# \[Parody\] The iPhone turns out to have evolved naturally **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 23, 2017, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parody-the-iphone-turns-out-to-have-evolved-naturally/791937 "2017-07-23T13:26:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Flyer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/flyer/32/7298_2.png) [@Flyer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flyer)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2017, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parody-the-iphone-turns-out-to-have-evolved-naturally/791937/1 "2017-07-23T13:26:00Z")
This is from a site that’s basically the Christian equivalent of the Onion. > [@](#): > > The consensus is in: scientists from around the globe have confirmed that the Apple iPhone was not designed, but rather evolved naturally over billions of years. > > The origins of the complex device have been the subject of scientific debate for many years, but Thursday’s announcement puts to bed any doubt that the early ancestors of the iPhone spontaneously generated in a swamp some 4.6 billion years ago. > **[Apple IPhone Evolved Naturally Over Billions Of Years, Experts Now Believe](https://babylonbee.com/news/apple-iphone-evolved-naturally-billions-years-experts-now-believe/)** > > WORLD—The consensus is in: scientists from around the globe have confirmed that the Apple iPhone was not designed, but rather evolved naturally over billions of years. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2017, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parody-the-iphone-turns-out-to-have-evolved-naturally/791937/2 "2017-07-23T16:33:55Z")
So, on top of believing in UFOs and chemtrails, you are a creationist, too? ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2017, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parody-the-iphone-turns-out-to-have-evolved-naturally/791937/3 "2017-07-23T16:46:13Z")
To expand, something is funny when someone is _telling_ a joke. When someone writes something to advertise their utter lack of even the most basic understanding, they _are_ the joke. This isn’t parody, this is fools beclowning themselves. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2017, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parody-the-iphone-turns-out-to-have-evolved-naturally/791937/4 "2017-07-23T17:40:44Z")
On the bottom of the home page it says, “The Babylon Bee is Your Trusted Source For Christian News Satire.”, so yes, it is like the Onion. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2017, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parody-the-iphone-turns-out-to-have-evolved-naturally/791937/5 "2017-07-23T18:42:13Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > On the bottom of the home page it says, “The Babylon Bee is Your Trusted Source For Christian News Satire.”, so yes, it is like the Onion. No, look at some of the other articles–it is the Brietbart (don’t care enough to check the spelling) of humor. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2017, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parody-the-iphone-turns-out-to-have-evolved-naturally/791937/6 "2017-07-23T18:44:54Z")
So that site is a Poe of a Poe? ---
**Author:** ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2017, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parody-the-iphone-turns-out-to-have-evolved-naturally/791937/7 "2017-07-23T21:29:27Z")
I don’t think Breitbart would approve of articles like [this](http://babylonbee.com/news/man-constantly-calls-people-snowflakes-deeply-offended-slightest-criticism-president-trump/) one, or even [this](http://babylonbee.com/news/benny-hinn-carefully-applies-not-world-sticker-ferrari-458-italia/) one ---
**Author:** ![CurtC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ce73a5/32.png) [@CurtC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CurtC)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2017, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parody-the-iphone-turns-out-to-have-evolved-naturally/791937/8 "2017-07-24T03:05:30Z")
The question of why we know an iPhone had to be designed, while any animal, which is much more complex than the iPhone, didn’t, is an interesting question to ask. But this article doesn’t ask the question, it just attempts to ridicule anyone who dares answer. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2017, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parody-the-iphone-turns-out-to-have-evolved-naturally/791937/9 "2017-07-24T04:58:22Z")
To the extent that cellphones might eventually be considered part of the [extended phenotype](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Extended_Phenotype) of the human species, there is a sense in which they _are_ the product of billions of years of evolution. Of course, our _ability_ to make mobile phones is a product of our evolved high intelligence and our evolved strategy of social cooperation. But we could go further. It is easy to see that humans with mobile phones may have a fitness advantage, since (for example) many lives have been saved by calling for help on a phone. This could lead to a genetic predisposition to carrying a mobile phone. In principle, a mobile phone would then be just as much a product of evolution and natural selection as (say) a termite nest or a beaver dam. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2017, 9:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parody-the-iphone-turns-out-to-have-evolved-naturally/791937/10 "2017-07-24T09:35:45Z")
> [@CurtC](#): > > The question of why we know an iPhone had to be designed, while any animal, which is much more complex than the iPhone, didn’t, is an interesting question to ask. > > But this article doesn’t ask the question, it just attempts to ridicule anyone who dares answer. Exactly–that isn’t an article mocking or parodying creationists, it is an article mocking people who _aren’t_ creationists. It is a joke in the genus of “If people evolved from monkeys, why are they still monkeys? Haw, has, haw!” The same goes for the rest of the site–it isn’t parody of Christianity by outsiders, it is parody of sects of Christians that aren’t sufficiently conservative and of the proper, true sect of Christianity. Also a site for acticles about how horrible liberals and LGBT people are. Perhaps “the World Net Daily if humor” would be a more accurate description. Whatever the description, the site is pure slime. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2017, 10:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parody-the-iphone-turns-out-to-have-evolved-naturally/791937/11 "2017-07-24T10:44:47Z")
Never mind. On reading **Darren Garrison’s** post more clearly, I agree with him. They are slime for being against LGBT people. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2017, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parody-the-iphone-turns-out-to-have-evolved-naturally/791937/12 "2017-07-24T11:09:14Z")
There’s a certain comedy in [this article](http://babylonbee.com/news/careful-five-minute-long-study-woman-concludes-bible-supports-position/), to be fair. > [@](#): > > After a full five minutes of careful study on a controversial topic, local believer Andrea Williams confirmed Wednesday that she had come to the conclusion that the Bible was 100% in agreement with what she wanted to be true in the first place. ---
**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2017, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parody-the-iphone-turns-out-to-have-evolved-naturally/791937/13 "2017-07-24T14:40:21Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > Exactly–that isn’t an article mocking or parodying creationists, it is an article mocking people who _aren’t_ creationists. It is a joke in the genus of “If people evolved from monkeys, why are they still monkeys? Haw, has, haw!” > > The same goes for the rest of the site–it isn’t parody of Christianity by outsiders, it is parody of sects of Christians that aren’t sufficiently conservative and of the proper, true sect of Christianity. Also a site for acticles about how horrible liberals and LGBT people are. > > Perhaps “the World Net Daily if humor” would be a more accurate description. Whatever the description, the site is pure slime. Well that was obvious from who posted the OP. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2017, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parody-the-iphone-turns-out-to-have-evolved-naturally/791937/14 "2017-07-24T15:16:42Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > Whatever the description, the site is pure slime. Well, at least they seem to find Trump and true believer Trumpists despicable, so at least they seem to be trying to maintain some sort of consistent theology, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2017, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parody-the-iphone-turns-out-to-have-evolved-naturally/791937/15 "2017-07-24T18:00:27Z")
It’s a miracle! The [Watchmaker argument](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Watchmaker_analogy) has literally risen from the dead! ---
**Author:** ![Flyer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/flyer/32/7298_2.png) [@Flyer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flyer)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2017, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parody-the-iphone-turns-out-to-have-evolved-naturally/791937/16 "2017-07-24T21:34:38Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > Perhaps “the World Net Daily if humor” would be a more accurate description. Whatever the description, the site is pure slime. > [@cochrane](#): > > Never mind. On reading **Darren Garrison’s** post more clearly, I agree with him. They are slime for being against LGBT people. I knew that the article would be controversial here. However, I had somehow managed to forget how much raw hatred there is here toward morality, and how so many people here are determined to defend immoral behavior, come hell or high water. The above comments are morally and ethically equivalent to saying things like “Jews are slime.” ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2017, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parody-the-iphone-turns-out-to-have-evolved-naturally/791937/17 "2017-07-24T21:40:40Z")
> [@Flyer](#): > > I knew that the article would be controversial here. However, I had somehow managed to forget how much raw hatred there is here toward morality, and how so many people here are determined to defend immoral behavior, come hell or high water. The above comments are morally and ethically equivalent to saying things like “Jews are slime.” Wh…what? ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2017, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parody-the-iphone-turns-out-to-have-evolved-naturally/791937/18 "2017-07-24T21:44:12Z")
> [@Flyer](#): > > I knew that the article would be controversial here. However, I had somehow managed to forget how much raw hatred there is here toward morality, and how so many people here are determined to defend immoral behavior, come hell or high water. The above comments are morally and ethically equivalent to saying things like “Jews are slime.” What about those who believe gay people should be discriminated against? Is it wrong to assert that such discrimination is “immoral behavior”? ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2017, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parody-the-iphone-turns-out-to-have-evolved-naturally/791937/19 "2017-07-24T21:55:43Z")
Immorality is hating someone for who they are. It has nothing to do with who they want to have sex with. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2017, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parody-the-iphone-turns-out-to-have-evolved-naturally/791937/20 "2017-07-25T03:44:00Z")
> [@Flyer](#): > > I knew that the article would be controversial here. However, I had somehow managed to forget how much raw hatred there is here toward morality, and how so many people here are determined to defend immoral behavior, come hell or high water. The above comments are morally and ethically equivalent to saying things like “Jews are slime.” Bullshit. It’s immoral to hate people for being LGBT. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/parody-the-iphone-turns-out-to-have-evolved-naturally/791937.md?page=2)