# Penguins
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins/304422
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [May 18, 2005, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins/304422 "2005-05-18T15:49:22Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)
#### Post date: [May 18, 2005, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins/304422/1 "2005-05-18T15:49:22Z")
So, I’ve decided that Penguins are always funny.
Some people like midgets, some like monkeys dressed like people. Others enjoy the occasional bout of flatulance, others will always chuckle at a shot to the groin. Rumor has it, some even prefer Bob Saget.
For me, however, it’s clear. Pengiuns will always be funny. The little tuxedo wearing bastards have such personality.
I think I first learned about this affinity back in the days of those Bud Ice commercials. That Sinatra loving vestiage of pure menacing evil.
Its grown more obvious over the yeas, watching the little critters at the zoo. Seeing them on National Geographic, they are always _on_, comedically anyways. Much like Robin Williams with less fur.
They look kinda huggable too, doncha think?
The RedEye in Chicago (little daily tabloid paper ) had [an article](http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/chi-0504210196apr21,1,4214722.story?coll=chi-news-hed) about a homewrecker penguin that couldn’t stop humping the other steadfastly monogamous penguins. This was the highest of high comedy to me.
Last night I had the pleasure of watching the tasers for the upcoming movie Madagascar…I want to see it just for those penguins. Why is it the penguins always seem to be evil in movies and TV?
Sorry for the mundaneness of this MPSIMS, but damn it. I needed to get this off my chest.
Anyone else this Penguins are simply the funniest thing ever? I want a penguin…
[sub]Doobie doobie doo…[/sub]
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### Author:  [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)
#### Post date: [May 18, 2005, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins/304422/2 "2005-05-18T15:52:01Z")
Penguins are funny \*and \* cute. I love 'em.
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### Author:  [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)
#### Post date: [May 18, 2005, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins/304422/3 "2005-05-18T15:56:08Z")
Dirty penguins [LIVE on webcam](http://www.montrealcam.com/en-biodome.html)!!
I love them too. I think it’s because they look so smooth, standing there in tuxedos, with their beaks up in pride… and then they _waddle_ away!
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### Author:  [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)
#### Post date: [May 18, 2005, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins/304422/4 "2005-05-18T15:59:10Z")
I think they’re funniest when they do belly flops on the Antarctic ice.
Baby penguins are absolutely adorable.
My favorite penguin character ever is the evil penguin in the Wallace and Gromit short “The Wrong Trousers” who disguises himself as a rooster to commit his nefarious crimes.
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### Author:  [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)
#### Post date: [May 18, 2005, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins/304422/5 "2005-05-18T16:00:27Z")
A man drives to a gas station and has his tank filled up. The gas-pumper spots two penguins sitting in the back seat of the car.
He asks the driver, “What’s up with the penguins in the back seat?”
The man in the car says “I found them. I asked myself what to do with them but, I haven’t had a clue.”
The clerk ponders a bit then says, “You should take them to the zoo.”
“Hey, that’s a good idea,” says the man in the car and drives away.
The next day the man with the car is back at the same gas station. The clerk sees the penguins are still in the back seat of the car.
“Hey, they’re still here! I thought you were going to take them to the zoo.”
“Oh, I did,” says the driver, “And we had a swell time. Today I am taking them to the beach.”
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### Author:  [@Sierra\_Indigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sierra_Indigo)
#### Post date: [May 18, 2005, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins/304422/6 "2005-05-18T16:01:26Z")
Feathers McGraw is teh r0xx0r.
I love me some penguins. I have a collection of stuffed penguins. They’re my favourite bird in the whole world.
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### Author:  [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)
#### Post date: [May 18, 2005, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins/304422/7 "2005-05-18T16:03:38Z")
I love penguins. Especially faerie penguins. I have a Opus doll & a stuffed penguin which squawks when you squeeze him. I call him Humphrey. Plus a little penguin that sits on my monitor, with a scarf and hat.
Penguins are the best!
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### Author:  [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)
#### Post date: [May 18, 2005, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins/304422/8 "2005-05-18T16:05:39Z")
> [@Omniscient](#):
>
> [sub]Doobie doobie doo…[/sub]
What was that sound?
> [@Omniscient](#):
>
> [sub]Doobie doobie doo…[/sub]
Omigod!
> [@Omniscient](#):
>
> [sub]Doobie doobie doo…[/sub]
Everyone! Get the hell out! They are going to try and kill us all. Get out before it’s too late!
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### Author:  [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)
#### Post date: [May 18, 2005, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins/304422/9 "2005-05-18T16:06:37Z")
I need to find a really menacing penguin to keep on my desk at work…
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### Author:  [@askeptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/askeptic)
#### Post date: [May 18, 2005, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins/304422/10 "2005-05-18T16:16:48Z")
Yea they are funny untill one gives you clamydia. 😉
(couldn’t find the relevent thread but it was about penguins and seagulls)
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### Author:  [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)
#### Post date: [May 18, 2005, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins/304422/11 "2005-05-18T16:22:47Z")
> [@Omniscient](#):
>
> I need to find a really menacing penguin to keep on my desk at work…
[http://www.efdigital.com/efdigital/images/sml188015.jpg](http://www.efdigital.com/efdigital/images/sml188015.jpg)
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### Author:  [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)
#### Post date: [May 18, 2005, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins/304422/12 "2005-05-18T16:31:49Z")
I love penguins too. After cats, they are my favorite animals. And now you can actually buy a domesticated penguin for a pet!
[http://www.penguinwarehouse.com/index.php](http://www.penguinwarehouse.com/index.php)
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### Author:  [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)
#### Post date: [May 18, 2005, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins/304422/13 "2005-05-18T16:44:26Z")
For the first couple years that he was dating my mom, my brother and I didn’t know much about my stepdad except that he liked penguins and pigs. He got a lot of penguin- and pig-shaped gifts for a while.
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### Author:  [@Honey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honey)
#### Post date: [May 18, 2005, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins/304422/14 "2005-05-18T17:32:44Z")
> [@Big Bad Voodoo Lou](#):
>
> I love penguins too. After cats, they are my favorite animals. And now you can actually buy a domesticated penguin for a pet!
>
> [Penguin Warehouse](http://www.penguinwarehouse.com/index.php)
The picture of the guy with the penguin on a leash sent me into giggle fits. 😃
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### Author:  [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)
#### Post date: [May 18, 2005, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins/304422/15 "2005-05-18T18:20:47Z")
**Penguins Gone Wild!!!**
Great link.
I loves penguins, Moosies Gah, I loves moosies. and Elephants. Especially stories of elephants that go on a rampage in India. What’s not to love that Jumbo Pissed Off?
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### Author:  [@Kolak\_of\_Twilo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolak_of_Twilo)
#### Post date: [May 18, 2005, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins/304422/16 "2005-05-18T18:31:18Z")
One day this little penguin is out for a drive in his car.
After awhile he notices it starting to make a funny noise so he pulls into a garage.
The mechanic tells the penguin to come back in half an hour.
The little penguin waddles outside.
It’s a hot day and he sees an ice cream shop down the street.
So off he goes and gets an ice cream cone.
Half an hour later, the little penguin comes back.
The mechanic walks up to him and says “It looks like you blew a seal.”
The penguin, wiping his mouth, responds, “OH, that’s just ice cream.”
:: \*runs out of thread giggling \* ::
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### Author:  [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)
#### Post date: [May 18, 2005, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins/304422/17 "2005-05-18T18:34:32Z")
> [@Kolak of Twilo](#):
>
> :: \*runs out of thread giggling \* ::
Come back here and take your punishment like a man! ::Scott chases after him, waving a seal clubbing club above his head::
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### Author:  [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)
#### Post date: [May 18, 2005, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins/304422/18 "2005-05-18T18:41:16Z")
Two penguins are sitting at the bar, enjoying some frozen drinks. The bigger one says “I screwed your mother!” The smaller one just sits there and ignores him. The big one taps him on the shoulder with his flipper/wing. Again he says “I screwed your mother!”
The smaller penguin looks at him and says “Go home, Dad. You’re drunk.”
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### Author:  [@peedin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peedin)
#### Post date: [May 18, 2005, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins/304422/19 "2005-05-18T18:53:57Z")
I have a stuffed Opus too. With the shower cap and the towel that reads “Holliday Hotel.” And what about _Mr. Popper’s Penguins_? Did everyone read that as a kid? I must confess, I almost bought a copy of it a few weeks ago. And I’m 47. P.S. I love moosies the mostest. I have a stuffed moose named Jerome that talks.
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### Author:  [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)
#### Post date: [May 18, 2005, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penguins/304422/20 "2005-05-18T19:23:06Z")
> [@peedin](#):
>
> I have a stuffed Opus too. .
Mine has a bowtie and is “sitting” - that is, his legs are sort of folded underneath him. He’s really cute.
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