# Penis Enlargement **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [December 16, 2004, 10:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-enlargement/280122 "2004-12-16T10:39:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![df22002003](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c5a1d2/32.png) [@df22002003](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/df22002003)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2004, 10:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-enlargement/280122/1 "2004-12-16T10:39:07Z")
Do penis enlargement pills actually work and are they safe? ---
**Author:** ![matt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@matt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2004, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-enlargement/280122/2 "2004-12-16T12:17:38Z")
For a detailed experiment to assess the truth of this, try: [http://www.zug.com/classics.html](http://www.zug.com/classics.html) Fifth link down. ---
**Author:** ![oh\_s](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/b38774/32.png) [@oh\_s](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oh_s)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2004, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-enlargement/280122/3 "2004-12-16T12:19:34Z")
> [@df22002003](#): > > Do penis enlargement pills actually work and are they safe? ``` I dunno mate I have enough trouble folding in my pants already. your not stupid enough enough to believe that crap are you?????? ``` ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2004, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-enlargement/280122/4 "2004-12-16T12:28:55Z")
I would say that their efficacy can be dismissed purely on the methodology of the marketing that they employ; guilt by association - I **know** that ebay _doesn’t_ urgently want Dear Valued Customer to renew his credit card details, I **know** that I _cannot_ become fantastically rich by sending a fiver to the guy at the top of the list, I **know** that HOTTT teeen lezbians _aren’t_ gagging 4 my harrd dickkk right NOW. I can therefore **infer** , with a fair degree of confidence, that penis enlargment pills are going to be a pathetic scam or a flop (pun intended). ---
**Author:** ![Ichbin\_Dubist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/51bf81/32.png) [@Ichbin\_Dubist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ichbin_Dubist)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2004, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-enlargement/280122/5 "2004-12-16T13:55:33Z")
If someone was selling an herbal pill that claimed to make your fingers each an inch longer, no one would believe them. The answer to your question is no, and here’s a cite from the [Mayo Clinic](http://www.mayoclinic.com/invoke.cfm?id=MC00026): "Therapies, methods and procedures purporting to provide you with an enlarged penis are many, but know this: No scientific evidence supports the use of pills, pumps, weights or exercises to enhance the length or girth of a penis. And the Food and Drug Administration, the government agency that regulates medications and medical devices, hasn’t approved any devices for enlarging, augmenting or enhancing the penis. That leaves cosmetic surgery to enlarge the penis, which is controversial and its outcome uncertain. Some men who have had such surgery have been pleased with the results, whereas others have sued their doctors." ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2004, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-enlargement/280122/6 "2004-12-16T14:25:06Z")
What the hell are you talking about? My penis used to be just under 6 inches long. Now it’s 7 inches… soft! I love walking up to strangers and telling them that my dick is as long as their arm. Now I get to enjoy the fact that I can’t ever have sex unless I just want to put the head in or risk damaging Special Bits™. Oral sex is out of the question, unless they’re a good harmonica player. And I owe it all to PenisBig™!\* Of course it works. \*product may or may not even exist ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2004, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-enlargement/280122/7 "2004-12-16T14:30:59Z")
Chaotic donkey makes a good point. This is probably one of those products that is better off not working. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2004, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-enlargement/280122/8 "2004-12-16T15:12:14Z")
I always figured the 3 inches gained was true, but that the message was just unclear. By changing a flacid penis into an erect one, 3 inches are easily gained. My little urethra sheath, for instance, goes from a 2 inch tadger to nearly half a foot long without the aid of medication. Presto! 4 additional inches of manhood to do my bride’s bidding. What am I missing? ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2004, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-enlargement/280122/9 "2004-12-16T15:49:59Z")
The pills might work if you stick a dozen of them up your urethra, there would definately then be an increase in volume proportional to the pain. **chaoticdonkey** was it you who broke into the Elephant enclosure at San Francisco zoo? ---
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2004, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-enlargement/280122/10 "2004-12-16T18:08:49Z")
> [@Inigo Montoya](#): > > I always figured the 3 inches gained was true, but that the message was just unclear. By changing a flacid penis into an erect one, 3 inches are easily gained. My little urethra sheath, for instance, goes from a 2 inch tadger to nearly half a foot long without the aid of medication. Presto! 4 additional inches of manhood to do my bride’s bidding. > > What am I missing? :eek: :: did not need to know the length of your ‘tadger’ :: ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2004, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-enlargement/280122/11 "2004-12-16T18:15:51Z")
If you attatch the the pills to the end of your man root with crazy glue\*, it gets longer. \*[sub]This statement had not been varified by the FDA/FAA/FCC. For novelty value only. Don’t try this at home as you’ll contract laprosy and/or gangrene.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2004, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-enlargement/280122/12 "2004-12-16T18:48:47Z")
FTR, I tried to stir my fellow dopers to action with a massive (psuedo?) scientific study about the claims of Enzyte. Nobody was interested. ---
**Author:** ![ouryL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ouryl/32/6067_2.png) [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2004, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-enlargement/280122/13 "2004-12-16T20:29:12Z")
You can embiggen a penis by rubbing it. Oh, you’re talking 'bout using pills? I still think rubbing is the best way if you want to do it yourself! ``` :D ``` ---
**Author:** ![LorieSmurf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a587f6/32.png) [@LorieSmurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LorieSmurf)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 10:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-enlargement/280122/14 "2004-12-17T10:12:40Z")
Well, the dude who took the MagnaRX in the link provided thinks they work. But that’s just one guy. ---
**Author:** ![duffer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duffer/32/1026_2.png) [@duffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duffer)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-enlargement/280122/15 "2004-12-17T11:00:07Z")
> [@Bippy the Beardless](#): > > The pills might work if you stick a dozen of them up your urethra, there would definately then be an increase in volume proportional to the pain. > **chaoticdonkey** was it you who broke into the Elephant enclosure at San Francisco zoo? You can only get 12 up there? Bah, we had 12 inserted before even hitting the end of the block. While walking uphill barefoot to school! You young pups. You don’t know the meaning of sacrifice! :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-enlargement/280122/16 "2004-12-17T16:36:00Z")
> [@Inigo Montoya](#): > > I always figured the 3 inches gained was true, but that the message was just unclear. By changing a flacid penis into an erect one, 3 inches are easily gained. My little urethra sheath, for instance, goes from a 2 inch tadger to nearly half a foot long without the aid of medication. Presto! 4 additional inches of manhood to do my bride’s bidding. > > What am I missing? Where’s that TMI warning? ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-enlargement/280122/17 "2004-12-17T16:37:18Z")
> [@duffer](#): > > You can only get 12 up there? Bah, we had 12 inserted before even hitting the end of the block. While walking uphill barefoot to school! You young pups. You don’t know the meaning of sacrifice! :dubious: Oh, god. _snort_ And I just bet you liked it that way, too. ---
**Author:** ![SavageNarce](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@SavageNarce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SavageNarce)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-enlargement/280122/18 "2004-12-17T16:37:42Z")
Just for the fun of it, a friend once followed up on the “enlarge your penis” offer. What he got back was a “brochure” of a few young (and several not-so-young) ladies in various stages of undress and performing an assortment of acts of a sexual nature on each other / boyfriends/ strangers / a petting zoo. The idea is that you look at the brochure, you get aroused, and - sure enough - **your penis size increases**! It’s a miracle! :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![duffer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duffer/32/1026_2.png) [@duffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duffer)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-enlargement/280122/19 "2004-12-17T17:18:21Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Oh, god. _snort_ And I just bet you liked it that way, too. No we did not, young lass! It was quite uncomfortable. But we _sacrificed_ for the greater good, dammit! Barefoot, uphill and all that good stuff. There are reasons you should respect your elders. Look at the crap we did in the name of research for the young’uns! Now if anyone could tell me why it hurts when I pee… :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-enlargement/280122/20 "2004-12-17T19:57:17Z")
> [@duffer](#): > > No we did not, young lass! It was quite uncomfortable. But we _sacrificed_ for the greater good, dammit! Barefoot, uphill and all that good stuff. There are reasons you should respect your elders. Look at the crap we did in the name of research for the young’uns! > > Now if anyone could tell me why it hurts when I pee… :dubious: Stop it, _stop it_! I’m supposed to be working, not suppressing chortles of laughter. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-enlargement/280122.md?page=2)