# Peeing at Night **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 17, 2005, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/peeing-at-night/331558 "2005-11-17T22:16:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Zabali\_Clawbane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecd19e/32.png) [@Zabali\_Clawbane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zabali_Clawbane)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/peeing-at-night/331558/21 "2005-11-18T04:20:57Z")
I leave the lights off, and glasses off. I don’t need to see to get around a house that’s familiar to me for simple things like going to the bathroom. If I’m in an unfamiliar house, I might put on my glasses and go slowly by touch so I don’t wake up my hosts. ---
**Author:** ![Lakai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9de0a6/32.png) [@Lakai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lakai)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/peeing-at-night/331558/22 "2005-11-18T05:16:45Z")
I have a night light in the bathroom. It makes things easier. Though sometimes my eyes aren’t adjusted well enough to see in the bathroom so I just take a shot in the dark. If I miss once, I adjust my aim and try again. If I miss again, I turn on the lights. Excellent poem **Hal Briston**. The stuff about pissing on your cat’s head but being too sleepy to care was hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/peeing-at-night/331558/23 "2005-11-18T05:46:29Z")
Once in the darkness (at cold and dismal hour) I thought to rise, although my mood was sour An urgency did just begin To banish sleep from deep within I moved the covers back, my face was dour A maze of dirty clothes and shoes challenged my feet As awkwardly I slipped from 'neath the sheet I stumbled forward tripped and, well, I clutched the dresser ere I fell And stubbed my toe there, and it weren’t a treat My pad, it comes equipped with slinky cat Who likes to weave between my legs, and that Due mostly to my sleepy state Annoyed me, made me most irate I briefly wished to hold a baseball bat On task I focus, one hand on the wall I shuffle in the darkness down the hall The doorknob to my finger’s touch Doth make me savor very much The moment when the arc begins to fall I’m lazy, true, (or so it has been said) And maybe not OK within the head Do I detect the cover’s weight? My voyage in a dreaming state While actually I’m still within my bed? It seems to me I have attained my goal The shape before me seems to be the bowl But dare I let go, dare I pee, What if this is illusory? Bedwetter just is not my fav’rite role ---
**Author:** ![Kitchen\_Wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f08c70/32.png) [@Kitchen\_Wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kitchen_Wench)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/peeing-at-night/331558/24 "2005-11-18T12:09:59Z")
At 4:30 this morn I woke with a start. Not because I had to pee But for fear of a wet a fart. Dreading the chill of the cold wood floor, I tiptoed my way through the bedroom door. Darkness not a worry as we keep a lamp lit. My buttocks got goosebumps as I began to sit. A pee was commencing and then something more, an eerie groan from my belly warned I had more in store. “Oh what had I eaten?” I pondered in gloom, to bring me so early to this unglamourous room. “Doesn’t matter, silly girl” said my gurgling belly. “I get irritable when your stressed or relaxed, watching telly.” I waited for the fallout, dread filling my soul. I expected to spackle my freshly-scrubbed bowl. And then just a whisper, a titter, a squeak came forth from between my pasty-white cheeks. Ah! False alarm! I almost cackled with glee… It seemed I indeed, just needed to pee. I cleaned myself up, and went back to my bed, snuggled under my blanket, the cat purred at my head. Drifting back softly to slumber and bliss, I jolted awake, something definitely amiss. This time I sprinted, No time to waste. I had to get to the bathroom And quick! Post haste! No false alarm, I was certain of that. I sat on the toilet, and proceeded to crap. Lava is what I thought it must be, My ass was on fire, ringing alarms of three. [ok, I’m stretching a bit here] And when I was done, I had more pain to endure My soft toidy paper turned into 20-grit, I was was sure. And so, dear friends this is how I’ve come To tell you early in the morning of my poor, painful bum. Damn you, IBS! Damn you to HELL! ---
**Author:** ![drewbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drewbert/32/15890_2.png) [@drewbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewbert)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/peeing-at-night/331558/25 "2005-11-18T12:22:47Z")
I don’t touch the lights until I get back to the entrance to the bedroom. In the dark I can’t see whatever might be left on the floor (including the cat), nor can I judge the distance to the bed. My solution is to flip the light on for about half a second - long enough to register a path back, short enough not wake me up any further. ---
**Author:** ![Jayn\_Newell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Jayn\_Newell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jayn_Newell)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/peeing-at-night/331558/26 "2005-11-18T12:33:48Z")
I usually turn the bathroom light on. As Podkayne put it, there’s some parts of the house you don’t want to be groping around. Now that I’m living in res it’s probably a better idea (not that I have to go in the middle of the night very often), because you never know when someone has left the toilet seat up. ---
**Author:** ![gouda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c77e96/32.png) [@gouda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gouda)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/peeing-at-night/331558/27 "2005-11-18T12:51:44Z")
> [@Kitchen Wench](#): > > Damn you, IBS! Damn you to HELL! I’m going to show this to my mom, who also has IBS. I truly sympathise with you… No lights for me. I’ll barely peek through one eye to find my way to and from the toilet. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/peeing-at-night/331558/28 "2005-11-18T13:44:21Z")
I don’t turn the light in my apartment. I sleep on a mat about 10 feet from the bathroom. I don’t even turn the bathroom light on at work. It’s not like anything has moved since I was last in there. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2005, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/peeing-at-night/331558/29 "2005-11-21T13:50:30Z")
> [@Hal Briston](#): > > I sleepily climb > Into our queen-sized cot > Only to find > The dog’s stolen my spot Finally get into bed But to get back to sleep After such an ordeal I have to count \* sheep\*. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/peeing-at-night/331558.md?page=1)