# Passive Zombies **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 10, 2020, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/passive-zombies/847727 "2020-02-10T11:03:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2020, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/passive-zombies/847727/21 "2020-02-10T23:36:11Z")
> [@Jasmine](#): > > I think we’re all overlooking the fact that zombies, mindless and aimlessly wandering though they may be, will require energy for movement, which means that they are going to have to eat … SOMETHING. :eek: Well, if they look like they’re turning green, they could be mildly photosynthesizing. Stand still in the sun for a few days, shuffle for a few hours. ---
**Author:** ![Heracles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heracles/32/487_2.png) [@Heracles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heracles)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2020, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/passive-zombies/847727/22 "2020-02-11T01:30:14Z")
> [@Oredigger77](#): > > Slavery. They cannot be trusted to roam free so its best to confine them, guard them and if possible use them for the betterment of society. In the future people can decide to be buried whole and join the zombie underclass or **be creamated**. (Bolding mine) That last part involves a large blender, doesn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2020, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/passive-zombies/847727/23 "2020-02-11T03:06:48Z")
Their gender would have to be classified as LGBTQIAZ. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2020, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/passive-zombies/847727/24 "2020-02-11T03:20:53Z")
There’s a joke here involving in Cincinnati Bengals, but I’m too tired to construct it. ---
**Author:** ![bucketybuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@bucketybuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bucketybuck)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2020, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/passive-zombies/847727/25 "2020-02-11T08:33:55Z")
Getting out of coffins is inherent to being a zombie, I assumed it as a given. I’m surprised the first few answers were to burn them all, surely there is some way to exploit the zombies for the good or mankind? I should clarify though, I am talking about Romero style zombies which will probably disintegrate within a few months and that may limit the power generating capabilities. On the other hand, people are always dying, so there will always be fresh zombies for the turntables! I could imagine huge processing centres being set up. Out front is a hospital/funeral parlour where the dead and dying are brought for all the proper rituals. In the middle a scrap yard where surgeons scout for useful limbs and organs, while out back grapes are squashed in huge numbers. Really I am interested in the social implications. Just think, your recently departed family member is out there right now, wandering around a graveyard. How many people can really dismiss him/her as nothing more than a meatbag zombie? How many people would rather go and bring them home, especially if it was a kid? How many people will object to see these harmless “people” being herded up and burnt, how many protests by people who say zombies have feelings and equating zombies to cute little puppies? Also, how much room will all these dead people take up? ---
**Author:** ![GaryM](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garym/32/241_2.png) [@GaryM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaryM)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2020, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/passive-zombies/847727/26 "2020-02-11T15:12:59Z")
> [@Kovitlac](#): > > …There’s a sci-fi short story where they are used for menial jobs like waitstaff … So, you and I have been to the same restaurants? ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2020, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/passive-zombies/847727/27 "2020-02-11T16:11:55Z")
I’m NOT eating at a joint where zombies are waitstaff. It’s not like those hands are clean. Ewwwwww! All that dead skin sloughing off. Nope. Now if they want to employ them at the Sewer plant, that’s fine. ---
**Author:** ![Onyerbike](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/onyerbike/32/5402_2.png) [@Onyerbike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Onyerbike)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2020, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/passive-zombies/847727/28 "2020-02-12T00:16:02Z")
“After a general panic of indeterminate length things normalize and the pitchforks are put aside” Has the deceased issue actually been repaired in some way to allow locomotion? Because that has very big ramifications, incalculable really. If instead its rotting romero zombies all the way down with no apparent logic or structural integrity (but walking around nonetheless) then I would basically assume the rapture is upon us and its just our luck that God has a sense of humor and is into genre subversion. ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2020, 7:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/passive-zombies/847727/29 "2020-02-12T07:40:23Z")
Check out Fido, my kind of zombie movies > **[Fido (2006) - IMDb](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0457572/)** > > Fido: Directed by Andrew Currie. With David Kaye, Jan Skorzewski, Kevin Tyell, Andy Parkin. Space radiation turns the dead into Zombies. Zomcon fights zombies and finds ways to pacify and use them. On pre-teen Timmy's (Kesun Loder's) 1950s suburban... ---
**Author:** ![Ale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Ale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ale)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2020, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/passive-zombies/847727/30 "2020-02-12T07:55:46Z")
Tape a smartphone to their hands, nobody will take any notice of them. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2020, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/passive-zombies/847727/31 "2020-02-12T11:25:59Z")
If they were passive, I don’t think people would be that okay with killing them. Look at The Walking Dead, where they’re definitely not passive. Recall the character who refused to kill them because he held out hope that they could be “cured.” ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2020, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/passive-zombies/847727/32 "2020-02-12T14:05:31Z")
> [@Yllaria](#): > > Short term? Huge selfie competition. > > Zombie spotting. I think that a lot of people would be doing this even with regular, scary, zombies. ---
**Author:** ![orcenio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/orcenio/32/1036_2.png) [@orcenio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/orcenio)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2020, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/passive-zombies/847727/33 "2020-02-12T14:38:07Z")
> [@Green\_Bean](#): > > If they were passive, I don’t think people would be that okay with killing them. > > Look at The Walking Dead, where they’re definitely not passive. Recall the character who refused to kill them because he held out hope that they could be “cured.” The difference is that, unlike every single zombie narrative universe, we have pop culture knowledge about zombies and would use that to our advantage. **☣☣☣ The Rising Infected Walking Zombie Dying land of 1000 Corpses: 14 days after Event Alpha ☣☣☣** [ul] [li]Suburbanite Wife: _Enters home_ Hi, honey. Back from the store![/li][li]Zombie who slowly shuffling towards her: Uuuuuh.[/li][li]SW: Strange thing happened to me, old man Peters tried to bite my neck. Odd eh? Guess he back off his meds…[/li][li]Zombie: Uuuuuuuu…[/li][li]SW: Oh and the store was strangely empty I dunno wha… _Zombie chomps her_ Ahhhhhhhhhh!!![/li][/ul] In our universe, the dead would never get to the point of critical mass to take down society. The military, police, private militia, lone armed randos would easily cure the walking dead back to their regular status of dead. ---
**Author:** ![Patch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a183cd/32.png) [@Patch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patch)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2020, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/passive-zombies/847727/34 "2020-02-12T14:55:06Z")
Society would probably not kill them because they’re our former loved ones. That’s one of the ways things got out of control in the original _Dead_ movies. People hid and protected dead loved ones, and that helps the infection build and spread. There would be a lot of resistance to that, but the ‘don’t kill them’ front would be there. I would kill them immediately. My mind goes back to _The Day of the Triffids_ book. The triffids are already on earth, having come from a meteorite. They’re dangerous, but are laregely managed and even available for purchase. Then the event happens, and there’s no one to manage the triffids anymore. They take over the earth. Looking at zombies walking around, all I would be thinking about is the same damn scenario happening. The dead aren’t supposed to be walking about. They can easily become a huge problem should they go bitey. ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2020, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/passive-zombies/847727/35 "2020-02-12T18:51:20Z")
> [@Patch](#): > > Society would probably not kill them because they’re our former loved ones. That’s one of the ways things got out of control in the original _Dead_ movies. People hid and protected dead loved ones, and that helps the infection build and spread. There would be a lot of resistance to that, but the ‘don’t kill them’ front would be there. > > I would kill them immediately. > > My mind goes back to _The Day of the Triffids_ book. The triffids are already on earth, having come from a meteorite. They’re dangerous, but are laregely managed and even available for purchase. Then the event happens, and there’s no one to manage the triffids anymore. They take over the earth. > > Looking at zombies walking around, all I would be thinking about is the same damn scenario happening. The dead aren’t supposed to be walking about. They can easily become a huge problem should they go bitey. Yes, perhaps there’s an extended latency phase, and then they go full Romero after everybody’s let their guard down. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2020, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/passive-zombies/847727/36 "2020-02-13T16:12:46Z")
> [@Yllaria](#): > > Short term? Huge selfie competition. > > Zombie spotting. > [@ftg](#): > > I think that a lot of people would be doing this even with regular, scary, zombies. True, but those would be YouTube videos. ---
**Author:** ![Kiber](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kiber/32/317_2.png) [@Kiber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiber)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2020, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/passive-zombies/847727/37 "2020-02-14T18:39:03Z")
Passive zombies? Walk! Walk for your lives!!! ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2020, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/passive-zombies/847727/38 "2020-02-15T22:42:52Z")
Now I’m trying to remember which webcomic had adventurers running across a huge dire snail. ---
**Author:** ![RioRico](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f04885/32.png) [@RioRico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RioRico)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2020, 7:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/passive-zombies/847727/39 "2020-02-16T07:44:18Z")
> [@Kiber](#): > > Passive zombies? Walk! Walk for your lives!!! Heinlein’s time traveler from 1960 to 2000 in THE DOOR INTO SUMMER reads news of “zombie” drugs creating mindless slave laborers. IIRC a crew boss is quoted: “Them boys h’ain’t drugged - they just STUPID!” Late-phase capitalism will love zombie drugs and passive, uncomplaining workers. Fill the Amazon fulfillment centers with them! No complaints or strikes! Business is great! ---
**Author:** ![Ignotus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ecc23a/32.png) [@Ignotus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ignotus)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2020, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/passive-zombies/847727/40 "2020-02-18T02:41:13Z")
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