# Penis pumping (yes, serious question) **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [February 10, 2013, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-pumping-yes-serious-question/649841 "2013-02-10T02:21:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2013, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-pumping-yes-serious-question/649841/1 "2013-02-10T02:21:15Z")
For those who don’t know, the use of vacuum pumps to engorge body parts (typically genitalia), results temporary but impressive while they last. An image search with Safesearch off will reveal way TMI. I stumbled upon this and what astonishes me is the increase in length some of these guys have achieved. I’ve seen pictures of guys who are literally twenty inches long pumped. My serious question is, what the hell does this do to the delicate plumbing? Have these guys turned their penises into non-functional flesh hoses just for the sake of pursuing a fetish? ETA: does anyone know if they’re actually functional in this condition or are they more or less sponges? ---
**Author:** ![Butcher\_Cook](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a5b964/32.png) [@Butcher\_Cook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Butcher_Cook)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2013, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-pumping-yes-serious-question/649841/2 "2013-02-10T02:24:35Z")
Fetish? I’ve never heard that before. I thought those things were for guys who could no longer achieve an erection under normal circumstances. I would do a google search for “penis-pump fetish” but I am busy researching the mating habits of the capybara right now. ---
**Author:** ![Washoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ecae2f/32.png) [@Washoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Washoe)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2013, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-pumping-yes-serious-question/649841/3 "2013-02-10T02:49:07Z")
My 83-year-old FIL is a widower who is committed to getting as much senior citizen nookie as he possibly can before he shuffles off his mortal coil. He’s juggling two girlfriends right now, and is pulling all sorts of I Love Lucy antics to keep each one from finding out about the other. My wife found the pump under his bed a few months ago. Is he gonna hurt himself with that thing? ---
**Author:** ![moriah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b2d939/32.png) [@moriah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moriah)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2013, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-pumping-yes-serious-question/649841/4 "2013-02-10T03:38:35Z")
If done mild, slow, and steady there can be some stretching of the skin and soft tissue. But who does that? Users go full throttle and wind up busting capillaries and tearing apart the soft tissue creating a fat mess. And if you’ve seen a 20 inch long result, I assure you, it’s fake in order to sell the pump since they really don’t work in the way the user would want. It’s like a genie’s wish. ---
**Author:** ![PaulParkhead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@PaulParkhead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PaulParkhead)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2013, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-pumping-yes-serious-question/649841/5 "2013-02-10T03:44:41Z")
Well, I mean, it’s not an issue I’m ever likely to face, but what would one do with a 20 inch penis? Is it something most women would appreciate? ---
**Author:** ![Washoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ecae2f/32.png) [@Washoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Washoe)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2013, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-pumping-yes-serious-question/649841/6 "2013-02-10T04:14:29Z")
Wouldn’t be much use for anything, really. I would just polish it up once in a while with Mahogany Pledge to keep it looking spiffy, and show it off at parties. ---
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2013, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-pumping-yes-serious-question/649841/7 "2013-02-10T04:32:42Z")
> [@PaulParkhead](#): > > what would one do with a 20 inch penis? Remake the “giver” part of the goatse image? ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2013, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-pumping-yes-serious-question/649841/8 "2013-02-10T04:36:07Z")
> [@PaulParkhead](#): > > Well, I mean, it’s not an issue I’m ever likely to face, but what would one do with a 20 inch penis? Is it something most women would appreciate? Ask him if he knows “Misty”. Oh, wait. I thought you said “pianist”. Never mind. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2013, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-pumping-yes-serious-question/649841/9 "2013-02-10T06:42:30Z")
> [@Lumpy](#): > > I stumbled upon this . . . If you stumbled upon it, I’d say it’s too long. ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2013, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-pumping-yes-serious-question/649841/10 "2013-02-10T14:43:52Z")
Interesting OP name / topic combo. Yes, excessive pumping can harm function. It may be visually impressive to some people, but functionally, not so much, as the internal erectile tissues get damaged to the point the penis is no longer self-supporting, so to speak. To keep the blood in the penis, the guy needs to tie a tight cord at the base to have any hopes of keeling it firm. AIUI, to get any significant increase in length, an internal ligament needs to be cut, which, as you may imagine, only further impairs function. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2013, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-pumping-yes-serious-question/649841/11 "2013-02-10T15:32:07Z")
> [@PaulParkhead](#): > > Well, I mean, it’s not an issue I’m ever likely to face, but what would one do with a 20 inch penis? Is it something most women would appreciate? I can humbly assure you they like it just fine. ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2013, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-pumping-yes-serious-question/649841/12 "2013-02-10T16:59:42Z")
[returning Austin’s personal property after reanimating him] **Quartermaster Clerk** : One Swedish-made penis enlarger. **Austin Powers** : [to Vanessa] That’s not mine. **Quartermaster Clerk** : One credit card receipt for Swedish-made penis enlarger signed by Austin Powers. **Austin Powers** : I’m telling ya baby, that’s not mine. **Quartermaster Clerk** : One warranty card for Swedish-made penis enlarger pump, filled out by Austin Powers. **Austin Powers** : I don’t even know what this is! This sort of thing ain’t my bag, baby. **Quartermaster Clerk** : One book, “Swedish-made Penis Enlargers And Me: This Sort of Thing Is My Bag Baby”, by Austin Powers. ---
**Author:** ![InsaneMcCrazy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@InsaneMcCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InsaneMcCrazy)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2013, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-pumping-yes-serious-question/649841/13 "2013-05-09T06:23:26Z")
Dude I have seen exactly what you are talking about. Some guys pump their penis into this gross looking ball of tumor esque grossness. It is a fetish, and a lot of guys get off on it. I dont really understand it myself, but I have seen the horrors you speak of! ---
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2013, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-pumping-yes-serious-question/649841/14 "2013-05-09T07:36:05Z")
Are these the same pumps advertized on late night tv? They claom they are covered by insurance so musnt they have to work? ---
**Author:** ![JBDivmstr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b4bc9f/32.png) [@JBDivmstr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JBDivmstr)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2013, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-pumping-yes-serious-question/649841/15 "2013-05-09T07:43:30Z")
> [@madsircool](#): > > Are these the same pumps advertized on late night tv? They claom they are covered by insurance so musnt they have to work? I think that, yes, they do work. But can be used incorrectly, and consequently, induce undesired results. YMMV 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2013, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-pumping-yes-serious-question/649841/16 "2013-05-09T12:00:23Z")
> [@PaulParkhead](#): > > Well, I mean, it’s not an issue I’m ever likely to face, but what would one do with a 20 inch penis? Is it something most women would appreciate? It would be something to admire from afar, or perhaps to put on a tastefully spot-lit plinth in the corner of a living room as a conversation piece, but as far as its utility in pleasuring a woman? Not so much. > [@JBDivmstr](#): > > I think that, yes, they do work. But can be used incorrectly, and consequently, induce undesired results. YMMV 😉 Or used incorrectly to achieve desired but not recommended results. ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2013, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-pumping-yes-serious-question/649841/17 "2013-05-09T12:07:37Z")
> [@PaulParkhead](#): > > Well, I mean, it’s not an issue I’m ever likely to face, but what would one do with a 20 inch penis? Is it something most women would appreciate? no :eek: The thought makes me cringe and cry a little ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2013, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-pumping-yes-serious-question/649841/18 "2013-05-09T12:18:12Z")
> [@Washoe](#): > > My 83-year-old FIL is a widower who is committed to getting as much senior citizen nookie as he possibly can before he shuffles off his mortal coil. He’s juggling two girlfriends right now, and is pulling all sorts of I Love Lucy antics to keep each one from finding out about the other. My wife found the pump under his bed a few months ago. Is he gonna hurt himself with that thing? He is my hero! ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2013, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-pumping-yes-serious-question/649841/19 "2013-05-09T14:49:19Z")
> [@madsircool](#): > > Are these the same pumps advertized on late night tv? They claom they are covered by insurance so musnt they have to work? Well, if they claom it works then certainly it munst. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2013, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-pumping-yes-serious-question/649841/20 "2013-05-09T15:09:54Z")
> [@moriah](#): > > And if you’ve seen a 20 inch long result, I assure you, it’s fake in order to sell the pump since they really don’t work in the way the user would want. It’s like a genie’s wish. You tell me ( **Not even remotely** SFW): [noparse][http://korzik.net/uploads/posts/2012-05/1337523423\_penis-before-and-after-pumping-01.jpg[/noparse]](http://korzik.net/uploads/posts/2012-05/1337523423_penis-before-and-after-pumping-01.jpg%5B/noparse%5D) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-pumping-yes-serious-question/649841.md?page=2)