# Paul Simons 50 Ways to leave you lover. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 22, 2013, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/paul-simons-50-ways-to-leave-you-lover/661660 "2013-06-22T22:02:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2013, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/paul-simons-50-ways-to-leave-you-lover/661660/1 "2013-06-22T22:02:07Z")
https://www.youtube.com/embed/298nld4Yfds?feature=oembed&wmode=opaque Someone needs to sing this chicks letter to this melody. 😛 My gosh how long was she thinking about this? LMAO geez she came up with some zingers. > **['You eat your cereal with water!' Girlfriend's hilarious dumping of her...](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2346373/You-eat-cereal-water-Girlfriends-hilarious-dumping-boyfriend-hits-internet.html)** > > An image posted to Imgur Wednesday shows a list of twenty reasons one woman is breaking up with her boyfriend, including the fact that his favorite movie is Snow Dogs > [@](#): > > “The problem is all inside your head”, she said to me > The answer is easy if you take it logically > I’d like to help you in your struggle to be free > There must be fifty ways to leave your lover > > You just slip out the back, Jack > Make a new plan, Stan > You don’t need to be coy, Roy > Just get yourself free > Hop on the bus, Gus > You don’t need to discuss much > Just drop off the key, Lee > And get yourself free ---
**Author:** ![moriah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b2d939/32.png) [@moriah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moriah)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2013, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/paul-simons-50-ways-to-leave-you-lover/661660/2 "2013-06-22T22:46:57Z")
Yeah, she kinda looks like a loser, too, because many of them should have been a deal breaker by themselves, rather than waiting for 20 of them to pile up. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2013, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/paul-simons-50-ways-to-leave-you-lover/661660/3 "2013-06-22T22:52:11Z")
> [@moriah](#): > > Yeah, she kinda looks like a loser, too, because many of them should have been a deal breaker by themselves, rather than waiting for 20 of them to pile up. I didn’t read the article, just the list, but I have to wonder if he’s gay (and a loser (with a twist or redneck in there somewhere)). ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2013, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/paul-simons-50-ways-to-leave-you-lover/661660/4 "2013-06-22T23:10:11Z")
Leather pants and one too many posters of Michael Phelps in a speedo. 😃 Yeah she was making a not too subtle point. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2013, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/paul-simons-50-ways-to-leave-you-lover/661660/5 "2013-06-22T23:20:19Z")
I was just looking at it again and saw that it said “Your _Taz_ tattoo”. I read that as “Your Ta2 tattoo” and I was thinking “did he really get a tattoo that says ‘Ta2’?” ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2013, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/paul-simons-50-ways-to-leave-you-lover/661660/6 "2013-06-22T23:31:42Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#): > > I was just looking at it again and saw that it said “Your _Taz_ tattoo”. I read that as “Your Ta2 tattoo” and I was thinking “did he really get a tattoo that says ‘Ta2’?” da PLANE! ---
**Author:** ![standingwave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@standingwave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/standingwave)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2013, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/paul-simons-50-ways-to-leave-you-lover/661660/7 "2013-06-22T23:42:16Z")
LOL. Quite a list. But such a cool song. One of a handful of songs I remember where I was when I first heard it, in this case, on a bus (school ski trip) back in 1975. It’s very rappy. And I hate rap. 🙂 But I digress. Along the same lines, [The Most Efficient Fifty Ways to Leave your Lover](http://women-and-dreams.blogspot.com/2011/09/most-efficient-fifty-ways-to-leave-your.html): Adieu, Boo - Bolt, Walt - Buzz, Buzz - Dust, Just - Hike, Mike - Quit, Brit - Scram, Sam - Skim, Akim - Skip, Chip - Split, Kit - etc. You get the idea. ---
**Author:** ![moriah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b2d939/32.png) [@moriah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moriah)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2013, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/paul-simons-50-ways-to-leave-you-lover/661660/8 "2013-06-23T02:27:17Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#): > > I didn’t read the article, just the list, but I have to wonder if he’s gay (and a loser (with a twist or redneck in there somewhere)). > [@aceplace57](#): > > Leather pants and one too many posters of Michael Phelps in a speedo. 😃 Yeah she was making a not too subtle point. What gay man with leather pants would wear sweatpants to a funeral? Puh-LEASE! ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2013, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/paul-simons-50-ways-to-leave-you-lover/661660/9 "2013-06-23T02:42:16Z")
> [@moriah](#): > > What gay man with leather pants would wear sweatpants to a funeral? Puh-LEASE! Maybe the leather pants have the ass cut out. That’s just not funeral appropriate. Or maybe he just wasn’t feeling sexy that day. ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2013, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/paul-simons-50-ways-to-leave-you-lover/661660/10 "2013-06-23T02:58:11Z")
This is my favorite solo song by Paul Simon. Such clever lyrics. _You just slip out the back, Jack._😉 Sounds like some of the put downs we came up with in high school. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2013, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/paul-simons-50-ways-to-leave-you-lover/661660/11 "2013-06-23T03:03:55Z")
just stab her in the eye, Guy stomp on her head, Jed pop a cap in her azz, Taz and set yourself free ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2013, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/paul-simons-50-ways-to-leave-you-lover/661660/12 "2013-06-23T03:29:29Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > just stab her in the eye, Guy > > stomp on her head, Jed > > pop a cap in her azz, Taz > > and set yourself free Push her off a cliff…Cliff. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2013, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/paul-simons-50-ways-to-leave-you-lover/661660/13 "2013-06-23T03:38:45Z")
This song figured prominently in an episode of the HBO sitcom VEEP. Selina (Julia Louis Dreyfuss) sings a parody of it that goes viral and offends, well, everybody, even though it’s pretty lame. The song’s been stuck in my head ever since. I remember the Jackson 5 doing a really good cover of it on their TV show at the time. ---
**Author:** ![BunnyTVS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BunnyTVS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyTVS)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2013, 10:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/paul-simons-50-ways-to-leave-you-lover/661660/14 "2013-06-23T10:44:44Z")
[50 ways to leave your mother.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F8CrZBLJU90) Maa-aaa-aah ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2013, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/paul-simons-50-ways-to-leave-you-lover/661660/15 "2013-06-23T13:24:30Z")
> [@standingwave](#): > > LOL. Quite a list. > > But such a cool song. One of a handful of songs I remember where I was when I first heard it, in this case, on a bus (school ski trip) back in 1975. It’s very rappy. And I hate rap. 🙂 > > But I digress. Along the same lines, [The Most Efficient Fifty Ways to Leave your Lover](http://women-and-dreams.blogspot.com/2011/09/most-efficient-fifty-ways-to-leave-your.html): Adieu, Boo - Bolt, Walt - Buzz, Buzz - Dust, Just - Hike, Mike - Quit, Brit - Scram, Sam - Skim, Akim - Skip, Chip - Split, Kit - etc. You get the idea. Bolt, Walt? Those don’t rhyme. ---
**Author:** ![standingwave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@standingwave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/standingwave)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2013, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/paul-simons-50-ways-to-leave-you-lover/661660/16 "2013-06-23T14:50:45Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Bolt, Walt? Those don’t rhyme. Yeah, I noticed that. 😕 Bolt, dolt works. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2013, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/paul-simons-50-ways-to-leave-you-lover/661660/17 "2013-06-23T17:04:10Z")
> [@standingwave](#): > > Yeah, I noticed that. 😕 Bolt, dolt works. But who names their kid “Dolt”? Holt, maybe? ---
**Author:** ![standingwave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@standingwave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/standingwave)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2013, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/paul-simons-50-ways-to-leave-you-lover/661660/18 "2013-06-23T17:12:47Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > But who names their kid “Dolt”? Holt, maybe? True. I was thinking more along the lines of an insult, than a given name. ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2013, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/paul-simons-50-ways-to-leave-you-lover/661660/19 "2013-06-24T14:00:20Z")
Bolt, Colt. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2013, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/paul-simons-50-ways-to-leave-you-lover/661660/20 "2013-06-24T14:05:15Z")
> [@BunnyTVS](#): > > [50 ways to leave your mother.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F8CrZBLJU90) That song is just begging for a parody 50 ways to meet your mother. Maybe for the series finale.