# Penguins die in crash, octopus uninjured **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 9, 2006, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins-die-in-crash-octopus-uninjured/367968 "2006-08-09T04:38:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2006, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins-die-in-crash-octopus-uninjured/367968/1 "2006-08-09T04:38:19Z")
That is the [cnn.com](http://cnn.com) headline link for [this stirring drama of life and death on a Texas highway.](http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/08/08/texas.penguins.reut/index.html) > [@](#): > > The trooper said it was the oddest traffic accident he had ever handled. Could have been worse, though; could have been snakes in a lane: > [@](#): > > Buchanan said he was glad the accident was not worse. > > “There was another truck full of snakes and alligators that was an hour ahead of them, so luckily we didn’t have to deal with the alligators,” Buchanan said. No word on whether the octopus was driving. ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2006, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins-die-in-crash-octopus-uninjured/367968/2 "2006-08-09T04:44:38Z")
I guess the octopus had a seatbelt fastened. Was one of the penguins driving? ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2006, 7:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins-die-in-crash-octopus-uninjured/367968/3 "2006-08-09T07:31:52Z")
> [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#): > > Could have been worse, though; could have been snakes in a lane: Booooo. > [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#): > > No word on whether the octopus was driving. Actually, an octopus would be a great driver. He could operate the brake, gas, clutch, steering wheel, radio, cell phone, and mirror all at the same time! ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2006, 7:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins-die-in-crash-octopus-uninjured/367968/4 "2006-08-09T07:48:33Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > Actually, an octopus would be a great driver. He could operate the brake, gas, clutch, steering wheel, radio, cell phone, and mirror all at the same time! But could he get his eyes up high enough to see out the windshield? :dubious: Or maybe a penguin was spotting for him. Yeh, that must be it, a seeing eye penguin. ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2006, 8:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins-die-in-crash-octopus-uninjured/367968/5 "2006-08-09T08:02:41Z")
The penguins are psychotic. Obviously, it was a penguin-planned escape. The octopus was conned into it. ---
**Author:** ![Chez\_Guevara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/aeb1de/32.png) [@Chez\_Guevara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chez_Guevara)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2006, 10:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins-die-in-crash-octopus-uninjured/367968/6 "2006-08-09T10:30:46Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > Actually, an octopus would be a great driver. He could operate the brake, gas, clutch, steering wheel, radio, cell phone, and mirror all at the same time! The octopus was female. They always drive with one arm on the steering wheel. They use the other 7 to do their hair, apply makeup and eyeshadow, trim eyebrows, put both contact lenses in (at the same time) and give the finger to passing motorists. Hence the accident. ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2006, 10:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins-die-in-crash-octopus-uninjured/367968/7 "2006-08-09T10:35:07Z")
> [@Chez Guevara](#): > > They use the other 7 to \ and give the finger to passing motorists. > > Hence the accident. The sucker, maybe. The tentacle, certainly. The finger? Never. How could you ever tell? ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2006, 10:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins-die-in-crash-octopus-uninjured/367968/8 "2006-08-09T10:40:57Z")
> [@picunurse](#): > > I guess the octopus had a seatbelt fastened. Naah, he just sort of let himself go floppy, reducing the trauma of the impact. The penguins’ claim that the exotic fish ‘died’ in the accident is highly suspicious, IMO. ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2006, 10:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins-die-in-crash-octopus-uninjured/367968/9 "2006-08-09T10:46:36Z")
“Best Thread Title Ever” Debate Finally Resolved To Satisfaction Of All, local newspaper reports. ---
**Author:** ![fisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/da6949/32.png) [@fisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fisha)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2006, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins-die-in-crash-octopus-uninjured/367968/10 "2006-08-09T12:00:46Z")
Honey, I’m sorry I’m late, I swear I wasn’t golfing, I ran over a penguin…Honey? Honey? ---
**Author:** ![Pixisis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@Pixisis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixisis)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2006, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins-die-in-crash-octopus-uninjured/367968/11 "2006-08-09T12:31:27Z")
> [@Antigen](#): > > The penguins are psychotic. you didn’t see anything … ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2006, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins-die-in-crash-octopus-uninjured/367968/12 "2006-08-09T12:46:10Z")
> [@](#): > > Four penguins… were killed in the accident, including three penguins that were hit by passing motorists A drunk walks into a bar and asks the bartender, ‘How tall is a penguin?’ The bartender tells him about three feet. ‘Thank god! I thought I ran over a nun!’ ---
**Author:** ![Ale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Ale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ale)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2006, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins-die-in-crash-octopus-uninjured/367968/13 "2006-08-09T12:47:14Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > Actually, an octopus would be a great driver. He could operate the brake, gas, clutch, steering wheel, radio, cell phone, and mirror all at the same time! Plus they´d have an excellent grip on the steering wheel. ---
**Author:** ![nd\_n8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/439d5e/32.png) [@nd\_n8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nd_n8)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2006, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins-die-in-crash-octopus-uninjured/367968/14 "2006-08-09T12:59:12Z")
Local reports say the penguin that was driving was distracted by a large, sweaty, mostly dead cat. The cat was quoted as saying “Akkkk Thbbtbt” As an Indianapolis native, I for one will miss our late penguin overlords. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Il\_Palazzo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Lord\_Il\_Palazzo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Il_Palazzo)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2006, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins-die-in-crash-octopus-uninjured/367968/15 "2006-08-09T13:09:11Z")
> [@Antigen](#): > > Obviously, it was a penguin-planned escape. The octopus was conned into it. What a sucker. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2006, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins-die-in-crash-octopus-uninjured/367968/16 "2006-08-09T13:29:15Z")
1. Not all the penguins died. Most of them huddled in the ditch…only the stupid/brave/adventurous ones ventured out onto the roadway and died. 2. If I hit a penguin I’d never drive again. 3. It was the penguins from Madagascar trying to escape. ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2006, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins-die-in-crash-octopus-uninjured/367968/17 "2006-08-09T13:31:40Z")
> [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#): > > No word on whether the octopus was driving. Who is driving? Octopus is driving! How can that be!? ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2006, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins-die-in-crash-octopus-uninjured/367968/18 "2006-08-09T13:32:31Z")
Guy walks into a bar, looking very shaken, orders a shot. Bartender says “Hey, buddy, you okay?” Guy replies, “Lemme ask you something. How tall is a penguin?” Bartender looks at him in confusion, but says “I think about three feet or so, why?” Guy says “Because I think I just ran over a nun, that’s why.” Thank you, thank you, I’ll be here all week. Be sure to tip your moderators. ---
**Author:** ![Squink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@Squink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squink)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2006, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins-die-in-crash-octopus-uninjured/367968/19 "2006-08-09T15:25:54Z")
> [@picunurse](#): > > I guess the octopus had a seatbelt fastened. Nah, it had something better, a permanent, transparent cushion of incompressible fluid. When will Detroit recognize the clear safety advantages of these liquid passive restraint devices and fill **all** passenger compartments with water? While snorkels coming through the roof might present a slight fashion deficit, surely most responsible drivers would opt for the added protection water provides. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2006, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins-die-in-crash-octopus-uninjured/367968/20 "2006-08-09T15:34:58Z")
But why stop at water? Why not offer drivers the liquid of their choice? Just think of the possibilities… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins-die-in-crash-octopus-uninjured/367968.md?page=2)