# Parents, why did you have kids? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 5, 2016, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-why-did-you-have-kids/765106 "2016-09-05T17:07:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2016, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-why-did-you-have-kids/765106/41 "2016-09-06T17:27:54Z")
I really don’t know, but as I look back from a perspective of 79 years, the one part of my life I would like to live over was the raising of the 3 kids. I have to say that they were _exceptionally_ easy to raise. YMMV (Obviously, YMDV). ---
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2016, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-why-did-you-have-kids/765106/42 "2016-09-06T17:46:18Z")
Being a parent is a fundamental part of the human experience. That doesn’t mean it’s a necessary part for everyone, but it feels like it is to me. I spent time in my life as a child, as a young adult, as a single man, and as a married man without kids. And I wanted to see what it means to be a father, and hopefully someday a grandfather. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2016, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-why-did-you-have-kids/765106/43 "2016-09-06T17:54:48Z")
Because I am stupid. But it’s worked out well, for the most part. I like them and love them, and they’ve made me a better person. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2016, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-why-did-you-have-kids/765106/44 "2016-09-06T18:13:37Z")
I never wanted kids. Indeed I paid for two abortions in my younger days. Then my (ex) wife decided she wanted a child. The odds were against her due to severe endometriosis. She had two surgeries for endometriosis and lost part of one ovary in the process. She spent years on medications to try to get pregnant and I jacked off into many containers for a variety of different medical techniques. After she gave up on the idea, she got pregnant. Twice. I love my son and daughter more than anything in the world. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2016, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-why-did-you-have-kids/765106/45 "2016-09-06T18:20:39Z")
My wife and I always knew we wanted to have at least one child. It sounds sentimental, but we felt like we had a lot of love and emotional stability to share. We were very late to parenthood, so we had seen many of friends and relatives raising kids and understood how rewarding and (to some extent) how difficult it would be. We thought we were temperamentally suited to the task, and so far, it’s gone well. We struggled a bit as to whether to have a second child, but now that she’s here, we’re convinced that it was the right decision. I totally understand the decision not to, though. It’s like anything else in life; it’s a specialized activity, and it just may not be your thing. Besides which, it’s all-consuming and irreversible; someone without that desire who decides not to do it strikes me as a completely rational and commendable choice. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2016, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-why-did-you-have-kids/765106/46 "2016-09-06T18:29:21Z")
Count me and my wife in the “just always knew we would be parents” camp. Even when we first broached the subject of kids - well before we got married - it was just assumed by both that we would. The only discussion was around how many. We both seemed to think that 2 or 3 was the right number. We had 3, all grown and living their own lives now. One has provided us with a grandson, though, so I get to relive all the best parts and let momma and daddy handle the hard parts! ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2016, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-why-did-you-have-kids/765106/47 "2016-09-06T18:45:22Z")
I always saw having children as part of my life. Didn’t give it much thought past that, and discussions of timing with my wife as we juggled careers. As has been stated in countless threads, a person can have any number of life experiences that push/pull/drag/coerce them into adulthood. Many of those have nothing to do with children. In my case, as the clichéd story goes, having kids was a huge force involved in me growing up. I can’t imagine life without my kids or what I would be like if I didn’t have them in my life. So I had kids for straightforward reasons, but got caught up in my own need to grow up (as is common) and have come to look at having children as one of the most important decisions I have ever made. ---
**Author:** ![Chihuahua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dec6dc/32.png) [@Chihuahua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chihuahua)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2016, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-why-did-you-have-kids/765106/48 "2016-09-06T19:15:33Z")
Circle of life, man. Without children it would just be… What… The incomplete hemisphere of life? Sorry, that just fell apart on me. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2016, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-why-did-you-have-kids/765106/49 "2016-09-06T19:53:29Z")
Seemed like a good idea at the time. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2016, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-why-did-you-have-kids/765106/50 "2016-09-06T19:55:06Z")
> [@Chihuahua](#): > > Circle of life, man. Without children it would just be… What… The incomplete hemisphere of life? Sorry, that just fell apart on me. Arch. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2016, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-why-did-you-have-kids/765106/51 "2016-09-06T22:21:29Z")
> [@you\_with\_the\_face](#): > > Because the idea of raising a person seems like a monumental challenge that comes with great rewards. Some people get that thrill by climbing mountains. Others get it by having kids. > > Creating an entire family out of scratch is also pretty cool, when you think about it. **you with the face** just had a baby today, everyone! ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2016, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-why-did-you-have-kids/765106/52 "2016-09-06T22:33:12Z")
Mazel Tov! ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2016, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-why-did-you-have-kids/765106/53 "2016-09-06T23:28:23Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > **you with the face** just had a baby today, everyone! Cool! Congratulations! I will give her the same advice I give to all new parents: _ **DON’T** _ _drop it_. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2016, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-why-did-you-have-kids/765106/54 "2016-09-06T23:29:11Z")
Uh … because I didn’t use a condom. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2016, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-why-did-you-have-kids/765106/55 "2016-09-06T23:39:05Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Cool! Congratulations! > > I will give her the same advice I give to all new parents: > > _ **DON’T** _ _drop it_. But it’s alright if the favorite aunt has a few oopsies, correct? \ ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2016, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-why-did-you-have-kids/765106/56 "2016-09-07T01:09:41Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > **you with the face** just had a baby today, everyone! Amazing! Congrats to both her and the soon-to-be-favorite auntie. You guys will be awesome!! ---
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2016, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-why-did-you-have-kids/765106/57 "2016-09-07T01:14:18Z")
When I envisioned kids, I was curious what my & my wife’s offspring would look like. Concerning level of effort, I was thinking like really intense hamsters… 24x7 care for a couple of years, then cruise control after that. All I can say to anyone considering this enterprise is that it lasts considerably longer than that, and becomes an entirely different animal every couple of years. ---
**Author:** ![Barrett\_Bonden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5e9695/32.png) [@Barrett\_Bonden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barrett_Bonden)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2016, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-why-did-you-have-kids/765106/58 "2016-09-07T17:17:38Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > **you with the face** just had a baby today, everyone! Congratulations! And to Auntie as well! (Being an aunt is _ **awesome** _!) ---
**Author:** ![Doubticus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e56c9b/32.png) [@Doubticus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doubticus)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2016, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-why-did-you-have-kids/765106/59 "2016-09-07T17:55:54Z")
When my wife and I got married, we were unsure if we wanted children. After our first 10 years of marriage, my wife’s biological clock got ticking and before I knew it I was a father and I wouldn’t change it for anything. I’m unsure of your relationship with your family, but I’ve always got along great with my folks. I’m saddened that they are aging and there will be a time when they’ve passed. However, having children creates family behind you and they provide additional emotional support the rest of your life. Personally, the first time my child held me and loved me back is a profound experience that I can’t believe I ever thought of foregoing. ---
**Author:** ![Dallas\_Jones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dallas_jones/32/3277_2.png) [@Dallas\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dallas_Jones)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2016, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-why-did-you-have-kids/765106/60 "2016-09-07T18:21:01Z")
\*\*Parents, why did you have kids? \*\* Well it just kind of happened while I was busy doing other things when I was about 30. It was an awesome, scary, responsibility when they were very young. Just an absolute fun, kick in the pants when they were 8-12 years old. A careful letting go as they grew through high school. And a fading away as they grew beyond really needing me after that. Looking back on the math, my father had me at 30yrs, I had my sons at the same age, and last month my 30ish son (and wife) had a baby girl. They seemed very happy. I looked at him with a knowing smile that he will understand, in about 30 more years. All in all it has been the most stressful and emotionally rewarding thing I can image. It is why we progress as a society and why we are here. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-why-did-you-have-kids/765106.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parents-why-did-you-have-kids/765106.md?page=4)