# Pathetic Facebook angst **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 3, 2010, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pathetic-facebook-angst/555882 "2010-10-03T02:18:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2011, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pathetic-facebook-angst/555882/41 "2011-02-14T21:19:56Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > And, in real life, I would not intentionally do something that would cut you off from contacting me–unless I specifically did not like you. So I will not do it on Facebook. Depending on your privacy settings, de-friending someone doesn’t do that. Yes, you could hide them or use some other settings to diminish their impact on your wall, but why bother? But the main thing, IMO, is that even though Facebook chose to use the word “friend” to describe the relationship, it’s not equivalent to real world friendship. Facebook users establish what that relationship means and some people set a fairly low bar for adding and removing Facebook friends. ---
**Author:** ![FrancisCastle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b4bc9f/32.png) [@FrancisCastle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FrancisCastle)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2011, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pathetic-facebook-angst/555882/42 "2011-02-14T21:25:43Z")
My FB account is an alias (not supposed to do that, I know) but all I really use it for is to talk to a couple of people and play Lexulous. I have less than 15 friends on there, and really only 2 or 3 that I chat with on a regular basis. When FB first came out, I was one of those people with hundreds of friends and yes, I was totally addicted. I canceled my real account, opened the alias and gave myself “restrictions” so it wouldn’t happen again! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2011, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pathetic-facebook-angst/555882/43 "2011-02-14T23:14:03Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > I still do think it’s rude, but it seems to be accepted as part of the culture. I still don’t see any reason why words on a screen are less important than words in the air. I don’t see why we have different standards on how we treat people online than how we treat people in real life. > > And, in real life, I would not intentionally do something that would cut you off from contacting me–unless I specifically did not like you. So I will not do it on Facebook. When you can no longer tell the difference between real life and online life, it’s time to unplug. ---
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2011, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pathetic-facebook-angst/555882/44 "2011-02-15T00:17:33Z")
I can definitely tell the difference! ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2011, 8:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pathetic-facebook-angst/555882/45 "2011-02-15T08:56:28Z")
> [@Munch](#): > > When you can no longer tell the difference between real life and online life, it’s time to unplug. But that’s the point. There is no difference. Being online doesn’t change the fact that you are communicating with real people. It’s disheartening that so many people think that online people aren’t real people and worthy of the same care as people they meet offline. In fact, I shouldn’t have used the term real life. It’s all real, and it’s all apart of people’s lives. That some people are too ignorant to realize that is just a fact that I have to accept. And pity those people. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2011, 9:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pathetic-facebook-angst/555882/46 "2011-02-15T09:03:45Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > Depending on your privacy settings, de-friending someone doesn’t do that. Yes, you could hide them or use some other settings to diminish their impact on your wall, but why bother? > > But the main thing, IMO, is that even though Facebook chose to use the word “friend” to describe the relationship, it’s not equivalent to real world friendship. Facebook users establish what that relationship means and some people set a fairly low bar for adding and removing Facebook friends. I don’t care if it’s friendship or not. I don’t do that acquaintances either. It’s not a matter of friendship to me. It’s a matter of being a decent person. A decent person tries his best not to hurt anyone if he can avoid it. And, anyways, if you have a way of contacting me on your own schedule, then you are my friend. Or someone I had to keep in contact for some sort of business transaction. It’s not a relationship thing. Those people who have a ton of friends are just using FB to keep score. People aren’t people, they are just trophies to them. I know. I used to be that way. And I lost a lot of friends because of it. (And, yes, my previous post was sanctimonious on purpose. I discovered that you guys hate it when I act like that, so, now I have a response when you insult me.) ---
**Author:** ![bucketybuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@bucketybuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bucketybuck)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2011, 9:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pathetic-facebook-angst/555882/47 "2011-02-15T09:14:28Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > A decent person tries his best not to hurt anyone if he can avoid it. Wrong. A decent person hurts his friends to prepare them for the pain and misery yet to come. Why do you hate your friends? ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2011, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pathetic-facebook-angst/555882/48 "2011-02-15T12:35:56Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > I don’t care if it’s friendship or not. I don’t do that acquaintances either. It’s not a matter of friendship to me. It’s a matter of being a decent person. A decent person tries his best not to hurt anyone if he can avoid it. Seriously? It’s just Facebook. The people I associate with on FB don’t care either way. I’m not sure who you were friends with there, but they don’t sound like people I would care one way or the other. Those who mind don’t matter, those who matter don’t mind. ---
**Author:** ![2gigch1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/2gigch1/32/3313_2.png) [@2gigch1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2gigch1)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2011, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pathetic-facebook-angst/555882/49 "2011-02-15T14:27:17Z")
Because I work in the old fasioned broadcast media I already have a preference towards keeping my private life private. No Facebook, Myspace, very limited Twitter (for amusement only; really just to follow others). I have a website that I’ll do something with someday. I’ve done too many stories about people who let too much out there then can’t get it back. Heck, I have co-worker who puts _every single damn thing about themselves_ on the internet, then reacts in horror when the public happens to know a lot about their personal life. The cult of me is a pretty boring place. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2011, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pathetic-facebook-angst/555882/50 "2011-02-15T14:33:54Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > In fact, I shouldn’t have used the term real life. It’s all real, and it’s all apart of people’s lives. That some people are too ignorant to realize that is just a fact that I have to accept. And pity those people. You’ve trotted out this garbage before. And yet you’re still incapable of seeing the delicious irony of simultaneously saying “all people I interact with online are worthy of respect and love” as well as “everyone who disagrees with me on my ridiculous Facebook Book of Etiquette is ignorant and pitiful”. ---
**Author:** ![Double\_Foolscap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/85e7bf/32.png) [@Double\_Foolscap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Double_Foolscap)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2011, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pathetic-facebook-angst/555882/51 "2011-02-15T14:35:01Z")
It’s interesting seeing Facebook angst from the other side, considering most threads are about unwanted friend requests, how to ignore people and the joy of finally escaping the pale blue time succubus once and for all. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2011, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pathetic-facebook-angst/555882/52 "2011-02-15T15:15:06Z")
Well, and now you see why people want to get away from Facebook! 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pathetic-facebook-angst/555882.md?page=2)