# Patrick Stewart Reads The Phone Book **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 5, 2007, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/patrick-stewart-reads-the-phone-book/418113 "2007-09-05T13:20:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2007, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/patrick-stewart-reads-the-phone-book/418113/61 "2007-09-07T14:01:50Z")
[QUOTE=vivalostwages] I will also nominate Hugh Laurie folds the laundry and orders pizza by phone. [/QUOTE] Me too! I’d also pay to see David Hyde Pierce be a mime, and Wayne Brady to choke this white bitch. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Kumquat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gary\_Kumquat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Kumquat)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2007, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/patrick-stewart-reads-the-phone-book/418113/62 "2007-09-07T14:15:20Z")
[QUOTE=DSYoungEsq] Funny, but my only thought is that, while there are plenty of actors who, in my opinion, would be excellent at doing the most mundane roles, Patrick Stewart is hardly in the same class with most of them. There is a reason he was doing Star Trek, and it wasn’t tremendous acting ability. [/QUOTE] Lemme see. He did nearly twenty years with the RSC and the RNT, he’s won an olivier award for his one man performance of A Christmas Carol, he’s churned out good performance for directors such as Bergman and Lynch…but he doesn’t have acting ability? That seems a little unlikely. Oh admittedly he’s a pompous old ham these days, but don’t think that means he can’t act. Hell, Ian Mckellen’s gone to seed as well since he became a celeb, but that’s hollywood living for you. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2007, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/patrick-stewart-reads-the-phone-book/418113/63 "2007-09-07T17:33:03Z")
Patrick Stewart also had the cajones to give an excellent portrayal of a gay guy in Fraiser. John Lithgow. I’d pay to hear his fine Irish tenor sing the phone book. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2007, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/patrick-stewart-reads-the-phone-book/418113/64 "2007-09-07T17:46:22Z")
Anyone mentioning Patrick Stewart has obviously not seen _Lifeforce_. ---
**Author:** ![Defensive\_Indifference](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/defensive_indifference/32/6502_2.png) [@Defensive\_Indifference](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Defensive_Indifference)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2007, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/patrick-stewart-reads-the-phone-book/418113/65 "2007-09-07T20:04:24Z")
Bob Newhart Uses the Telephone. And you can only hear his half of the conversation. ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2007, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/patrick-stewart-reads-the-phone-book/418113/66 "2007-09-07T20:24:46Z")
[QUOTE=Bosstone] Patrick Warburton can appear (or not, when he does voice-acting) in anything, no matter how schlocky, and make it funny. His voice is just a complete trip. [/QUOTE] As much as I love Warburton myself, there is [evidence](http://imdb.com/title/tt0308353/) that his ability to make _anything_ funny is, unfortunately, not infinite. ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2007, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/patrick-stewart-reads-the-phone-book/418113/67 "2007-09-07T20:59:18Z")
[QUOTE=Loach] Anyone mentioning Patrick Stewart has obviously not seen _Lifeforce_. [/QUOTE] I’m fairly confident that there was nobody but Mathilda May in that movie. -Joe ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2007, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/patrick-stewart-reads-the-phone-book/418113/68 "2007-09-07T21:13:57Z")
[QUOTE=Bayard] Bob Newhart Uses the Telephone. And you can only hear his half of the conversation. [/QUOTE] And he doesn’t actually say anything, just says, “Uh-huh,” and “Okay,” a lot. ---
**Author:** ![Archergal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c89c15/32.png) [@Archergal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Archergal)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2007, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/patrick-stewart-reads-the-phone-book/418113/69 "2007-09-07T22:33:32Z")
I’d pay money to see “Robert Duvall Puts on a Cowboy Hat and Grins.” Oh wait, maybe I’ve seen that already. 😃 (I loves me some Robert Duvall though.) Max von Sydow brings a little class even to silly movies. ---
**Author:** ![Plynck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Plynck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Plynck)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2007, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/patrick-stewart-reads-the-phone-book/418113/70 "2007-09-07T23:02:00Z")
I wouldn’t mind seeing Jeremy Irons tie his necktie without a mirror, get it wrong, pull it apart, then do it again. All while reciting a Shakespeare sonnet to Sinead Cusack as she was brushing her hair. Except that he’d get it right the first time, the bastard, and then pick out just the right jacket to go with the necktie. And what the hell, Angelina Jolie eating an ice cream cone, but that goes without saying. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2007, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/patrick-stewart-reads-the-phone-book/418113/71 "2007-09-07T23:04:11Z")
[QUOTE=Plynck] And what the hell, Angelina Jolie eating an ice cream cone, but that goes without saying. [/QUOTE] A popsicle would be better. Maybe save that for the sequel? ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2007, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/patrick-stewart-reads-the-phone-book/418113/72 "2007-09-07T23:56:14Z")
Sean Connery reading the phone book, but it has to be in his Scottish brogue and he has to start with the Rrrrrrrrrrr’s. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2007, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/patrick-stewart-reads-the-phone-book/418113/73 "2007-09-07T23:56:37Z")
In “The Da Vinci Code” you get to watch the great\* Ian McKellen\* more or less “reading the phone book” and it couldn’t save that dog of a film. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2007, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/patrick-stewart-reads-the-phone-book/418113/74 "2007-09-08T00:19:58Z")
Chow Yun Fat Chews on a Toothpick. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2007, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/patrick-stewart-reads-the-phone-book/418113/75 "2007-09-08T00:21:57Z")
But he needs the long long braid he had in _Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon_. What I wouldn’t have given to see that unplaited and loose, blowing in the breeze. ---
**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2007, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/patrick-stewart-reads-the-phone-book/418113/76 "2007-09-08T01:04:35Z")
_:: thud ::_ 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![wolf\_meister](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolf_meister/32/15202_2.png) [@wolf\_meister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolf_meister)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2007, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/patrick-stewart-reads-the-phone-book/418113/77 "2007-09-08T04:00:20Z")
Well, here’s a story that is quite suited to this thread topic: > [@](#): > > Some actors have a truly incredible talent and one such person was the Polish actress **Helena Modjeska** (1840-1909). Her acting was very realistic and emotional. At a dinner party where nobody knew Polish, Helena gave a dramatic reading in her native tongue. Many of her listeners were in tears when she finished. It eventually came out that she had only recited the Polish alphabet. Link: [Verification Required - Writing.Com](http://www.writing.com/main/books/entry_id/285031) I remember reading about this in an Isaac Asimov trivia book and I was glad to find it online. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/patrick-stewart-reads-the-phone-book/418113.md?page=3)