# Pathological/Compulsive Liars **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [December 2, 2002, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pathological-compulsive-liars/139978 "2002-12-02T16:45:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![R\_T\_MAN](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/838e76/32.png) [@R\_T\_MAN](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R_T_MAN)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pathological-compulsive-liars/139978/1 "2002-12-02T16:45:52Z")
I have a 28 year old brother who I believe is a pathological liar. His lies range from how much he paid for something to how good his gas mileage is on his car. I and the rest of my family as well as friends have noticed this behavior and it is not going away. We all love him but his lies do nothing more than want us all to tell him to take a hike. This behavior has to stop but we don’t know where to look or where to start. My biggest concern is that he has a three year old son, and that one day his lies will start to hurt him, and make him not trust his father, for surely one day his son will get wise to his lying. The only thing I can think of that may of contributed to this was he had a dirt bike accident when he was 16 and he suffered a concussion. His behavior did seem to change after this. As well he is a truck driver and not to stereotype anyone but I have found that in that profession drivers talk on the CB and get used to lying because they do not have to look anyone in the face. My father (also a truckdriver) has also been known to stretch the truth but no where near as bad as my brother. Maybe he gets it honestly but maybe it is from the accident, or is he just really self concious? Please help me help my bro. ---
**Author:** ![Meatros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pathological-compulsive-liars/139978/2 "2002-12-02T16:49:19Z")
I’m actually really interested in this question. My fiance’s cousin is, what I believe, a pathological liar. She lies about EVERYTHING. She lies to me about the exact same thing, twice, confusing her lies, yet denieing that she told a lie. It’s extremely frusterating… I think she does it to feel “better” than whoever she’s talking with… ---
**Author:** ![Alias](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e4f/32.png) [@Alias](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alias)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pathological-compulsive-liars/139978/3 "2002-12-02T16:52:18Z")
I guess it’s possible that your brother suffered some kind of mild brain damage in his bike accident, and yes, that can definitely have a HUGE effect on a person’s behaviour. HOWEVER, many people who are classified as pathological or compulsive liars also suffer from personality disorders. These can effect a person’s behaviour in numerous ways, including a person’s perception of reality and a person’s perception of what is acceptable behaviour and what is not. Feel free to email me if you want to talk about it. ---
**Author:** ![Alias](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e4f/32.png) [@Alias](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alias)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pathological-compulsive-liars/139978/4 "2002-12-02T16:54:58Z")
I forgot to tell you that my mother-in-law is like this, although it doesn’t seem so much as to make herself seem better than others, as it is an automatic reaction. Many people who lie compulsively can’t help it! BTW, if my postings seem a little disoriented, please forgive me. I’m home sick today. ---
**Author:** ![Ryan\_Liam](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ryan_liam/32/3965_2.png) [@Ryan\_Liam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ryan_Liam)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pathological-compulsive-liars/139978/5 "2002-12-02T16:56:42Z")
My brother lies about events even though we see him do it. ---
**Author:** ![twelfthsign](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce73a5/32.png) [@twelfthsign](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twelfthsign)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pathological-compulsive-liars/139978/6 "2002-12-02T16:58:05Z")
The person is definately suffering from a certain inferiority complex, I’ve known another person who had this tendancy, and what was common to all her lies was that she was exhibiting self-importance and she was only aggrandizing real life situation, by which she beleived she was being ‘cool’ or appreciated. ---
**Author:** ![Meatros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pathological-compulsive-liars/139978/7 "2002-12-02T16:59:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by twelfthsign \* > \*\*The person is definately suffering from a certain inferiority complex, I’ve known another person who had this tendancy, and what was common to all her lies was that she was exhibiting self-importance and she was only aggrandizing real life situation, by which she beleived she was being ‘cool’ or appreciated. \*\* This person’s name wouldn’t happen to begin with the letter “J” would it? ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pathological-compulsive-liars/139978/8 "2002-12-02T17:02:37Z")
I would assume the only help for something like this is professional counseling with a psychiatrist/psychologist. Unless the lying is caused by actual brain damage there are bound to be underlying issues that push the person to lie. To resolve those issues seek a mental health professional. I too know someone who is a pathological liar. Thing is she’s quite bad at it too and I constantly catch her in her BS. In her case she just ignores that she’s been caught and moves merrily along. She’s only an acquaintance of mine though so I’m in no position to suggest much less force her to seek counseling. ---
**Author:** ![twelfthsign](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce73a5/32.png) [@twelfthsign](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twelfthsign)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pathological-compulsive-liars/139978/9 "2002-12-02T18:01:57Z")
. **Meatros.** Who? The girl or me? The girl, nope. Me yea. ---
**Author:** ![Alias](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e4f/32.png) [@Alias](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alias)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pathological-compulsive-liars/139978/10 "2002-12-02T20:16:06Z")
Therapy can be tricky with people like this. A lot of pathological liars don’t acknowledge the fact that they lie. Even if it gets them into a lot of trouble, they’ll sooner tell more lies than just admit to their BS. Usually, the best way to deal with this problem is to treat the disorder that might be making them lie, such as a personality disorder or inferiority complex. The lying is most likely a manifestation of a more complicated problem. ---
**Author:** ![Meatros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pathological-compulsive-liars/139978/11 "2002-12-02T20:31:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by twelfthsign \* > \*\*. **Meatros.** Who? The girl or me? The girl, nope. Me yea. \*\* The girl’s name starts with a “J”. I suppose it’s just hard for me to believe there is more than one, like her, out there. ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Dickerson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Scott\_Dickerson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Dickerson)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pathological-compulsive-liars/139978/12 "2002-12-02T21:15:47Z")
I’ve known a few. The giveaway is that they lie even when it is to their obvious disadvantage, even when it diminishes rather than enhances their reputations, even when it gives blow after blow to their self-esteem. I suggest that we consider the following: 1. Seemingly identical behaviors may well stem from entirely different causes–in a given person on different occasions; with respect to different people. 2. The most useful question is often, not “why did he/she do it,” but rather “why did he/she not refrain from doing it”–the distinction is significant. 3. Those points being made…I do note parallels between compulsive lying and kleptomania. 4. My general theory? I think there is a broad category headed “people who deliberately make trouble for themselves.” I think these people suffer from a sort of “pleasure deprivation syndrome” largely organic in nature: for some reason, ordinary-level inputs do not give them sensations of pleasure. Thus ordinary-level behavior is unrewarding and dull. But dangerous, edgy, anxiety-provoking activities either up the sensitivity or are simply in themselves more intense, thus leading to a transient flash of pleasure that is, to such people, its own reward. ---
**Author:** ![bbeaty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c0e974/32.png) [@bbeaty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bbeaty)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2002, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pathological-compulsive-liars/139978/13 "2002-12-03T04:13:17Z")
You might want to research “Borderline Personality Disorder.” Sometimes a major part of BPD is constant lying while believing the lies. [http://members.aol.com/BPDCentral/bpdlist.html](http://members.aol.com/BPDCentral/bpdlist.html) ---
**Author:** ![lazymexicanamerican](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecb155/32.png) [@lazymexicanamerican](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lazymexicanamerican)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2002, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pathological-compulsive-liars/139978/14 "2002-12-03T04:39:28Z")
My cousin is a pathological liar… no doubt in my mind. I think she lies to feel cool and get attention from others. She has made up stories about me, my other cousin and herself that cannot even possibly be true. Now when she tells me stories i learn to say whatever don’t lie. Its funny b/c shes laughing and no one else is b/c they don’t believe her. Shes psychotic anyways thats just another problem to add to her list! ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2002, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pathological-compulsive-liars/139978/15 "2002-12-03T05:58:58Z")
One family member exaggerates everything, is a drama queen, a hypocondriac, has much misinformation at her finger tips. She is one of the most nurturing people that I have ever known but one of the most difficult to tolerate. She tries to diagnose the illnesses of everyone or to convince us that we are sick when we are not. When she exaggerates things, I’m not even sure that she knows she is lying. But I cannot rely on her for accurate information and it is causing problems in our family. Another person I know tells whoppers and actually tries to con people out of money, a place to stay, etc. He is always “lecturing at some university” or “studying sanskrit” or hobnobbing with celebrities. At the moment he is trying to become a New Age guru. His speciality deals with handling emotions but he is lacking in any emotional intelligence or control. Add deadbeat dad to the list too. I will confront the second one but not the first.