# Pedophile in my home. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 12, 2004, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pedophile-in-my-home/239678 "2004-04-12T22:28:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Gadfly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/aeb1de/32.png) [@Gadfly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadfly)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pedophile-in-my-home/239678/41 "2004-04-13T12:58:47Z")
> [@belladonna](#): > > So anyway–what’s the straight dope on pedophiles who focus on young girls in their fantasies? Are they likely to molest little boys? IIRC, paedophilia is more age-based than gender-based. ---
**Author:** ![flight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbce88/32.png) [@flight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flight)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pedophile-in-my-home/239678/42 "2004-04-13T13:07:10Z")
I have heard from people around here like **Mercotan** , that it is those who focus boys or boys/girls that are more likely to molest than those who focus on girls alone. Is there any relation to the propensity of “barely legal” (age wise) porn and pedophilia? I admit to a bit of porn surfing myself, and some of the stuff you find (which supposedly is of of age women) looks to me to be way too young. Is this stuff catering to the fringe pedophile or is it just another kink? And where do you draw the line? ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pedophile-in-my-home/239678/43 "2004-04-13T13:16:55Z")
> [@SanguineSpider](#): > > Give me ten minutes alone with this piece of shit/scumbag/ **waste of flesh** … he’d never think about another child in a sexual way again! > What kind of mind could ever find that arousing?? After all, violence is better than thought crimes. > [@](#): > > I wish instant, horrible, PAINFUL death on every pedophile out there because there is no reason these people should be allowed to take another breath!! They are SICK, EVIL, and WRONG! Because they chose to become a pedophile. ---
**Author:** ![htns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ba8739/32.png) [@htns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/htns)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pedophile-in-my-home/239678/44 "2004-04-13T13:49:16Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > Because they chose to become a pedophile. People don’t choose to become pedosexual\* any more than they choose to be gay, straight, bi, or transgender - it’s just the way their brains are wired. Still sick and wrong, of course, but the attraction itself is not a choice. If you want to tell me that ACTING on that urge is a choice, I agree, but the urge itself isn’t It’s either there or it isn’t. At any rate, give the bum the boot, then talk to a lawyer. Good luck, lotsa good vibes your way. \*The word “pedosexual” is more accurate than “pedophile” as the word “pedophile” literally means “lover of children”. It comes from the Greek “philos” which means “brotherly love” (The Greek for sexual love is “eros”). Since there isn’t anything at all loving in harming a child, I’ll go for a more accurate term. ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pedophile-in-my-home/239678/45 "2004-04-13T13:54:21Z")
I want to echo strongly the suggestion that you get a lawyer. The unfortunate thing is that the FBI’s “Innocent Images” (which is the dept. who is in charge of this kind of thing) dept. spends a great deal of their time looking for and prosecuting people who posess child porn images. At this moment, you posess child porn images. We’d all like to believe that the FBI would desend upon this pervert weilding swords of rightous fire, be careful that an uncaring buerocracy dosen’t desend upon you. I had a friend several years ago who was duped into accepting child pornography from someone she knew, she saved it for evidence and came to me for advice, I contacted Innocent Images to see if they would help in prosecuting the person who duped my friend, and the agent I talked to seemed all gung ho to prosecute my friend! As far as they were concerned, posession was the only crime, and the circumstances were immaterial. Be very, very careful, a lawyer experienced in this type of law is a necessity. ---
**Author:** ![badbadrubberpiggy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/57b2e6/32.png) [@badbadrubberpiggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badbadrubberpiggy)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pedophile-in-my-home/239678/46 "2004-04-13T14:00:05Z")
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again - V. deserves NO sympathy for her actions. I don’t know of the exact statistics on how likely a pedophile who shows a preference for girls is to molest boys, but would any of you, in truth, let a man who you think has even the slightest chance of hurting your children remain in your house? I highly doubt it - even if she thinks he most likely wont’ touch her sons, what kind of mother says to herself, “well, this man PROBABLY won’t molest my kids b/c he only likes girls, so he can stay for awhile”? And yes, I understand that she’s doing this for some amount of security, but if he hurts her kids, they sure as hell won’t see it that way when they’re going through years of therapy their insurance won’t pay for, and neither will mom because she’s found another loser to latch on to (and no, I dont’ speak from experience, I’m just more imaginitive when irate). Even if he never touches her sons, if they find out about his child porn fetish (assuming they dont know), they still have to live with the fact that mom let a pedophile live in their house. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pedophile-in-my-home/239678/47 "2004-04-13T14:21:03Z")
> [@Gr8Kat](#): > > Oh, and I’ve still got the floppy right here in a zip-lock baggy. it hasn’t been cut up or burned, just slightly mauled. If they can get data off of it, would they still want to seize Joel’s computer? I hope not. ☹ It is my understanding that they can recover data from burned, smashed, mutilated media. If it’s there, they should be able to recover at least SOME of it. Call the police chief (after you’ve spoken to the lawyer) and demand that he get on it right away. If he doesn’ t listen, maybe the mayor would. ---
**Author:** ![Hamlet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hamlet/32/2818_2.png) [@Hamlet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamlet)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pedophile-in-my-home/239678/48 "2004-04-13T14:28:33Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > After all, violence is better than thought crimes. Hate to burst your bubble, but possession of child pornography is not just a “thought” crime. It’s a criminal offense in which this scumbag had to take positive, intentional steps to obtain visual depictions of the horrible abuse of children. I’m not advocating violence, of course, but saying that “P” is only guilty of a thought crime is blatantly wrong, and borders on making an excuse for the guy. > [@ludovic](#): > > Because they chose to become a pedophile. No, “P” chose to support a trade founded on the continued abuse of helpless children. This isn’t a case where P is sitting around wacking it to thoughts, he’s gone out and obtained visual depictions of the torture of children. ---
**Author:** ![belladonna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9fc29f/32.png) [@belladonna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/belladonna)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pedophile-in-my-home/239678/49 "2004-04-13T14:47:15Z")
**Hamlet** , to be fair **SS** specifically said "I wish instant, horrible, PAINFUL death on \*\*every pedophile \*\* out there because there is no reason these people should be allowed to take another breath!! They are SICK, EVIL, and WRONG! " (bolding mine) That is what Ludovic was referring to with his second comment, and I believe he has a valid point. Pedophiles and molesters are not always one in the same thing. ---
**Author:** ![tanookie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/48db29/32.png) [@tanookie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tanookie)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pedophile-in-my-home/239678/50 "2004-04-13T15:03:02Z")
You’ve gotten some good advice as far as protecting yourselves goes… I lived with a molester (not a pedophile - I know the difference and he did not stop when I hit puberty…) My mother knew. My aunts knew. No one did anything. My brother told anyone who would listen and they all took the accusations to my father (my abuser) instead of the police. He denied everything and nothing changed for me. My mother walked in on him and saw him physically naked on top of me. She remained in denial that this was serious. To this day she does not understand why it is such a big deal for me. She did not want to kick him out because she would not have been able to afford the house payment alone. She decided much like V that finances were more important than the physical safety of her children. Do not let this person back into your home. Give the remnants of the disk to the lawyer - he will probably be best able to get it to the proper division of the FBI. Do not feel badly if the authorities break up this family. This man should not be around children. He’s daring enough to bring his materials to someone else’s home and obviously was nonchalant enough about this to have forgotten a disk. He may have wanted to be caught before he could offend or he has been offending without getting caught and has let down his guard. I feel for everyone involved here. Especially those kids. ---
**Author:** ![TaxGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b19c9b/32.png) [@TaxGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TaxGuy)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pedophile-in-my-home/239678/51 "2004-04-13T15:16:21Z")
Hey **Gr8kat** , sorry this had to happen to you. That being said, I need to yell at you a little bit: STOP pussy-footing around with the local police and call the goddamn FBI already!!! Jesus H. Jive-dancing Christ on a pogo stick!! It’s really hard for me to read your post saying “I called the police and they don’t seem to care”–fuck them, call the FBI! ---
**Author:** ![Hamlet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hamlet/32/2818_2.png) [@Hamlet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamlet)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pedophile-in-my-home/239678/52 "2004-04-13T15:17:55Z")
> [@belladonna](#): > > **Hamlet** , to be fair **SS** specifically said > "I wish instant, horrible, PAINFUL death on \*\*every pedophile \*\* out there because there is no reason these people should be allowed to take another breath!! They are SICK, EVIL, and WRONG! " (bolding mine) > That is what Ludovic was referring to with his second comment, and I believe he has a valid point. Pedophiles and molesters are not always one in the same thing. Agreed. If **Ludovic** , in his second comment, was referring only to pedophiles who take no volitional actions and do nothing to support the child pornography trade, and not referring to “P” specifically, I apologize for misconsturing his statement. ---
**Author:** ![liirogue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dbc845/32.png) [@liirogue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/liirogue)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pedophile-in-my-home/239678/53 "2004-04-13T18:49:03Z")
Do you have an update for us **Gr8kat**? ---
**Author:** ![TaxGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b19c9b/32.png) [@TaxGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TaxGuy)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pedophile-in-my-home/239678/54 "2004-04-13T19:25:14Z")
I’ve decided that my post above did not contain a sufficient number of exclamation marks. So here are some more: !!! !!! ! !! !!! !!! !! ! ! !! ! ! ---
**Author:** ![ENugent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/4af34b/32.png) [@ENugent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ENugent)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pedophile-in-my-home/239678/55 "2004-04-13T19:42:18Z")
I’m as sickened as everyone else here. But I don’t think you should call the FBI. You should call your lawyer, and get him to call the FBI, on behalf of a (currently) undisclosed client. You may need that protection to keep them from coming after you, instead. Keep us posted (to the extent that your lawyer allows), please. ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pedophile-in-my-home/239678/56 "2004-04-13T20:43:12Z")
> [@tanookie](#): > > I lived with a molester (not a pedophile - I know the difference and he did not stop when I hit puberty…) I am so very sorry you had to endure that horrible childhood. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pedophile-in-my-home/239678/57 "2004-04-13T22:59:11Z")
Yeah, the post I referred to wished grisly death on all pedophiles. While I would not even wish that on all molesters (on a great number of them, though,) wishing that on pedophiles is ridiculous. w/r/t the OP, In this situation, even though the man apparently has images of only girls I would still be wary about his relationship with the children around him of both genders. But that doesn’t mean escalating that into physical violence, even in my thoughts. But possessing that much pornography of that nature should certainly be prosecuted with the highest priority possible. After all, besides murder, the _specific_ actions required to produce those images are the worst I can imagine. ---
**Author:** ![Gr8Kat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gr8kat/32/18668_2.png) [@Gr8Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gr8Kat)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2004, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pedophile-in-my-home/239678/58 "2004-04-14T00:00:01Z")
I called an attorney, but I only spoke to their assistant. She didn’t have any advice besides document everything, which I have been in LJ. Other than that, it would cost $250 an hour to come talk to the lawyer himself. Fuck. So I went to the FBI’s innocent images page. I’m mindful of what WeirdDave posted above, but I went ahead and submitted a report using their Cybertip program. John Ashcroft have mercy on my soul. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2004, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pedophile-in-my-home/239678/59 "2004-04-14T00:06:53Z")
> [@flight](#): > > I have heard from people around here like **Mercotan** , that it is those who focus boys or boys/girls that are more likely to molest than those who focus on girls alone. Nuh-uh. Sex offenders who abuse only females who are family members, and who get arrested, and get treatment, are less likely to be re-arrested for child sexual abuse crimes than those who abuse males or both sexes. > **[Can PedophilesBe "Cured"?](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=249614)** > > There is a man here in Massachusetts, who is about to be released from prison. His name is James Porter, and he has readily admitted to molesting over 100 children. As a catholic priest in the 1950’s-60’s, he regularly sought victims among the... Here’s some great risk assessment data: Warning, it’s technical, and you’ve got to slog thru a lot of stuff. But it’s another good site, in addition to the site I cited in the above link. [http://www.annasalter.com/handouts.html](http://www.annasalter.com/handouts.html) Otherwise, go with the advice here. Call the FBI, and don’t buy any of the excuses, rationalizations or sob stories from the perp or his significant others. ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2004, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pedophile-in-my-home/239678/60 "2004-04-14T00:11:39Z")
**Gr8kat** , you’re definitely doing the right thing. Stay strong! And thank you for putting forth the effort to help save innocent children. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pedophile-in-my-home/239678.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pedophile-in-my-home/239678.md?page=4)