# Pat Boone is a fucking asshole **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 31, 2009, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pat-boone-is-a-fucking-asshole/498216 "2009-05-31T01:00:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Frodo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frodo/32/302_2.png) [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2009, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pat-boone-is-a-fucking-asshole/498216/61 "2009-06-01T19:34:50Z")
I’m Spartacus! ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2009, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pat-boone-is-a-fucking-asshole/498216/62 "2009-06-01T19:37:01Z")
And so’s my wife. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2009, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pat-boone-is-a-fucking-asshole/498216/63 "2009-06-01T20:47:16Z")
I lost my faith the first (and only) time I heard Pat Boone sing(?) _Hearts Of Stone_. I lost whatever I had left when I heard Buck Owens sing(?) _Bridge Over Troubled Water_. I’ve never recovered from that. ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2009, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pat-boone-is-a-fucking-asshole/498216/64 "2009-06-01T21:06:35Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Who, BTW, were married in a secret ceremony in Warsaw. But the breakup was messy . . . See where gay marriage leads?! It leads to really really REALLY old senile bastards, making shit recordings of dubious song selections, sung in a horrible manner, leaving them as washed up has beens, playing tiny towns nobody heard of. Boone wasn’t ever that good a singer to begin with. Epic Fail. I wouldn’t even listen to his “music”. So why would I listen to his demented ramblings? Pack him off to the old folks home before he hurts himself. ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pat-boone-is-a-fucking-asshole/498216/65 "2009-06-30T17:52:51Z")
Looks like he’s a [Birther](http://www.salon.com/politics/war_room/2009/06/29/boone_birther/index.html) now, too. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pat-boone-is-a-fucking-asshole/498216/66 "2009-06-30T18:10:48Z")
If either group wins, Americans will take it up the ass… Seems like a perfectly cromulent analogy to me 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pat-boone-is-a-fucking-asshole/498216/67 "2009-06-30T19:14:54Z")
> [@The\_Hamster\_King](#): > > He’s just an old queen. > [@zoid](#): > > Hey now! Let’s not drag Freddy Mercury into this. Well, he’s certainly not gonna walk in. ---
**Author:** ![kelly5078](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/6f9a4e/32.png) [@kelly5078](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kelly5078)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pat-boone-is-a-fucking-asshole/498216/68 "2009-06-30T22:33:40Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > You can check out his tour schedule for performance dates, if you like. > > 06.14.09 - Ontario, Canada - Greater Napanee Summerfest > 09.25.09 - Shipshewana, IN - Shipshewana Town Center So he’s on a double bill with Yngwie Malmsteen, then. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2009, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pat-boone-is-a-fucking-asshole/498216/69 "2009-07-01T03:19:34Z")
Since she learned, at a young age, of the trail of Little Pats he supposedly left, balanced by his book, ['Twixt Twelve and Twenty,](http://www.amazon.com/Twixt-Twelve-Twenty-Pat-Boone/dp/0139349928) my wife has fantasied about punching Pat Boone in the stomach. Some years ago, that fate became her default punishment for hypocrites and assholes. ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2009, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pat-boone-is-a-fucking-asshole/498216/70 "2009-07-01T07:43:11Z")
> [@](#): > > …and my collection of white loafers. Loafers? I could swear they were buckskin laceups. Not that I ever listened to Pat Boone or anything. Who? ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2009, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pat-boone-is-a-fucking-asshole/498216/71 "2009-07-02T01:47:52Z")
> [@kelly5078](#): > > So he’s on a double bill with Yngwie Malmsteen, then. I don’t know why, but I find this to be uproariously funny. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2009, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pat-boone-is-a-fucking-asshole/498216/72 "2009-07-02T01:50:30Z")
> [@Snowboarder\_Bo](#): > > Ya know, if you sing this in a Peter Griffin kind of voice, it actually rhymes. If you’re righteous it comes with 72 versions when you die. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2009, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pat-boone-is-a-fucking-asshole/498216/73 "2009-07-02T01:54:42Z")
I wonder if Pat believes in this as strongly as he did Acne-Statin. And he cares so much about the normal traditional family unit he accepted money to sing the Ozzie penned themesong to _The Osbournes_ (the reality show of his neighbor, America’s favorite drugged up overly permissive divorced-and-remarried family man). ---
**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2009, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pat-boone-is-a-fucking-asshole/498216/74 "2009-07-02T02:37:16Z")
In here at the tail end of this thread: trying to find a Pat Boone song I could rework the lyrics on for some humor— whoo boy, that’s a hard row to hoe, what a Snoozefest. And, though I saw a couple that would be do-able, this one stands by itself ["Wang-Dang Taffyapple Tango (Mambo Cha-Cha-Cha)](http://www.lyricsdownload.com/pat-boone-wang-dang-taffyapple-tango-mambo-cha-cha-cha-lyrics.html), apparently with some success at #18 in 1960. Time for a timely redo, with all credit to Pat’s version. ---
**Author:** ![Frostillicus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Frostillicus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frostillicus)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2009, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pat-boone-is-a-fucking-asshole/498216/75 "2009-07-02T03:09:44Z")
> [@Gyrate](#): > > That does it - I’m going to go right out and burn all my Pat Boone records and my collection of white loafers. And I’m going to boycott all products made in Shipshewana, Indiana. > > That’ll show him. This could seriously impact the butter churn industry. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2009, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pat-boone-is-a-fucking-asshole/498216/76 "2009-07-02T04:32:12Z")
Conestoga Wagon sales are going to plummet from this century’s peak sales of just last year – 2. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2009, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pat-boone-is-a-fucking-asshole/498216/77 "2009-07-02T04:54:08Z")
I think my favorites among his recordings from his glory days would be one of the following: _Pat Boone: Keepin’ It White_ (1958) _Pat Boone Fucks Up the Blues_ (1958) _Pat Boone: What a Friend We Have in Blandness_ (1958) _Pat Boone Fucks Up the Best of Chuck Berry_ (1958) ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2009, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pat-boone-is-a-fucking-asshole/498216/78 "2009-07-02T05:09:31Z")
Say what you will about Pat Boone, but anyone who killed at bear the age of three is OK with me. And that splitting a tree with a thrown tomahawk? Classic. Still, he does have a strange toupee. You think the man could afford human hair. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2009, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pat-boone-is-a-fucking-asshole/498216/79 "2009-07-02T05:21:33Z")
I really don’t see how Davy Crockett fits into this anywhere. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2009, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pat-boone-is-a-fucking-asshole/498216/80 "2009-07-02T05:38:35Z")
Pat Boone is, by definition, the past. Who the fuck cares what he has to say? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pat-boone-is-a-fucking-asshole/498216.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pat-boone-is-a-fucking-asshole/498216.md?page=5)