# Patrick Stewart Reads The Phone Book **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 5, 2007, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/patrick-stewart-reads-the-phone-book/418113 "2007-09-05T13:20:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![DataZak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ea666f/32.png) [@DataZak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DataZak)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2007, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/patrick-stewart-reads-the-phone-book/418113/41 "2007-09-06T01:40:35Z")
[QUOTE=Martini Enfield] Who do you think has the sort of acting skills/presence/talent to make something spectactularly dull or mundane become interesting? [/QUOTE] Angelina Jolie breastfeeding her baby. ---
**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2007, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/patrick-stewart-reads-the-phone-book/418113/42 "2007-09-06T02:06:32Z")
I’ll go with _Bill Nighy Stands in Line at the Post Office_. I love the guy. ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2007, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/patrick-stewart-reads-the-phone-book/418113/43 "2007-09-06T02:12:33Z")
Jeff Bridges Harry Dean Stanton Chris Guest ---
**Author:** ![LVBoPeep](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/858c86/32.png) [@LVBoPeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LVBoPeep)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2007, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/patrick-stewart-reads-the-phone-book/418113/44 "2007-09-06T02:53:16Z")
How about Dame Maggie Smith reading The Good Wife’s Guide …[http://gallery.pcapex.com/data/500/good\_housekeeping1955.jpg](http://gallery.pcapex.com/data/500/good_housekeeping1955.jpg) ? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2007, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/patrick-stewart-reads-the-phone-book/418113/45 "2007-09-06T03:16:12Z")
Walter Matthau ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2007, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/patrick-stewart-reads-the-phone-book/418113/46 "2007-09-06T03:21:58Z")
[QUOTE=Lemur866] Roger Ebert sometimes reviews particularly bad movies by asking the question, “Is this movie as interesting as watching the same actors having lunch?” [/QUOTE] I think Roger does say that, but the idea comes from Gene Siskel. I’ve always said, “Would I rather watch this movie, or the making of how they made this movie?” Ocean’s 11, 12, and 13 fail this test every time(for me). ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2007, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/patrick-stewart-reads-the-phone-book/418113/47 "2007-09-06T03:40:22Z")
I think James Earl Jones _has_ read the phone book. At least, he was the spokesman for Ameritech for a while… I presume that’s what he was doing. Incidentally, he also makes an amazing commencement speaker, as I can say from experience (unfortunately, not my own commencement). ---
**Author:** ![ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2007, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/patrick-stewart-reads-the-phone-book/418113/48 "2007-09-06T03:43:20Z")
Joan Cusack trying to talk herself out of a speeding ticket. Robin Williams playing Wild Devine. Jack Black going for a swim in the hotel pool at 2am on a Saturday night. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2007, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/patrick-stewart-reads-the-phone-book/418113/49 "2007-09-06T03:46:31Z")
I always think that, no matter what he’s in, [J.K. Simmons](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0799777/) always steals the show. He just fits in with everything, and he always does an amazing, memorable job. Schillinger, anyone? J. Jonah Jameson? The man’s got chops. I therefore propose “J.K. Simmons Trimming his Toenails while Watching Aqua Teen Hunger Force on the Couch.” ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2007, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/patrick-stewart-reads-the-phone-book/418113/50 "2007-09-06T03:48:36Z")
[QUOTE=Chronos] I think James Earl Jones _has_ read the phone book. At least, he was the spokesman for Ameritech for a while… I presume that’s what he was doing. Incidentally, he also makes an amazing commencement speaker, as I can say from experience (unfortunately, not my own commencement). [/QUOTE] While I was in DC in the late nineties, James Earl Jones did all the phone voice recordings for Bell Atlantic. It was neat to dial the operator and hear Jones intone, “Welcome…to Bell Atlaaaaantic.” Squee? I dunno, it was cool. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2007, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/patrick-stewart-reads-the-phone-book/418113/51 "2007-09-06T03:57:52Z")
Philip Seymour Hoffman has never sucked in anything. He was even good walking through that POS Mission Impossible movie he did. > [@](#): > > David Bowie. I saw him in the Elephant Man in Chicago years ago, and he was very, very good. I’d watch him doing just about anything. He had a really good cameo as Nicola Tesla in _The Prestige_. He was almost unrecognizable a Bowie and made me want to to watch whole movie of him playing Tesla. ---
**Author:** ![ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2007, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/patrick-stewart-reads-the-phone-book/418113/52 "2007-09-06T04:00:27Z")
[QUOTE=Diogenes the Cynic] Philip Seymour Hoffman has never sucked in anything. He was even good walking through that POS Mission Impossible movie he did. He had a really good cameo as Nicola Tesla in _The Prestige_. He was almost unrecognizable a Bowie and made me want to to watch whole movie of him playing Tesla. [/QUOTE] I don’t think he’s unrecognizable in any situation. ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2007, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/patrick-stewart-reads-the-phone-book/418113/53 "2007-09-06T05:02:14Z")
[QUOTE=Dung Beetle] I’d go see Alan Rickman in Waiting at the Doctor’s Office for a Routine Checkup. 🙂 [/QUOTE] I’d prefer to see Alan Rickman in Waiting at the Doctor’s Office for his first Colonoscopy, myself. Yes, I’m a little bit of a sadist. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2007, 7:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/patrick-stewart-reads-the-phone-book/418113/54 "2007-09-06T07:31:24Z")
I can’t find video of David Letterman’s TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND COOL WHEN JAMES EARL JONES SAYS THEM (briefly on youtube but no more), but I did find the list. It was read by James Earl Jones of course (one of Letterman’s best moments). 10.Mellifluous 1. Verisimilitude 2. Guppy 3. Stolichnaya 4. Boutros-Boutros Ghali 5. Neo-Synephrine 6. Pinhead 7. Mujibur and Sirajul 8. Heebie-Jeebies 9. Oprah ---
**Author:** ![Leiko](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Leiko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leiko)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2007, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/patrick-stewart-reads-the-phone-book/418113/55 "2007-09-06T20:24:35Z")
[QUOTE=Ogre] I always think that, no matter what he’s in, [J.K. Simmons](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0799777/) always steals the show. He just fits in with everything, and he always does an amazing, memorable job. Schillinger, anyone? J. Jonah Jameson? The man’s got chops. I therefore propose “J.K. Simmons Trimming his Toenails while Watching Aqua Teen Hunger Force on the Couch.” [/QUOTE] Is it weird that I’m horribly proud to see this, just because he graduated from the university I’m attending now? I’d watch Claudia Black and Summer Glau Do The Laundry. Or George Takei Orders Take-Out. I’d see that one twice in theatres and buy the special edition DVD. ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2007, 8:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/patrick-stewart-reads-the-phone-book/418113/56 "2007-09-07T08:54:34Z")
[QUOTE=Leiko] I’d watch Claudia Black and Summer Glau Do The Laundry. Or George Takei Orders Take-Out. I’d see that one twice in theatres and buy the special edition DVD. [/QUOTE] I was thinking about George Takei ordering Chinese take-away when I read this, and then I heard his voice in my head saying _"I find that offensive- just because I am of Asian ancestry, you assume I would be ordering Chinese food._" Camera pans back slightly to show William Shatner standing in line behind him, saying “_Well, you never talk about yourself_”, to which George Takei sadly replies “_Maybe if you showed a little interest…_” before suppressing a sob. Come on, wasn’t that the best Futurama episode ever? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Harshman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3be4f8/32.png) [@Harshman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harshman)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2007, 9:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/patrick-stewart-reads-the-phone-book/418113/57 "2007-09-07T09:29:32Z")
Sean Connery - Doing anything. Rowen Atkinson - Grocery shopping. ---
**Author:** ![hotflungwok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/edb3f5/32.png) [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2007, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/patrick-stewart-reads-the-phone-book/418113/58 "2007-09-07T13:49:15Z")
Alan Rickman ++ I’ve always maintained that Christopher Walken could just stand in them middle of an empty street eating a hotdog and people would run screaming from the theater. I’d like to add Christopher LLoyd Vaccuums the Living Room and John Lithgow Does the Dishes. ---
**Author:** ![ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2007, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/patrick-stewart-reads-the-phone-book/418113/59 "2007-09-07T13:54:07Z")
[QUOTE=hotflungwok] Alan Rickman ++ I’ve always maintained that Christopher Walken could just stand in them middle of an empty street eating a hotdog and people would run screaming from the theater. I’d like to add Christopher LLoyd Vaccuums the Living Room and John Lithgow Does the Dishes. [/QUOTE] I’ve actually seen Cristopher Lloyd stand in line at a potluck (he even tried some of my mom’s enchiladas), but it was not that interesting. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2007, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/patrick-stewart-reads-the-phone-book/418113/60 "2007-09-07T14:00:03Z")
Patrick Warburton can appear (or not, when he does voice-acting) in anything, no matter how schlocky, and make it funny. His voice is just a complete trip. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/patrick-stewart-reads-the-phone-book/418113.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/patrick-stewart-reads-the-phone-book/418113.md?page=4)