# Penguins and Christmas **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 19, 2007, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins-and-christmas/430566 "2007-12-19T13:36:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![kingpengvin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9dc877/32.png) [@kingpengvin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kingpengvin)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins-and-christmas/430566/21 "2007-12-19T17:45:22Z")
Well As far as I remember it all dates back to the days Chris Kringle was going to Sombertown to deliver to all the good boys and girls. He came across a lost Penguin named Topper. Well Groovey old Chris had to evade the man who wasn’t down on the whole toy thing. So the renagde and his old lady took his gang consisting of elves, a washed up Warlock, and the Penguin to the North pole. It seems the Man’s duristiction was world wide, except for the North Pole. That was one hell of a powerful Burgmeister! Anyway long story short, The Peguin made it with some drunk Puffins on a wild weekend bender and ended up with a flock of “Penguin” children, all mildly brain damaged and foul tasting to their natural enemy the Polar bear! True story. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins-and-christmas/430566/22 "2007-12-19T17:57:20Z")
[QUOTE=What Exit?] (No jokes about Fjords now) [/QUOTE] I drive a Pontiac. ---
**Author:** ![Trollhaugen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/43a26b/32.png) [@Trollhaugen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trollhaugen)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins-and-christmas/430566/23 "2007-12-19T18:09:46Z")
I like penguins. They waddle. If I want them as part of my mythological Christmas story, dammit I will have them and who are you to question me! Besides, maybe we all have it wrong about Santa, and he lives in the South Pole. This North Pole story is a ruse to keep us all off track when we go searching to destroy him and his evil empire of elves. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins-and-christmas/430566/24 "2007-12-19T18:23:19Z")
Several months ago I read that there were penguins in South America, Africa, and Australia. There were some as far north as the Galapagos. Now they’re at the North Pole? Wake up, people! They’re everywhere! Get a gun and lock your doors at night. Penguin Hell is about to break loose. ---
**Author:** ![susan\_foster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@susan\_foster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan_foster)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins-and-christmas/430566/25 "2007-12-19T18:24:31Z")
I got the most AWESOME white elephant/yankee swap gift today. It’s a cheerleader penguin that moves & sings Christmas carols. Now don’t you all wish you worked with me? Susan ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins-and-christmas/430566/26 "2007-12-19T18:27:19Z")
[QUOTE=Trollhaugen] I like penguins. They waddle. [/QUOTE] So do nuns. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins-and-christmas/430566/27 "2007-12-19T18:48:39Z")
[QUOTE=kingpengvin] …removed much humorous material … Anyway long story short, The Peguin made it with some drunk Puffins on a wild weekend bender and ended up with a flock of “Penguin” children, all mildly brain damaged and foul tasting to their natural enemy the Polar bear! [/QUOTE] My God, perhaps this finally explains Opus. [QUOTE=carnivorousplant] I drive a Pontiac. [/QUOTE] Hey, we’ve all got problems. 😉 [QUOTE=tdn] Several months ago I read that there were penguins in South America, Africa, and Australia. There were some as far north as the Galapagos. Now they’re at the North Pole? Wake up, people! They’re everywhere! Get a gun and lock your doors at night. Penguin Hell is about to break loose. [/QUOTE] Well, I’ve already made the Python jokes, I might as well add the obligatory Simpsons joke. I for one, Welcome our new Penguin Overlords! (To the beat of Deathtoungue performing Led Zeppelin’s Immigrant Song) Jim ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins-and-christmas/430566/28 "2007-12-19T18:51:42Z")
[QUOTE=Chefguy] So do nuns. [/QUOTE] So do elephants, but they don’t come in Black and White. ---
**Author:** ![Trollhaugen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/43a26b/32.png) [@Trollhaugen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trollhaugen)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins-and-christmas/430566/29 "2007-12-19T18:58:16Z")
[QUOTE=Chefguy] So do nuns. [/QUOTE] I thought nuns waggle or wiggle. Either way, when I have a hard time finding waddling penguins, I go for the nuns. As for the Elephants…too big for my taste. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins-and-christmas/430566/30 "2007-12-19T19:09:14Z")
[QUOTE=carnivorousplant] So do elephants, but they don’t come in Black and White. [/QUOTE] True. They come in quarts. ---
**Author:** ![Rayne\_Man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/df705f/32.png) [@Rayne\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rayne_Man)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins-and-christmas/430566/31 "2007-12-19T19:11:03Z")
The BBC are using penguins as part of their [Christmas Ident](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22BSf3nKKFY) this year. Don’t ask me how they did that ! ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins-and-christmas/430566/32 "2007-12-19T20:28:04Z")
It’s all an unfortunate misunderstanding, alas. Careful scrutiny reveals that the birds in the company of Santa and his elves are not, in fact, penguins at all. They are instead the penguin’s late arctic counterpart, the Great Auk. Sadly the Great Auk has been extinct since the early 19th century, yet another victim of mankind’s ruthless exploitation of nature. The last mated pair of Great Auks ever seen were beaten to death by sailors intent on stealing their egg, which was by then a valuable collector’s item. The Great Auk is now gone forever, joined with Nicholas of Myra in death; both immortalized in the strange tapestry of holiday mythology that combines human greed, generosity, and longing for material and spiritual fulfillment magically free from sacrifice or cost. Santa; his elves; the gentle Auks. When you see them, pause a moment to reflect on what the season means to you, and whether you have given more than you have taken during your brief time on Earth. ---
**Author:** ![Kuboydal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecb155/32.png) [@Kuboydal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kuboydal)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins-and-christmas/430566/33 "2007-12-19T20:29:32Z")
[QUOTE=tdn] True. They come in quarts. [/QUOTE] You earned yourself some pancakes for that one. Too bad I’m out of maple syrup. ---
**Author:** ![Yumblie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/76d3ee/32.png) [@Yumblie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yumblie)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2007, 8:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins-and-christmas/430566/34 "2007-12-20T08:49:08Z")
[QUOTE=carnivorousplant] How can they be their natural enemy if they’ve not seen each other? Are you agreeing with me, or what? [/QUOTE] Why do you think they’re on opposite poles? This feud’s been going on for a long time. The great battle for the equatorial no-man’s land is coming, and it’s going to be brutal. Just imagine…like…the final battle in the Lord of the Rings, but with polar bears and penguins. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins-and-christmas/430566.md?page=1)