Well, if the Pakistani government had given some sort of back room authorization then I have no problem with this at all. We thought a terrorist leader was there, with permission, we attacked. In the process we killed something like nineteen militans (so it wasn’t like this attack was a complete failure, no one seems to be addressing that.) In the process some civilians died. That’s what is called collateral damage, sure, they’re people. But people aren’t innately more valuable than anything else the military blows up, and in fact typically they are less so.
Unless you can propose a way to establish a world without war and without violence, you can’t live without a military and without sometimes having to conduct military operations. And if you’re going to accept that, then you have to accept that there will be accidental deaths and collateral damage.
There’s really no alternatives. Efforts can be made to minimize it, but if you consider any collateral damage unacceptable then that’s an opinion that can’t be developed into any actual guidelines and will be incapable of actually being implemented into any sort of real-world military operation.
Now, on the other hand, if this really was completely unapproved by the Pakistani government then it shouldn’t have happened. Pakistan is a valuable ally and we shouldn’t violate their territory in such a manner. I really have no idea if it was approved or not, it is difficult to say. Publicly the Pakistani leadership could never admit to approving American operations on Pakistani soil, Musharraf is already the target of enough assassinations as it is.
If they did approve it, I don’t blame them for denying it and condeming us, they have to do what they have to do.
As to why one would not send special forces, special forces soldiers could get killed. Imagine the bad press if an entire team of Army Rangers was killed or captured behind enemy lines. Especially in Pakistan, it would make America look bad for being there, it would make America look bad for failing, and it would make the Pakistani government look bad for having independently operating military groups inside its borders.
And of course, obviously, U.S. decisionmakers always weigh American lives as more important than foreign lives, and rightfully so.