I had a somewhat similar situation with a new patient a few years ago. Little old lady pushing 70 with the usual–diabetes, high blood pressure, osteoporosis, arthritis, history of coronary disease, etc.
Her daughter caught me in the hall before I went in and explained that I was the sixth doc they’d been to in the last two years. She said that I could talk all I wanted about her mother’s blood pressure and everything else, but I could NOT suggest that she had diabetes. A preacher had prayed with her and told her that her diabetes would be cured, and she insisted that it had been. Furthermore, when her previous physicians refused to accept that her diabetes was gone she wouldn’t go back to them.
Labs from a month before showed a blood sugar of around 300 and a HbA1C of 13. (That is, she has diabetes, and it’s bad.) Her kidneys were also starting to go south, and she had signs of nerve and eye damage–all sequelae of poorly treated diabetes.
Near as I could tell she was a perfectly intelligent and competent woman otherwise. She managed her own meds, and knew what they were all for, so there was no treating her on the sly.
I decided to go along with it for the time being. Good blood pressure control is as important as sugar control in diabetes, so I figured I could at least do that. But she must have smelled my skepticism, because she never came back.
Another elderly patient who lived alone swore to me that she was taking her medicine, but her blood pressure and such didn’t seem to be improving. I convinced her to let me do get a home occupational therapy eval so someone could get a peek at her situation, and the OT found all of her meds dumped into a bowl on her nightstand. The patient told me that she asked God when she woke up every morning if she should take her meds, and if he said yes she just grabbed a handful and took them. She seemed to realize as she explained this that it really wasn’t right, and she didn’t object much when I suggested a nursing home.
As to the OP situation, it occurs to me that this woman has not seen her cancer. She has seen blurry images that they tell her is cancer and lab results that she is told suggest cancer. Experts have explained to her that she has cancer, and that all the scientific evidence says she has cancer. But why should she believe them? They’re not smarter than God.
She’s been told that the “scientists” and “experts” are wrong about things like evolution and global warming, so it’s hard to turn around and insist that she accept the similar word of experts when it comes to her body.
All ethical issues aside, in my experience it is nearly impossible to get surgery done on a patient who doesn’t want it done and is able to tell you so. Giving meds to an unwilling patient is one thing, but when you’re strapping someone down and knocking him out and he’s begging you all the while not to do it, hospital lawyers will appear out of nowhere and put a stop to it.