# Pathetic Facebook angst **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 3, 2010, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pathetic-facebook-angst/555882 "2010-10-03T02:18:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![cerberus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@cerberus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cerberus)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pathetic-facebook-angst/555882/21 "2010-10-05T06:19:03Z")
I’d rather call them members - “friends” is a bit much, and dismembering members is a more interesting turn of phrase than de-friend. ---
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2011, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pathetic-facebook-angst/555882/22 "2011-02-14T03:40:02Z")
on Facebook tonight, found out HS crush is having 2nd baby, bums me out fro some reason. The “friend” who caused the angst that prompted this thread changed her profile pic, evidently has a bf! ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2011, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pathetic-facebook-angst/555882/23 "2011-02-14T04:22:34Z")
It’s time to make new friends IRL, not pine after people you haven’t known for 15 years, if you were even friends back then. There’s no connection there, just your imagination. It can only come across as strange to them. Move on. ---
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2011, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pathetic-facebook-angst/555882/24 "2011-02-14T04:28:38Z")
exactly! I readily acknowledge my loserness. Many of my “friends” are family and people I see semi-regularly. I hope returning to college will help, though the women will probably jsut make it worse. ---
**Author:** ![mittu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecd19e/32.png) [@mittu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mittu)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2011, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pathetic-facebook-angst/555882/25 "2011-02-14T04:40:15Z")
> [@etv78](#): > > exactly! I readily acknowledge my loserness. Many of my “friends” are family and people I see semi-regularly. I hope returning to college will help, though the women will probably jsut make it worse. Women make everything worse! I’m not suggesting that you cross to other side but it’s something that holds true disabled or not, they make everything worse until you find the right one and then they make everything better. I haven’t found the right one either but I gather that when you do, it’s pretty damn cool. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2011, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pathetic-facebook-angst/555882/26 "2011-02-14T04:58:11Z")
> [@DMark](#): > > I quit Facebook partly for that reason - I liken it to the Thanksgiving Dinner From Hell…people I don’t want to be in contact with, who seem to want me to be in contact with them. Got ridiculous - odd cousins, former students, high school classmates I have not seen or spoken with in decades - no thanks; just what I need, a page full of people who have nothing in common all chit-chatting about crap I have no interest in reading. > > Go ahead - call me an old fart. > > Fuck Facebook and the entire concept behind it. > > Wanna communicate? Send me an email, or - horror of horrors - CALL ME! > > BTW, quitting Facebook is like telling your cult leader you want to stop drinking the Kool-Aid…they write you an email, “are you SURE you want to quit? We will save your page when you return to us…” This was going to be my advice, too - when someone you don’t like wants to friend you on Facebook, the only real solution is to cancel your Facebook account and never go back. Well, it worked for me, anyway. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2011, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pathetic-facebook-angst/555882/27 "2011-02-14T05:18:19Z")
It’s not an unwanted contact, just that I looked at her profile, and interpreted it. ---
**Author:** ![Invisible\_Chimp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f05b48/32.png) [@Invisible\_Chimp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Invisible_Chimp)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2011, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pathetic-facebook-angst/555882/28 "2011-02-14T06:08:49Z")
Nobody sends me friend requests because, even if they wanted to, my real name is so common that it’d be hard to ID which one is me. So everyone of my friends is handpicked. I believe I have one outstanding request for someone I worked with at my most recent job. He doesn’t appear to use Facebook often, or at all anymore, so I don’t really care. My best friend from HS finally confirmed me recently after I sent him a request months ago. I just broke the 100 friends mark. I notice when someone defriends me. I’ve been defriended 3 times. The first time was due to some family drama and when that was sorted out I was refriended. The other two bothered me until I figured out that they were people I didn’t care that much about. ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2011, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pathetic-facebook-angst/555882/29 "2011-02-14T08:15:24Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > This was going to be my advice, too - when someone you don’t like wants to friend you on Facebook, the only real solution is to cancel your Facebook account and never go back. Well, it worked for me, anyway. 🙂 I think a lot of people put too much thought into Facebook. If I want to be friends with someone, I will send them a request (and probably promptly forget about it)/accept their friend request. If I don’t, I ignore the request. I am regularly sent friend requests from people I don’t recognize at all, and only after a great deal of poking around do I figure out that it’s someone who was a year behind me in high school, or someone I studied abroad with in college. I ignore these requests. Probably with the assumption that the people who sent them forgot about them as promptly as I would have. If someone annoys me a lot, I defriend them. Someone I picked up from somewhere (I think it may have been a Doper, actually) regularly posted lots of whiny and self-pitying status updates. After awhile, he was got on my nerves, and given that I couldn’t even figure out how I was supposed to know this guy, I defriended him. He sent me a note asking why, which I ignored. I don’t have to justify my Facebook friending decisions to anyone. Also, I’m a bit of an asshole. ---
**Author:** ![SecondJudith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5ac83/32.png) [@SecondJudith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SecondJudith)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2011, 9:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pathetic-facebook-angst/555882/30 "2011-02-14T09:24:38Z")
> [@Kyla](#): > > Someone I picked up from somewhere (I think it may have been a Doper, actually) regularly posted lots of whiny and self-pitying status updates. After awhile, he was got on my nerves, and given that I couldn’t even figure out how I was supposed to know this guy, I defriended him. He sent me a note asking why, which I ignored. I don’t have to justify my Facebook friending decisions to anyone. > > Also, I’m a bit of an asshole. If that was intended to induce paranoia, well done. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2011, 10:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pathetic-facebook-angst/555882/31 "2011-02-14T10:12:27Z")
[Stan Marsh] Dude, _fuck_ Facebook, seriously. [/Stan Marsh] also, get off my lawn, I don’t even own a TV, etc. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![bucketybuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@bucketybuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bucketybuck)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2011, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pathetic-facebook-angst/555882/32 "2011-02-14T11:20:14Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > If you wouldn’t do it in real life, you don’t do it there. Facebook isnt real life. That may be stating the obvious but it needs saying. If you arent interacting with the person in real life, then no harm to you, but looking at their status updates isnt a substitute. Having somebody be one of 400/500 “friends” isnt staying in touch, and “liking” their statue updates isnt interacting. It just isnt real, and its silly to act as if it is. I like Facebook (pun intended). I met a lot of people when traveling, and its interesting to sometimes look at their profiles and see where they are at x number of years later. But they are tenuous connections only, worth exactly what I paid for them. Real life? I once deleted 25 people from my friends list, just for the pure hell of it, because I was joking around with a friend in real life. I picked 25 names by chance and just deleted them. Is that rude? If so who gives a fuck, I hadnt spoken to them in years, I wasnt deleting friends, I was deleting little graphics on a screen that meant very little in reality. ---
**Author:** ![scareyfaerie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scareyfaerie/32/3135_2.png) [@scareyfaerie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scareyfaerie)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2011, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pathetic-facebook-angst/555882/33 "2011-02-14T12:55:05Z")
I made no attempt to keep in touch with people I knew at school once I’d left. Why they think after 25 years I’d want to know what they’re doing, is quite beyond me. ---
**Author:** ![kiz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7feea3/32.png) [@kiz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kiz)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2011, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pathetic-facebook-angst/555882/34 "2011-02-14T13:11:00Z")
> [@Zulema](#): > > Some people just aren’t nostalgic about their past. People from my high school have asked me to friend them but really, unless we were friends in high school, I don’t care. If I cared whether they were in my life they would be. Even people who I hung around with all the time in high school I don’t really care if I hear from them if we haven’t talked since then. There’s just too much distance now and any connection is gone. It’s like talking to complete strangers but more awkward because you feel like there should be more. And this is precisely why I have as little to do with FB as possible 🙂 Seriously – I have an account, I will look around there every other day, I might post a status message once in a blue moon, but that’s it. Nobody from HS has tried to find me. I haven’t tried finding anyone either. Ditto with college – except for my roommate, I’m not friends with anyone else. That’s water under the bridge. I have no need constantly revisit, which is what I’d be doing if I friended them. ---
**Author:** ![Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8c91f0/32.png) [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bam_Boo_Gut)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2011, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pathetic-facebook-angst/555882/35 "2011-02-14T14:29:05Z")
> [@cerberus](#): > > I’d rather call them members - “friends” is a bit much, and dismembering members is a more interesting turn of phrase than de-friend. Likey 😃 My daughter talks about “culling”. ---
**Author:** ![Candyman74](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ad7895/32.png) [@Candyman74](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Candyman74)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2011, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pathetic-facebook-angst/555882/36 "2011-02-14T16:18:53Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > It would be the same as making a bunch of friends, and then suddenly running away from home, without providing any way to be contacted. It’s really not the same as that. At all. ---
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2011, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pathetic-facebook-angst/555882/37 "2011-02-14T18:52:05Z")
I’m a little aggravated at all the friend requests I get from people in high school. I was a pariah in high school and I hated every minute of it. The two friend requests I’ve accepted from high school people were the two people who were marginally decent to me back then. The rest I’ve ignored. ---
**Author:** ![maplekiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a4c791/32.png) [@maplekiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maplekiwi)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2011, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pathetic-facebook-angst/555882/38 "2011-02-14T19:58:07Z")
After the Zora incident (she defriended me & my son thank Christ & I’ve now blocked her) [Have you never wanted to see or speak to someone again? - In My Humble Opinion - Straight Dope Message Board](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=596919) I’m certainly going to be more careful about who I add now. & last week I was defriended by a nephew. I was surprised how much it hurt. I’ve blocked him as well - may take it off when I’ve finished pouting. I’m assuming the reason is that he is off to uni & doesn’t want his aunt to see what he’s up to, but who knows. I’m definitely not adding anyone young again. In fact unless my best friend decides to get it I’m not intending to add anyone else at all. I would get rid of the damn thing altogether, except I’m using it to keep in touch with family in Canada & its the easiest way to get hold of my daughter. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2011, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pathetic-facebook-angst/555882/39 "2011-02-14T20:53:41Z")
> [@Candyman74](#): > > It’s really not the same as that. At all. Ah, the stupid things you’ll write when you’re reeling from a real friend who unadded you, full well knowing that you consider unadding people rude. (As we’d just finished having a conversation about that the last time I was on.) I still do think it’s rude, but it seems to be accepted as part of the culture. I still don’t see any reason why words on a screen are less important than words in the air. I don’t see why we have different standards on how we treat people online than how we treat people in real life. And, in real life, I would not intentionally do something that would cut you off from contacting me–unless I specifically did not like you. So I will not do it on Facebook. ---
**Author:** ![leftfield6](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leftfield6/32/18780_2.png) [@leftfield6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leftfield6)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2011, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pathetic-facebook-angst/555882/40 "2011-02-14T20:59:06Z")
> [@ScareyFaerie](#): > > I made no attempt to keep in touch with people I knew at school once I’d left. Why they think after 25 years I’d want to know what they’re doing, is quite beyond me. This. When I first signed up for FB, I wound up with over 100 friends within a few days. Then it hit me. How many of these people would I seriously be willing to help move, the ultimate “friend” test. I went through my list, and deleted like 70% of them. I didn’t contact any of them to tell them what I was doing, because, lets be honest, swapping friend requests ain’t exactly contact to begin with. I owed them nothing, I expected the same from them. In retrospect, I could have just hidden their posts, but hey moderation is for pussies. I still have a FB account, but haven’t posted anything in months. My “real” friends know that FB is not the way to reach me. I still get friend requests all the time from high school people that I barely recognize their name. Seriously, why? I just ignore them. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pathetic-facebook-angst/555882.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pathetic-facebook-angst/555882.md?page=3)