# "Pee" **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 7, 2016, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pee/742442 "2016-01-07T21:15:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![orderfire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/orderfire/32/10908_2.png) [@orderfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/orderfire)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2016, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pee/742442/81 "2016-01-11T14:19:56Z")
My co-worker inevitably gives the unnecessary details on her bathroom activities. Really, if we’re getting ready to meet with the boss, you don’t need to tell us both that you “have to go pee”. UGH. Grow up. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2016, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pee/742442/82 "2016-01-11T15:20:31Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > course language What? I meant the language you use on the golf course. I couldn’t have made a typo because it was 2AM, no sirree. Not me! ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2016, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pee/742442/83 "2016-01-11T15:37:48Z")
> [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > I have the “I Need To Pee Song,” which I sometimes find myself muttering tunelessly in the middle of the night: > _I need to peeee, > I neeeeeeed to peeeeeee_ Hee. I sing to John Denver’s I want to live, I want to grow / I want to see, I want to know / I want to share, what I can give / I want to be, I want to live I gotta pee/I gotta go… ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2016, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pee/742442/84 "2016-01-11T15:39:59Z")
> [@orderfire](#): > > My co-worker inevitably gives the unnecessary details on her bathroom activities. Really, if we’re getting ready to meet with the boss, you don’t need to tell us both that you “have to go pee”. UGH. Grow up. This is a perfect example of what I was talking about. So immature and unappealing. ---
**Author:** ![CT\_Damsel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CT\_Damsel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CT_Damsel)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2016, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pee/742442/85 "2016-01-11T17:49:31Z")
> [@chappachula](#): > > A wonderful expression I have heard from Nigerian tourists asking for the restroom is: > **"Where can I ease myself? "** > > Sounds pretty classy to my ears. I will now use this (bolding mine) in place of “where is the bathroom?” It is so deliciously refined and civilized. I want it to be mandatory. 🙂 Thank you chappachula! ---
**Author:** ![jabiru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bbce88/32.png) [@jabiru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jabiru)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2016, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pee/742442/86 "2016-01-11T23:54:43Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > Interesting that you’re that Australian. I always picture you guys as using more course language. > > … > > Usually I say “go the bathroom”. We can be, for sure. I usually say “go to the loo” but I often need to ask my patients about intake/output etc, so I say pee and poo to them. Some are very forthcoming in telling me they need to piss. Ugh. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2016, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pee/742442/87 "2016-01-12T01:24:20Z")
I loathe it; it’s a little kid word for little kids, not for adults. > [@CT\_Damsel](#): > > … I never hear it. With whom do you associate that finds it necessary to broadcast their personal elimination requirements? … Medical technicians that need to test various bodily fluids for various things. I used to be annoyed by the command, “Pee in this cup”, but now I just correct them and say, “urinate”. > [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > Out of curiosity, what is your preferred terminology? “Pardon me for a moment”. (No, not “excuse for for a minute”, that means “I have to check my phone.”) ---
**Author:** ![Elemenopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b5e925/32.png) [@Elemenopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elemenopy)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2016, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pee/742442/88 "2016-01-12T02:18:29Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > I ask my patients “any trouble passing your urine?” > > If I get a confused response from them, my next question is “any trouble peeing?” > > I have to default to that version about half the time. And everyone answers that version without problems. I’ve had quite a few visits to the hospital and innumerable clinician appointments. Without fail, the nurse (or aide, etc.) will refer to it as “pee.” It used to make me raise an eyebrow, but I’ve gotten used to it. ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2016, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pee/742442/89 "2016-01-13T05:27:19Z")
I don’t particularly care what term people use for it. I don’t need to hear any details on the subject, so I mostly tune it out, but it doesn’t bother me. If someone makes a habit of announcing every trip to the toilet, I may toss back, “I’ll alert the media.” when they say something about it. I don’t generally feel the need to announce pit stops, either. If people need to know I’m going to be away briefly, I usually just say, “I’ll be back in a moment.” Occasionally, in the right group, I might say something about going to the euphemism, because that line still amuses me after all these years. In online games, it’s pretty common to say, “bio break” to indicate that you’re going to be AFK for a brief time (and that it might be a good time for others to do the same). Mostly, though, I’m posting because I love this bit from the “Ode to the Four-Letter Words”: "You may wee wee, make water, or empty the glass; You can powder your nose–even “Johnny " may pass; Shake the dew off the lily, see the man about a dog, Or, when everyone’s drunk, it’s condensing the fog, But be pleased to remember, if you would know bliss, That only in Shakespeare do characters piss.” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2016, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pee/742442/90 "2016-01-14T18:54:25Z")
Was just talking about the word “pee” last night. It always sounded juvenile to me. An ex-Marine friend said he was going to pee and when he got back I asked him if he got his frilly panties wet. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2016, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pee/742442/91 "2016-01-14T19:31:01Z")
I think those who hate “pee” Are themselves very twee Since at my mother’s knee It was necessary to denote brevity So I’ll continue its use with levity ---
**Author:** ![Zyanthia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Zyanthia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyanthia)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2016, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pee/742442/92 "2016-01-14T20:09:13Z")
Oh, please. Pee is a model of efficiency. Piss takes one too many letters. Urinate and micturate both have too many syllables. It rhymes (as\*\* faithfool\*\* demonstrates) with so many words. I have more to say, but I have to pee. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2016, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pee/742442/93 "2016-01-14T20:11:35Z")
Pee uses two too many letters. Guess which two? ---
**Author:** ![Dorjan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dorjan/32/12440_2.png) [@Dorjan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dorjan)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2016, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pee/742442/94 "2016-01-14T20:43:02Z")
“Take a leak” and “Drop the Browns off at the Super Bowl” for me. The latter is always good for a couple of chuckles. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Stainless\_Steel\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_stainless_steel_rat/32/5727_2.png) [@The\_Stainless\_Steel\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Stainless_Steel_Rat)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2016, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pee/742442/95 "2016-01-14T20:52:23Z")
If I feel the need to announce it (mostly at work so my colleagues know I’m away from my desk), I tend to go Douglas McArthur and say “I shall return.” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2016, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pee/742442/96 "2016-01-14T21:04:37Z")
What was the Welshman doing beside the road? Having a leak. ---
**Author:** ![Small\_Hen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ad7895/32.png) [@Small\_Hen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Small_Hen)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2016, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pee/742442/97 "2016-01-14T22:51:42Z")
At work, I say, “I’m gonna run to the restroom.” At home, I say, “I’m gonna go to the bathroom.” I think most people have a good idea of what I’m doing in there, and they don’t need confirmation. That said, I have no problem with, “I have to pee.” It’s casual, kinda cute, basically harmless. If you have to poop, and I don’t need to know about it, I don’t _want_ to know about it. With my patients, I use urinate and bowel movement. I’ve rarely if ever had to clarify. I do work with a woman who tells us when she needs to poop. She gets to Fat Bastard levels of graphic about it (think “prairie dogging” “touching cloth” “stomach gurgling” levels). I just laugh. What can you do? ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2016, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pee/742442/98 "2016-01-14T23:06:24Z")
> [@Small\_Hen](#): > > If you have to poop, and I don’t need to know about it, I don’t _want_ to know about it. You sound like my wife. If I say, ‘I need to defecate,’ she says ‘I don’t really need to know that.’ ---
**Author:** ![carrps](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carrps/32/2957_2.png) [@carrps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrps)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2016, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pee/742442/99 "2016-01-14T23:14:22Z")
I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone ever say they had to urinate. Sounds so clinical. Someone once said they used boom-boom when their baby had to poop. We use that for our dogs. Oh, no, Shanni didn’t boom-boom this morning or this afternoon! ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2016, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pee/742442/100 "2016-01-14T23:38:01Z")
> [@Totenfeier](#): > > By the way, I’ve always wondered - wouldn’t you want to _leave_ a dump - not _take_ one?:dubious: I’ve always wondered why you see locks on bathroom doors. I never leave anything anyone would want to steal. > [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Pee uses **two too** many letters. Guess which two? (Bolding mine) Two jokes in one! I’ve heard “two-two” (sp?) as a euphemism for cacadoody. Also: “winky tink” (for wizz) and “dooky squat” for you know. Finally: My nephew once reported that he and his fellow young adults referred to fecal extrusion as “Dropping the kids off at the pool.” Which was quickly shortened to “Poolside” as in “Bob will be back in a minute- he’s poolside.” ETA: I sometimes will announce to Mrs. Cretin with faux happiness: “Darling, we’re going to have a fece!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pee/742442.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pee/742442.md?page=6)