# People, mostly older, who get peeved by retail and service workers saying "No problem" instead of "You're welcome" **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 6, 2024, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517 "2024-03-06T02:47:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Die\_Capacitrix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/die_capacitrix/32/9_2.png) [@Die\_Capacitrix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Die_Capacitrix)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2024, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/41 "2024-03-06T13:25:29Z")
> [@Cervaise](#): > > (Luxembourgish being a mashup of surrounding languages, I also hear the “merci” / “kee Problem” combo, which is vaguely amusing.) I presume that “merci / kee Problem” should be “merci” / “kein Problem. If so, mixing French and German is perfect Swiss German. And my apprentice just said “no problem” (English) when I thanked him, “Merci” for holding the door. I’m just happy that somebody says something instead of just grunting. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2024, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/42 "2024-03-06T13:30:59Z")
> [@Duckster](#): > > But call me by my first name when you’re younger than me, performing a service for me, and we’ve never met before, … well, that’s a problem. Respect is earned. Then by your reasoning, the younger person _should_ be able to call you by your first name because you’ve never met, and therefore you have not yet earned that respect. > [@Ynnad](#): > > “no problem” makes more sense to me than “your welcome” in this context. “Your welcome” does not make sense to me, either. “You’re welcome,” however, does. And when someone asks my date of birth, I tell them, then follow it up with “but no gift, please, just a card will be fine.” mmm ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2024, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/43 "2024-03-06T13:31:04Z")
> [@actualliberalnotoneofthose](#): > > have a blessed day Oooh, I hate that one. And my mom’s become one of the people who says it. Someday I’ll have the nerve to give ‘em a big ol’ grin and say, “Damned if I do and damned if I don’t!” ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2024, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/44 "2024-03-06T13:31:27Z")
I work retail with a crowd that skews older. I’ve been using ‘no problem’ in place of ‘you’re welcome’ for decades and never had anyone even suggest that it’s an issue. And a good chunk of our customers are your standard feisty Italian Nanas that aren’t going to hold back if I do something that annoys them. No one’s ever said anything to me. No one’s complained about me doing that to my boss or called/emailed to complain about it etc. I don’t think I’ve ever even thought anything of it. I’ve occasionally had someone get a bit annoyed when the Thank You/You’re welcome thing gets mixed up\*, but never because someone said no problem instead of you’re welcome. \*By that I mean, if you’re a customer checking out and reflexively thank the cashier as you’re leaving and then get annoyed because they should be thanking you. ---
**Author:** ![xtenkfarpl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/c2a13f/32.png) [@xtenkfarpl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xtenkfarpl)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2024, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/45 "2024-03-06T13:43:05Z")
This is very much a cultural thing. In the UK, someone performs a service for you, you say “thank you”, and that’s it. The transaction is complete. A further phrase is not required by the protocol. Of course it CAN be added (probably due to an influence from US english), and nobody takes offence, but it isn’t expected. ---
**Author:** ![Ynnad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/4491bb/32.png) [@Ynnad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ynnad)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2024, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/46 "2024-03-06T13:43:34Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > “Your welcome” does not make sense to me, either. “You’re welcome,” however, does. Dadgummit. Remember boys and girls, proofread, proofread, proofread. The SDMB will show you no mercy. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2024, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/47 "2024-03-06T13:47:01Z")
> [@actualliberalnotoneofthose](#): > > have a blessed day Yeah - that is irritating. I tend to be toss a buck or 2 to panhandlers, but if their sign says “God bless”, I figure their imaginary friend has them covered. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2024, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/48 "2024-03-06T13:48:51Z")
I don’t know if I find it irritating when someone says it to me, but I do know that a few years ago I went out of the way to stop saying it to other people because I thought it didn’t sound sufficiently appreciative. ---
**Author:** ![Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/q.q.switcheroo/32/5713_2.png) [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.Q.Switcheroo)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2024, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/49 "2024-03-06T13:50:11Z")
“No problem!” is hardly a “kids-these-days” phenomenon. William Safire wrote about it in a [1995 New York Times column](https://www.nytimes.com/1995/12/17/magazine/on-language-the-word-that-brought-down-the-house.html) - where he described it as a _bygone_ response to “thank you!”: > Used to be, when somebody said, “Thank you,” the other person replied, “You’re welcome” – automatically, as the night the day, as bitte followed danke. > Along came no problem. Somebody politely said, “Thanks”; the other guy said, “No problem,” or in idiomatic Russian, “Nyet problema.” > When the no problem response faded away, did _you’re welcome_ come back? No; it’s been expunged from the lexicon of courtesy. Now, all you hear in answer to “Thank you” is “Thank you.” If you go back even further, you can find Safire [writing about “no problem!” in 1983](https://www.nytimes.com/1983/07/03/magazine/on-language.html): > Certainly the phrase in the United States has broadened its meaning to a general ‘‘I’m glad to help’’ or ‘‘You’re welcome.’’ ---
**Author:** ![Mops](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mops/32/16494_2.png) [@Mops](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mops)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2024, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/50 "2024-03-06T13:52:36Z")
> [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](#): > > … > > (2) Does something parallel to this exist in other languages or cultures? > > … > > (3) Does it bother you if a barista or whoever says “no problem”? German here, of an age where it would be wildly optimistic for me to have a midlife crisis, so I guess I am one of those the OP wanted the opinion of. (2): Yes, in Germany there has been a trend to change from the previous _Bitte!_ or _Bitteschön!_ (“you are welcome”) to _Kein Problem!_ (“not a problem”). I first noticed this in the _Nullerjahre_ (the first decade of this century). Not only (what the OP referred to) with service employees, but equally in the private domain. (3): It still bothers me a bit, but privately (I see no reason to make an issue of it). The reason not being that it’s a change, but **being suddenly taken aback** : In the context of the favour that I asked for, or that was done to me without asking, I did never anticipate that it could be a problem. Something that is called a problem is a very serious thing to me and something to make me pause. When I say to someone that their request creates “a problem” for me, what I really am saying (and what the other person understands) is to say politely “Are you out of your f\*ing mind?”. When I say of myself that I have “a problem”, it’s in the “Houston, we have a problem” league. Like I am drowning, about to collapse from heatstroke or I run a 40 °C fever. So when I expect a mundane exchange of thanks and acknowledgement of thanks concerning a small favour, and the other person says “Not a problem”, I **feel a sudden stab of guilt**. I did not anticipate the possibility of anything as momentous as a ☠problem ⛈, and now the other person, in politely denying the existence of a problem, suddenly raises the possibility of a problem. This means I have imposed on them without meaning to. The phrases _de nada, de rien, не за что_ in other languages all are a denial of an unspecified something, but crucially do not raise the spectre of “a problem”. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2024, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/51 "2024-03-06T13:57:00Z")
> [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](#): > > In my region I’ve noticed in medical offices it’s become quite typical to use first names when they summon you in from the waiting room. At one of the offices I used to go to in California, they had posted a notice announcing this and explaining the reason for why; though I honestly can’t remember what the reason was, it made good sense to me. Among other reasons it might be done the important reason is to protect your privacy. ---
**Author:** ![doreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/858c86/32.png) [@doreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doreen)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2024, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/52 "2024-03-06T14:15:36Z")
I don’t understand how calling me from the waiting room by my first name protects my privacy - if you know me, you will recognize me by sight. If you don’t know me , it doesn’t violate my privacy to call me "Ms. Jones " in any way that isn’t violated by calling me “Doreen”. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2024, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/53 "2024-03-06T14:36:22Z")
It is easier to identify people by their last name, which usually isn’t “Smith” or “Jones”. In addition you can use any first name you like. It doesn’t protect your privacy from people who recognize you on sight, but it does do it for scammers who might pick up your name at a doctor’s office, and it is a requirement under HIPAA regulations to minimize the use of identifying information. A lot of people have good reason to keep their medical condition private and this is just one small way to aid that. Scammers could be anything from the usual riff-raff fishing for victims, medical product vendors who want your name to sell you crap, and insurance investigators who want to void your coverage. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2024, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/54 "2024-03-06T14:36:54Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > Formulaic social phrases are going to keep evolving, and their new versions are going to keep on sounding weird to people who are unfamiliar to them and thus interpret them too literally. We’ve been sideswiped by the steamroller of linguistic evolution. Tell me about it. I struggle with, “I appreciate you, Bullitt.” I don’t know how to respond because I tend to interpret it literally. “I appreciate you, Bullitt.” “You do? Oh, yeah, I guess I appreciate you too.” Instead maybe I should just say, “Take care. Have a good one.” ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2024, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/55 "2024-03-06T14:42:15Z")
> [@Die\_Capacitrix](#): > > > [@Cervaise](#): > > > > (Luxembourgish being a mashup of surrounding languages, I also hear the “merci” / “kee Problem” combo, which is vaguely amusing.) > > I presume that “merci / kee Problem” should be “merci” / “kein Problem. If so, mixing French and German is perfect Swiss German. No, “kee” is correct here in Luxembourgish. The equivalent to German “kein” is “keng” but it changes to “kee” in this informal context. So “merci / kee Problem” is a mashup of French and Luxembourg’s mutant semi-German dialect. ---
**Author:** ![Babale](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/babale/32/15666_2.png) [@Babale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Babale)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2024, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/56 "2024-03-06T14:54:59Z")
> [@Duckster](#): > > But call me by my first name when you’re younger than me, performing a service for me, and we’ve never met before, … well, that’s a problem. Respect is earned. In Israel, we called our teachers by their first name. Moving to America, I had to adjust to Mr. and Mrs. in school, which did feel odd, and meant I never felt nearly as close with any of my teachers stateside, but that was easy enough for me to accept - I understood that the teacher/student dynamic was different in this country, and I adjusted. But a few times I met friends’ parents and they insisted on the Mr/Mrs Lastname construction too. _That_ really rubbed me the wrong way, and eventually I stopped being friends with kids whose parents insisted on that sort of nonsense. Like you said - > [@Duckster](#): > > Respect is earned Eta: and by that same token, nothing makes me cringe more than being called “Mr. Lastname”. I’d say “Mr. Lastname was my father”, but no, my dad doesn’t go by that either. Neither did _his_ dad. ---
**Author:** ![Cardigan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardigan/32/187_2.png) [@Cardigan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardigan)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2024, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/57 "2024-03-06T15:00:31Z")
Turn 60 shortly. It would never occur to me to be offended or even irked if someone says ‘no problem’ as opposed to ‘you’re welcome’ or whatever other acknowledgement of courtesy happens to be currently in vogue. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2024, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/58 "2024-03-06T15:08:00Z")
“No problem” is no problem. Having customer service types say “Alright!”, “Perfect” or “Have a blessed day” grates a bit, but it’s not worth chasing them off my lawn. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2024, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/59 "2024-03-06T15:08:48Z")
Heck, I can remember as a little kid being taught by my parents about how to interact with a cashier when making a purpose. > [@5yo LSLGuy](#): > > Lemme get this straight, Mom. After we’ve exchanged cash and change and they’ve bagged my stuff they’re going to say “thank you” and I’m supposed to say “thank you” back at them? > > What a stupid custom; it sounds like we’re arguing. It’s all arbitrary. And formulaic. And stupid. But totally necessary for social lubrication. It’s also idiomatic: the phrase doesn’t mean what the words cumulatively suggest. I agree with the folks that “No problem” sounds a bit off-putting if taken literally. To me the literal meaning is “As the clerk who served you, you have made a difficult request that was a PITA and I was put out by all the effort of serving you. But I’m willing, just this once, to make an exception and not bitch you out for your demanding nature.” It smells like “The customer is an interruption to the clerk’s busy day of reading their phone.” I totally accept that’s not what the idiom means. And I take no offense over it and never have. But it feels to me like that’s what the underlying words mean. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2024, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517/60 "2024-03-06T15:09:49Z")
> [@Ynnad](#): > > > [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > > > “Your welcome” does not make sense to me, either. “You’re welcome,” however, does. > > Dadgummit. Remember boys and girls, proofread, proofread, proofread. The SDMB will show you no mercy. Ha ha, sorry. Couldn’t resist. mmm [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-mostly-older-who-get-peeved-by-retail-and-service-workers-saying-no-problem-instead-of-youre-welcome/998517.md?page=4)