# Patent Issue

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/patent-issue/76105>\
**Category:** Factual Questions\
**Created:** [August 13, 2001, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/patent-issue/76105 "2001-08-13T21:40:41Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 5\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![The\_Anti-Clique](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47c2d/32.png) [@The\_Anti-Clique](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Anti-Clique)\
**Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/patent-issue/76105/1 "2001-08-13T21:40:41Z")

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I thought about patenting the cough, or maybe the sneeze, so that when someone did one of the above they would be forced to pay me royalties everytime. Upon further review, however, I determined that this would be too easy and I would become too rich too fast for any real satisfaction.  
My question is whether or not the US Patent Bureau has taken the obvious step of patenting the patent… Surely they have, but one never knows when dealing with the government. If not, can I patent the idea and still be paid (As it is a thing or idea)?  
Å

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**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\
**Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/patent-issue/76105/2 "2001-08-13T21:43:48Z")

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Well, since I happened to be right there for another thread, here’s the facts: [http://www.uspto.gov/web/offices/com/iip/data.htm#What%20can%20and%20cannot%20be%20patented](http://www.uspto.gov/web/offices/com/iip/data.htm#What%20can%20and%20cannot%20be%20patented)

Hope this helps.

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**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\
**Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/patent-issue/76105/3 "2001-08-13T21:46:08Z")

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Well, hell.

[Try this]([http://www.uspto.gov/web/offices/com/iip/data.htm#What](http://www.uspto.gov/web/offices/com/iip/data.htm#What) can and cannot be patented)

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**Author:** ![The\_Anti-Clique](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47c2d/32.png) [@The\_Anti-Clique](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Anti-Clique)\
**Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/patent-issue/76105/4 "2001-08-13T23:56:05Z")

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So I go there… But unfortunately, it doesn’t (Unsurprisngly) tell me why it gives certain rules or not. One of the laws, for example, is that the product must be useful to society. Who determines that? This leaves even more questions: How did things like Halloween costumes or flamingo lawn ornaments get patented? I’m not seeing the benefit of a flamingo lawn ornament to a penny-pincher on the streets of Seattle.

Oh well. Somethings may never be explained. This included.

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**Author:** ![BobT](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e8cbc/32.png) [@BobT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobT)\
**Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/patent-issue/76105/5 "2001-08-14T00:06:48Z")

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Halloween costumes and flamingo lawn ornaments can qualify for design patents. What is protected is the particular ornamental design of the object, not its use.

A utility patent must be

1. new
2. useful
3. not obvious to a practitioner in that art

You can’t patent anything that just involves a human movement. E.g., you can’t patent a new dance step you thought up.

There is a third type of patent and those are for plants, but they are the least common and are used to grant protection to new varieties of flowers for the most part.