# Pee Question (not a troll) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 7, 2000, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pee-question-not-a-troll/15755 "2000-04-07T15:17:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Germ\_Boy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/85e7bf/32.png) [@Germ\_Boy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Germ_Boy)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2000, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pee-question-not-a-troll/15755/1 "2000-04-07T15:17:00Z")
Alright, at the risk of earning an odd reputation, I have a legitimate urination question. How many guys (women too, I suppose) regularly pee outside on their own lawn? Privately, of course, without elements of exhibitionism. I found myself in my yard last week, doing a lot of gardening when the “need” struck. Muddy and gnarly, I decided to just ‘water the lawn’ behind a tree. Relief and I didn’t have to interrupt my work flow (no pun) nor dirty up the house. Any others of you partake in this normal human but probably frowned upon activity? ---
**Author:** ![WIGGUM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ce7236/32.png) [@WIGGUM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WIGGUM)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2000, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pee-question-not-a-troll/15755/2 "2000-04-07T15:23:00Z")
Germ Boy. I like visiting my parents house because they live in a very rural area, and I ofter relieve myself off of their back porch. It’s usually a night when I’m letting their dog out to pee. I love the feeling of peeing under the stars. Hmmm. “Peeing under the stars” That sounds kind of odd. “Last week I took a piss underneath Minnie Driver and Harrison Ford.” Oh well. ---
**Author:** ![WIGGUM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ce7236/32.png) [@WIGGUM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WIGGUM)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2000, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pee-question-not-a-troll/15755/3 "2000-04-07T15:40:00Z")
Uh, that should have been “often” not “ofter.” ---
**Author:** ![ReservoirDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8edcca/32.png) [@ReservoirDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ReservoirDog)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2000, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pee-question-not-a-troll/15755/4 "2000-04-07T15:56:00Z")
Don’t have a yard of my own anymore, and I don’t think the neighbors would understand. But, growing up, my brother and I would run wild in the woods and fields behind my grandparents house all the time. Of course, we just “went” whenever and wherever we needed to. Or gardening, mowing the lawn, even shovelling snow (watchout for frostbite), whenever you’re outside and busy, there’s really no good reason to go inside for the thirty seconds it is going to take to do your business. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2000, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pee-question-not-a-troll/15755/5 "2000-04-07T16:17:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by ReservoirDog: > \*\*Don’t have a yard of my own anymore, and I don’t think the neighbors would understand. > > But, growing up, my brother and I would run wild in the woods and fields behind my grandparents house all the time. Of course, we just “went” whenever and wherever we needed to. Or gardening, mowing the lawn, even shovelling snow (watchout for frostbite), whenever you’re outside and busy, there’s really no good reason to go inside for the thirty seconds it is going to take to do your business.\*\* I can think of a good reason: The rest of us don’t really want to walk through/sit in your pee. * * * – I have over 2000 posts, dammit! Show some respect. [http://fathom.org/opalcat/showmerespect.jpg](http://fathom.org/opalcat/showmerespect.jpg) O p a l C a t [www.opalcat.com](http://www.opalcat.com) ---
**Author:** ![Germ\_Boy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/85e7bf/32.png) [@Germ\_Boy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Germ_Boy)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2000, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pee-question-not-a-troll/15755/6 "2000-04-08T05:14:00Z")
Opal, I’d never cast my water in some elses property, though their canine-child-surrogate regularly wees on my lawn. Is there a difference? At least I don’t take a dump in my neighbor’s lawn and pick it up in a baggie. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2000, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pee-question-not-a-troll/15755/7 "2000-04-08T05:22:00Z")
Would you believe that this has been a hot topic in Ann Landers/Dear Abby (I can never get those two straight) over the past few years. Women write in compaining about their husbands peeing on the lawn, men write in saying why they do it… It seems a crucial distinction must be made between peeing on the lawn in a densely populated area where others can see you, and peeing on the lawn in a more secluded area. It is obviously rude to whip it out where the neighbors can see you, but if nobody can see you, I think it is a great idea. Think of how much water you save by not having to flush! ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2000, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pee-question-not-a-troll/15755/8 "2000-04-08T05:26:00Z")
How about a related topic: men who pee on the side of the road in full view of passing motorists? I honk at them. As a MiniSwimmingRiddle, I ran amuck in the woods of Vermont, and knew well enough to always bring one of those pocket tissue packets with me. When you’re three miles into the woods, in the midst of a pine-cone war with your friend, hiking back to sit on a glorified piss-pot doesn’t make sense. ---
**Author:** ![ReservoirDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8edcca/32.png) [@ReservoirDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ReservoirDog)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2000, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pee-question-not-a-troll/15755/9 "2000-04-08T05:40:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by OpalCat: > \*\* I can think of a good reason: The rest of us don’t really want to walk through/sit in your pee. > > \*\* I agree. I only did it on my own property. Trespassers beware!! ---
**Author:** ![Vestal\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5e9695/32.png) [@Vestal\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vestal_Blue)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2000, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pee-question-not-a-troll/15755/10 "2000-04-07T18:15:00Z")
Lessee. Urine is pretty close to sterile (unless you have one hell of a UTI), and is 99% water. I have one bathroom, a wife, and 3 daughters. Sometimes the need arises, the br is occupied, it’s night. I just go out back with the dogs. If it’s daylight, I hold it. And besides, you can write your name with big sweeping motions when outside! This tends to ‘piss’ off the wife if attempted indoors. 😃 * * * VB Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2000, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pee-question-not-a-troll/15755/11 "2000-04-07T18:30:00Z")
So, when peeing in the yard, do you just [unzip the fly or do you undo the pants?](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/006627.html) And if you do just unzip the fly, [do you use the "penis window"](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/006552.html)in your tightie whities? ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2000, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pee-question-not-a-troll/15755/12 "2000-04-07T20:08:00Z")
On vacation in Florida, my FIL and I played alot of golf. I usually took my son with us (next Tiger Woods and all, you know). My doughter, all of 3 or 4 at the time, asked if she could go one time. Not being a sexist father, and not caring which of my kid’s superstar salary supports me in my old age, I said “Sure”. Sure enough, playing the hole farthest from the clubhouse, daughter says “Daddy, I gotta go potty!”. Understand that most golf courses do not provide porta-potties. Actually, they do. They’re called “the woods”. A drive back to the clubhouse means a 20-30 minute delay, and upon return your group has to somehow slide in between the other groups who were behind you. All to take care of a 30 second task. I told my daughter that she could go behind a tree, which actually excited her no end - “I get to pee outside? COOL!”. I forget that pleasure is predominately reserved for the male of the species. After explaining to her that she would need to completely remove her pants (I thought that squatting and aiming around a bunch of clothes at her ankles would be more than she could handle), she said “OK, but where is the toilet paper?”. Hm, good question! Sorry, but most guys don’t carry TP or moist towelettes on a golf outing. There’s not even a compartment for that kind of stuff on most golf bags. A quick inventory revealed an old, reletively clean golf towel. I instructed her to use the towel and just leave it in the woods (now you’ll think twice about picked up that “lost” golf towel, won’t you?). She went joyfully off to do her business while FIL (who was enjoying this predicament a little too much) and I played our next shot. Predictably, the course marshall, out making his rounds, came into view at exactly the same time my daughter emerged from the woods. She was skipping. Gleefully. Naked from the waist down. Clothes in one hand, a golf towel in the other. Screaming over and over “I DID IT, DADDY! I WENT PEE-PEE IN THE WOODS!”. I had visions of being asked to leave the course, if not the State, until I glanced in the direction of the marshall. Poor guy was laughing so hard he nearly wrecked his golf cart. He never even slowed down as he passed. **sigh** It’s just _so_ much easier to raise a male. * * * Sig! Sig a Sog! Sig it loud! Sig it Strog! – Karen Carpenter with a head cold ---
**Author:** ![neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3ab097/32.png) [@neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neuro-trash_grrrl)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2000, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pee-question-not-a-troll/15755/13 "2000-04-07T23:46:00Z")
If you are, like me, one of the small-bladdered folk, you tend to need to go really badly at the worst possible times. You’ll be stuck in a store with no public restrooms, driving your car someplace where the facilities are few and far between, or something to that effect, and at times like those, there’s nothing for it but to go out into the alley, or behind a bush, or something, and take care of it, quickly, before someone sees you. But on your own lawn? Even I’m not that bad… Backyard, maybe. Lawn, no. * * * Heck is where you go when you don’t believe in Gosh. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2000, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pee-question-not-a-troll/15755/14 "2000-04-08T16:06:00Z")
If a man urinates in the woods, and there’s no one around to see it, did he really pee? * * * “I must leave this planet, if only for an hour.” – Antoine de St. Exupéry Are you a turtle? ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2000, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pee-question-not-a-troll/15755/15 "2000-04-09T05:25:00Z")
I’m a small bladdered folk, also. There have been time when I’ve been driving home from a club at 2:30 in the morning, and I simply _can’t_ wait. You do what ya gotta do… I also go outside when I’ve got \< ahem \> wood. It sinmply easier than trying to achieve the special three-point-stance-bending-at-the-waist-position needed to be ontaget in the bathroom. But maybe I’ve said too much… 😉 * * * You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing. ---
**Author:** ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2000, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pee-question-not-a-troll/15755/16 "2000-04-08T18:11:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Sealemon88: > \*\*I also go outside when I’ve got \< ahem \> wood. It sinmply easier than trying to achieve the special three-point-stance-bending-at-the-waist-position needed to be on target in the bathroom. But maybe I’ve said too much… 😉 > \*\* Yes, you _have_ said too much. 😉 I always wondered if other people had this problem, and, as I am not very good at handstands and don’t really have a private yard, the three point stance is my only option. Not an easy feat when you’re just waking up in the morning. * * * Just make yourself comfy while I shoot nuclear particles into your heart. (Courtesy of Wally) ---
**Author:** ![Catrandom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7bcc69/32.png) [@Catrandom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catrandom)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2000, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pee-question-not-a-troll/15755/17 "2000-04-08T19:07:00Z")
## The things you learn around here :o ## Catrandom Go to a vet that’s also a taxidermist. Either way, you’ll get your cat back. _Sig courtesy of the amazing WallyM7_ ---
**Author:** ![Catrandom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7bcc69/32.png) [@Catrandom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catrandom)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2000, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pee-question-not-a-troll/15755/18 "2000-04-08T19:08:00Z")
🙂 For fear that sounded rude 🙂 🙂 Catrandom ---
**Author:** ![ZenBeam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/3ab097/32.png) [@ZenBeam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZenBeam)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2000, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pee-question-not-a-troll/15755/19 "2000-04-08T19:43:00Z")
> [@](#): > > The things you learn around here The things you don’t even _understand_ here. 😕 * * * _It is too clear, and so it is hard to see._ ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2000, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pee-question-not-a-troll/15755/20 "2000-04-09T02:25:00Z")
All right, I’ll 'fess up, too… **What** are you guys talking about??? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pee-question-not-a-troll/15755.md?page=2)