# Penis size?  PENIS SIZE?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-size-penis-size/182701>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [June 18, 2003, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-size-penis-size/182701 "2003-06-18T14:13:10Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\
**Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-size-penis-size/182701/21 "2003-06-18T17:24:37Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by macabresoul \*  
> \*\*Well if you drive SUV’s because of your small penis, then the opposite must be true.
> 
> So my little ford focus with no bumper and a broken taillight is just a reflection of my HUGE PENIS!\*\*

Pfft. A mere Vienna sausage. :rolleyes:

I have no car at all.

Calm down, ladies. There’s more than enough of me to go around. One at a time, please. Better yet, two at a time.

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**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\
**Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-size-penis-size/182701/22 "2003-06-18T17:34:26Z")

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**tdn** - _I_ have no car either.

I was wondering why my pants were fitting so funny…

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**Author:** ![ENugent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/4af34b/32.png) [@ENugent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ENugent)\
**Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-size-penis-size/182701/23 "2003-06-18T17:44:30Z")

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[daVinci’s Notebook]  
I take a look at my enormous [PE-E-E-NIS](http://www.davincisnotebook.com/sounds.htm#epsound), and my troubles start meltin’ away…  
[/daVinci’s Notebook]

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**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\
**Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-size-penis-size/182701/24 "2003-06-18T19:08:08Z")

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Well, I don’t own an SUV but I do have a REALLY BIG Dodge Van. A HUGE Dodge Van that gets very poor gas mileage. My penis, alas, is miniscule\*, so I guess the small penis/large automotive conveyance theory holds.

\*By Texas standards, that is. In other parts of the country, people are in awe of my mighty Dodge Van and the penis that powers it.

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**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\
**Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-size-penis-size/182701/25 "2003-06-18T19:20:17Z")

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Personally, I think we all need to back way off on this “insult through implication” concept. If I say “People who own those little yappy poodles are weenies”, and Joe Doper\* responds with “I happen to own a poodle; them’s fightin’ words”, he’s really overreacting a bit. I see a distinct difference between saying “Joe Doper is a weenie”, and “Poodle owners are weenies”.

\*Apologies if that’s anyone’s real user name - it’s supposed to be fictitious.

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**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\
**Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-size-penis-size/182701/26 "2003-06-18T19:27:43Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by blowero \*  
> \*_Personally, I think we all need to back way off on this “insult through implication” concept. If I say “People who own those little yappy poodles are weenies”, and Joe Doper_ responds with “I happen to own a poodle; them’s fightin’ words”, he’s really overreacting a bit. I see a distinct difference between saying “Joe Doper is a weenie”, and “Poodle owners are weenies”.
> 
> \*\*

I see a difference two. One’s might be a result of knowing Joe Doper and discovering that Joe Doper is indeed a weenie. The other is just prejudice.

Julie

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**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\
**Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-size-penis-size/182701/27 "2003-06-18T19:29:48Z")

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Ack. Too. Not two.

If I had a bigger penis, would I have caught that typo?

Julie

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**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\
**Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-size-penis-size/182701/28 "2003-06-18T19:40:47Z")

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Actually I know Joe Doper. He doesn’t own a poodle.  
He has a Weiner dog.

But its hung like a poodle.

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**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\
**Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-size-penis-size/182701/29 "2003-06-18T19:50:28Z")

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I think “prejudice” is a pretty strong word for an off-the-cuff remark. Maybe you could lighten up a little. Perhaps a joke might help:

A naive young man is in bed naked with a woman for the first time. He says, “I’ve never made love before - do you think we could?” She replies: “Sorry, I’m on my period”. Confused, the young man says, “What’s a period?” She says, “I’m _bleeding_ down there - take a look.” The young man peers beneath the sheets, pops his head up again and says “No wonder you’re bleeding - someone cut your penis off.”

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**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\
**Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-size-penis-size/182701/30 "2003-06-18T20:11:30Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by blowero \*  
> **I think “prejudice” is a pretty strong word for an off-the-cuff remark.**

When the remark shows up three times in a two page thread, it stops being (for me) “off-the-cuff” and starts being (again, for me) damned irritating.

I’ve seen that sort of remark thrown against all sorts of people. Over the years, I’ve seen it thrown into discussions about guns, about remote controls, about speeding, about hunting, about sports, about stockbrokers/investment bankers, and probably some other topics I’m forgetting.

Belittling (please pardon the pun) the opponent in a debate just makes you (the general you, not the specific you) look bereft of argument. There are occasions when it reveals something worse than that, and while I don’t necessarily think this is one, I still find the habit annoying as hell.

As for your joke? God help me, I laughed. 😃

Julie

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**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\
**Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-size-penis-size/182701/31 "2003-06-18T20:33:53Z")

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Didn’t I read here that a clitoris is really a small penis… or if you’re a woman that a penis is really just a large clitoris?

Heck, I LOVE people with small penises! Small penises for everyone, I’m buying!

But ummm… make mine a double.

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**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\
**Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-size-penis-size/182701/32 "2003-06-18T20:43:45Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by lieu \*  
> Didn’t I read here that a clitoris is really a small penis… or if you’re a woman that a penis is really just a large clitoris?

Yeah, but one’s an innie, the other’s an outie.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\
**Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-size-penis-size/182701/33 "2003-06-18T20:46:37Z")

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That’d be good on a woman’s T-shirt…

_My penis is an innie._

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**Author:** ![Waverly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@Waverly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waverly)\
**Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-size-penis-size/182701/34 "2003-06-18T20:56:29Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by lieu \*  
> Didn’t I read here that a clitoris is really a small penis… or if you’re a woman that a penis is really just a large clitoris?

You may have read it here, but it isn’t technically true. They are analogous (not to be confused with analingus), but not really equivalent, organs. The function and structure of each is different, though they share some of the same tissue (eg erectile) and both originate from the some non-differentiated organ during development.

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**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\
**Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-size-penis-size/182701/35 "2003-06-18T22:33:49Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by jsgoddess \*  
> \*\*Ack. Too. Not two.
> 
> If I had a bigger penis, would I have caught that typo?
> 
> Julie \*\*

Would you like one?

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\
**Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-size-penis-size/182701/36 "2003-06-18T23:07:37Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> Is this what passes for debate in the GD forum? If you are getting no traction, start saying that people you disagree with have small penises?

Damn! I thought we were gonna discuss penis size and traction. But that would have been a “slippery slope” argument.

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**Author:** ![SanibelMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@SanibelMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanibelMan)\
**Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-size-penis-size/182701/37 "2003-06-19T04:28:45Z")

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Both my Accord and my penis get great “mileage.” Both get me to my destination quickly, with a minimum of energy spent. This is not necessarily a good thing, when applied to both.

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**Author:** ![MelCthefirst](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eada6e/32.png) [@MelCthefirst](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MelCthefirst)\
**Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-size-penis-size/182701/38 "2003-06-19T05:06:22Z")

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Just recently I’ve been thinking that rear spoilers and big exhausts were indicative of penis size over compensation.

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**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\
**Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 8:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-size-penis-size/182701/39 "2003-06-19T08:23:03Z")

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One more joke:

A little girl and her brother are taking a bath together. The girl sees her brother’s penis and says “Mommy, what’s that?”. “That’s called a penis, dear”. The little girl says, “Mommy, I want to have a penis”. The Mom says, “Don’t worry, honey - when you grow up, you can have as many as you want.”

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![leander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bcef8e/32.png) [@leander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leander)\
**Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 10:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/penis-size-penis-size/182701/40 "2003-06-19T10:15:27Z")

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95% of MALE dopers will probably open this thread. But not respond.

Why? Cause it is simultaneously our favorite and most feared subject.

(which should explain a lot, but still you don’t get it…)

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