# Penis pumping (yes, serious question) **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [February 10, 2013, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-pumping-yes-serious-question/649841 "2013-02-10T02:21:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2013, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-pumping-yes-serious-question/649841/21 "2013-05-09T15:15:41Z")
They do work for temporary situations, as shown by that active old man upthread, and are often recommended by physicians. Anything can be used for a fetish. By definition. ---
**Author:** ![JBDivmstr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b4bc9f/32.png) [@JBDivmstr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JBDivmstr)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2013, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-pumping-yes-serious-question/649841/22 "2013-05-09T15:51:43Z")
> [@Lumpy](#): > > You tell me ( **Not even remotely** SFW): > [noparse][http://korzik.net/uploads/posts/2012-05/1337523423\_penis-before-and-after-pumping-01.jpg[/noparse]](http://korzik.net/uploads/posts/2012-05/1337523423_penis-before-and-after-pumping-01.jpg%5B/noparse%5D) Well, since you put it _ **that** _ way, you ought to at least provide us a link, that works! :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![CookingWithGas](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cookingwithgas/32/485_2.png) [@CookingWithGas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CookingWithGas)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2013, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-pumping-yes-serious-question/649841/23 "2013-05-09T17:04:49Z")
> [@JBDivmstr](#): > > Well, since you put it _ **that** _ way, you ought to at least provide us a link, that works! :dubious: Worked for me. Wish it hadn’t. Actually, that thing looks like a toilet paper dispenser to me. I see no mechanism that could be possibly be a pump. I can’t prove that the photo is faked but it is wildly improbable. Easier to fake, either by setup or by Photoshop, than to do this for real. That looks bigger than John “See That Lump In My Sock” Falcon, World’s Biggest Penis, who is 13.5". ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2013, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-pumping-yes-serious-question/649841/24 "2013-05-09T18:14:20Z")
I can’t even believe I’m adding a comment to this thread; but here it is. Is there anyone on this board who will admit to using personally using one? I think that would be a great “ask the…” topic. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2013, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-pumping-yes-serious-question/649841/25 "2013-05-09T18:22:30Z")
Make for a good Hans & Franz skit too. ---
**Author:** ![moriah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b2d939/32.png) [@moriah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moriah)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-pumping-yes-serious-question/649841/26 "2013-05-10T00:08:27Z")
> [@Lumpy](#): > > You tell me ( **Not even remotely** SFW): > [noparse][http://korzik.net/uploads/posts/2012-05/1337523423\_penis-before-and-after-pumping-01.jpg[/noparse]](http://korzik.net/uploads/posts/2012-05/1337523423_penis-before-and-after-pumping-01.jpg%5B/noparse%5D) If by the tiniest chance that guy’s penis is that long and fat, it wasn’t the pump’s doing. More than likely, the pump is the only thing that can help him achieve an erection. Also, fake. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-pumping-yes-serious-question/649841/27 "2013-05-10T03:40:55Z")
> [@JBDivmstr](#): > > Well, since you put it _ **that** _ way, you ought to at least provide us a link, that works! :dubious: It was just too big for the Internet. ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-pumping-yes-serious-question/649841/28 "2013-05-10T03:49:43Z")
So there’s no evidence any of this is real? I admit to morbid curiosity. And as for capillary damage…is that also real? I might remind folks we ARE in GQ… 😃 Inquisitive minds (not heads!) want to know (seriously!). Any evidence of anything…at all? ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-pumping-yes-serious-question/649841/29 "2013-05-10T04:00:56Z")
I’m afraid the hard truth is nothing short of plastic surgery will do much to enhance penis size. And beware, because there have been a series of incidents in the Thai news of men having such procedures done at dodgy clinics, with horrifying results. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-pumping-yes-serious-question/649841/30 "2013-05-10T05:53:51Z")
> [@Enright3](#): > > Is there anyone on this board who will admit to using personally using one? I think that would be a great “ask the…” topic. I’ve known several people who’ve used them, and yes they work, but the result is temporary. In fact, I have a prescription for a Pos-T-Vac from my endocrinologist, but don’t know whether I’ll ever have it filled (no pun intended). If I do, you’ll be the [del]first[/del] second to know. And yes, my supplemental Medicare insurance will cover most of the cost. ---
**Author:** ![chorpler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chorpler/32/2888_2.png) [@chorpler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chorpler)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-pumping-yes-serious-question/649841/31 "2013-05-10T08:13:46Z")
> [@CookingWithGas](#): > > Worked for me. Wish it hadn’t. > > Actually, that thing looks like a toilet paper dispenser to me. I see no mechanism that could be possibly be a pump. I can’t prove that the photo is faked but it is wildly improbable. Easier to fake, either by setup or by Photoshop, than to do this for real. That looks bigger than John “See That Lump In My Sock” Falcon, World’s Biggest Penis, who is 13.5". I believe the guy’s name is Jonah, not John. [Yeah, there he is.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonah_Falcon) ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 10:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-pumping-yes-serious-question/649841/32 "2013-05-10T10:18:50Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > I’m afraid the hard truth is nothing short of plastic surgery will do much to enhance penis size. And beware, because there have been a series of incidents in the Thai news of men having such procedures done at dodgy clinics, with horrifying results. Not to mention the [infamous bagel-dog penis](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=273825) account here… ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-pumping-yes-serious-question/649841/33 "2013-05-10T13:24:15Z")
> [@Lumpy](#): > > For those who don’t know, the use of vacuum pumps to engorge body parts (typically genitalia), results temporary but impressive while they last. Sounds like a **coelacanth** , yeah it’s great to see one they’ve pulled up to the surface but it’s gonna die shortly after getting there. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-pumping-yes-serious-question/649841/34 "2013-05-10T13:48:57Z")
Well, TMI but at my age, who cares. Mine was recommended by a urologist and yes, it worked. Once the penis was pumped up, the use of a “cock ring” for lack of a better word was necessary. The time required to pump and the dexterity required to put the ring in place was often a really mood killer. Mutual oral gratification was out and away much better than the damn pump. ETA: The pump generated “erection” lasted long enough for the MOG. ---
**Author:** ![InsaneMcCrazy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@InsaneMcCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InsaneMcCrazy)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2013, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-pumping-yes-serious-question/649841/35 "2013-06-05T00:50:22Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > Not to mention the [infamous bagel-dog](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=273825)[penis account here…](http://www.averagepenissize.com/pumps/) Hahahahah what in the hell is that about?! I wanted to see the picture there too but I couldn’t see it, dead link. So he put an object in his penis to make it bigger, did I read that properly? ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2013, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-pumping-yes-serious-question/649841/36 "2013-06-05T01:07:59Z")
> [@InsaneMcCrazy](#): > > Hahahahah what in the hell is that about?! I wanted to see the picture there too but I couldn’t see it, dead link. So he put an object in his penis to make it bigger, did I read that properly? Do an image search for “bagel dog”. A big lumpy puffy cylinder with a meaty end sticking out. ---
**Author:** ![chorpler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chorpler/32/2888_2.png) [@chorpler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chorpler)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2013, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-pumping-yes-serious-question/649841/37 "2013-06-05T03:07:08Z")
Essentially, the guy in question had unlicensed plastic surgery in exchange for drugs, and his penis ended up looking like a bagel dog, which looked horrifying and also hurt every time it became erect. I often wonder what happened to that fellow – did he ever get out of prison and get his affliction remedied? Alas, we may never know. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2013, 9:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-pumping-yes-serious-question/649841/38 "2013-06-05T09:36:20Z")
> [@Enright3](#): > > I can’t even believe I’m adding a comment to this thread; but here it is. > > Is there anyone on this board who will admit to using personally using one? I think that would be a great “ask the…” topic. Yes, I used one that was paid for by my insurance because it was obtained by prescription. As someone upstream noted, the erection that resulted had to be maintained by a cock ring. Even with that ring, there as a very loose connection at the root of the penis that adversely affected insertion. I was very disappointed, as was my partner. Allowed myself to be talked into resorting to a prosthesis; I.E. a pump. Erections achieved with the pump were satisfactory but the surgery required to install the damn thing resulted in a loss of sensitivity. Plus, if I had had any idea of the recovery from that surgery I would never have had it done. Think massive bruising and swelling resulting in pain medication and ice packs. I am subject to migraine headaches and the pain resulting from the surgery was the only pain I’ve ever felt that could be compared to the pain of a migraine. Taken all around, I think I would prefer the migraine to the penis pump. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2013, 9:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-pumping-yes-serious-question/649841/39 "2013-06-05T09:42:29Z")
I posted twice in this thread----what I get for not reading the entire thing. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2013, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-pumping-yes-serious-question/649841/40 "2013-06-05T12:32:35Z")
The real danger of a penis pump is the damage it will inflict upon ones judicial career. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-pumping-yes-serious-question/649841.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-pumping-yes-serious-question/649841.md?page=3)