# 'Pearl Harbor' is going to suck... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 17, 2001, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pearl-harbor-is-going-to-suck/65771 "2001-05-17T23:46:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2001, 8:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pearl-harbor-is-going-to-suck/65771/41 "2001-05-22T08:49:07Z")
$305 million? I’m sorry, even though this isn’t GD, I’m gonna have to see a cite from that… partly since I’m incredulous at the number, and partly since its cost has been touted at $135 earlier today in a _Inside Edition_ story. Keep in mind that _Titanic_, the most expensive film to date, was $200 mil. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2001, 8:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pearl-harbor-is-going-to-suck/65771/42 "2001-05-22T08:50:09Z")
Addendum: That’s $135 **million** , of course. ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2001, 8:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pearl-harbor-is-going-to-suck/65771/43 "2001-05-22T08:59:26Z")
Hey **DKW** , are you hearing the explosions (or whatever the heck else that is) too? ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2001, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pearl-harbor-is-going-to-suck/65771/44 "2001-05-22T13:17:40Z")
During one of the TV splotches about this movie, I think I saw a brief clip of a Japanese helicopter gunning down Americans as they ran down a dock. Please, somebody, tell me I didn’t really see this—please. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2001, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pearl-harbor-is-going-to-suck/65771/45 "2001-05-22T13:58:01Z")
If we are going to kick around Deep Impact I would like to add that I just hated that kid played by Elijah Wood. Here he has a ticket to the ‘ARK’ in which you will live through the impact and if you aren’t in the ark you will die. He asks his girlfrined if she will marry him so she can come in the ark. So he basically says ‘marry me or die’. Her response? Well maybe if my parents can come. Man if I were a famous 15 year old with a ticket to live I would be proposing to Claudia Schiffer! What I fear most about Pearl Harbor is that when I watch it in a theatre (and I will) that when I start to make fun of it that there will be certain people who will think I am a bad American for not liking the movie or worse that a PH vet will be there and take offence to my hatred for the film. Personally I think the film will be a big diservice to the history and although some people will go on to learn more some will take what is in the film as the real story. ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2001, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pearl-harbor-is-going-to-suck/65771/46 "2001-05-22T17:53:05Z")
I agree that PH will probably be full of historical innacuracies. That said, how high does Tora! Tora! Tora! rate on the accuracy scale? I loved that movie, and they seemed to take a lot of pains to show an exact sequencing of events, but I don’t know how true it is. Who has the poop? ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2001, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pearl-harbor-is-going-to-suck/65771/47 "2001-05-22T23:10:19Z")
Surprisingly, the [IMDb entry](http://us.imdb.com/Goofs?0066473) for the movie only has a couple of items, as does [Movie-Mistakes.com](http://www.films1.movie-mistakes.com/letters/t/tora_tora_tora.htm). ---
**Author:** ![Hail\_Ants](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/dc4da7/32.png) [@Hail\_Ants](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hail_Ants)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2001, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pearl-harbor-is-going-to-suck/65771/48 "2001-05-22T23:26:10Z")
LouisB > [@](#): > > I think I saw a brief clip of a Japanese helicopter gunning down Americans _ **A japanese helicopter?** _ In 1941? Don’t think so. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2001, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pearl-harbor-is-going-to-suck/65771/49 "2001-05-23T03:47:32Z")
When I heard that Pearl Harbor had a love story in it, I was floored. Why can’t they (the studio honcho’s) make a decent war movie any more? Where men are men and dick whipping each other? John Wayne must be rolling in his grave. While I have no problems with Cuba Gooding Jr, albeit the fact that he hasn’t proven himself a decent actor after Jerry Maguire ( the Pepsi commercials didn’t win him any favoritism with me), when I heard he was in it\*, all I could think of was, “Wait…lemme guess…the famous airmen of Tuskegee fly in and save the day…” Also, Alec Baldwin as Jimmy Doolittle. Wah? Doolittle, if my memory serves, did not look he ate ho ho’s all day. Wasn’t he a smaller man? I’m not asking for doppelgangers, people, but somewhere in the ballpark of resemblance would be nice. I guess that I am picturing Baldwin as the bad ass guy in “Glengarry Glen Ross” Fourthly, Ben “The Chin” Affleck. He has all the stage presence of a buffalo. I think that the battle scene will be great and the rest of the flick will be our penance for all our sins for the past year. \*Showing that I a)did not have black history month in high school. b) Have not paid much attention to National Black History Month [sub]I didn’t know I was going to be quizzed on this [/sub] c) Hi Opal! did not know there were blacks in the navy (actually on board ships, I thought they were all on land doing grunt work.) at that time until, (yes, I admit this) saw an “Extra! Pearl Harbor Exclusive” and it/they mentioned that Cuba was playing the role of a real live guy who was…surprise surprise…working in the kitchens… So, there you have it… one historical accuracy. Now, if there was a way to splice the opening 20 minutes of Saving Private Ryan with the Battle Scene of Pearl Harbor and then splice Cuba Gooding Jr from his “Show me the Money” scene in Jerry McGuire then splice it to Tom Cruise in Risky Business saying, " Sometimes you gotta say what the F\*ck" and splice it to the Dr. Stranglove with the cowboy riding the nuclear bomb. Now, that’d be a movie I’d go see. ---
**Author:** ![DKW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dkw/32/3118_2.png) [@DKW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DKW)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2001, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pearl-harbor-is-going-to-suck/65771/50 "2001-05-23T03:48:16Z")
The $300 million figure was from a feature that came with my newspaper (the Star-Bulletin) on the eve of the big premiere. It included all the costs, including marketing, publicity, taxes and fees, etc, not just the production costs. Yes, it’s a rough estimate; no, I don’t know how accurate it is. Nonetheless, the fact that there’s a chance that a lot of people are going to walk away with _nothing_ (this tidbit was also from the special feature) strikes me as incredibly bold. If not suicidal. If in fact it’s true. And I have a sinking feeling that it is. ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2001, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pearl-harbor-is-going-to-suck/65771/51 "2001-05-23T05:53:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Journeyman \* > \*\*Interestingly enough, Braveheart had this effect on me. It started with the somewhat ambigious ending, where the Scottish force, under the Bruce, attack the English. I wanted to know more about the events of that battle. > > The more I learned, the more I thought of the story on film as a fantasy. It just happened to be loosely based on things that did happen(emphasis on the word loosely). > \*\* Oh, you must mean the “Battle of Stirling Bridge” taking place in Braveheart **with no bridge**. :rolleyes: I suppose that _Pearl Harbor_ could be just as ahistorical if, in addition to the six aircraft carriers, the Japanese Imperial Navy features Godzilla, Mothra, and Rodan. ---
**Author:** ![Journeyman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/779978/32.png) [@Journeyman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Journeyman)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2001, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pearl-harbor-is-going-to-suck/65771/52 "2001-05-23T19:33:49Z")
Or maybe the fact that the movie portrayed a torrid affair between Wallace and Edward II’s wife. They never met. ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2001, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pearl-harbor-is-going-to-suck/65771/53 "2001-05-23T23:10:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zebra \* > \*\*If we are going to kick around Deep Impact I would like to add that I just hated that kid played by Elijah Wood. > > Here he has a ticket to the ‘ARK’ in which you will live through the impact and if you aren’t in the ark you will die. He asks his girlfrined if she will marry him so she can come in the ark. So he basically says ‘marry me or die’. Her response? Well maybe if my parents can come. Man if I were a famous 15 year old with a ticket to live I would be proposing to Claudia Schiffer!\*\* Just to briefly continue the hijack, but I’ll concur. **Everyone** in _Deep Impact_ was a friggin’ moron, from Elijah Wood as the lucky kid, his dippy girlfriend, the clueless astronauts that needed six months to think of a solution, the idiots planning the mission, and on and on and on and on and on. I said it before, I’ll say it again, by the last reel I _wanted_ the asteroid to annihilate that Planet Full of Stoopid People™. But _Pearl Harbor_ is gonna suck too. ---
**Author:** ![jab1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ee7513/32.png) [@jab1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jab1)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2001, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pearl-harbor-is-going-to-suck/65771/54 "2001-05-24T01:54:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zebra \* > \*\*And Just one rehtorical question. > > When exactly did America lose its innocence?\*\* 1. ---
**Author:** ![Dark\_Lord\_Davidson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bc8723/32.png) [@Dark\_Lord\_Davidson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dark_Lord_Davidson)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2001, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pearl-harbor-is-going-to-suck/65771/55 "2001-05-24T02:58:10Z")
I’m just wondering…all of you who hated Starship Troopers and Armaggeddon…what did you think of Saving Private Ryan? ---
**Author:** ![Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/df788c/32.png) [@Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ben)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2001, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pearl-harbor-is-going-to-suck/65771/56 "2001-05-24T05:54:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by slortar \* > \*\*Hallelujah, I had no idea other people loathed Armageddon and other Bruckheimer films as much as me. \*\* What I wonder about is who, exactly, LIKES these movies. I remember hating Bruckheimer ever since I first saw one of his movies. “The Rock” was verily nauseating, if only from the motion sickness factor. I remember that when “Gone in 60 Seconds” came out, it seemed like the first Bruckheimer/Nicholas Cage movie where the critics finally woke up and said, “This movie is just a lot of loud music and inept fast cuts. And who could possibly have thought Nicholas Cage could play an action role?” Jeez, you guys seemed to like “Con Air”- what changed between then and now? I remember a scene from “Bad Boys” (back when Bruckheimer was somewhat under control) in which there’s a heist scene that is so ineptly cut as to mount a blitzkreig into the territory of the Republic of Selfparodia. It goes like this: Explosion Guys in black suits with nightvision scrambling around Explosion Some metal thingy zipping up and down Guys in black suits Metal thingy zips up and down once again Guys in black suits Explosion Metal thingy Black suits Thingy Suits Thingy Explosion Suits exeunt. (And remember the LOUD MUSIC playing all through this. What is this, an FBI siege?) Huh? What was all that about? I think they stole something. Maybe money? And maybe they shoved it through a hole with a metal thingy? Or something? -Ben ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2001, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pearl-harbor-is-going-to-suck/65771/57 "2001-05-24T06:07:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Journeyman \* > \*\*Or maybe the fact that the movie portrayed a torrid affair between Wallace and Edward II’s wife. They never met. \*\* Oh, ye of little faith! Just because Edward II’s wife never set foot on England until long after Wallace was dead? They met over the internet! 😛 In any event, I’m still waiting for the climactic scene in “Pearl Harbor” where Admiral Nagumo orders Godzilla, Rodan and Mothra to seek out the enemy carriers while the fleet bombs Pearl, only to have the Americans attempt to intercept the spaceship with the brainwashing center and take control of the monsters…then at the end, FDR wakes up and it’s all a dream. Oh, I forgot the dedication, a la Showgirls: “This movie is dedicated to war, blood, devastation and death” ---
**Author:** ![Katisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bcef8e/32.png) [@Katisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katisha)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2001, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pearl-harbor-is-going-to-suck/65771/58 "2001-05-24T06:19:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DRY \* > \*\*Oh, ye of little faith! > > Just because Edward II’s wife never set foot on England until long after Wallace was dead? > > They met over the internet! 😛 > \*\* Ha! The bit that always amuses me, though, is when Isabel whispers to the dying (and unable to speak) Edward Longshanks that she’s pregnant with Wallace’s child – because Longshanks outlived Wallace by two years. What’s really sad, though, is that my sister’s ninth-grade world-history teacher thought that particular aspect of Braveheart was historically accurate! :eek: (I had the same teacher for a different class, and that doesn’t surprise me in the least.) ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2001, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pearl-harbor-is-going-to-suck/65771/59 "2001-05-24T06:31:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Katisha \* > \*\*Ha! > > The bit that always amuses me, though, is when Isabel whispers to the dying (and unable to speak) Edward Longshanks that she’s pregnant with Wallace’s child – because Longshanks outlived Wallace by two years. > > What’s really sad, though, is that my sister’s ninth-grade world-history teacher thought that particular aspect of Braveheart was historically accurate! :eek: (I had the same teacher for a different class, and that doesn’t surprise me in the least.) \*\* Yep. Also, there was no evidence that Wallace lost Falkirk because of betrayal by the nobles. (I’m also skeptical about Bruce fighting on the English side at Falkirk.) And the Bruces had little, or nothing to do with Wallace’s capture–it was a man named “Monteith” (sp?) To say nothing of the fact that Wallace supported Bruce’s rival for the throne, the head of the Baliol clan. Finally, Isabel tells Edward I (I believe she came to England only after Longshanks was dead and Edward II was king) that his son will not sit long on the throne. 20 years is a long time. Two things they actually got right: 1. The implied homo/bisexuality of Edward II. 2. Robert the Bruce was a notorious side switcher, playing the English and Scots off each other. [sub]Katisha, you, me and Journeyman should probably start a new thread about why Braveheart was crappy history, and stop hijacking this thread[/sub] 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![jab1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ee7513/32.png) [@jab1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jab1)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2001, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pearl-harbor-is-going-to-suck/65771/60 "2001-05-24T18:27:22Z")
I don’t care much for Jerry Bruckheimer movies, but I will put in a good word for the TV series his company produces: _CSI: Crime Scene Investigators._ A bit flashy (injuries are re-enacted with inside-the-body POVs; the cinematography features weird camera angles and lighting), but it shows how crimes are solved with the proper application of the scientific method. (Although it would be more realistic if they did not solve EVERY crime they come across.) The characters are quirky and interesting and yet believable and plausible and the writing is good. In fact, I think it was TV’s best new drama. In fact, the show is so good, it may be a sign that Bruckheimer has little to do with it except sign the paychecks! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pearl-harbor-is-going-to-suck/65771.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pearl-harbor-is-going-to-suck/65771.md?page=4)