# Parents, why did you have kids? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 5, 2016, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-why-did-you-have-kids/765106 "2016-09-05T17:07:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![velomont](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/8491ac/32.png) [@velomont](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/velomont)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2016, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-why-did-you-have-kids/765106/1 "2016-09-05T17:07:27Z")
My wife and I, together since 1989, both knew from the outset that neither of us wanted children. Whatever gene(s) that exist that make creatures want to propagate their species obviously missed us somehow. Twenty-seven years later and there are no regrets. There are obviously many reasons to have kids, ranging from conscious decisions to add to the species to one’s own biological urges (or the related reason - “because we can”) etc. So, to the parents out there, why did you have kids? ---
**Author:** ![watchwolf49](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e9c0ed/32.png) [@watchwolf49](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/watchwolf49)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2016, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-why-did-you-have-kids/765106/2 "2016-09-05T18:10:35Z")
I’ve always enjoyed the company of children … so having some of my own seemed to be the next logical step … no regrets … I had a lot of fun raising my kids, I learned it takes about a half gallon of maple syrup to cover a four-year-old head-to-toe … the rest of wound up tracked all over the house … ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2016, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-why-did-you-have-kids/765106/3 "2016-09-05T18:18:15Z")
I grew up in a very close extended family and enjoyed it. But each generation has been smaller than the last, not a lot of people are having kids, and the people I grew up around are not going to last forever. I realized that if I hope to have a family when I get older, I’m going to need to make one myself. ---
**Author:** ![Waltzes\_with\_Cacti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/90ced4/32.png) [@Waltzes\_with\_Cacti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waltzes_with_Cacti)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2016, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-why-did-you-have-kids/765106/4 "2016-09-05T18:21:32Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > I grew up in a very close extended family and enjoyed it. But each generation has been smaller than the last, not a lot of people are having kids, and the people I grew up around are not going to last forever. I realized that if I hope to have a family when I get older, I’m going to need to make one myself. I came in to say this but **even sven** said it better than I could’ve. ---
**Author:** ![engineer\_comp\_geek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/engineer_comp_geek/32/504_2.png) [@engineer\_comp\_geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/engineer_comp_geek)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2016, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-why-did-you-have-kids/765106/5 "2016-09-05T18:27:44Z")
**Moderator Action** Since this is informally polling for personal opinions, let’s move it to IMHO (from GQ). ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2016, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-why-did-you-have-kids/765106/6 "2016-09-05T18:37:13Z")
I didn’t want to mow my own lawn. Boy has that backfired. We wanted to share our world intimately with another human being in the way you only can when you raise them from infancy. We wanted to watch their delight at fireworks, or hitting a home run, or figuring out a logic puzzle, or discovering creme brulee. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2016, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-why-did-you-have-kids/765106/7 "2016-09-05T18:45:01Z")
Because it’s the default. I like kids. More couples have children than don’t. It’s the natural way of going about life. Why did you choose not to have children, is the real question? ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/57b2e6/32.png) [@Quasimodal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodal)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2016, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-why-did-you-have-kids/765106/8 "2016-09-05T18:59:23Z")
Substitute “natural” with “more common”. How many accidental pregnancies have there been throughout time? Before birth control methods how many children have been thrown away throughout history? Even now it still happens…or people put them up for adoption. How many people would even have kids in the first place if sex wasn’t so amazing? Intelligence, birth control, and resources have changed how we can look at what is “normal.” When the world becomes overpopulated (and it will) traditional views will be more challenged. “natural” is not the right word for me. I teach kids, so I feel lucky to be around them and have impact on them. I also feel lucky to go home to be on my own with no screaming children to distract me from my fun. Works for me! ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2016, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-why-did-you-have-kids/765106/9 "2016-09-05T19:09:15Z")
I’ve always liked kids. In particular, I also like my genes, and those of my wife, and wanted to propagate them. I also didn’t like the prospect of a lonely old age with no one special. As it turned out, my kids were cooler than I imagined, and took me to places I’d never have gone without them. So I’ve never regretted the decision. ---
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2016, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-why-did-you-have-kids/765106/10 "2016-09-05T19:21:40Z")
Birth control failure. Best thing that ever happened to me! ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2016, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-why-did-you-have-kids/765106/11 "2016-09-05T19:22:28Z")
> [@Quasimodal](#): > > …How many people would even have kids in the first place if sex wasn’t so amazing? … I don’t think sex is amazing. When it’s fresh and new it can be great. After that it gets laborious. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2016, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-why-did-you-have-kids/765106/12 "2016-09-05T19:35:58Z")
So I’d have an excuse to play with toys. ---
**Author:** ![purplehearingaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@purplehearingaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehearingaid)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2016, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-why-did-you-have-kids/765106/13 "2016-09-05T19:46:43Z")
B/c I wanted to have a baby and my daughter told me she glad she was born ! She is loving her life . I finally broke the abusive pattern that been past down in my dad’s family for generations. It took a woman to do it ! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![velomont](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/8491ac/32.png) [@velomont](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/velomont)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2016, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-why-did-you-have-kids/765106/14 "2016-09-05T20:02:52Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > Because it’s the default. I like kids. > > More couples have children than don’t. > > It’s the natural way of going about life. > > Why did you choose not to have children, is the real question? Everything you’ve said here is correct. Regarding why we didn’t, as I mentioned in my post, the propagating genes somehow missed us both. But seriously, it simply wasn’t a consideration or an interest for us; it is something that is almost beyond our imaginations. And if I want to apply some conscious thought to it, the velomont of 25 yrs ago would have been an appaling father - probably not unlike my tyrant of a dad. I could seriously say that any conscientious members of my family should not have passed on our DNA. So in that way I’ve definitely made a positive contribution to the species. ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2016, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-why-did-you-have-kids/765106/15 "2016-09-05T20:32:10Z")
> [@velomont](#): > > Everything you’ve said here is correct. Regarding why we didn’t, as I mentioned in my post, the propagating genes somehow missed us both. But seriously, it simply wasn’t a consideration or an interest for us; it is something that is almost beyond our imaginations. > > And if I want to apply some conscious thought to it, the velomont of 25 yrs ago would have been an appaling father - probably not unlike my tyrant of a dad. I could seriously say that any conscientious members of my family should not have passed on our DNA. So in that way I’ve definitely made a positive contribution to the species. Just a question: suppose you and your wife had had an “accident”. Would you have kept the baby? ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2016, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-why-did-you-have-kids/765106/16 "2016-09-05T20:40:20Z")
Because the idea of raising a person seems like a monumental challenge that comes with great rewards. Some people get that thrill by climbing mountains. Others get it by having kids. Creating an entire family out of scratch is also pretty cool, when you think about it. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2016, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-why-did-you-have-kids/765106/17 "2016-09-05T21:04:56Z")
> [@velomont](#): > > So, to the parents out there, why did you have kids? Pretty much for the same reason the OP didn’t. My wife and I both wanted to have children and be parents. There wasn’t really a protracted thought process about it. The real question is, if we had had trouble having children, would we have deliberately pursued IVF or adoption, knowing it would take thousands of dollars and possibly years, and still might not have happened. I think we would have, but I can’t say for sure. ---
**Author:** ![watchwolf49](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e9c0ed/32.png) [@watchwolf49](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/watchwolf49)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2016, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-why-did-you-have-kids/765106/18 "2016-09-05T21:07:24Z")
“If I had known _grandchildren_ would be so much fun, I would have had them _first_” – Someone wise. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2016, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-why-did-you-have-kids/765106/19 "2016-09-05T21:10:32Z")
Dogs gotta eat. 🙂 Many good reasons already said above. Propagating oneself, especially with the chance to make him/her/them better than you, is a powerful desire. Six kids later (plus a few passers-through), I’d do it again. I don’t fault couples who choose not to have kids. They are probably making the right decision. But all too often, what I hear is “We couldn’t have had/did all we did with the expense and obligations of kids.” Which I won’t say is selfish… but it does smack of valuing the trivial and ephemeral over something lastingly valuable and permanent. ---
**Author:** ![velomont](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/8491ac/32.png) [@velomont](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/velomont)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2016, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-why-did-you-have-kids/765106/20 "2016-09-05T21:40:14Z")
> [@Urbanredneck](#): > > Just a question: suppose you and your wife had had an “accident”. Would you have kept the baby? That’s a tough question. We definitely would **not** have aborted, so it would have been a choice between putting him/her up for adoption or keeping him/her. However, I still would have been an appalling father at that time so I think that adoption would have been the better option. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-why-did-you-have-kids/765106.md?page=2)