# Passenger taking up two seats on a crowded train - how would you have handled it? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 12, 2017, 8:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/passenger-taking-up-two-seats-on-a-crowded-train-how-would-you-have-handled-it/776948 "2017-01-12T08:08:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2017, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/passenger-taking-up-two-seats-on-a-crowded-train-how-would-you-have-handled-it/776948/21 "2017-01-12T14:17:09Z")
> [@Les\_Espaces\_Du\_Sommeil](#): > > Of course. > > Just to be clear, I didn’t mean to offend anyone - sorry if I did. It’s just that I know several persons who are _always_ tired and, as a result, cranky or unproductive, so when they mention that they went to bed at 3 am on a weekday because they _really_ had to binge-watch this or that, I tend not to have much patience for them. Ditto when perfect strangers drool on my shoulder during my commute, but hey, I’m sure that someone somewhere gets their kicks out of it. It’s not offending anyone. Some people just do things differently. For 3 months I used to ride Metro North from Grand Central to a client about an hour away. I prefer not to nap on the train, but he regular planned for it. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2017, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/passenger-taking-up-two-seats-on-a-crowded-train-how-would-you-have-handled-it/776948/22 "2017-01-12T14:33:54Z")
I went with the second choice although I really fall between that and the first. If I expect to stand and end up standing it really doesn’t bother me much even if its because someone is being slightly inconsiderate so more than seethe I may be slightly annoyed or at least take notice. Three seconds later I would be over it. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2017, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/passenger-taking-up-two-seats-on-a-crowded-train-how-would-you-have-handled-it/776948/23 "2017-01-12T15:02:29Z")
I’d wake her up and ask her to move the bag, unless she paid for the extra seat. ---
**Author:** ![Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de053/32.png) [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackknifed_Juggernaut)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2017, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/passenger-taking-up-two-seats-on-a-crowded-train-how-would-you-have-handled-it/776948/24 "2017-01-12T15:15:57Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > I’d wake her up and ask her to move the bag, unless she paid for the extra seat. I encounter this pretty frequently. Since I live pretty close to NYC, some of my trains are pretty full when I get on. One of the stops is Newark Airport and there are invariably passengers who aren’t daily commuters, who got on an empty train, and decided to put their bag(s) on the seat next to them. Every so often, one of them refuses to move the bag, so I have to take matters into my own hands. I quite frankly don’t mind standing, but I can’t stand it when someone has the audacity to watch others stand without even attempting to make room. ---
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2017, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/passenger-taking-up-two-seats-on-a-crowded-train-how-would-you-have-handled-it/776948/25 "2017-01-12T15:17:15Z")
I’d not do anything but neither the “not doing anything wrong” or “quietly seethe” options apply. It’s a minor offense that I’d assume was made out of ignorance and I have no need to be the enforcer of the rules or need or even great desire of the seat for just one stop. If I was going to be on for a long time I’d tap her and get her to move her bag. Someone else who may have more of a desire for the seat might though in this case, and should. Better they have have the seat if I am only on that briefly. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2017, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/passenger-taking-up-two-seats-on-a-crowded-train-how-would-you-have-handled-it/776948/26 "2017-01-12T15:18:48Z")
Yeah, I wouldn’t be upset or annoyed. I’d assume she got on an almost empty train, then fell asleep. Benefit of the doubt and all. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2017, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/passenger-taking-up-two-seats-on-a-crowded-train-how-would-you-have-handled-it/776948/27 "2017-01-12T16:03:44Z")
The sleeping lady very likely got on the train when it was not crowded, and is dreaming away, blissfully unaware of what is going on around her. I would escort someone who needs a seat to the bag place, say “Here’s a seat”,and move the bag. If the owner of the bag wakes up, I’d politely explain what I was doing and that I didn’t want to wake her up. Like, how hard can tolerance and civility be? ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2017, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/passenger-taking-up-two-seats-on-a-crowded-train-how-would-you-have-handled-it/776948/28 "2017-01-12T16:52:55Z")
Move the bag, let her sleep. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2017, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/passenger-taking-up-two-seats-on-a-crowded-train-how-would-you-have-handled-it/776948/29 "2017-01-12T17:13:26Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > Yeah, I wouldn’t be upset or annoyed. I’d assume she got on an almost empty train, then fell asleep. Benefit of the doubt and all. I suppose, but people pull this shit even when they’re awake, so I’m unlikely to give a benefit of a doubt. ---
**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2017, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/passenger-taking-up-two-seats-on-a-crowded-train-how-would-you-have-handled-it/776948/30 "2017-01-12T17:24:36Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > I suppose, but people pull this shit even when they’re awake, so I’m unlikely to give a benefit of a doubt. Right, plus there’s also the possibility that her “sleeping” was really just “sitting with eyes closed hoping no one bothers me and asks to move my bag.” Which happens around here (NYC) as well. If I was only going one or two stops, I would probably just stand, but if I had a longer than 10 minute ride ahead of me, I’d say “Excuse me” and if she didn’t wake up or show a sign that she heard me I’d tap her on the shoulder and ask her to move her bag. I would never move her bag without her permission though. I don’t want to be responsible for the contents if something gets jostled the wrong way and is damaged. ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2017, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/passenger-taking-up-two-seats-on-a-crowded-train-how-would-you-have-handled-it/776948/31 "2017-01-12T17:35:27Z")
What if the person baldly refuses to move the bag? I encountered that at least once. Train completely full, one man sitting in handicapped/elderly reserved seating, bag on the seat next to him. Asked him to move it, he flatly refused and grinned challengingly. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2017, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/passenger-taking-up-two-seats-on-a-crowded-train-how-would-you-have-handled-it/776948/32 "2017-01-12T17:40:38Z")
> [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](#): > > Right, plus there’s also the possibility that her “sleeping” was really just “sitting with eyes closed hoping no one bothers me and asks to move my bag.” Which happens around here (NYC) as well. Hell, I used to pull that shit twenty years ago when I was a young traveller and a bit more of a dick, I guess. Not on a full bus or train, but in one where there are other options with empty seats to dissuade a person from taking mine and picking one of the “easier” options. And it was a “hack” I learned from fellow travelers at the time. Worked pretty well, I might add. You even see people doing this on, say, a Southwest Airlines flight that isn’t or might not be full. They’ll just plop a bag in the seat next to them in the hopes that the average person will rather take another open seat rather than ask them to move the bag. ---
**Author:** ![septimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/septimus/32/410_2.png) [@septimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/septimus)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2017, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/passenger-taking-up-two-seats-on-a-crowded-train-how-would-you-have-handled-it/776948/33 "2017-01-12T18:02:04Z")
I have no useful comment but _loved_ the following post. > [@msmith537](#): > > … I did some checking around. Interestingly, I discovered that everyone else on the planet isn’t you and may do things differently from how you would do them. (This was also my reaction when I read its antecedent post.) ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2017, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/passenger-taking-up-two-seats-on-a-crowded-train-how-would-you-have-handled-it/776948/34 "2017-01-12T18:37:03Z")
> [@Sailboat](#): > > What if the person baldly refuses to move the bag? I encountered that at least once. Train completely full, one man sitting in handicapped/elderly reserved seating, bag on the seat next to him. Asked him to move it, he flatly refused and grinned challengingly. I’d either get a conductor (preferred), or move the bag to the floor, depending on my mood. I’d anticipate the second option would result in unpleasantness. Actually, if a conductor were not near, I’d most likely mutter some unpleasantries about rude people, and stand. :rolleyes: 25 years riding Chicago Metra. No problem trying to occupy more than 1 seat, encouraging new boarders to sit elsewhere. But as soon as someone zeroes in on the space you are occupying, you promptly move so as to occupy only your own space. Falling asleep while occupying more than your space is (IMO) rude, b/c it prevents you from responding as the train gets more crowded. I’d wake the person with a clear “Excuse me, please move your bag.” I would NOT touch the other person’s bag, unless they refused to move it themself. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2017, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/passenger-taking-up-two-seats-on-a-crowded-train-how-would-you-have-handled-it/776948/35 "2017-01-12T19:15:41Z")
> [@Sailboat](#): > > What if the person baldly refuses to move the bag? I encountered that at least once. Train completely full, one man sitting in handicapped/elderly reserved seating, bag on the seat next to him. Asked him to move it, he flatly refused and grinned challengingly. Then you sit down on his lap and strike up a conversation. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2017, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/passenger-taking-up-two-seats-on-a-crowded-train-how-would-you-have-handled-it/776948/36 "2017-01-12T20:38:32Z")
I voted for “quietly seethe,” but there’s an option not on the list, which I would pursue: flag down the transit cop who is often a passenger, and ask him to look into it. Let him either move the bag or wake sleeping beauty. (Unlikely to be with a kiss…) ETA: Oops, I didn’t see “something else” on the poll. That would have been my vote. Color me hasty. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2017, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/passenger-taking-up-two-seats-on-a-crowded-train-how-would-you-have-handled-it/776948/37 "2017-01-12T21:35:52Z")
I once witnessed the entire front seats of a bus taken up by me (elderly and handicapped) and a group of young women on the bus. Really old person gets on the bus. Nobody moves. Lady: Could I please get a seat here in the front? Nobody acted like they even heard her. I was fuming, and damned if I was going to move when all those sweet young things (who did not look handicapped, elderly or pregnant) sat on their lazy butts. Driver: Someone please move so she can sit down. Finally one person does. I gave them hell, telling them that when they get old and person treat them like shit to remember this, and that no old person should ever have to ask for a seat. “You see them on the bus, you move your sorry ass.” I was fuming. Nobody said a word but as I got off the bus the driver said “Lady, I like your style.” ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2017, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/passenger-taking-up-two-seats-on-a-crowded-train-how-would-you-have-handled-it/776948/38 "2017-01-12T21:59:59Z")
> [@Sailboat](#): > > What if the person baldly refuses to move the bag? I encountered that at least once. Train completely full, one man sitting in handicapped/elderly reserved seating, bag on the seat next to him. Asked him to move it, he flatly refused and grinned challengingly. Option 1: keep asking him increasingly insulting questions about why he won’t move the bag, like is his kiddy porn in there because he looks like a panty-stealing baby fucker. Option 2: sit on the bag. Of course, I’m above-average size and chippy as fuck, so… ---
**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/passenger-taking-up-two-seats-on-a-crowded-train-how-would-you-have-handled-it/776948/39 "2017-01-13T02:47:23Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > This is why I carry a sharpie. I’m dying to know what you would do with it in these circumstances. Draw on her? ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 9:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/passenger-taking-up-two-seats-on-a-crowded-train-how-would-you-have-handled-it/776948/40 "2017-01-13T09:33:05Z")
> [@Sailboat](#): > > What if the person baldly refuses to move the bag? I encountered that at least once. Train completely full, one man sitting in handicapped/elderly reserved seating, bag on the seat next to him. Asked him to move it, he flatly refused and grinned challengingly. That’s never happened to me, but I suppose I’d do what I’ve done in similar situations: stood right there and said, flatly, “Move your bag. Please.” Then I’d repeat it again: “Move your bag. Please”. Then again, and again, and again, ignoring anything the person said that didn’t involve moving the bag, with the volume increasing each time until I was practically shouting. At this point, I’d have the attention of the entire car, and hopefully people would be saying stuff like “Just move your goddamn bag so he’ll shut up!”. If that doesn’t have any effect, at some point a conductor would come up and ask me what the problem was, at which point I’d smile sweetly and say, in a normal tone of voice, “Hi! I’f really like to sit here, but this gentleman won’t let me.” I think that would solve the problem. At least I’d have some fun. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/passenger-taking-up-two-seats-on-a-crowded-train-how-would-you-have-handled-it/776948.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/passenger-taking-up-two-seats-on-a-crowded-train-how-would-you-have-handled-it/776948.md?page=3)