of ruining someone’s life. Doing the right thing doesn’t mean there are never wrong consequences, and that’s a deeply disturbing thing to face. ---
**Author:** ![artemis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/91b2a8/32.png) [@artemis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/artemis)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2014, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-who-wont-discipline-their-children-because-theyre-afraid-of-cps/677954/67 "2014-01-07T23:49:06Z")
> [@lance\_strongarm](#): > > The problem there is that someone’s life can be ruined by allegations, before they are proven true. Someone’s life can be ruined even if the accusations are later conclusively shown to be false. Think of the McMartin Preschool case or (non child related) Richard Jewell. That’s what makes things hard. CPS is clearly needed, but there’s no way to run such a service without risking a mistake which harms innocent caregivers. ---
**Author:** ![Hershele\_Ostropoler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e47c2d/32.png) [@Hershele\_Ostropoler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hershele_Ostropoler)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2014, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-who-wont-discipline-their-children-because-theyre-afraid-of-cps/677954/68 "2014-01-08T02:10:05Z")
I meant, I am skeptical that middle-class parents are less prone to abuse their kids as working-class parents. Hide it better, maybe. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2014, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-who-wont-discipline-their-children-because-theyre-afraid-of-cps/677954/69 "2014-01-08T04:13:44Z")
> [@zoid](#): > > A teaching assistant at my kids school got CPS called on her for grabbing an unruly child by the arm and telling her to “Stop IT!”. She didn’t hurt the kid, didn’t scream at her. The principal said she was obligated to report it. Now that TA will never teach again after for some incident that happened 1 month after completing her degree. > > A friend got arrested because he gave his kid a swat on the butt (no marks at all) and the kid told the ex-wife he hit her. Cops showed up at his house, asked if he put his hands on the kid, he said he gave her a light swat because she wouldn’t do what she was told, and on went the cuffs. > > So yeah, I don’t find it unbelievable at all that someone’s life could get fuck up on an unsubstantiated charge. The worst part is that the kids have learned that they can call the cops or CPS and get their parents in a shitload of trouble if mom or dad disciplines them. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2014, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-who-wont-discipline-their-children-because-theyre-afraid-of-cps/677954/70 "2014-01-16T17:34:46Z")
> [@Clothahump](#): > > The worst part is that the kids have learned that they can call the cops or CPS and get their parents in a shitload of trouble if mom or dad disciplines them. Sad thing is, there are some parents who NEED to get into a shitload of trouble. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2014, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-who-wont-discipline-their-children-because-theyre-afraid-of-cps/677954/71 "2014-02-06T17:01:22Z")
> [@lance\_strongarm](#): > > Perhaps the parents who are afraid of CPS don’t understand that. Those kinds of parents SHOULD be afraid of CPS, and they should take a parent class or two. As if it would do any good. She DID take a couple of parenting classes - voluntarily - because she thought it would make us into perfectly behaved children, i.e. silent and motionless. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-who-wont-discipline-their-children-because-theyre-afraid-of-cps/677954.md?page=3)