# Parks and Rec: Ron Johnson speech? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 10, 2019, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parks-and-rec-ron-johnson-speech/844664 "2019-12-10T20:09:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Ravenman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ravenman/32/2929_2.png) [@Ravenman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ravenman)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2019, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parks-and-rec-ron-johnson-speech/844664/1 "2019-12-10T20:09:29Z")
I believe there’s an episode of Parks and Recreation where Ron Johnson gives an absolutely horrible speech, and he explains later that speeches should only relate facts and not emotion – or something to that effect – much to Leslie Knope’s disappointment. Does anyone remember what I’m talking about, and can point me to an episode? ---
**Author:** ![Banksiaman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/banksiaman/32/3334_2.png) [@Banksiaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Banksiaman)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2019, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parks-and-rec-ron-johnson-speech/844664/2 "2019-12-10T20:36:41Z")
Ron Swanson, although there are about 18,000 episodes so there could well be a Ron Johnson lurking in there. I’m pretty sure I remember the speech, and a it was a master-class in brevity. ---
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2019, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parks-and-rec-ron-johnson-speech/844664/3 "2019-12-10T20:54:03Z")
His woodworking chair award acceptance maybe? ---
**Author:** ![AlsoNamedBort](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alsonamedbort/32/3213_2.png) [@AlsoNamedBort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AlsoNamedBort)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2019, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parks-and-rec-ron-johnson-speech/844664/4 "2019-12-10T20:56:55Z")
Yeah, he does it a few times. Makes me think of his art speech, but I don’t remember if Leslie commented on it: > [@](#): > > OK, everyone: shut up! And look at me! Welcome to “Visions of Nature.” This room has several paintings in it. Some are big; some are small. People did them, and they’re here now. I believe that after this is over, they’ll be hung in government buildings. Why the government is involved in an art show is beyond me. I also think it’s pointless for a human to paint scenes of nature when they could just go outside and stand in it. Anyway, please do not misinterpret the fact that I am talking right now as genuine interest in art and attempt to discuss it with me further. End of speech. ---
**Author:** ![Ravenman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ravenman/32/2929_2.png) [@Ravenman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ravenman)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2019, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parks-and-rec-ron-johnson-speech/844664/5 "2019-12-10T21:06:46Z")
Ah yes. Swanson. I now recall the art one, which may suit my needs… but if anyone recalls a Ron talking about how speeches should only be facts, that would be very much appreciated. And rewarded! (This is not a promise of a reward.) ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2019, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parks-and-rec-ron-johnson-speech/844664/6 "2019-12-10T22:51:09Z")
If you want a hilarious just-the-facts-Ma’am speech, take a look at the fourth episode of the second season of the HBO series Succession. [Here](https://youtu.be/sGYjif4P16s?t=218) is a link to the scene on YouTube. (The reason for the ridiculous speech was to make things difficult for a writer researching a book on the family of the guy delivering the eulogy.) ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2019, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parks-and-rec-ron-johnson-speech/844664/7 "2019-12-10T22:56:14Z")
This one [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/xX0IdQ612yg/hqdefault.jpg "Parks and Rec - Ron Swanson's art speech") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xX0IdQ612yg) ---
**Author:** ![Ravenman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ravenman/32/2929_2.png) [@Ravenman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ravenman)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2019, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parks-and-rec-ron-johnson-speech/844664/8 "2019-12-11T03:01:04Z")
I’m still embarrassed by the Johnson/Swanson thing, but I think the art gallery speech is what I vaguely remembered. Thanks folks! ---
**Author:** ![zbuzz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e19b73/32.png) [@zbuzz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zbuzz)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2019, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parks-and-rec-ron-johnson-speech/844664/9 "2019-12-11T04:31:49Z")
"I refuse to lather Marlene up, kiss her ring like everybody else. Instead, I’ll be delivering a speech of facts. “Marlene is a woman. She has worked in the government for three decades. Thirty years. Properly applied, that’s how long a good varnish should last. So, Marlene, it is true that you have won this award.” It’s the one where Marlene gets the Tellenson Award, Leslie’s sassy, powerful and dynastic haircut makes her stand out for the wrong reasons, and Ron gets his fill of bacon-wrapped shrimp, his number one favorite food wrapped around his number 3 favorite food. I don’t think Leslie even notices Ron’s speech, she’s too busy being trying to cement the Knope family political dynasty by convincing Zoning Board member Jeanine Restrepo to rezone the pit into a park. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2019, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parks-and-rec-ron-johnson-speech/844664/10 "2019-12-11T04:45:19Z")
> [@zbuzz](#): > > "I refuse to lather Marlene up, kiss her ring like everybody else. Instead, I’ll be delivering a speech of facts. > > “Marlene is a woman. She has worked in the government for three decades. Thirty years. Properly applied, that’s how long a good varnish should last. So, Marlene, it is true that you have won this award.” > It’s the one where Marlene gets the Tellenson Award, Leslie’s sassy, powerful and dynastic haircut makes her stand out for the wrong reasons, and Ron gets his fill of bacon-wrapped shrimp, his number one favorite food wrapped around his number 3 favorite food. > > I don’t think Leslie even notices Ron’s speech, she’s too busy being trying to cement the Knope family political dynasty by convincing Zoning Board member Jeanine Restrepo to rezone the pit into a park. God, I miss that show. FWIW Nick Offerman has a woodworking studio. My daughter bought us a set of monogrammed coasters. It’s pretty cool. [https://offermanwoodshop.com/](https://offermanwoodshop.com/)