# Pat, I'd like to buy a shift key ... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 11, 2009, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pat-id-like-to-buy-a-shift-key/517230 "2009-11-11T21:14:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2009, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pat-id-like-to-buy-a-shift-key/517230/21 "2009-11-12T01:27:36Z")
I remember… a poster… who typed a lot of ellipses… in his text… for reasons that… escaped me… The impression I was always left with was a person who has a slow sleepy voice that trailed off at random intervals or was frequently uncertain and hesitant about the very argument he was supposedly advancing. It literally tired me to read his work. ---
**Author:** ![dhkendall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9adbd/32.png) [@dhkendall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dhkendall)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2009, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pat-id-like-to-buy-a-shift-key/517230/22 "2009-11-12T03:29:36Z")
I don’t think homophones should Mary. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![BorgHunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@BorgHunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BorgHunter)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2009, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pat-id-like-to-buy-a-shift-key/517230/23 "2009-11-12T04:09:22Z")
For some reason, I tend to use a lot of em dashes for parentheticals. The reasons I do this—although it’s perfectly cromulent English—have been lost to the sands of time. However, I Use Capital Letters and spel things gud, goddammit! ---
**Author:** ![Electronic\_Chaos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Electronic\_Chaos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electronic_Chaos)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2009, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pat-id-like-to-buy-a-shift-key/517230/24 "2009-11-12T04:22:53Z")
I have to give the guy credit, though. He’s taken what amounts to an intro to philosophy student’s weed-inspired question and turned it into an interesting discussion on consciousness… all without capital letters! ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2009, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pat-id-like-to-buy-a-shift-key/517230/25 "2009-11-12T05:11:21Z")
I completely agree with the OP. Sure, I might know what someone who can’t be bothered to spell or use the ‘shift’ key or capitalise things like “I” and proper nouns means, but I still place a lot less value on their thoughts and opinions than people who have spelt/capitalised/etc. properly. And yes, I know, there’s lots of people out there with dyslexia or who are Shit At Spelling™ (or the related malady, Shit At Typing™) but the vast, vast majority of people who don’t follow conventional rules of spelling and grammar on the internet are, IMHO, just being lazy (or actively uninterested)- combined with not being able to spell properly. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2009, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pat-id-like-to-buy-a-shift-key/517230/26 "2009-11-12T06:55:01Z")
> [@Electronic\_Chaos](#): > > I have to give the guy credit, though. He’s taken what amounts to an intro to philosophy student’s weed-inspired question and turned it into an interesting discussion on consciousness… all without capital letters! He’s a regular e.e. skinner! ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2009, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pat-id-like-to-buy-a-shift-key/517230/27 "2009-11-12T11:44:37Z")
> [@Martini\_Enfield](#): > > I completely agree with the OP. Sure, I might know what someone who can’t be bothered to spell or use the ‘shift’ key or capitalise things like “I” and proper nouns means, but I still place a lot less value on their thoughts and opinions than people who have spelt/capitalised/etc. properly. I concur. Using the shift key is really not all that burdensome, and if you’re too lazy to do that, I’m not inclined to give much weight to your Deep Thoughts. Typing that way in IMs to your friends is fine, if your friends are okay with that. But personally, I consider typing that way in a place where one is generally expected to write like a grownup to be an act of passive aggression. “y’all ain’t the boss a’me! I do wut i want!!!1!” ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2009, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pat-id-like-to-buy-a-shift-key/517230/28 "2009-11-12T12:30:12Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > I concur. Using the shift key is really not all that burdensome, and if you’re too lazy to do that, I’m not inclined to give much weight to your Deep Thoughts. > > Typing that way in IMs to your friends is fine, if your friends are okay with that. But personally, I consider typing that way in a place where one is generally expected to write like a grownup to be an act of passive aggression. “y’all ain’t the boss a’me! I do wut i want!!!1!” Exactly. Obviously typing in IMs is going to be fast and informal, and so as long as your friends are OK with it then the “netspeak” isn’t an issue- I don’t think anyone expects you to type like Shakespeare\* in that sort of situation. But in a “public” forum, you should at least _try_ and spell/capitalise properly. To do otherwise, IMHO, is the internet equivalent of hitching up your pants, taking the hayseed out of your mouth, hooking your thumbs under your suspenders, and saying (in a deep, redneck accent) _“Ah maht not have a fancy North’n edumacation, but ahs got mahself an opinny-yon an’ y’all should lissin’ to 'it, y’hear?”_\*\* BTW, am I the only one that has to read any sort of “Whatever! I do what I want!” type phrase in the voice of Eric Cartman? 😃 \*Assuming he had a typewriter or keyboard or something, possibly invented by Da Vinci. Don’t get any ideas, Mr. Brown… 😉 \*\*For the humour impaired, I’m deliberately parodying a stereotype, not implying all people from the Southern US are dumb rednecks, M’kay? Jeff Foxworthy’s made an entire career out of this sort of thing, you know…) ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2009, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pat-id-like-to-buy-a-shift-key/517230/29 "2009-11-12T13:29:13Z")
> [@Martini\_Enfield](#): > > BTW, am I the only one that has to read any sort of “Whatever! I do what I want!” type phrase in the voice of Eric Cartman? 😃 No, not at all. > [@dhkendall](#): > > I don’t think homophones should Mary. The more I see this post, the funnier I think it is. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2009, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pat-id-like-to-buy-a-shift-key/517230/30 "2009-11-12T13:51:43Z")
> [@Martini\_Enfield](#): > > BTW, am I the only one that has to read any sort of “Whatever! I do what I want!” type phrase in the voice of Eric Cartman? 😃 I certainly hope not. I wrote it in the voice of Eric Cartman. ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2009, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pat-id-like-to-buy-a-shift-key/517230/31 "2009-11-12T14:19:06Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > I concur. Using the shift key is really not all that burdensome, and if you’re too lazy to do that, I’m not inclined to give much weight to your Deep Thoughts. > > Typing that way in IMs to your friends is fine, if your friends are okay with that. But personally, I consider typing that way in a place where one is generally expected to write like a grownup to be an act of passive aggression. “y’all ain’t the boss a’me! I do wut i want!!!1!” Excuse me while I sacrifice a cock to **Gaudere**. I couldn’t agree with you more. Years ago, I told a new poster here that the only way we have to know you is by what you write and how you write it. In the real world, you may be a highly intelligent person who uses beautiful, perfectly correct grammar, but if you don’t capitalize or use proper punctuation here because it’s too much effort, why on earth should we make the effort to decipher what you write? ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2009, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pat-id-like-to-buy-a-shift-key/517230/32 "2009-11-12T15:02:13Z")
> [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](#): > > I hate it when people mix up there homophones and cant figure out wear to put apostrophe’s. Drives me up the freaking _wall_. Even when I’m the one doing it. _Especially_ when I’m the one doing it. You misspelled _ecspecially._ ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2009, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pat-id-like-to-buy-a-shift-key/517230/33 "2009-11-12T16:07:12Z")
> [@dhkendall](#): > > virgin … No space before an ellipsis. > [@](#): > > With the text-speak and the [lack of capitalization](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=539219) (and often punctuation) to the frequent misspellings (here/hear, you’re/your, etc). This sentence doesn’t make grammatical sense. First off, it’s a fragment–although that would be acceptable if you were writing conversationally. But more impotantly, you’ve used a nonsense construction of “with [example] and [example] \*\*to \*\*[example].” > [@](#): > > writing normal \*Normal \*is an adjective. Since you’re using it to modify a verb, you should have said _normally_, which is the adverbial form of the word. > [@](#): > > a **CLUE???** ) but (from what I hear, thankfully I’m several years removed already) they do it on school assignments too! You missed commas before the _but_ and before the _too_. > [@](#): > > any more This should be written as one word: _anymore_. > [@](#): > > but they’re allowed to _graduate_ like that!!! \*They \*would seem to refer to the teachers, not to the students. > [@](#): > > and continue blissfully and blatantly being wrong Should be _and continuing_. TL;DR version: Glass houses, neighbor. Glass houses. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2009, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pat-id-like-to-buy-a-shift-key/517230/34 "2009-11-12T16:10:41Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > But more impotantly Don’t bring his ED into this, he’s got enough problems. ---
**Author:** ![koufax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7ea924/32.png) [@koufax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koufax)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2009, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pat-id-like-to-buy-a-shift-key/517230/35 "2009-11-12T16:11:26Z")
> [@dhkendall](#): > > Yay! My first pit post! Be gentle, I’m a virgin … > > Gar, but the way the youth today write drives me up a wall! With the text-speak and the [lack of capitalization](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=539219) (and often punctuation) to the frequent misspellings (here/hear, you’re/your, etc). It’s bad enough that they do it in public on a public message board (where every-freaking-body else is writing normal, isn’t that, maybe, a **CLUE???** ) but (from what I hear, thankfully I’m several years removed already) they do it on school assignments too! And for some reason, the teachers don’t even correct it any more, but they’re allowed to _graduate_ like that!!! Subtitle of this Pit post should be “I pit the (North) American educational system.” > > And, the part that really got my dander up, in the above-linked thread, where said poster was gently reminded of their aversion to the shift key, they replied: > > … GAH! … > > What. The. Fuck!!! > > It’s like being reminded that two plus two is four, not five, and giving “that’s OK, people know what I mean and I don’t want to bother fixing it” as a response and continue blissfully and blatantly being wrong. > > … GAH! … > > :mad: he may not capitalize, but his post was much clearer than your mess of !!! and … and // and - and sentences that should have been in new paragraphs so that your message was clearer to the reader. this is a message board, not a business letter or a college paper people have written CONVERSATIONS here and i for one want to hear everyone’s IDEAS, so in my opinion, as long as the idea is clear, who fucking cares if they capitalize? ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2009, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pat-id-like-to-buy-a-shift-key/517230/36 "2009-11-12T16:20:43Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > Don’t bring his ED into this, he’s got enough problems. You’re right–that was cruel. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2009, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pat-id-like-to-buy-a-shift-key/517230/37 "2009-11-12T16:35:38Z")
> [@koufax](#): > > people have written CONVERSATIONS here and i for one want to hear everyone’s IDEAS, so in my opinion, as long as the idea is clear, who fucking cares if they capitalize? To a lot of us, proper punctuation and capitalization makes it easier to understand, and therefore more clear. So that’s both who and why we fucking care. ---
**Author:** ![sqweels](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f19dbf/32.png) [@sqweels](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sqweels)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2009, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pat-id-like-to-buy-a-shift-key/517230/38 "2009-11-12T16:50:50Z")
> [@dhkendall](#): > > I don’t think homophones should Mary. I Mary _and_ Jane. Not there there’s anything wrong with that. ---
**Author:** ![koufax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7ea924/32.png) [@koufax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koufax)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2009, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pat-id-like-to-buy-a-shift-key/517230/39 "2009-11-12T17:14:32Z")
> [@Contrapuntal](#): > > To a lot of us, proper punctuation and capitalization makes it easier to understand, and therefore more clear. So that’s both who and why we fucking care. didn’t you mean “make it easier”, not “makes it easier”? ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2009, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pat-id-like-to-buy-a-shift-key/517230/40 "2009-11-12T17:16:10Z")
> [@koufax](#): > > didn’t you mean “make it easier”, not “makes it easier”? Yes. Thanks for pointing that out. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pat-id-like-to-buy-a-shift-key/517230.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pat-id-like-to-buy-a-shift-key/517230.md?page=3)